₦airaland Forum

Did nobody read about the terrible road conditions being the cause of all these deaths? if the roads were good would the tanker get stuck and then request for the services of a tow truck? Also would the other bus have sparked the fire? Nigerian authorities need to be proactive and stop blaming their deliberately impoverished citizens.

I want to bet anybody that even after such magnitude of deaths on that road absolutely nothing would still be done to fix that road to forestall a future re-occurence.

I WEEP FOR THIS NATION.

Hello could u drop you phone number pls so we can talk.

Instead of sharing why not get a room self contained in ajah for 250k

i have a self contained apartment in ajah. For 200k you could move in.

How do you know when you have found the person that you should marry? Some say that you should just trust God to lead that special person to you or lead you to him or her. Others believe that God will show you your spouse when you meet him or her. I believe the answer lies somewhere in the middle. Let me explain. Let's look at what the Bible says about acquiring a spouse.

(Proverbs 18:22 NIV) He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.

I would like to focus in on the word "finds." This implies that the man searches for the wife. Also note that the one who finds a wife, which is good, receives favor from the Lord. In other words, finding a good wife is an indication that a man has received grace of favor from God. Let me show you another scripture that applies to the principle that I am trying to share.

(Psalms 1:3 NIV) He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers.

Again we see how God blesses what we do. A man will seek a wife and will find one. God blesses the man's activities by him finding a wife. Now there are a lot of other scriptures that I can quote that further illustrate the concept I am trying to relay to you. However, instead of quoting them let me simply reference them for you to review at your convenience. See also the following:

Psalm 119:105-The word of God can direct us as we search for a wife (application of this scripture)

Matthew 7:7-We will find a wife if we seek (application of this scripture)

Joshua 1:8-The importance of God's word and success and prosperity (an application of this scripture)

The point that I want to make is that I believe that a wife is not going to simply drop out of the sky. It is very unlikely that you can go on with your life and do nothing to look for a wife and then expect one to show up. I believe the same principle applies to women looking for husbands as well. How is this so? Isn't it the man's job to pursue the woman? I don't believe this is entirely true. Yes a man will pursue the woman of his dreams, however, the woman should also pursue the man of her dreams. The man and the woman will respectively pursue in different ways but both will still pursue.

I believe that the spouse must be pursued both before marriage and after the wedding day. This pursuit is active and involves many things that you may take for granted. In order for you to find a good wife (or husband for the woman), that potential spouse must somehow catch your attention. This leads us to the realm of attractiveness.


It is first necessary to be attracted to someone or be attractive to someone in order to connect with a possible mate. Now here is were some go very wrong and end up entering a relationship that results in disaster. Many men become interested in a certain woman because she looks "FINE!" He may like her general appearance, her nice legs, her breasts, her smile, her arms, or her behind. Basically a man may become interested in a woman because of her physical attraction and likewise a woman may become interested in a man because of his physical attraction. I must say that the attraction of a man to a woman tends to be different in some respects. A man does not care what kind of car a woman drives or if she drives a car at all. However, woman, based on the information that I have gathered, will consider the type of car a man drives or if he drives at all. This is based on what the man and woman want in a relationship respectively.

There is more to attractiveness than physical attraction. Many men, including myself, find woman interesting who are of course generally fit and healthy and who are intellectually stimulating. There is also the general aura of the other person. There is much more to a human being then just flesh and blood. I believe that there is a life force, which some call Chi or Ki. Some may think of this life force and associate it with the aura of a person or energy that emanates from the person. We can sense these things and react to them, usually subconsciously. I recall Pastor Blumentoe explaining this to us (Bible class students). She asked us if we had ever met someone and, for no reason at all, felt uncomfortable or comfortable about that person? She said that this reaction could have been the result of our response to their life force or spirit. I tend to agree, however, I don't want to get into a discussion on that topic at this time, especially since it is very subjective.

There may be many things that can induce a person to become interested in another in the area of male female relationships. There is physical and intellectual attractiveness. Physical attractiveness is more than being pretty or handsome. It involves good grooming and good hygiene. A beautiful person does not have to look like a supermodel. Beauty comes from within and radiates outward. External beauty is only a cover that does not indicate what's inside. For example, a brand new body on a car with a corroded engine and torn seats is not a good car to have. However, a clean car with a good paint job with a working engine and clean seats is more desirable. My point is not to narrow your scope for a possible mate by looks alone.

It is a very dangerous thing to enter and pursue a relationship with someone because they have a great body and is the prettiest thing you ever saw. What's inside? Be sensitive to who the person really is and not just what he or she looks like. Looking for the tall dark and handsome man or the 36-24-36 women is no guarantee whatsoever of a good and lasting marriage. Learn to be attracted to the whole person. Probe the person for signs. For example, does the guy that you are interested in, ladies, seem to always catch himself before he is about to say what sounds like a curse word? Does this person always want to be alone and in private with you or always wants to go to a bar? These are signs of other things that are lingering below the camouflage of the outer appearance and smooth talk.

Attractiveness is a quality of the whole person. What attracts me may not attract you. Some men like skinny women while others like big ones. Some woman like hulk men while others like lean guys. You have to realize that what attracts you may not be attractive to someone else, which means that someone else's opinion about your new found "friend" may be invalid.

There are some general things that you can do to be attractive. Be yourself in good condition. If you are a sloppy person with bad hygiene then you will not likely attract many people. I believe it is important that you take care of yourself by looking your best all of the time. We will see that this is a neglected aspect once marriage has been entered. That is, we may think that it is OK to let ourselves go once we are married. Here are some things that lead to attractiveness.

Physically fit (we can't deny the importance of this)
Good grooming
Good language
Good hygiene (don't smell bad and brush your teeth, etc.)
Wear nice and clean clothes
Look your best all of the time

If you are an abrasive person then don't put up a front to appear passive. There are men that find abrasive women attractive. If you put up a front and attract a man that is turned off by abrasive women then you have just created a very bad situation, which began with deceit.

Attractiveness also deals with your character and demeanor. Are you an honest person, hard working person, rude person, etc.? Do you exhibit self-control and are you up front about yourself? The type of person you present yourself to be will greatly influence whom you attract and vice versa.
Compatibility

You must realize that you are looking for a spouse and that spouse will be with you for the rest of your life. Therefore, you should take special care in entering a relationship with anyone. The union between a man and a woman is not merely a physical one. There should be compatibility between the two that indicates the possibility of a successful marriage. You can see very quickly here that good looks and good sex will not lead to a successful and prosperous life together in marriage. Do not let sexual or psychological infatuation or romantic delusion lead you to get married. This may lead to a very unhappy marriage.

The Bible tells us that the husband and the wife form one flesh (Genesis 2:24). Simply getting married does not form this one flesh. There must be an oneness or unity between the two before the wedding day! This means that the two has to be compatible. What is this compatibility? Consider the following scripture.

2 Corinthians 6:14 through 2 Corinthians 6:15 (NCV) 14You are not the same as those who do not believe. So do not join yourselves to them. Good and bad do not belong together. Light and darkness cannot share together. 15How can Christ and Belial, the devil, have any agreement? What can a believer have together with a nonbeliever?

I choose the New Century Version of the Bible because I really liked the way this scripture was worded, which is consistent with the actual meaning. Basically, two people should be compatible before they enter into a binding relationship whether that relationship is marriage, friendship, or business partner.

The best, if not only, way to determine compatibility is to inquire and observe. Ask questions and observe how your "friend" behaves and responds to situations. What church does he or she attend and what clubs does he or she belong to. Answers to these and similar probing questions will greatly help you determine compatibility.


The most fundamental compatibility in a Christian marriage is that both the husband and wife are Christians themselves and not as a result of the relationship. I believe that your mate should have been a Christian before you met him or her else there may be suspicion that he or she only profess to be a Christian in order to win you over. A professed Christian is not a born again Christian. A professed Christian is simply someone who has gone through the motions that the church requires and claims to be a Christian. So your potential mate should be a Christian already, at least ideally.

Note that finding someone in a church service is no guarantee that he or she is a Christian. Only examining that person and prayer will help to determine if the person is really a Christian or not. The Bible tells us that we should not be unequally yoked (joined in any binding relationship) with unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14). Though this scripture is not exclusively referring to marriage, it does apply just the same. In general a Christian should not enter into any binding relationship with a non-Christian on a personal level (else we would have to leave this Earth). For example, you shouldn't marry someone that is not a Christian and you should not enter into a business partnership with someone that is a non-believer.

This is my 2 cents