₦airaland Forum

You are still fighting your past. The experience of your past good-bad boyfriend with his drama has not left your memory so you see boring and overcaring new boyfriend against old good-bad boy.
The choice is yours to try as much as possible to erase the old memory (old boyfriend) and begin to appreciate your new boyfriend or let go of the new guy pls

ageraGT:
A little history…I’m 28, divorced with two young kids, they live at home. He is 37, divorced with one teenage. Here is my dilemma…. I can’t figure out if I’m attracted to him or the fact that he’s a good guy.

You wait and pray for there to be a good guy left on this earth and finally one comes along and you find him boring or at least not challenging.

What is that? Am I crazy?

He is completely into me. Calls, writes me letters, texts, takes me out, does family outings, asks about my day, washes my car, is clean, is fit, responsible, understanding, compliments me, etc, etc. We’ve been dating two months. We don’t get too much opportunity to spend alone time so we’ve only slept with each other twice. It was okay, not mind-blowing or anything. I’ve had much better, but I’ve had much worse with the wrong guys too. He’s relatively attractive but not my usual type or taste.

Am I being picky because I think my boyfriend is boring? Any other woman would think he is a great catch. I think so as well but just…I don’t know why I can’t get into him.

He’s completely fallen for me, thinks I’m strong, independent, beautiful, good mom, etc. wants to make me happy and for me to be his “girlfriend” and I can just tell the L word is coming along any day now. I can just tell and trust me, I’m not wrong on this.

Another bit of history…

So he usually gets involved with psychos that latch on to him. That is – the complete opposite of me. I like my space and I don’t care if I never see you again. Guys come and go but my family, especially my kids, are forever. It’s one of the mottos I live by. I don’t need anyone to take care of me. A guy in my life is “nice to have” but by no means a need. I think I’m a challenge for him, which is fine. But on my side of things it’s too easy.

From experience, happily ever after doesn’t exist. Sure everyone puts their best foot forward when they’re dating but who’s to say he’ll stay like that? Am I just confused and not giving him a real chance? Or is just the reverse that I’m just not into him? Then the dilemma becomes do I let this great guy go and regret it afterward?

Can you give some advice on this? I have no idea what to do.
No insults please.
Thank you.

Any GNLD here??
Honestly I want to order for TRE EN EN.
Kindly DM me

I understand how it feels getting to a new arena of love. Atheist that I know have the following qualities.
1. They are humanistic
2. Cheerful
3. Realistic
4. Quite open minded
5. Friendly.
However,

If you believe in your Christianity and your salvation then you have the following odds
1. 2 Corinthians 6: 14 "don't be equally yoked with unbeliever"
2. Psalms 11:3 If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do?
3. Galatians 5:25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.
4. Have you consulted your creator (God) who is the founder of marriage institution. Pray about it anything God tells you about him then work with that. Conclude your issues in the spiritual first before approaching him. Anything you get from the spiritual then work with it.
But personally I don't support a believer marrying unbeliever

I feel ashame thinking about Kogi State always.
OPPORTUNITIES IN KOGI STATE
•Out of 31mineral resources in Nigeria, Kogi has 27.
•By landmarks Kogi is bigger than Lagos.
•Kogi is the first federal catipal territory in Nigeria before Lagos
• Ajaokuta steel company alone can beat many countries' natural resources
• The fertile land in Eastern and western part of the state can make us compete with Benue as food basket of the nation
BUT NO DEVELOPMENT BECAUSE
1. Lost opportunities. Our past KINGs had many golden opportunities squandered away. The federal government wanted building airport in Ankpa but the Onuh at that time refused citing that they don't have enough land to give to white men.
The federal government proposed Barrack same in Ankpa but the King said the sholddiers will finish their daughters.
Dekina would have being the economic hub but the King troubled the white and they left there to settle at Onisha and you can imagine the economic boom in Onisha till date (although I equally know Igbos as economic technocrats)

2. Foundational issues. During the reign of Ameh Oboni 1, there were many sacrifices that were done to fortify the land to an extent of using his daughter for atonement. His successors may not have been able to follow his steps in those sacrifices dilligently and that may have great effect on the descendants except those who strongly believe in their God.

3. Fetish practices. I know Africans to be spiritual but the fetish practices in Edo, Ogun, Kogi, Akwa Ibom, Benue and other related states is so alarming but the unfortunate thing about Kogi is that they don't know how to convert their charms to Money making machine unlike Edo.

4. Poor political leadership. I know Nigeria doesn't have good leaders and Kogi is an example of it.
Prince Abubakar brought University but he killed his administration with pride.
We thought we have had enough of Abubakar not knowing that after him, the political leadership will be in downward slide.
Ibro Idris did not bring development but pay salary
Wada started half salary but paid every workers.
Yahaya Bello sacked many civil servants without replacement and called them ghost workers and the people that are not in his good books like any employee through Dino and other PDP'S doesn't get paid. Even though you are in APC and your godfather is not in his good books be sure no salary for you.
Money for infrastructural development and for civil servants that he embezzled without singular project in the state is what he is trusting vying for President

5. Poor mentality. While Igbos compete with their brothers and try to overtake them for who have the highest money, my Kogi brothers witch-hunt their brothers for being successful. That's why you see many of the rich men investing and spending their money in the cities without doing much in their hometowns for fear of being killed. In fact they prefer helping other people than their own people except for few individuals.
6. Ignorance. Many of them don't know it but they believe they know more than you that knows it. So even trying to help them requires lots of wisdom because of their interpretation to the help you want to render.

POSSIBLE ROUTE FOR YOU
1. Try to connect with any of your close friend(s) who live in city like Abuja, Lagos, Port Harcourt or any other city so you go in search for fortune.

2. I know you will be worried of your mum how life will be for her without you but the simple truth is that miracle needs to happen so you can have testimonies. So if God surprise you with the money you are looking for then you can settle at home with your mum but if the money did not come by then get her HANDSET if she doesn't have while you leave your comfort zone in search of better thing to do for your living.

3. Try to reach out to your uncles and family members who you think can be of help. Who knows help may come from them

If your story is true then you need to verify who this your new boy is and his real intentions. Because a professional counselor will not do this. Is against the ethical conduct.
However, now that you have made up your mind to go for the new man then DIVORCE your husband and move on with the new man and enjoy all the marital ectasis

With time you will definitely get over her unless you willingly commit suicide.
These following points can help you get over her.
1. Morning exercise. Do exercise every morning and the result will surprise you. You will be lifted from worry, anxiety, boredom and unnecessary depression.
2. Try as much as possible to think about her negative lifestyles. Never focus your mind on her positive attitude. Consider the money and time you spent on her as unplanned sacrifice. That way she appears totally replaceable.
3. Socialise. Mingle with new friends, watch game (football), soccer hall can be your second home for the maintime but I don't encourage you to bet ooo except at your discretion.
4. You can survive the world without her. In fact you can survive the world without majority of the so called irreplaceable ones around you. So give yourself time and don't rush to have new girlfriend yet but just be friendly with people that way your social life will improve.
5. Dress handsomely. Good appearance Cannot be over emphasised. Ladies and people generally can't resist good looking guys except your character
6. Hope you have source of income. That way you are independent. Then be sure your heartbreak is just for a moment

Nice post. Alot of people forget these ingredients for lasting marriage. While am not encouraging anybody to ignore red flags in courtship I strongly believe that understanding, good communication and love are lasting ingredients for marriage