fridaygift:
come and complete it oooo

How many times do you go to church?
Me: Sundays and Wednesdays sir.
I lied.
Pastor: What? That's terrible. If you want me to be happy with you, you have to attend the Tuesday prayer meeting and the Thursday worker's meeting too! And you have to fast on those days ok
Me: Yes sir I will sir.
Then he finally stood up and left Amaka and I alone. Amaka was quite happy. She came up to me and said
"wow I'm so happy Victor I didn't know you were this spiritual. I've been searching for a guy who will take the work of the Lord serious and not these types that will ask for something as ungodly as a kiss".
Gbam! Wrong address. I knew I was at the wrong place with the wrong girl. Naso I stand up wan leave o.
"Ah ahn Brother Victor won't you even hear my answer again?", She asked.
"No dear not now I need to pray about it", I responded as I left, and never went back there
end of story

PASTOR'S 'DOTA'
One time I was single for very long. So single I had a dream that I became a reverend father. When I woke up I was terrified. I started asking all my female friends out, and all of them kept telling me the same thing; "You are like a friend to me". Some- "You are like a brother to me". One particular one even told me "You are like a class rep to me".
So I decided to go to church o, for the first time in 6 months I went to church, because this had become a spiritual something. Even the bible says it is not good for a man to live alone. On Sunday I wore my only native shirt, I ironed it 4 times, inside and outside; complete with starch.
I got to church and saw many girls, and one very fine girl. She was the usher that directed me to my sit. Very beautiful igbo chic, complete with all the igbo girls package- light-skinned, open teeth and complete with sexy yam legs. This has to be her.
During offering, she brought the offering basket to me, I dipped my hand my pocket to pull out the 100 naira I budgeted for offering. That was how my bad-belle hand mistakenly pulled my last 1000 naira note instead. I looked at her, she was smiling at me; and in a split second of confusion and possession by the evil spirit, I dropped the 1000 naira into the offering basket. I felt defeated, useless... But then she smiled at me; and I felt good again.
After church service I approached her, and didn't have to talk much before she gave me her number.... I was sure she was impressed by my generous offering. It's money na... Igbo chic! So I took my Blessing home, I mean her number. Her name was Amaka.
I started texting her na, hitting all the right spots and her responses were very encouraging, I asked her out and she said she would think and pray about it, that I should give her some days. In this Nigeria o, if she took a few days to decide whether or not to be my girlfriend, what if I now propose! All these church girls forming for somebody. I said ok.
After three days, she called and said she has decided on what to do, but she wanted to tell me her answer in person. Ah, that's great na! Atleast a little celebratory sex after she said yes wouldn't be bad. But she insisted I came to her house. That's even better! Afterall away goals count better than goals scored at home. That was how I saddled my horse and went to her place o. Put on my best shirt, well ironed trousers, shined my palm sanders so well the sun reflected through it and ofcourse I didn't forget to carry two condoms too.... You never can tell who could get lucky.
So I got to her place o. A residential compound. I got to the door, I almost couldn't see the door as it was plastered with all sorts of church stickers. From 2003 till date all complete. My heart started beating faster. I knocked and a voice came from inside-
"Please enter in Jesus name".
I was stiff for a while, then I summoned enough courage to enter. The first thing I saw when I entered was one very big Jesus poster, with Jesus looking straight into my eyes. I turned to greet the person I met inside-It was the pastor of last Sunday.
"Ah, wrong house Sir", I said and made to turn back before I heard Amaka's voice from inside
"No Victor it's the right house".
She came out to meet me in the living room. I greeted the pastor and greeted her. She introduced the pastor to me as her father.
INTERMISSION
******
So we were all in her living room together. Amaka, her pastor father, and I... Watching a sermon on the TV. I had to nod my head as if the message was sinking in. When they say "praise God" my hallelujah was loudest! God saved me, I almost got born again but NEPA carried light. Then her dad decided to "lighten the mood" when he turned to me to ask questions.
Pastor: So what do you say your name is son?
Me: Victor sir. Victor Daniel.
Pastor: Are you a student?
Me: Yes sir
Pastor: What do you study?
Me: The word of God and Law sir.
Pastor: Hmmmm that's nice. So what's your best meal?
Me: Bread without yeast ....
To be continued

We surprised already.. Can't afford more!

Pls the immigration recruitment link oo.
Pls any one help

ADAMUdaCOWBOY:
Some people claim to be Africans yet they don't have tribal names. Which one is Godwin Benson again? Op you too you suppose investigate the guy middle name na? Ah ahn! This one na news?

Take this with love from Afghanistan bro....
U no see Godwin there?

bukitt:
Yummy! I eat Titus only n just ate a bowl of rice with Titus fish stew like i always do n I'm here full n hor ny af n waitin to make a booty call at d right time.

Who are u?

doctimonyeka:
lol.. Im in Ogbomoso, oyo state..

I dey Ibadan o

MZLady39:



Looks gorgeous and very appetizing.
Everytime I see rice, I automatically feel as if I'm gonna like the dish.
If that's some sort of stew, it looks good.

I ll rather say sauce sha. Thanks for the compliments.
Can we be friends

doctimonyeka:
Op see as you make me salivate ehn.... You better send my share....




That meal is rich mehn.... Kudos...

Thank you! Ur address lemme send ur share

I felt like eating something different... This came forth from my kitchen
Share with me pls

AskProf:


Aren't you sick?

You are

I have nothing to say!
See pics

Dem go teach u lesson for prison.... Expect to be seriously used miss stabber

This One weak me

raker300:
Why? Why host him? All these famzing sef with no justification..

If he's here to train future boxers then fine, but he's not..so I ask again, why?

U blind dem get match

40manlappy:


Thanks. Bought the phone on presale at $204.57 plus shipping though it is cheaper now. Battery capacity is 4000 mAh.

Thanks bro...how long did it take to get here from ...
I am new on this and interested

I think we should take this very seriously! I have been researching this a while now.. It seems to he very real

(Gluten is a compound found in semolina and wheat)

11 WAYS GLUTEN AND WHEAT CAN DAMAGE YOUR HEALTH




“Gluten” is basically a buzzword at this point, but even if you’re avoiding it, do you really know what it is? And did you know that there’s other stuff in wheat that’s also worth avoiding: wheat is bad news for reasons that have nothing to do with gluten. Here’s a look at 11 reasons why.

The Basics

First of all, a refresher: wheat is a grain. The calories in wheat come mostly from carbohydrates, but wheat also contains a few problem proteins.

Gluten
Wheat Germ Agglutinin
Amylase Trypsin Inhibitors
Problems caused by these proteins are not the same thing as blood sugar problems caused by the carbohydrates in wheat. It’s true that getting a majority of calories from wheat (especially refined wheat) can cause metabolic problems like blood sugar swings. But these problems would be caused by any high-carb diet, and they’re only relevant for people eating a large amount of wheat: something like a spoonful of soy sauce wouldn’t be a problem.

This post is not about metabolic issues like blood sugar and carbohydrates. It’s about a totally different list of problems caused specifically by wheat and the proteins it contains. These problems are relevant even for people eating a small amount of wheat, and even for people who do fine eating carbs.

So what’s so bad about wheat?

1. Wheat Problems Aren’t Restricted to People with Celiac Disease

The most famous problem with wheat is celiac disease, an autoimmune reaction provoked by gluten and treatable with a gluten-free diet. 30-40% of people have the genetic background to potentially develop celiac disease, but only about 1-3% of people actually do – it’s not clear why but it may have something to do with the gut microbiome.

Most people know that celiac disease requires absolutely strict avoidance of all gluten. But a lot of people also think that if you don’t have celiac disease, you’re completely in the clear.

That’s not true. Recently there’s been an increased amount of interest in non-celiac gluten sensitivity (NCGS). Plenty of people have documented sensitivities to gluten that aren’t actually celiac disease (as you’ll read below, there’s a different immune reaction involved). There’s also the overlapping problem of other proteins in wheat – wheat germ agglutinin and amylase trypsin inhibitors are not the same thing as gluten and you can be sensitive to them regardless of how your body handles gluten.

Wheat isn’t just a problem for people with celiac disease, and there’s more to wheat than gluten.

2. Gut Inflammation

Inflammation is the natural response of your immune system to injury. You can see it in action whenever you get a cut or splinter and the surrounding area gets all red and tender. The proteins in wheat are gut irritants: they’re like that papercut or splinter digging into the lining of your gut, causing an inflammatory response.

The most famous case is the inflammation caused by gluten in people with celiac disease or non-celiac gluten sensitivity. But inflammation from wheat is also a problem even for people who aren’t sensitive to gluten specifically. Amylase trypsin inhibitors (ATIs for short) that can provoke an inflammatory immune response in the GI tract by stimulating immune cells. This occurs in people regardless of whether they have celiac disease or not – it’s a completely different problem from gluten and it can cause trouble for you regardless of whether or not you’re sensitive to gluten in particular.

That inflammation is dangerous because…

3. Increased Intestinal Permeability

Inflammation in the gut contributes to a problem called intestinal permeability. The gut has a very complex system of “border control” that lets digested food into your bloodstream (this is how you get nutrients from it)
Pls read the remainder here
https://paleoleap.com/11-ways-gluten-and-wheat-can-damage-your-health/
Lalasticlala FP pls

40manlappy:
Launched my Redmi Note 4 Global/SD today. I am still navigating it but the phone is supercool! See few pics below

cc: Gptech, jboixxx, fibonacci2526, GrandMufti

Bro congrats.... Pls give me info on the battery life and the cost of the gadget.
Thanks

07053372483

Na fire services I do sef same issue. No login link

Let v the wild life finish we go import new ones

How come its the PDP goons only ,even to the grassroot level that are fronting this party

Jck5:
A bag of guinea corn 15k contact me on mobile no: 08133337001. ILORIN RESIDENT.

How many kg?

Could this be the new PDP

I am tired if thinking of this solution... Any help from the house
Lalaaticlala
My