₦airaland Forum

.

@havilla,
mumc cannot even dare deny it. remember i saidmy elder sister is also a witness so how does she wanna deny that. if she develops high bp,na so God want am. she dint think of all that before jumping into bed not with a stranger but her hubby's bro. as for the bad relationship btw them now,na 2 of them know wetin cause am n i really dont care.what would bring a closure to all this for me would be to find out WHY she did.my pops was an angel so it beats me as to why she was stabbing him.

@thatchic
mehn,i wouldnt want to offend u at all cos ur so damn real. u say it as it is. no time for asss-licking. i just need to man up. its gotten to a point where the thougt of the whole ish occupies my mind, its difficult to focus. funny,mumc called me ystday. i looked at the phone n just smiled whilst responding "yes ma, yes ma" to her enquiries.

@bellong n mixed chic, many tnx 4 ur advice. God will help me. I might or might not confront her eventually. If it goes to d grave with me, no p. Guess av learnt a lesson or two from this.

@bellong n mixed chic, many tnx 4 ur advice. God will help me.

°°°mixedchic°°°:
shocking!

if I were in your shoes I would be restless until I knw the truth.

why dont you and your siblings try to find out who really your father is now your uncle is alive to at least keep things in proper perspective?.. cause you might regret not knowing once its too late.

since your sister is also aware, let the confrontation and DNA be between both of you, mum and uncle for now. you may choose to share details or involve your other siblings as findings unfold if you so wish to.

somehow there maybe repercussions albeit spiritual to such situations especially when you knw and did nothing bout it. pls avoid any curse on yourself by bringing this abomination to foreclosure. confront your mum and let her confess and seek forgiveness.

it is well

Nice one! Tnx a lot. Prior to opening this thread, I had never thought about the prob of my uncle being my pop n still don't wanna cos fit kill person if na true. To think all that my dad went through to get us educated n all was just charity? Nooooo, I really can't even begin t comprehend it. Seriously, it can make me do something stuuupid.
Asked my sis about confronting mumc some days back but she tod me to bone jare. Prolly shez also scared of what might result from it. Ma head's just muddled up now. Like I said, I don't mind confronting her on my own, buh I just never gather enough liver. My mum's very tough n am actually scared of her(sad but true). Maybe I'll get high on some alcohol before I go to meet her.

theLORDreigns: Pls if u were raised in such atmosphere, don't confront your mom, just let it fly.
What u really need is inner peace, but u can't get it from hurting others. Try forgiving your mom first

Tnx oo. I guess av forgiven her but I simply can't 'delete' it from my mind no matter how much I try. I guess I'll grow old with it, create a separate compartment in ma mind for it.
Guess I learnt from it, how not to behave in the presence of my kids later on.

@meine
Tnx 4 ur contributions. I'd reallly love to talk to her but we were raised under the atmosphere of 'children r to be seen n not heard' so its gonna be hard to psych myself to actually do the talking even though I'm grown now.

Tinkybabe: I don't want to start imagining how bad it's been for you. It's really a twisted situation.

This is my resolve on it, if you're bold enough to stomach what would/ might result from the confrontation-A can of worms..then by all means go ahead to confront your mum and relieve yourself of the burden.

If on the other hand you are not ready to hear some shocking news that might come up.Then let it slide and try as much as possible to purge yourself of the thoughts and memories.

It is well.

.

honestly,i dont know anymore. bin trying to purge myself of the thoughts lilke u said n av failed woefully. this thing happened wen i was like 7 or 8,to thnk i still remember evrytin now after sooooo many years is annoying.i know il never forget it ever,i cant help it. i pray i find the liver to talk to her about it soon.

ileobatojo: If I were to take a guess, I would say your unresolved PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) is responsible for the issues you are facing. It is not the act itself that is to blame. It is your perception of the act, the fact that you have not properly processed it and that you have not filed those memories in the compartment of your head they need to be in. It is still causing chaos in your mind and that is the problem. None of this is your fault by the way, you were traumatized as a child.

Ultimately, your best bet is to face your fear. Confront it. No more avoidance. Ideally, this process should be overseen by a professional but lawd help me if I believe you can find one who knows the right thing to do in that Nigeria. Wish you all the best. It is a difficult one.

@ your mom....Wow.

the confrotational part is what scares me the most. i want to know n at the same time,i dont wanna know. i'd go on with life thinking i av forgotten abt the whole ish n den, gbam, something triggers the memory for me again.
na real wow @ my mum,what was she thinking. that particular occassion where i actually witnessed the action, i remember peeping at them. they were fo,ndling n i saw their nake,dness in full glare. i still carry that pix with me.

King4Che: Am thinkin dat ur dad wz infertile...dat ur uncle corraboratd wit ur mum 2 bore him kids....it happen in my own family...one of my distanc uncles went 2 c his younger bro who is a doc over infertility issue...so his bro after dicoverin dat d he cnt spawn issue corraboratd wit his wife 2 start makin babies 4 him...

naaa,there's no doubt abt my dad's fertility. mumc is actually his 2nd wife. 1st wife bore him 7kids n my mum bore him 4. my immediate elder brother bears a striking resemblance to him.

overdrive: Bros let sleeping bingos lie,d eed has been done and long forgotten u might unearth smthing u will spend d rest of ur days regretting.let d poor woman be abeg.d psn dey both wronged ws ignorant of d deed and he is no more so biko cut d mumc sm slack.c sm posters already insinuating u go get DNA.what if eventually ur uncle is ur pop what next?

lol.i know il neva go for any DNA no matter the provocation. i guess i just want her to know that we know. with the way they both behave towards each other now,it'l be hard to believe they had something goin on years back. would av tot i was just imagining things if my sister had not confirmed witnessing the same thing.
hmmmmm.

mysticgal: bros go do DNA it might probably ease the tension,meanwhile i suggest you forgive and move on

i think murder will be the case if i find out that my uncle's my real dad. no, i dont think i wanna go down that road. whaaaaaaaat! no no no, il just believe my dad's my real dad. no DNA's for me.

soul_glo: Can you get some DNA from your uncle? You might be his child.

hmmm,dont go there o cos i think my elder sis n his first child look alike alot. back then,people asked them a lot if they were siblings. i av never voiced this thought of mine to my sis ever. mehn, this stuff is messed up.

dayleke: Sorry about that bro.,
I will suggest asking/confronting her so you can move ahead with your life...


PS;On another news,what led to your dad's demise?
How did he die?just asking?

old age i guess. he was 76 at d time of death. he was the eldest amongst his siblings.

modextus: What's bad if he confronts her..nursing serious issues like this bugs me like crazy, most especially when i get to see the person in question like always...

Let it out bro

tnx o. but its not gonna be easy at all

Ralphlauren: do you know the circumstances and what led to their relationship?

do you know if he was blackmailing her or something?

do you know if she was happy while married to your dad?

do u mean such kinda behaviour is acceptable given some circumstances? lemme mention that he was married with kids at that time.
i dont want a public show of shame or anything of the sort, just a simple acknowledgement if her error n an apology cos it really affected me in ways u cant imagine.

Nashville: Bro,

The person that needed to know is no more, God will judge both your mum and uncle. He may have already started judging. They committed a sin against your dad and God and it was a long time ago. I will advice you to let it go. Pretend as if it never happened, I am sure your mum must be feeling guilty too, and you can see the result in the kind of relationship she has with your uncle. You and your sis should also try and forgive your mum, if you can and pray for yourselves. It will be well.

so we should just let her go like dat? wondering how she'l feel if she knew we were aware all this while. this days, she badmouths him at the slightest opportunity she gets. my sis n i jst roll our eyes n be like 'whatever'

pickabeau1: Wow.. this is the height of indiscetion by the mother in question ..

However you are an adult now, move on with your life

Confronting the issue may lead to more complications as you may still be under her roof

Get your own life on track

am no longer under her roof anymore. i know im an adult now buh it hurts each time i think about it. at the wedding ceremony of my elder, this same uncle acted as the father as our dad is no more. felt soooo outraged.

am in my mid 20s now

This is no super story o

It happened way way back when i was little a child. i remember seeing my mum n uncle naked together in bed.
popc usually left early for work n i noticed my uncle(popcs younger brother) would come around some hours later. often times, i'd be with mumc in her room n on her bed just chilling or making mischief but as soon as this uncle comes, he comes straight into her room,lures me with money to go buy babadudu(d black local candy then). when i return, i'd find out that mumcz room is locked n il be hearing voices suggesting something intimate is going on.
on a particular occassion, he came around but i'd slept off on mumcz bed,he wanted to wake me but she told him to leave me. unknown to them that i was wide awake n only pretending, they got down to their dirty business with me there. i could here the 'oooos' n 'aaaaaaaas'. they finished n he left.
thinking i was the only child that knew about it, i kept it to myself until recently when i was gisting about it with my sister. she was shocked cos she never knew that i was aware also. i wanted to confront mumc but she told me to chill saying er should let sleeping dogs lie.
now my dad is late n the relationship btw mumc n my uncle is very frosty, sometimes i wonder how they managed to mess around then.
d matter keeps bugging me anytime i remember cos i wonder if that abominable act of those days is to blame for a whole lot of issues we facing presently like delayed marriages,stagnation n d likes.


im sorry if this is too long(trust me,i summarised it) but il love candid advice. should i let it go or confront mumc to confess?