₦airaland Forum

*She starts nagging unusually complaining about EVERYthing about you ,  your haircuts, your dress sense, your perfume ,  'so who is she comparing you to  ?'

*She suddenly changes her fashion style, e.g new set of  undies, which you've have effortless tried to change in d past ,  if she's doing it for you she would be more closer to you not distant ,  'so who is she trying to impress ?'

*She suddenly stops being clingy, and gradually reduces conversations length over the phone, d usual daily complaints about her boss,  ,  'so who else  does she chat with so late in the night which initially was your special SLOT ?'

*She doesn't ask for your masculine support anymore,  she never calls u to replace her blown bulbs, faulty electronics, car faults , or calls u round to fix those silly little dosmestic chores which you know she is capable of fixing right anyway but only finding an excuse just to have you around ,  'so has she suddenly turned into a super-independent king-kong?'

and,  she calls you another man's name in the hit of a hot argument/conversation,   Ofcourse it's not a new colleague!!! 

@chinani , I also learnt from your words , u said it all , RESPEKT !!!

two hearts in love are designed to beat together as one not far apart , Some situations are inevitable but one has to try d very best to bridge the distance , Loneliness is always the initial reason behind every broken once Loving relationships , None of the parties never plans to break off but one thing always lead to another when your partner is far away and you have a friend who is an opposite sex , Emotions can just somehow be uncontrollable, distance broke the relationship between my ex-boyfriend even though we tried to make it work , though now it's under control but circumstancially it's too late , I am in another relationship now , distance again, but I 'm not making the same mistake again , I would give up even my comfort, to be with him, it's not about doubt of trust or love but it's just nature ,

ekitikete:
It is an aberration and against societal norm of good practise for a man to be dependent on his woman for his needs especially in our neck of the wood. But, it is not uncommon to find scores of men doing that. So in the final analysis, the moral imperative should be left to the woman to ponder over.

Meaning ??, Vocab plenty !!!

mamaput:
Beyonce
I just readwhat you wrote again .
What you what to say is that a child without a father is not fit to live?
Am also raising my kids alone should i have poisoned them the day i got devoiced or given them away.?

@mamaput, Could u patiently re-read and digest what I wrote pls ?  do not let us confuse poor Banke the more at this stage , I never stated that a child with no father has no future but for God's sake, the child in question is UNBORN and this lady has to move on happily with no BAGGAGES or horrible memories of this lying  cheat , why should she choose to be a single mother right from a stage where she can still decide and plan  , with all due respect I am very sure you were happily married at a stage b4 things unfortunately went sour , she has a right to a blissful marital life too, not all men are bastards anyway, it's good for her to have discovered this now , may be it's just nature's way of warning her that there is a better man waiting out there , one more thing , most ladies b4 getting married pray so hard to God to give them their ordained husband,but when God intervenes and reveal hidden habits of the man we are actually planning to marry based on our fleshy decisions , then,  , we start  twisting, finding reasons and excuses for this exposed man , what a shame ,

4real:
@beyonce1 well i guess this is the last time i reply the message, i told you we had sex to let you know that all is well with us, to say am smart you are right, if i was not i would not be where i am right now in life, and i thank God for that, secondly you can never be more wrong, as to how i feel about her, maybe you don't know how story so i would lay it down for you to hear, she is a year old than i am, she has a wonderful kid from another person and to top it all she is Ijebu, well all that does not matter to me, alot of people have told me to really think about it, and i love her and want to send the rest of my life with her, age is nothing but a number, the child, well i can be a father a early as possible( ) if i don't love her i would have broken up a long time ago, in relationships people have problems and if i dump every girl i have a problem with then am a white man, who would go thur life with as many as 10 wifes, as for what happened, the lady is question is my good friend as always been and will always be, the lady in question has a boyfriend of about 6 years, and as for the situation repeating it's self, i don't think so, you know in a way i don't think you are African cause if you are, you would help us to but the problem or help us solve them, in africa we don't run away from problems like the white man, we sit down to solve it or look for a way to put an end to it. mostly if the two parties are involved.

OOOOOOoooooooooops !! I didn't realize how strong this was , O.K , DO LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER

banke:
reading your advice is the only hope i have, am 2 months gone, i have called my G.P to arrange a D&C or what do you suggest?

Banke issues of this sought needs to be looked into not only for 2day ,  but 4  future purpose,  if I was in your situation I would want to drop my past and move on to a better new life not carry on with the memories for the rest of my life, and mind you from generation to generation,  I mean if u had wanted 2 be 100% holy u wouldn't have slept with d boy before marriage anyway,  I do not believe an early abortion is killing ,  It is an unwanted pregnancy,  an early stage blot clott ,  which still has d tendency of being shed as a normal period,  Things can never remain the same with u both NATURALLY again,  so why bring an innocent child into this? I think the victim here would be the unborn child who would suffer all the consequences and this would be the greatest sin 'because it goes on ,  Life goes on if u leave this boy, u need to cut all the attachments so u can be free ,  everyone has a right / choice to a lifetime joy,  why should u give your baby up for adoption or turn into a single parent ? disabled, for the rest of your life all because of an irresponsible/unreliable man,   it's all a matter of a decision on time,  and,  you'll get over it, time heals and,  just be honest about it,  Would this be your first abortion ?

Hey !  Hey!! Hey!!! ,  @idiot & @mochafella NA WA 4 ALL THESE PHOTOSHOPPERS O !what's is all these argumentative modifications classiffications all about ? are you guys BIDDING for d ride  ?

YANK HIS GODDAMN ASS TO DA KERB . He doesn't deserve forgiveness ! he is a dog ! I'm sure he wouldn't mind your momma either ,  and 4 your sister keep away from her 4 now , allow her conscience (if it's still functioning ) to punish her.

Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen! The girl looks HORRIFIED ! TERRIFIED !  SCARED ! FRIGHTENED! AFRAID ! what a HORREDIOUS , APPAULING. BABARIC, GORRILIC, CHIMPAZEEEEEEIC  SIGHT    !!!,

@4real , ha ! ha !! ha!!!, Why do u sound so bitter ? it's not about trying to separate you but just to let advise her to BEWARE and love with her eyes WIDE open , once bitten twice shy , so SHE doesn't fall into total deppression when d situation repeats itself also what difference does it make if u've just had sex anyway, SEX I believe is not d best way to sort out diferences most especially INFIDELITY, she needs to watch you prove and establish d trust & sincere love back 2 her , girl 'watch it, he sounds like a real sugar coated bloke who thinks he can eat his cake and still have it ! also he is so SMART enough to believe he has the charm and magic to make you rely on every word he says while he waves his wand , wrapping u up his fingers, AND ALSO TO MAKE YOU CLOSE YOUR EARS TO OTHERS whe n u r being told d truth !, SEX is not an apology's LANGUAGE!!

4real:
well @beyonce1 i said that if you think that the waiting game will help you to know who is Mr. right and who is notk, then you have got another thing coming, or should i say you are wrong, cause most boys would wait for you, what am saying is that it does not matter if you say yes today or you say yes next year, if the boy wants to hit and run , he would hit and run, but if you behave like an African Queen, then he could change his mind, 90% of the time we do, you can it been a slave, well if you want to use the word, i guess you stay in london, fine you can stay there and be the master in your house and if the white man leaves you after 3 months, don't cry, what am saying is here in Nigeria, it is not looked upon as a slave, she is taking care of her husband and her family, i have a friend his wife woman, sends her daughters to their husbands house with a full kitchen i mean every thing in the kitchen, please if your husband ever comes to Nigeria, ask him not to come to calabar, cause he is a gone man, what you consider to be a slave Job, is what they would do for him, they would make him fill like a king and believe you me, he won't be coming back home again, so sister instead of loosing a very good brother to another girl, be his slave, and let him be your king, do things for each other, so if any other person wants to do it for him , he remembers that he has an African Queen at home, and would always come back home to your hands

well Mr African 4REAL ,  don't get me wrong here,  I'm not saying a lady should not be domestic,  mind u it's all about d waiting game isn't ? why should I waste my good qualities on a man who wants 2 HIT and RUN,  thinking that I could bait him or make him change his mind? if he truly loves me he'll wait till I'm mentally ready , besides not all men are good in bed anyway,  I once dated this boy whom I did not sleep with for one SOLID year, sincerely I did not cheat on him at all ,  and eventually when I did phew!! he was rubbish ! soft erection, two minutes noodles ! I was so disappointed that it wasn't worth d wait,  a man might think it's hit & run while d lady doesn't want 2 stay either,

4real:
well you people read the rest of the thread before you post replies. oh my God, how many people do i have to tell, you just don't jump into threads

whatevvvvvvvvvvverrrrrrrr !!!, she asked 4 advice, she gets the truth, just why da hell are you trying to divulge from the topic? hiding huh ? this explains it would repeat itself in da near future ,

Rhodalyn:
net men aint the best you've already wasted too much precious time with him it's time for you to kick him out of your life now before he messes it up for you

Ye r right girl ! I support thee ! once a cheater always A 'CHEETAH' get da gist?,  u've got 2 kick an unfaithful guy 2 da kerb before he completely messes u up .!,

Grizzly:
Dont be calling men no parasites!! If a young lady's got nuff money, and a young man decides to latch on to her, wuts wrong in that? i mean she's not going to live alone, is she?

@grizzly, tell u what ? I repeat , I am not saying that it is right for a lady 2 be parasitic ! come to think of it, a man who falls a victim of this such a lady is either silly and blind , or doesn't mind cuz, he is either married and out there 4 fun or thinks he can buy luv, but the d topic is actually about men who lives off ladies, remember?

nubian:
If there are female parasites - why can't there be male parasites,

@nubian, this exactly is what i'm refering to, Men have Historically sold their birth rights to ladies , it's man who has no pride and natuarally LAZY that 'll agree with u,

the girl i have started seeing earns more than me so does that make me against the bible.
have to go and ask to borrow some money bye.

alj:
no way lady you just sound like a goldigga with a good excuse. can no one on the forum have a coversation with out quoting the bible where in the bible does it say" and God said to Adam make sure you can always buy your girl fine things and if you should fall on hard times do not expect her to help you out for she is just in this for an easy ride"

the girl i have started seeing earns more than me so does that make me against the bible.

have to go and ask to borrow some money bye.

@alj ,  Waooooooooh , this world has turned upside down ! so it is now normal and well accepted 4 a woman 2 earn more that her man and sometimes be the BREADWINNER ! Deep inside of you, can you confess that u do not sometimes feel intimidated or feel a pang of complex when it dawns on u that your lady earns more than u do ?,  I am not saying that a lady should not give a support but for christ sake ! A 'MAN' should naturally be the HEAD not vice-versa ! I am not a Golddigga I am a fully hardworking lady who believes if i'm oppportuned to hit millions my man should be destined 4 billons and not sit at the COMFORT zone !

@4real, what exactly do you want from your girl ? u can't eat your cake and have it ! initially u were saying a girl should't take her time in getting involved with a man, u referred 2 this as wasting her time while u 'll be the patient vulture waiting 4 d kill , then u expressed how much u desire 2 acquire a proper african queen who can cook, wash , be your slave, so and so , how would u have a heart/eyes wide enough to see all these qualities when all u initially had in mind was HIT AND RUN ? guys like u always have difficulty of achieving the right LADY, cuz they can never differentiate !!

Thanx IBB,  I wouldn't agree with the point that a lady pretends, why can't men be honest for once? according to my past experiences, all the guys who did the chasing proper b/4 I finally gave in, r the ones who still respects me till now and wouldn't even mind setttling down with me if I agree to,  Ladies don't minds these BOYSSSSS,  deep in there mind they know the truth !

A man is meant to be the provider, any man who spends his life living off women can never succeed naturally in life , it's ok for a woman to be financially dependent on her man or give some sort of support but if this is vice-versa then it's a curse, GOD also confirms this in Genesis, So "MEN", go out there, make money & provide for your lady if you want 100% respect/dignity from your lady , FULL STOP!!!.

4real, I honestly do not think you r real AT ALL , what do you know about a lady's mind ? If you just want an easy fling I'm sure you know where you need to go to, so u wouldn't really need to CHAAAAAAAAAAAAASE !!!

I am a lady who believes you must mean it when you say " I LUV U " from my personal experiences I've dated guys with an average of 2yrs each and never said those three words ,  While I only dated one in a shorter period and actually did,  you really need to reach into her to know what she actually feels about you ,  mind you a girl's heart is mostly the deepest,  so' people say,