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My Lecturer Wants to Fv*k me, But… There was this particular lecturer in my department when I was still in school. We all knew him to be a womanizer. He liked all kinds of women, young, old, fat, thin, tall, and short.Every girl in the department tried as much as possible not to get noticed by him. That means doing your assignment with others and coming to his classes on time so you don’t have to beg him to enter his class. One day, (I am sure it was because I didn’t pray that morning, it gave devil the opportunity to deal with me.) It started with waking up late for classes that day. When Irealized that it was this lecturer’s class we had, I just decided that I would miss the class. Only for my friend toping me that they were registering the man’s course. I quickly dressed up wore my deeper life gown, even white powder I didn’t rub that day and ran to class. By the time I got to the department, the man had already locked the door and took attendance. That was when I knew my village people swore for me that day. I waited till he finished teaching and joined the other latecomers to go to his office to beg him. Did I tell you that our lecturers each had their own office? Well furnished o! This particular lecturer even had extra seats and curtains. Maybe he normally held prayer sections in his office, who knows?I had already finished planning the lie I will tell the man, how I was very sick and just came from the school medical center. Am sure God was just watching me and my plans. (I already started with not praying now am about lie). We reached the man’s office and started begging him to please just let us register the course even if we will miss the attendance. The man acted like we were asking Buhari to legalize gay marriage. I made sure I was very invincible in the back of the crowd. The next thing I heard was “hey you at the back on glasses,come here” Shoo! I joined others to turn to see who he was talking to even though I knew that it was the wall I was turning to look at. One over-sabi girl just shouted my name “Chidinma, he is talking to you o” I just used my eyes to dissect the girl. I came closer and he gave me money and some paper to photocopy for him. In my mind I was hoping that he will allow me to register after going for the errands.I ran better than Usain Bolt that day, did the photocopy and came back. As I was getting closer to his office I noticed that my classmates were no longer there. I became sacred.I quietly knocked on his door and he asked me to come in.as I stepped in he asked me to close the door. Ah! Close door ke? I just murmured the devil is a liar. I banged the door but made sure it wasn’t locked. I moved closer to him and gave him the documents.He now asked me my name I quickly shouted the name my grandma gave me (I normally get angry when my siblings called me the name) “Sir, my name is Erinma” The next thing he asked me was “So who is eating this Bush meat you carrying around?” I quickly checked if I had mistakenly carried someone’s Bush meat when I went to do photocopy only to see I was carrying only my bag. “Sir, it’s just my hand bag am carrying o; there is no Bush meat here” “So you don’t know what I mean? You are trying to form form abi? “No o sir I honestly don’t know.” “Ok, then, who is enjoying this bush meat you are carrying in front of you. Which of the guys?” Oh! He was talking about breasties.I suddenly became dumb. And started calling on my ancestors and God at the same time to give me the wisdom he gave Solomon in the bible so I can I get out of this situation. “Sir nobody o” “Hmm, so when will you give me to enjoy?” In my mind I was calculating my fainting skills in cases anything happened. “Sir…. Sir” I suddenly became a stamarer.I was seriously praying and promising God to even becomes reverend sister if I can get out from here. It was like God or my ancestors’ sef saw that I had suffered enough and decided to intervene. He then asked me “where are you from” “Enugu” I replied “Where in Enugu?” Sir, Ezeagu” “Ah! Ezeagu, I heard they do juju very well” I shouted “Yes sir o!, they are very good at it. In fact, both my paternal and maternal grandparents are well known native doctors in the village. Even my dad was also one but recently converted.” See the lies jumping from my mouth like I was reciting National Anthem. “Hmmm, serious?” he asked looking almost sacred “Yes sir, you can ask around” I replied. He immediately brought out the registration booklet and told me to find my name and sign across it and leave his office I quickly took the book, signed my name and ran away.Since then the man doesn’t even answer my greeting and I made sure I escaped his wahala till I graduated. Read OAU Amphitheatre (The Ugly PHL 101 Experience) here http://biadefola.com.ng/2018/03/19/oau-amphitheatre-the-ugly-phl-101-experience/ |
E no go spoil for you my brother! this memoir nah dope crack! |
welldone bro, remain fly sir! |
Nabeelah (An Islamic Love Story) Ep. 4 Episode 4 I felt a sharp pain in my heart and the dream was terminated, By the time I become conscious, it was not in my room, the whole scene was blur, but I see two things in front of me, I can’t tell if there human or angels, they are in full white – the dream was the last thing I remembered. Am I dead? Could this be heaven? Is it true that angels are in white as they were being showed in Nollywood? But am sure Munkar and Nakir can’t be as thin as these things am seeing. ”Nurse, please go and inform the doctor that he is now conscious” Abdur Rahmaan said. Alhamdullilah, I am in the hospital not in the grave, I can now see that the two people in whites were nurses. I can also see Nabeelah, fatimah and Abdur Rahmaan. ”How are you feeling now?” nabeelah asked I looked at her beautiful face but I am too weak to give her a reply ”Leave him, let him rest” the other nurse said ”salam alaykum wa rahmatulah, how is your health, Hope nurse jumoke took good care of you” Nabeelah said when she entered with her friend fatimah. She didn’t wait for me to answer a question before asking another, I managed to reply her tasleem and ‘Alhamdullilah’to answer the rest “Alhamdullilah” they cheered, they were happy that I could talk. Fatimah placed her hand on my forehead and said ”We have brought you a delicious food, I cooked it”. I don’t know what she meant by telling me she cooked the food, placing her hand over my head also angered me but I can’t show the anger in my current state. Even nabeelah that I was planning nikkah with, she never touch me and she had never allow me to touch her. Apart from being weak, knowing that fatimah cooked the food could not let me eat well; I don’t like that girl, she is an extrovert but would want to portray herself as introvert. But, am less concerned with her attitude. I ate the little i could eat and left the remaining. ”You better eat well now, very soon the nurse will be here to shook your bum-bum” nabeelah joked. ”How did I get here?” I asked. Nabeelah didn’t answer at first, and I asked her the second time. She said ”I don’t really know what happened, your friend called me to come here, he said that you were in the state of unconsciousness.” ”The doctor said that you were having blood disorder, though we don’t know what he meant by that, but Alhamdullilah, you are now responding to treatment” fatimah added. I already know what was happening to me but I won’t tell nabeelah until after nikkah. Alhamdullilah, akanni boy is fit again and the strike in our school was over. I just finished in the class and about to go home when my phone rang, it was Fatimah that called. Me: hello, sis fatimah, salam alaykum. fatimah: wa alaykum ssalaam, where are you?, Come to our house now! Me: what happened? Fatimah: Nabeelah had been sitting down here crying since. Me: crying? What happened? Fatimah: She told me in the morning that she’s going to the hospital to collect the result of the test she did. Me: what test is that? Fatimah: She didn’t tell me either; She had been holding the result while crying bitterly, she didn’t allow me to look at the result, but I guessed it is either Pregnancy test or HIV test *** ” Hey, ja’far, don’t move any closer, our nikkah won’t be possible again” she said crying. My heart begin to beat faster ” What is this girl saying?” ”Is it true that she contacted HIV?” ‘‘How will she contact HIV?.” ”Or is she pregnant?” ‘‘How can she be pregnant, when no one had touched her?” ”Is it the pregnancy of holy spirit” ” or this girl had been pretending to be chaste all these while” ”What will happen to all our nikkah preparation now?” ” Ja’far, you are a wicked soul, I just believed the fact that wickedness of a serpent cannot be compared to that of a man” Nabeelah said crying. I was surprised by… to be continued Episode 5: http://biadefola.com.ng/2018/03/26/nabeelah-an-islamic-love-story-ep-5/ |
IgbosAreOsus:OSU is a university, formerly Ogun State University now OOU, Olabisi Onabanjo University, I never attended the school so I don't share their frustration |
Tobycharles:With you, yeah. |
ZionJay:What if Zion is not Jay but only Okocha is? |
omojesu202:Since you're omojesu why not go see your daddy and talk to him... Pray for the ability to fix your life before burdening yourself with other's |
ericsmith:Womanology, this one weak me o ![]() |
Ayoshewa12:Alhamdulillah |
Lipscomb:Aktually, if you think it thoroughly, to smoke weed, I would have to turn the weed to a fish so that it can be properly smoked like a smoked fish... or is that why yoruba thugs call weed eja? |
It is true. the chopper almost crashed but Jack Baur rescued it! |
He went to Manure to win UCL and didn't. |
What if all of this was a dream, Nigeria, the leaders we've had, the problems we encountered, what if everything is a dream, what if the op is actually Akeredolu himself and he's a Palestinian? what if? |
Episode 3 In a few minutes a sister appeared and Abd. Rahmaan informed me that she was nabeelah, I almost fainted because the sister was as fat as madam cash, her face had a slight difference from the face of a former president of Nigeria, with her cheeks designed with six bold stripes of tribal marks, I was stunned and couldn’t stop my mouth from saying ”You fought a lion?”, she smiled because she thought I joked – then I knew the meaning of Abd. Rahmaan’s statement when he said ”wetin you see for dah kind girl body” – I knew it’s a mere co- incidence because the girl also introduced herself as Olayiwola Nabeelah I quickly explained myself to her that it was a mix up and apologised to her for taking her time. – Aye le oo. Dizziness came, I knew that I must pay the debt I owed sleep, Abd. Rahmaan took me to the school’s masjid where I slept. I didn’t wake until it’s time for Salatul Dhur. After Salaah, Abd. Rahmaan was about to see me off when my eyes just came across the jewel I have been searching for, Brighter than the sun – The real Nabeelah finally appeared but she hadn’t observe salaah, she rushed in to the masjid for salaah. I called the attention of my friend and he was surprised he said : ” I knew her very well, she was among the muallimah teaching sister’s Qur’an in the campus, But I don’t know her as nabeelah, we call her Ummul khayr” I was extremely happy, I felt like a person given a free ticket to jannah from Dunya. After several minutes of waiting, she finally came out and I approached her. ”Alhamdullilah, to be sincere bro. Ja’far, you are really funny – I do appreciate your love for me because there are so many ladies out there, May Allah love you too. But am very sorry to tell you that am not ready for Nikkah, my nikkah will be after my education, and I know that you understand the ruling of relationship in Islam. Am very sorry sir!” Nabeelah replied. Her reply almost made me faint but seeing my reaction, I knew she pitied me and she continued ”But if you won’t mind, there is another face to this coin. If you can wait for me to finish my education ”loving the person that doesn’t want to see you could also be regarded to as disaster” Imam shafii said. That was my fate in my waiting period, But since that is the other face to the coin, two years is not too much – I have to wait. Distasrous was the conditions she gave for the waiting period; I must not try visiting her and I must not try communicating with her through any means, any attempt to foil those conditions will destroy our plan. A day my eyes were suffering from the hunger of her face and I made up my mind to see her. I am not a fan of MSSN and I neither participate in their programmes nor attend their lectures, but just to see the face of my angel, I attended her school’s jihad week finale but I didn’t see her until the program came to an end. When I saw her face, I reversed my intention of greeting her, I realised letter B that starts BEAUTY also starts BEAST, her face is more than a beast’s in anger mood, she frowned like a whiteman that suffered from the fart of an African man – Strong aqeedah is frustrating at times, I ran for my life. Very soon the waiting period was over, Nabeelah will be mine any moment from now, I am now free to talk to her but it would be in the presence of her friend, Fatimah. Our plan for nikkah started fully. My parents are already aware of my intention to get married; I just have to take nabeelah to them for approval, But her parents Insists she must finish her HND programmes before thinking of marriage and every attempt to persuade them proved abortive. I wonder why nowadays parents won’t approve the marriage of a 22 years old girl and they will allow her to have boyfriends, little did they know that they will have share in her sin when she commits Zina. Umar R.A said: ”Marry out your children when they reach puberty and do not carry their sins”. There was a man in my neighbourhood that always says: ” My daughter won’t get married until she reaches the ripe age of 28” and the particular girl he’s talking about had aborted 3 pregnancies for Prof. Abiola before she became 20. I knew Nigerian ruqyah can’t deliver the man, He should receive his Ruqyah from Sudais and Shuraym. After so much prayer and fasting, Nabeelah’s parents finally agreed, and our Nikkah preparation commenced fully. On a cold night, I saw myself and Nabeelah in a dream, we were playing in a beautiful garden. ” You know I didn’t test any of your ability before I agree to marry you” she said ”yes” ” I will give you a brain ability test now, I you pass the test; I am fully yours but If you fail; we will cancel all our nikkah preparations” ” go on” I agreed (readers should also try the test) She asked me to pronounce ”SILK” six times and I did, she also asked me to spell it, ”S-I-L-K” – I pronounced. She asked ” what do cows drink?” ”Milk” I quickly answered. She laughed and said ” you are wrong, cows don’t drink milk, they drink water. You are a dullard, I can’t marry you” I felt a sharp pain in my heart and the dream was terminated, By the time I become conscious, it was... to be continued Episode 4 http://biadefola.com.ng/2018/03/23/nabeelah-an-islamic-love-story-ep-4/ |
Saphire, Saphire! God will finally heal you, I hope it does not get too late then |
dupelomo777:Jide |
Uthman2senior:Sir, you have to follow it bit by bit... I'm promoting my blog with the stories I drop here. To follow Nabeelah check www.biadefola.com.ng update drops except on weekends. Thanks. |
Feanah:Inshallah, I will update tomorrow morning. But episode 3 is already in the link provided. Mashallah |
NABEELAH Episode 2 My heart skipped a beat when I heard she memorized the Qur’an, and my will to get her waxed stronger. But my second mind was telling me that she might not accept me because she was appearing to be better than me in every aspect, she’s got a stronger aqeedah and also memorized the Qur’an. ”She got admission to The Polytechnic, Ibadan last year” the woman revealed. At last I got her, I am a student of University of Ibadan which was very close to the polytechnic, though we are on strike but I must get back to school, getting her there will be very easy. ”Mummy, one of my friends just called me now that we must meet one of our lecturers tomorrow, I must travel to Ibadan, very early tomorrow morning” I announced Abdul rahmaan could also be regarded as sunnatic, he was my intimate friend at secondary school, we both chose U.I and Poly Ibadan on our jamb form, while I was admitted into U.I, he got admitted to Poly Ibadan and he’s popular among Muslim brothers on campus, his popularity will help in the searching. ”A friend in need is a friend indeed” they say. so, I solicited for his help, he was not ready to help at first because it seemed childish and immature to him, It took time to explain what love is to him, he later agreed and pledged to help. My director of strategy – Prof. Abiola told me he’s fed up with the search and advised me to quit and find someone else, I refused to quit but he quitted. The boss was gone and I felt like am in an aeroplane without pilot but Allahu Musta’an. Grrrrrghhh — my phone rang, it was Abd. Rahmaan. Me: shaykh, salaam alaykum Abd. Rahmaan: wa alaykum ssalaam, Kayf? Me: Alhamdullilah Abd. Rahmaan: Akhi, you said her surname was olayiwola abi? Me: Yes, Exactly! Abd. Rahmaan: You won’t believe it, I found her today Me: wow, Masha Allah, Alhamdullilah Abd. Rahmaan: but am sorry oo, wetin you see for dah kind girl body Me: Forget about that, you cannot understand – na me know her value Abd. Rahmaan: I don talk to her sha, let’s meet in the school library tomorrow by 10 a.m. Me : No yawa, Jazaakumullah khayr, Am really grateful I couldn’t sleep that night, I was thinking of what her response would be after listening to my talk. Will she refuse a tall handsome guy with pink lips like me? – Never! Alhamdullilah, she won’t know that I don’t have six packs. I started to rehearse my talk and I prayed to Allah for eloquence, the Dua of Musa came to my mind and I started to murmur it till fajr ”Rabbi Ishrah li sadrii…”. Those dark eight hours are longer than one thousand months, they were the longest of my life. Punctuality is the key to success, I arrived at the school premises around 9:30 a.m., I called Abd. Rahmaan and we met in the school library, we exchanged pleasantries but he noticed that I was impatient. He exclaimed ” Oko iyawo, wetin dey do you like”, I told him am in haste to see the sister. He phoned and assured me to calm down. In a few minutes a sister appeared and Abd. Rahmaan informed me that she was nabeelah, I almost fainted because… to be continued Episode 3 : http://biadefola.com.ng/2018/03/22/nabeelah-an-islamic-love-story-continued-2/ |
honourable356:They rarely are sir! |
Mizsylviah:You should know I can't share you with nobody! |
heryoub22:inshallah |
Nabeelah (An Islamic Love Story) By Mubaarak Olayemi Ismail (Aboo Muhsinah) EPISODE 1 Only if my mum knew how popular I am on Facebook, she won’t be sending me to buy maggi at the next street. Anytime I am at home for holiday, my mum would want to prove herself as an authoritarian mother no matter how old I am, she would send me petty things like locust bean, onion, salt etc. But I never felt irritated by those errands because I knew it’s just for a little time, very soon I will be back to school, and I depict a good character to her during my stay. Umm Zainab is a friend to my mum, she sells food stuffs in a small shop in the next street, and my mum sent me to buy Maggi from her. ”Akanni – oko mi – ba mi ra maggi N50 wa lodo Umm Zainab” ”oooohhh, mummy – I dey chat with my bestie nah, buh lemme quickly go” I only understand 3 sentences in Hausa language, anytime I am at home, I rehearse those sentences with a Mallam beside umm Zainab’s shop. -” Ta yaya ne za ka? ” ina lafiya” he replied – me game de iyali ” lafiya” he replied As I was about to say the last sentence, I noticed that Umm Zainab was not the person sitting at her shop; Umm Zainab uses Niqab but the person I was seeing was using khimar I saw that the lady’s eyes were on a Moshaf she held, who could she be? If I ask the Mallam about her, the person will hear because the Mallam can’t speak Yoruba except he shouts while I only understand those three sentences, nothing more. But my mind told me that she must be Nabeelah, because I was told that Umm Zainab only gave birth to two females and I know Sis. Zainab very well. I gazed at her for the first time, then I tried to lower my gaze afterwards but ‘the gaze was not lowering’ – I knew her beauty was now the controller of my gaze. What if I see beyond her face, what could have happened? ” This must be a masterpiece of hoor el eyn of Jannah” ” This should be the end to my ultimate search for a wife material” I looked down to my trousers, I saw that I am still maintaining my nisful zaak, – ”In the presence of no beard, this should entice a good muslimah” – I said to myself I was carried away by these thoughts, I didn’t know when the hausa man left me to attend to his customers I moved directly to Umm Zainab’s shop. ”As – salaamu alaykum” I pronounced the ”shaddah on the siin” and the consonant letter ”ayn” very well, for her to know that I am not just a Muslim, but a steadfast one. She looked at me and answered, ” wa alaykumu ssalaam” – what do you want sir? My head rang three times upon hearing the manner she replied the tasleem, she even respected me by adding ‘sir!’, she eliminated my belief that girls dressed in khimar don’t respect people. I noticed that throughout the moment I spent there, she only looked at my face when she answered tasleem, she lowered her gaze afterwards. My mind told me; ”hey guy! Her aqeedah is stronger than yours, don’t mess up” She gave me what I wanted to buy and my mum’s mission was completed, I was about to start my personal mission when her mum appeared from nowhere. ”Ja’far, bawo ni, mummy nko?” she said. ”Alhamdullilah, ma” I said. She faced her daughter and she started to discuss with her, from their discussion, I discovered that Nabeelah was leaving for school the next day. ”Mummy, I must get to the park before 7 a.m.” Nabeelah said. Upon hearing what she said, my heart skipped a beat, I began to think about how to propose to her, because if I missed her at that particular moment, I might miss her forever and I couldn’t talk in the presence of her mother. I was determined to try my possible best before she leaves the next day. *** “Hey, let’s stop the pillow fight” I surrendered ” “then, come and carry me to the sitting room” – Nabeelah said playfully I don’t want her to call me a lazy cat again and I don’t want to carry her, so I quickly raised the issue of her hair. ”dearie, but I remembered you telling me in the evening that you wanted to undo your hair” I announced ” Oya, let’s do that now” –Ay alal falaah— ”Nabeelah, what is it by the time, I guess someone is playing with the masjid’s microphone — As salaatu khayru mina nawm—- Now, I realized I was dreaming since, ”this girl won’t break my head” I said to myself. – Alhamdullilah ladhi ahyaana ba’da ma amatana wa ilahin-nushoor It is 7:47 a.m. now, I felt like a part of me is missing, I said to myself ”Emi ikoyi eso, Iwaju ni baba wa fi n gbota – I must not accept defeat, I must find her by all means” I grew up with Abiola on the street, but we call him Prof. Because he’s a professional when it comes to asking ladies out; he’s got different styles and methods that any lady can never resist. No matter how strict a lady is, Prof will get her by all means But I broke ties with him when I embraced Sunnah because zina is easier with him – But I need to call him now, he’ll be happy to help Me: Olayiwola is their surname, why can’t we search for her name on Facebook? Prof: There will be many Olayiwola Nabeelah on Facebook, except if we can get her other name. Me: It is like this Facebook stuff won’t work because girls of her type don’t usually use their other names on Facebook, they are like Shareefah Ideal Muslimah, Zaynab StrivingMuslimah, Dhikrah Laughing Muslimah, she maybe Nabeelah Beautiful Muslimah, please let’s find another means. Prof: I got some good ideas, I know this will work, lend me your ears……. ”Umm, have you heard about the x2 promo the network providers are giving out to their customers?, once you dial the code, your main balance will be doubled ” Ha, children of nowadays, please before you deliver what your mum sent you, quickly help me with the code” Umm Zainab said I quickly collected her phone and searched through the contact list, But Alas! There was nothing like Nabeelah there, only Allah knew what she used to save the number, or maybe Nabeelah didn’t own a phone. –PLAN FAILED ”Umm, the code didn’t work out for your sim” I said as I return her phone ”Maybe it is for special customers She guessed An Idea struck my mind, I have to use the opportunity ‘‘Lest I forget ma, how was your daughter’s journey?” I inquired ”Alhamdullilah, she just called me that she arrived safely ” But Umm, I have never seen her before ”Yes, she grew up in Ile-Ife, where she completed her secondary and Hifdh education” ”So, you meant she is an haafeedhah?’ ”Yes” My heart skipped a beat when… to be continued. Episode 2 http://biadefola.com.ng/2018/03/21/nabeelah-an-islamic-love-story-continued/ |
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bimberry1307:I will definitely call on you for the next trip! Thanks! |
Bad biness! Wehdon boss! By the way, I don start to dey feature this story on my blog as you permitted O... I gave the credit to SHEIKSHEGETTO since ah no know Baba's full name o http://biadefola.com.ng/2018/03/20/memoirs-of-yoruba-demon/ |
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,, opportunity come but ones.. womanology 101 ,,neva turn down a puna except she get HIV/AIDs. 
what are you saying are you smoke weed.