₦airaland Forum

Tnx God bless u.

Tnx 4d wondaful advice 4rm matured minds and sincere people. But 2b honest, some say wat they say because they are not married or commitment means nex 2 notin 2 dem. No woman deserves dis kind of treatment. Its terrible 2 beg ur hsbnd 4 moni 2 buy sanitary pads and d only phrase u hear is "I don't hav moni". A man dat can help others get jobs and not 4 his wife has a problm. My friend has gone bak and I can tel u dat some of u were so helpful. And 4 those of u making mouth don't pray 2 b in a helpless situatn as dis.

bibiji234@gmail.com

Is it possible 2 get d tins 2 Jos? Am interested

MMotimo: Don't know how many times this issue comes up in this section but I will say what I have always said. Culturally, Nigerian women, especially Southerners have been raised to believe that you have to bring in an income in order for your spouse and his family to respect you. Never mind that you have abused women with full time jobs.

A lot of people think staying at home makes it more likely your husband will abuse you. Please, spend time on courtship, know whom you are marrying. If hes going to be an abuser, chances are, you will see signs if you spend enough time in courtship. A very small minority of men can change overnight into monsters but that is not the norm. By the way, be careful that you, the wife, do not change into something the guy did not bargain for. If you were the saving type before he married you but afterwards, suddenly develop a taste for keeping up with the Joneses, that would not be fair to him.

Staying home (usually the woman in African settings) is a lifestyle choice and is determined by affordability and trust. I bolden this because for most people, it's not affordable but that does not mean you disparage others who can afford the choice. Above all, it should always be a joint decision and like most things in life, subject to change if it is not sustainble. No point doing it if one partner resents the other partner staying home or if it is not an affordable choice for your family

If the working partner's income is not sufficient to finance household expenses, you probably should not opt for it. When I say expense, that includes aso ebi, your Brazillian weaves, owambe parties, vacations, clothing, etc and any financial assistance to relatives/friends on both sides. I may be able to run my household on N50000.00 a month but maybe yours runs on $8000.00 per month. The same question still applies - can the working partner sustain the expenses? If so, for how long and at what cost?

At this point, I must say that if you don't have direct access to the income earner's accounts/earnings, if your assets and liabilities are not in joint names, then you should probably not stay home. Already, there's a comma in the situation if only one party makes and controls the financial decisions. In order for it to be successful, there has to be trust on both sides and each side should be comfortable with the other's spending habits.

Life insurance policies are available in Nigeria, same as in the West. It is called insurance in case the unexpected happens, fear of death should not mean you can't stay home and raise your kids if that is your family's desire. Sadly, the vast majority of Nigerian women that work, still have no net worth to show for it. It is still the constant hand to mouth, keeping up with the Joneses, dodging randy bosses at work who derive joy from chopping another man's wife.

Why are you staying home? For the vast majority, it's to raise their kids. For a few, it's simply a preference. If your spouse is fine with it and you can both make it work, do not let the mischievous sow discord in your home by calling you names.

If part of your self worth is tied to your career or how much money you make, it's probably not a good idea. For some people, working is not about money but about self worth/esteem
If you are going to miss the workplace environment, you should probably just keep working. If you are going to feel embarrassed and useless because you are not working, then keep working.

A much as possible, let your value system be based on experiences, not on acquisitions. I tell you, life becomes so much simpler once it's no longer just about acquisitions. Focus on building NW while at the same time, building your children (those that make the choice for kids).

Finally, yes, I stayed home for a couple of years, in Naija and in the West. I work now, because our kids are much older/independent and household expenses have grown. My extended family do not pry in my business so I didn't have to explain to anybody but I know it took a lot for my Mum not to say anything. She started working at 18 and only retired when she had a solid gold pension and left with a sizable package. If she were dead, she might have turned in her grave, she drummed career mum into me at an early age.

I stayed home but I have always had access to everything my husband has/earns and vice versa. I am that wife that knows where everything is and whose husband will "sign here" without a second glance because of mutual trust. It doesn't matter which gender plays the lead financial role, trust is non-negotiable when it comes to money, epecially for a Naija couple.

Tnx dear, I can c my friend smiling, I guess u've given her food 4 tot.

@dayokanu she lost her mom in her secondary sch.days and she is left wit an aged and old and sick father that she cannot afford to help in any way. She said when she asked 4 capital 2 start a biz, he said d home front wil suffer because she wil neglect her family.

@dayokanu this friend of mine doesn't mean d hsbnd should do d job hunting. According 2 her d offers she got d man kicked against them. Now help get a job 4 her tru his highly placed friends he told her dat no one got one 4 him. If she shd pik her credentials and start job hunting, who wil look after d kids owing 2d fact dias no one 2 stay @ home wit d kids or cater 4 them after sch.

My best friend in d univ jst arived my home with her marital problems seeking advice 4rm me on what to do. Iam nt sure on what 2 tel her and I suggestd 2 her 4us 2 use dis forum 4 help. Here's her story: She has bin married 2 her hsbnd 4 d past 10years wit 3 adorable kids. She graduated wit 2.1 in ICT and d man refused 2 help her in job search. She then decided 2 go 4 Msc, she was offered admission and the hsbnd refused her going. She askd d man 2 place her on monthly allowance 4 her upkeep, that also he rejectd. The house chores was becoming too much 4 her and requestd dat they employ a nanny, he turned down d request. According 2 her what worried her most was when her younger broda dropped by after passing out 4rm NYSC camp 2 go home, d hsbnd refused 2 giv him transport fare. To cut long story short, she is not allowe 2 even attend family functions like weddings. She stays indoor and not allowed 2 visit anyone. She has become so depressed of late and d doctor adviced dat she stays away 4rm d stressors causing depression. Her question 2 me which am also throwin 2d house, should she file 4 a divorce or continue wit d marriage? She said she has become so short tempered and violent even 2d kids and dat alone is unbearable. Pls we need urgent response as she has only 2days 2 spend wit me. Tnx!

@sleekjd how was he contacte? Via sms or email? Are they stil contacting successful candidates or is it over? Pls throw more light so dat we wil come 2 terms wit our fate on this. Tnx sis

DeCleff: Shut up and stop displaying ignorance on rampage. Winners Chapel are helping milions out there to live a good life by providing financial assistance and material needs.

Though i worship with Christ Embassy, i respect ministers of God, especially Papa Oyedepo. To me, Papa's wealth is just starting because he's not richer than Nigeria and God said His people shall lend to nations but they will never borrow.

So stop the hatred based on jealousness rather tap into the anointing & flow in an unending prosperity.

God blessed Isaac and he became richer than the Philistine's economy but instead of the philistines to tap into the grace working in Isaac, they envied him and asked him to leave their country.

Be Warned!

God bless u

God help us!

Aru u sure? We are becomin nervous and anxious. Pls anyone that has receivd d msg shd let us know d medium and content.

honeric01: A COUNTRY WITH 50% MUSLIMS, 40% CHTISTIANS ARE LAUGHING THAT SOME SET OF DIABOLICAL PEOPLE ARE AGAINST A PARTICULAR CANDIDATE?

I have always known it that Nigeria is a demonic country where evil rules and the people stylishly support evil doers.

CALAMITY WON"T STOP BEFALLING THIS COUNTRY AS LONG AS PEOPLE KEEP SUPPORTING ANYTHING THE KINGDPM OF DARKNESS IS SUPPORTING!

The witches and wizards are supporting Jonathan, yet foolish people expect a better life under him? When has witches/wizards ever supported good things?

where did u get ur stat frm? It is dis sort of assumption dat is makin dis islamic xtremists tink they ar majority and shd rule.

JstBrave: d N20120..... is your username.

tnx sis

Pls house help me out. The N20120..... Is dat d user name or pswd? I tried loggin in lyk 3 times and it locked me out. Pls how do I verify dis mess and check my status? I need urgent help plsssss

Baba maimongoro!

I wld hav voted gej jst like b4 if not 4 dis foolish amnesty d north and her leaders are pressurizing him 2 offer BH. A gud leader wil nt sacrifice d truth 4 personal ambition. I was a believer of gej until he made dis irrational decision. 4 nw dias no candidate 4 2015, let's jst wait as events keep unfoldin 2 no who d nex president wil b com 2015

immature and degenerated mind, God hav mercy on u!

Babzilla: SO TELL US MISTER SCRIPTURE!
TELL US WHAT GOD SAYS ABT VIOLENCE U FCKING DIMWIT!
OLEDEPO A$$ LICKER KEEP LICKING UR MASTERS A$$
DONT EXPECT OTHERS TO PEABRAINED F@GGOT

dorox: Free your mind from the prison of religious enslavement. Trust me, God will be very happy with you if you follow the example of Jesus in denouncing the greedy, narcissistic, blood sucking leech that is Oyedepo as Jesus denounced the pharisees.

u ar in no position 2 advice on spirituality because it is obvious u ar jst a church goer without indepth knowledge of scriptures. Dias no point wastin time on issues u certainly hav no understanding of. I rest my case!

money-hungry :
4 real?
am scared!

u ought to be!

nony30: My friend go and seat down somewhere and check how many life times Į̸̸̨ƭ will take ‎u τ̲̅ȍ acquire a private jet which ur so called prophet has more than one!!Prophet my 4UcK!hg foot!!!

in hw many lifetimes did he get his? If its a necessity d provisions wil b made available. Besides ur belief system doesn't change d fact dat he's called. I jst undastnd dat most of these nasty, irrational comments stems 4rm jealousy, no man can curse whom God has DANGEROUSLY blessed.

Oahray: *singing*
e-man-ci-pate yourself from mental slavery...

Last time I checked, Jesus said it's only "sinning against the holy spirit" that does not get forgiven. The way you guys worship your pastor is amazing.

nony30: My friend go and seat down somewhere and check how many life times Į̸̸̨ƭ will take ‎u τ̲̅ȍ acquire a private jet which ur so called prophet has more than one!!Prophet my 4UcK!hg foot!!!

in hw many lifetimes did he get his? If its a necessity d provisions wil b made available. Besides ur belief system doesn't change d fact dat he's called. I jst undastnd dat most of these nasty, irrational comments stems 4rm jealousy, no man can curse whom God has DANGEROUSLY blessed.

money-hungry :
the 'O'(oyedepo) @ d top needs to put winners group of companies in check.
him dey mad?.
o.p: next time u dey 4 church, pray dat d main OGA at d Top should punish dat dwarf, frog-eyed, bald- headed Oga at d top.
can i get an amen?!
offering time....

mind d way u talk! How dare u refer 2 him like that? U lack morals and 4d records no one insuts a prophet like dat and goes scotfree. Repent or u ar doomed! Haters

Usman212s: sentiment is attached to dis nta invitation.... Neither i no my north eastern friends received the invitation

I beg to disagree with u, am frm Adamawa but resident in Jos and stil got d invite.

Busbar: As anybody from north central received invitation? kogi state in particular.

Am in jos and i hav received d invite, pls check ur spam folder, saw mine their. Keep hope alive.

haryurmide: when did u get dat one?am still waitin 4 invite ooo.

today around 12noon

Another mail frm NTA, those without NYSC discharge certificate need not waste their time and resources to come for the aptitude test as they will not admitted. Those without NYSC certificates and exemption letters are not eligible for employment into federal public service.

I got d invite, pls check ur spam folder as well cos dats where I saw mine. Gudluck

It won't, and it wil giv it all d freshness u can tink of because d beans is nt soakd and stil giving ur moin moin d ability 2 thicken and swell.

D fastest way to peel off d back is by simply putting d beans in a mortar pour water to it and pound gently. Am certain abt dis because I make moin moin every saturday as breakfast 4d family. Try dis and u wil b amazed at how easy it is to wash off d bak. Try it and u wil certainly tank me 4 dis info.

House I jst got a txt frm mtn VIP-CARD that my number has bin assignd #60,000 credit and I need 2 log onto www.LOAD555.com, which I did.Now my concern is I hav 2 load #3000 airtime 2 claim #63000. Pls is dis real and has anyone gotten d same txt? Tnx

plsssssss we need an xtension.I just saw d thread. Tender justice wit mercy. My email johns_agnes@yahoo.com. God bless u!

Thanks for the clarification @Olsey. God bless you