₦airaland Forum

Lol.. This guy..
Hahahahaha



Don't forget that wives have been known to introduce their conubines as family members

Gbam!!

Don't forget kweku adoboli

HAH: My sister ure right but today if he does anything negative or infamous they will remember his roots.

Remember Michael Adebolajo and Adebowale that have never been to naija

Legacy of abandonment and years of neglect

All our athlethes run under other flags

Christine ohuruigu
Mary adeoye

Phillips idowu

Dem plenty

Afam4eva: So, apart from Okagbare, does Nigeria still have athletes? What happened to Obinna Metu? That guy had prospects. We can even manage the old Uchenna Emedolu, Olusobi Fasugba and co cos it seems Nigeria doesn't have male athletes any longer.

Now you get my point

@adaobi and hah it's not about refugee or not

As he is doing well now, he is british

If he does something criminal he will be called somalian

[quote author=ola_pluto]If Bolt was British The build up to this race would have started 3 weeks ago with daily footage of Bolt victories. British commentators are the best at bigging their athletes up. James Desaolu is a prime example. Some said he could win Bronze![/quote]

I'm sick of the british commentators

See them salivating over mo farah, ordinary somali refugee..

If he is caught with a bomb now, they will call him somalian

Muppets

If bolt was british, I will quit watching athletics

Jobodwana qualified for afrika

Yay

This kpas jogged to the end sha

Jobodwana of south afrika ran well in the olympics 200m

The bolt man about to run

The bolt comin up

Will they catch this guy one day

I no trust am again

Nigerian ogwero about to run

This bailey-cole na wa oo

All top ten athletes in the 100m bar dasoaolu and bolt have been involved in one drug incident or the other

Personally I don't rust any athlete, swimmer anymore

Even tour de france cyclists sef

Na waooooo

Those who deign to post with mere mortals know themselves

Chilisauce.... As youve rightly noted.. people should state their opinions freely.....there's nothing to be said further now...

Yes.. she may go scot free in the court of Man

But there is a court higher than that.,.. your conscience and God

Karma.. dey kampe


We dey we dey hol our side.....

have a nice weekend

kulyie: well even if shes sued to court and she gets a good lawyer with prayers,she will likely win the case because she did not use her hands or arms like gun etc to kill her,so i wont really classify that as murder




i dey jare i don miss you.how mrs biola and little biolas,shey everything is fine

@kzokul... u on a long thingggggggggggggggggg

Good debate

Helicopter daddying....
LOL...


Second bolded... that rent aint gonn pay for itself

Nice one,,,a balanced perspective from a female... giving her own experience

naijababe: Na wa o! I don't understand this thread abeg! Is public display of affection and carrying/posting their pics on FB and doing house chores now the yardstick for measuring who's a good father?

I idolise both my dad and grand-dad and both men were/are the typical Nigerian father as described in some of the posts here. I don't know many people with the kind of relationship my siblings and I have with our dad. I can sit and talk to my dad about almost anything but that was not always the case. Even if he wasn't always there when I was a kid, I grew up and understood the sacrifices my dad made and don't judge him for his shortcomings, whayever they may be.


My dad worked in bank, rarely got home before 8, never did any chore nor helped my mother in the kitchen and spent most of his Saturdays attending one community meeting or the other but in my books is the quintessential excellent father in ways I can't be bothered to enumerate here.

While I agree that times have indeed changed, that folks don't do chores or return late from work is not enough to label them as bad parents, what's got to be done has to be done.

I am a full-time mother at the moment and believe me there are many times, I just want to be naijababe, not anyone's wife or mother. I honestly do not think it's fair to label anyone who's had a stressful week craving some 'me' time a bad father. In fact it is an essential part of being a good father/mother in my books.
Each to his own sha!!!

Actually these peopel are just plain bullies bringing their real world issues projecting it onto a cyber personality
I get the intellectual posturing but dont understand the superiority complex coupled with pseudo-perfectionism.

Its all about poking fun at others with no lesson or advice to others
For all i know, it may a bot just spouting spiel..lol


The true matriarchs of this section know themselves

TV01: Pick on? Who? I scratch my butt in Urdu! Dem no reesh, dem no fit. Lies, deception and misinformation cannot pick on the truth.

Matri-wetin? For where? Please don't rubbish that word. If they like let them form cabal, cohort, club, constituency, caucus or even corporation. I will continue to uphold and celebrate the family and harmonious relationships in truth.

In fact, I'm upping the ante, spew any contrary nonsense and I will pointedly draw your attention to it - if I choose. Don't particularly care if you respond or not or how you choose to do so. It's not for you, but for the impressionable/vulnerable reading.

If you besmirch Christianity, denigrate our families, try to normalise divorce, bash our men, promulgate sodomy or push radical feminism, I may well have something to say.

When I have time sha - gotta take JR swimming !

I'll be back - like a wrecking ball amongst derelict houses.

See them tremble !


TV

kulyie: well she didnt murder the woman,she just had the choice to help or not to help the woman and she chose the latter probably because she wanted peace which the woman was taking from her.meanwhile whether it is fictional or not,i dont care,i only need an answer to why women torment their daughter inlaws and this same women who gave birth to ladies too cannot go to their daughters house and frustrate their son inlaws or distate what he will do in his house :/

That action or lack of it of not getting her to the drugs is the intent and thus the murderous act

How u dey?

still think its fictional though but i think it is because by her inaction she led to the loss of life of another individual.

from wiki
The issue is the intention

Murder is the unlawful killing, with malice aforethought, of another human, and generally this premeditated state of mind distinguishes murder from other forms of unlawful homicide (such as manslaughter). A person who commits murder is called a murderer.[1]

byvan: She didn't murder her, she just didn't stop her from being murdered by death.You shouldn't have married a man whose family is against you in the first place . You should have just saved her,may be the relationship would ve been different after that.


You have to live with the guilt for the rest of your life,make peace with God.

still think its fictional though but i think it is because by her inaction she led to the loss of life of another individual.

from wiki

byvan: She didn't murder her, she just didn't stop her from being murdered by death.You shouldn't have married a man whose family is against you in the first place . You should have just saved her,may be the relationship would ve been different after that.


You have to live with the guilt for the rest of your life,make peace with God.

what kzokul is saying that it is far easier for some folks to recommend dismissal of mothers-in-law, hubby siblings or step children rather than the woman's mum, own child from another marriage or own siblings

If a child is being anti-social smoking or doing drugs will the mum chuck out her own child

NO

But if her hubby's teenage brother is doing a fraction of that, the knives will be brought out.

It's good people like you are standing for your nephew

Good advice so far

Eh ya..

Really sad

I wish her all the best in this trying time

HumbledbYGrace: thanks for the links.

As for the gang guy he aint her boyfriend, just some guy who had made advances to her for some time. I don't know how she got to his place but it occured there.

kzokul.. kolo man...

Let things be on the low for now...another thread will soon be on the way...

yellowpawpaw: Thanks dear.its gonna be a grt weekend cos I'm throwin a party for my baby this afternoon. Will send ur item 7 tru here!
Happ wkend to u 2!

Send item 7 to me toooo

Congrats and stay blessed

more black heartedness.... why?

funny thread

just re read,,, my bad

i assumed the gang guy was the boyfriend..

post modified,

that was FEMI dude...

Donmichaelz: *walks into thread looks @mod turns and looked@seun,brings out radio and start playin FELA,"I sorry sorry o I sorry for Nairalan I sorry sorry o I sorry for Nairalander,off music puts on sun shade and zoom off in silence*

please what does wole soyinka have to with this;...

He merely repeated what millions of nigerians were thinking.. i dont get this

Why is 2shotz hiding behind his wife....

Let him sue beverly for libel if its true

Billyonaire: Please dont repeat this again, dont insult someone's wife. Regarding 'fakeness', nature presented us with ocean, yet we process drinking water with it. Presented us with sand, yet we build mansions with it. Gave us legs, and we drive cars with it. Natural creation is inconclusive and needs human efforts to perfect it, it is why we are called co-creators.

Don't be a Wole Soyinka. Do not insult people's wives. It is wrong, uncivil, neanderthal and bestial.

wow.. this is tragic...

She needs rehabilitation first of all
Until that stain is wiped off, she cant move forward

Is there any NGO dealing with assaulted women who can guide...

Sorry i dont know much

See this link http://www.911rape.org/getting-help/what-to-do-if-you-are-raped

What To Do If You Are Raped

- Go to a safe place.
- If you want to report the crime, notify the police immediately. Reporting the crime can help you regain a sense of personal power and control.
- Call a friend, a family member, or someone else you trust who can be with you and give you support.
- Preserve all physical evidence of the assault. Do not shower, bathe, douche, eat, drink, wash your hands, or brush your teeth until after you have had a medical examination. Save all of the clothing you were wearing at the time of the assault. Place each item of clothing in a separate paper bag. Do not use plastic bags. Do not clean or disturb anything in the area where the assault occurred.
- Get medical care as soon as possible. Go to a hospital emergency department or a specialized forensic clinic that provides treatment for sexual assault victims. Even if you think that you do not have any physical injuries, you should still have a medical examination and discuss with a health care provider the risk of exposure to sexually transmitted infections and the possibility of pregnancy resulting from the sexual assault. Having a medical exam is also a way for you to preserve physical evidence of a sexual assault.
- If you suspect that you may have been given a "rape drug," ask the hospital or clinic where you receive medical care to take a urine sample. Drugs, such as Rohypnol and GHB, are more likely to be detected in urine than in blood.
- Write down as much as you can remember about the circumstances of the assault, including a description of the assailant.
- Get information whenever you have questions or concerns. After a sexual assault, you have a lot of choices and decisions to make - e.g., about getting medical care, making a police report, and telling other people. You may have concerns about the impact of the assault and the reactions of friends and family members. You can get information by calling a rape crisis center, a hotline, or other victim assistance agencies.
- Talk with a counselor who is trained to assist rape victims. Counseling can help you learn how to cope with the emotional and physical impacts of the assault. You can find a counselor by contacting a local rape crisis center, a hotline, a counseling service, other victim assistance agencies, or RAINN. RAINN is a national victim assistance organization, at 1-800-656-HOPE. RAINN will connect you to a rape crisis center in your area.

others are
http://www.turningpointservices.org/If%20She%20is%20Raped.htm

http://www.bandbacktogether.com/How-To-Help-Someone-Heal-From-Sexual-Assault/

Hope it helps

May God help our sisters and daughters

thanks for your post @dami...

very real as usual

damiso: Not saying that Nigerian men are generally poster dads or that they are not, but I think this thread might be subjective being that quality time means different things to different people.I think its even more a generation thing world over jare.Before I moved here, I used to think ALL or Most western men were what you would call ideal husbands or ideal fathers.FaFa foul.Their women complain just as much.You should read blogs on Netmums Coffehouse.

I watch alot of documentaries like Who Do You Think You Are and pretty much till about say 30 40 yrs ago, child rearing was pretty much the woman's domain even in the west.Soccer mum is sha an oyinbo colloquial expression.Ask a 60 yr old oyinbo guy he probabIy also cant remember him and his Dad playing.Its just that ideals are shifting and our men are taking a lil longer in joining the party .Maybe cos some of our women still believe the man must provide everything.

Its relative sha.My Dad never bathed or changed any of our diapers.He never had the need to cos my mum sef come to think of it never did much as well.We had househelps and my mum had her MIL, her mum, her grand mum and loads of aunties who dropped everything to come help her.If I think of it sef, , quality bonding time with my mum came in my mid to late teens (thats if we want to go by oyinbo bonding).She was too busy 'training' me to be a good wife and mother in future.I remember when I would sneak to watch football with my dad her response would be Ato yin ti, ti omo e ba sunkun wa ma wo ball (I leave you two to it sebi when your baby is crying you will be watching football) .Me and my husband check out transfer windows every evening and keep cussing out arsene wenger so I dont think its affected my marriage sha


Playing with kids is something we are still learning.Even me sef, when I go on play outings with my daughter and her oyinbo friends, I am in awe .Me by the time my daughter says mummy why like 20 times, I say bebe pls am tired I just told you that, or 5 more rides and no more.Oyinbo mum, answers like 500 questions with darling at the end, she will ride scooter sef .

Another unarmed black teen dies without trial sef
The black man is truly endangered... both from the whites and even black women

Graham killed in bathroom

Grand Jury Decides Not to Charge Officer Who Fatally Shot Unarmed Youth in Bronx

Eighteen months after a police officer barged into a private residence and fatally shot an unarmed teenager in the bathroom of the home, the criminal case against the officer has collapsed with a grand jury’s decision to not bring charges in the case.

The decision, which was announced on Thursday morning, was met with shock from the Bronx district attorney, Robert T. Johnson, and it prompted calls for a federal civil rights investigation and an independent prosecutor. By late afternoon, the United States attorney’s office in Manhattan said it would review the evidence to “determine whether there were any violations of the federal criminal civil rights laws.”

Nonetheless, the grand jury decision stirred anger and talk of racism among supporters and relatives of the shooting victim, Ramarley Graham, 18. Mr. Graham was black; the officer, Richard Haste, is white.

Narcotics officers had become suspicious of Mr. Graham as he walked through the Wakefield section of the Bronx with two friends. Officer Haste, 31, pursued the teenager, forcing his way into the apartment where Mr. Graham lived with his grandmother. The officer confronted him in the bathroom and shot him, after he mistakenly interpreted a gesture as Mr. Graham reaching for a gun, according to the officer’s account to the grand jury.

The resulting tensions in the community had been largely calmed after Officer Haste was initially indicted last year on manslaughter charges. But a judge dismissed the indictment in May, saying prosecutors had improperly precluded the grand jury from considering Officer Haste’s claim that he believed that Mr. Graham was armed, based on what he had heard fellow officers say over a police radio.

The judge’s ruling allowed prosecutors to seek a new indictment. On Tuesday, Officer Haste told grand jurors that he had repeatedly directed Mr. Graham to “show me your hands,” according to the officer’s lawyer, Stuart London.

Mr. London acknowledged on Thursday that “it was surprising” for a grand jury in the Bronx to vote against prosecuting an officer after such a shooting. “The grand jury should be commended for the courage they had in the face of such a tragedy to keep an open mind and allow my client to tell his side of the story,” he said.

Although the officer will not face state charges for the shooting, he still faces the federal inquiry and a disciplinary review in the Police Department; Mr. Graham’s family is also suing the police.

At a news conference outside the district attorney’s office on Thursday, Mr. Graham’s father, Frank Graham, said, “Everything just seems dark.”

Speaking before two dozen protesters and several politicians, the father said: “We have to ask ourselves this question: ‘Had Ramarley been white, would this have happened? Would they have run in a white person’s home?’ ”

The turn of events is all the more surprising because Bronx juries tend to be far more skeptical of police actions than juries elsewhere. About 16 officers are currently under indictment there on charges related to a widespread ticket-fixing scandal that has also cast a pall over State Supreme Court in the borough, as defense lawyers cite the scandal to suggest that the police cannot be trusted to testify truthfully.

District Attorney Johnson said in a statement: “We are surprised and shocked by the grand jury’s finding of no criminal liability in the death of Ramarley Graham. We are saddened for the family of the deceased young man and still believe that the court’s dismissal of the original indictment was overly cautious.”

For a time it had appeared that Officer Haste would be the first New York City officer to stand trial in criminal court for a fatal shooting in the line of duty since three officers were tried — and acquitted — in 2008 for the shooting of Sean Bell, who died in a hail of 50 police bullets outside a Queens club.

The shooting of Mr. Graham provoked widespread outrage amid allegations of racial profiling and criticism of the aggressive tactics that led the police to pursue him and force their way into his apartment after finding the door locked. Anger over the shooting is memorialized even in Google’s mapping function: the street view of Mr. Graham’s home on East 229th Street shows a white fence thickly decorated with votive candles and posters criticizing the Police Department (one compares it to the Ku Klux Klan).

Immediately after the shooting, Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg expressed “real concerns.” The police commissioner, Raymond W. Kelly, ordered a review of the street narcotics enforcement units, which are responsible for arresting low-level street dealers and their customers. Untrained in undercover work, they are limited to making arrests after they witness a drug sale, often observed from afar through binoculars. In the wake of Mr. Graham’s death, the focus of the squads shifted from narcotics work to youth gangs.

On Feb. 2, 2012, something about how Mr. Graham moved his hands near his waist, as he walked down the street, led the narcotics officers to suspect he might be armed, and as the surveillance progressed, two officers said over the radio that they had seen the butt of a gun.

Officer Haste said he was relying on what his fellow officers had observed as he rushed to the scene and broke into Mr. Graham’s residence.

He told the grand jury on Tuesday over five hours of testimony, according to his lawyer, how he had confronted Mr. Graham, who had darted into the bathroom. Mr. Graham ignored repeated warnings to show his hands, and Officer Haste came to think the teenager was reaching for a gun, the lawyer said.

“He believed he would be shot and killed,” Mr. London said of his client. It was then that Officer Haste fired a single, fatal shot.

“I think the grand jury found there were many opportunities for Ramarley Graham to end the situation with no violence and no shooting and he did not avail himself of those opportunities,” Mr. London said.

A bag of marijuana was later found in the toilet, and investigators think Mr. Graham’s final act was a bid to flush the drugs away. No gun was found.

Randy Leonard contributed reporting.

in my opinion, this issue is a global one...

theres still room for improvement... lets celebrate what we have achieved and strive for perfection

Thats all we are here on this earth for anyway


http://parlourmagazine.com/2013/06/happy-fathers-day-forget-child-support-your-kids-just-want-you/

Happy Father’s Day: Forget Child Support, Your Kids Just Want You

In light of Father’s Day, Parlour spoke to Eva Haldane, a Columbia University graduate student completing her Ph.D in social work, about why co-parenting, whether a child’s parents live together or not, is so important. Ms. Haldane shared that while mothers certainly do care about whether fathers are paying child support, the kids themselves would simply rather have a relationship with their dad, with or without money. Not to mention, the stereotype that black fathers are statistically less present than others races is inaccurate. Here’s what Ms. Haldane had to say in her own words:

To all the fathers who don’t live with their kids; your kids don’t care if you pay child support, they just want to spend time with you. Men get caught up in being a provider and forget that it’s more important to be there for their children as a supportive role model. Fathers must get over their egos. Your child is not going to remember whether you bought them a Tickle Me Elmo, but they will remember when you didn’t come to their basketball game, which was free.

Americans are not getting married the way we used to. The likelihood of children being raised by a single parent has increased, according to 2010 Census, 38 percent of black children lived with two parents.

When dads spend quality time with their kids, not just watching TV, they can share their values. The father can say ‘I don’t approve of you having unprotected sex indiscriminately or before you’re married’ or communicate how hard it is to be a nonresident father. It’s more about the quality of the relationship, and you don’t have to live with your kids to have a good relationship.

In my dissertation Three Papers on Paternal Effects on Child’s Sexual Risk Taking and Relationship Formation, I culled data from the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health, also called Add Health, which tracked 20,000 kids from twelve-years-old until their late 30s. The study asked every question under the sun about their physical and mental health, sexual behavior and relationships with their fathers, and their non-resident fathers, meaning if they had a stepfather or single mother at home. My preliminary research shows that the stereotype saying if a father’s not around, their child will be more sexually active is true.

Americans should stop acting like the single parent family isn’t increasingly becoming normal and problematic. If research shows that kids who don’t grow up with both parents are more likely to drop out of school, have risky sex, not make any money and have multiple children, then we need to take this phenomenon seriously.

When I worked at Columbia Professor Ronald Mincey’s Center for Research on Fathers, Children and Family Well-Being, I analyzed surveys about child support completed by nonresident fathers. None of those men wrote ‘I don’t like my kid,’ they usually wrote they weren’t around because they didn’t have any money or didn’t get along with their child’s mother. Still, the kid almost always thinks there’s something they can do to bring their father back or fix that relationship. That’s frustrating because it seems simple to spend time with your child but the ‘I have to be a provider’ idea starts so early in young men that its tough to break. Recently, I interviewed male college sophomores and they were already saying ‘I have to take care of my family’ though they were students with no income.

For my dissertation, I’m focusing on girls because I was interested in when their relationships with their fathers fell apart and how they thought that influenced their dating and sexual habits. From my interviews, many thought their dads had a magic answer that would help them pick the right guy. There is obviously no secret to choosing a mate, but it’s interesting that girls who didn’t have their father growing up think that there’s something missing, and that’s why they aren’t in romantic relationships.

My research also hits close to home because I grew up with and without my father.

My dad is a recovering drug addict and he also had post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). As a child, he and I hung out all the time, then he began using drugs hardcore and we hung out a little less, then he started going to jail and we hung out even less.In my early 20s, I told him that his drifting in and out of my life was crazy. By that time, he’d been clean for a few months so we had a good talk. I wrote him a letter, and I’m pretty sure I included the phrase, ‘You’re not going to be the reason I don’t get married’ and ‘You haven’t made an effort to get to know me, I’m an adult.’

He wrote me back and apologized. He’d been in therapy for PTSD by that point, he was clean and working on himself so that helped. I also, to use a very social worker phrase, met him where he was. My dad’s not going to be Cliff Huxtable, but he’s always going to help me move, fix something or listen to me complain and be optimistic. A lot of kids need to realize that their dad is not perfect and meeting him where he is, instead where you’d like him to be, is helpful.

Ultimately, just because black couples aren’t getting married at the rate society deems acceptable doesn’t mean they aren’t parenting or that black fathers aren’t present or bad in their role. In fact, black nonresident fathers are more likely to be in contact with their children than nonresident fathers of other races. I’ve even heard black people say in conversation that slavery has impacted contemporary culture’s marriage rates, but that’s not right either.

Recently, I tried to write a paper about when the idea of blacks being bad fathers began historically, and I drew my research all the way back to slavery. Then blacks couldn’t marry legally, so we jumped the broom, but if a husband was sold he might marry at his new plantation. During Reconstruction, dads were even buying their families as they moved up north so they could parent, I found so many amazing stories.

I think people blame slavery for everything, but black marriage rates during Reconstruction were 70-90 percent. Marriage rates have never been that high since then. I hate when people say black men aren’t good fathers or they aren’t there because throughout our history they have been, or have tried to be. Everyone’s not going to get married nor should they, but everyone must learn how to co-parent.

texaco1: How

it is because implicit in the love for this foreign product, we dont support our own - not our fault as there is no sustainable local league

Even fans of the EPL like the portuguese, thai,japanese have their own ligs

Full scale adoption of this product is even killing the little clubs that thrived in the 80s... not our fault but to me its similar to speaking english exclusively with no recourse of our native tongue

even the us now have a semi solid MLS lig