I don’t usually ask strangers but given the circumstances I wanted unbiased opinions (ie not family, not friends both Nigerian and Non-Nigerian). Lots of topics about family advice so do not see the point of your catty and unhelpful comment but thanks anyway.

Thank you for your reply

The business is in Nigeria

Yes I do give my parents a monthly stipend

Sorry I posted this elsewhere so might sound as if so

Need some advice and name changes for this

My parents who are first generation migrants to the UK want to start a business in their country of origin and want me to lend them the money to start that business to the tune of around 20000. It’s not entirely enough to cover the whole cost but what is needed to start off but what would essentially be a franchise. The franchise is within the running of an petrol station.

My parents have never been good with money.... rent arrears, been declared bankrupt for other reasons, owe me from previous money which is now a ‘gift’ to them in the tune of thousands btw as well as my elder brother. The amount owed includes paying off other debts they have accrued including rent arrears for a property they primarily lived in but struggled to pay rent whereas I was living and working over 100 miles away. My brother and I have just written off all these amounts as money we are helping are parents with as they are our parents and we don’t necessarily want, need or expect it back. We currently help them with amounts here and there to prop them up.

Said parents though always manage to travel to home country once sometimes twice a year for often at least a month. They are close to retirement age with sketchy retirement fund plans except two properties in home country and what they would get from pension here so see this “business” as an opportunity to retire in home country.

They want me to lend them the money with stipulation that when they sell one of their properties I would get this money back. I’m not entirely sure if the worth of this property nor have I seen the paperwork to confirm that and any financial arrangement. I think they are just hoping I take their word for it. They realise for me to do this I would have to remortgage as I have savings elsewhere that will be needed for other things imminently.

I don’t want to remortgage and am anxious about implications of this but parents have become quite nasty such as threatening no contact because I don’t want to help them.

They have generally been controlling and manipulative to me over the years which has affected previous friendships/relationships and shaped the person I am today. I thank them for supporting me to be in the high profession I am today (which I am constantly reminded of) and has included some financial contribution from them. They paid for me to attend a private tuition college for 6 months (£4000) when I was 18 to improve my Alevels and get the university course they wanted me to. I did not go to private school however and they have never really “paid” for my education prior to that as such which is fine. I’m constantly reminded of this amount 18 years later.

I’m now really unsure how to handle this matter. Sorry it’s long but of course don’t want to drip feed.