₦airaland Forum

I love black

pocohantas:
Is there any prick that's one way? As a refurbished virgin, I am aware it faces one direction when flaccid and another when erect. It still has the ability to go round its orbit. Indecision or what?


As for the girl, she is very silly. To what end?
Mtcheeeew! The guy will be alright, though he might feel bad being caught up in bitches fight, that's if he doesn't have his own plan.

Refurbished virgin?

Ya crazy. Mehn! This is exactly what I've been clamoring against, how do you stoop to the lowest of all just to spite another girl... Total BS!

RaggedyAnn:


You provoked me into writing this sketchy parody. So, thanks. No disrespect to the male folk.

1.

In a filthy hole somewhere sometime.

Manwan: (pinches his nose) Mantu, you stink!

Mantu: Oh, I haven't been by the river in weeks, so I haven't bathed. And you, you're skinnier than the last time I saw you.

Manwan: Yes, I caught some fish but when I put them over the fire, something must have happened because I couldn't get them past my throat.

Mantu: Life is hard!

Manwan: You can say that again.

Mantu: Life is hard!!

Manwan: No, I heard you the first time. I meant: I agree with you.

Mantu: Okay. (Pensive) But, you know, the other half of mankind is not suffering like this o.

Manwan: Really? How do you mean?

Mantu: I have been seeing womanwan and co, they smell like roses all the time, their houses are clean and their pots ooze with delicious fragrances.

Manwan: But that's unfair!

Mantu: You can say that again.

Manwan: See?

Mantu: Yes. I learn quickly. It is really unfair. What do we do about it?

Manwan: They have to help us o!

Mantu: But how do we get them to do that? We are stronger, can we just capture them and put them in cages, and release them only to work for us?

Manwan: No. That won't work. They would not be happy to work for us that way. They could even poison us!

Mantu: You are right. (Pensive)

Manwan: We have to make it seem like it is their idea to work for us.

Mantu: Okay.

Manwan: Or.......we make them believe they have no choice.

Mantu: But isn't that like putting them in cages?

Manwan: No. (Beams brilliantly) we give them a set of instructions but we won't say that the instructions are coming from us.

Mantu: then whom will we say that they come from?

Manwan: God.

Mantu: God? Who is that?

Manwan: No one. But are they to know that? We will say that he is an invisible being larger than life, who has the power to punish them if they fail to follow his instructions. That his reach is beyond death. That he rewards good people and burns bad people in a big fire for ever.

Mantu: (shivers) that is genius! But how do we explain that God only punishes them and not us?

Manwan: We won't. Because he will punish us too.

Mantu: (looks aghast)

Manwan: Relax! We will make our rules different from theirs. We will say that we are the first and dearer creations of God, created to serve him while they are meant to serve us.

Mantu: Manwan, you are brilliant.


2.

A garden of roses, someplace close by somewhere sometime.

Manwan: God has revealed his face to me. And he says that you have shamed him with your despicable acts.

Womanwan: What despicable acts? We do not disturb anyone. We plant on our fields and hunt in our forests. We never cross the Great Divide, into your country only at the night of the harvest moon that marks our bi-annual mating ritual.

Manwan: Yes. It is not acceptable for you to plant or hunt anymore.

Womantu: Ha! How do we survive?

Manwan: each one of you will be joined to one of us. We will plant and hunt and you will keep us tidy, and feed us with your food.

Womanwan: but what do we gain from this union? We already do our own planting and hunting.

Manwan: Yes. And God is enraged by your impudence. You will burn in flames forever even after you die. Is that what you want?

Womanwan: No. Of course not.


3.

In a filthy hole somewhere sometime

Mantu: that was easy.

Manwan: Yes, it was. See how fresh we look now!

Mantu: I noticed that there are more of them than of us. What happens if the unpaired ones begin to live well independently? Will that not make more of them want to remain that way?

Manwan: We will tell them that an unpaired breed is a shameful being. We can, in our benevolence, then offer to join ourselves with two, three, four... Of them.

Mantu: (excited) more of them to cook and clean and treat me like a king? Manwan, you have a delicious brain!

Manwan: I know. Have you also noticed how ugly they become in old age? Those succulent fruit in their chest begin to droop and loose their shape. Their skins begin to dry out and curl up. We must let them know how unattractive we find them in their old age so that they are desperate to be joined in their youth.

Mantu: But we also wrinkle and become droopy.

Manwan: Yes, but is God complaining? He doesn't care that we are old and ugly when we pass the gates of heaven. Remember we are made for God and they are made for us. They must please us! They cannot be allowed to have protruding bellies, or extra flab. We will tell them that we are moved by our eyes. If we do not consider them pleasing to look at, they would not be considered worthy of being joined to us.

They scammed us, these evil people scammed us! Damn!

Well, this is the 21st century, only those that want to be scammed will get scammed. Moi? #TeamBabyMama

Makydebbie, you need to read this, have always known marriage is just some kinda decorative bondage.

Nawa! Cheerful giver nii

LadyPounds:
hmmm, to me, i think every woman deep down, just wants to live wild, happy and totally free with little or no consequences..



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Me me me!

Luxuryconsult:
are you still single?

Lol. Very much single.

daewoorazer:
[color=#995500]The bastvrd that said pahdeen got me seriously rotfl [/color]

Hahahaha

Same here

O ja mi lara je, walahi!

missnawty:
aderola peperenpeeeeeee peperenpeeee.. Padi mi toh gbayi!!!!
I miss u bae.. Biko who r ur new frnds here?? Take us around nah kilon Shey e

Kikikikiki

Choiiii! I miss you hearing that oooo

Nothing much, awon salaro lo po ju bayii oooo but have got few friends here sha. Lemme quicquic introduce them.

Tahrah
Dashers
Queensekxy
Oyindidi
Horlohlah- she's an oldie too but she don change uniform like me
Makydebbie- you remember that Ghanian girl? Ehnehn, we're friends now nii

Oya, you pipu shuu comman meet my long lost sisters ooo.

missnawty:
its okay.. Just creat anoda thread there and write; my bf is straffing anoda geh behind me.. Should I be bothered ? and mention us there

Hahahaha

I concur! That one izz sha romantic

missnawty:
derola or Lee what Shuld I belive now pls nah

Rola nii ma'am

TashaGirl:
chisos!!!
Why this scary moniker

Hahahaha

Rotflmao

To scare people off

missnawty:
oh!!! So Ure Lee!! Jeeeez! Lol u didn't ask of us . Our ride and die padi

Hahahaha

I sound like Lee? Hahahaha , our love is rubbing off on me ooo

This is Aderola15

missnawty:
emperorlee omg!! Whrs he??
Still trying to rembr one moniker like that ooooo we famz eachoda that time no b small

Lee is fine, in my room


Famzing no be small nii ooo...

Smellymouth, Susan, Aderola, Hatey, Nawtie, Lee... Can't remember others sha

I miss those days oooo

TashaGirl:
are you tipsy, high or drunk? Which one?

All join

missnawty:
haaa that's true oo.. Ders somethin call BAN!! Lol
Seun is Tashagirl padi padi.. So we r covered

Anything for your girls?

Let Tasha marry Seun na, make we chop nairaland money togerra

You girls went on the vacation not me na, you should bring the goodies.

TashaGirl:
I get you Kross

Kross kor agbelebu nii

Which kain sister be hatey sef?

Lee's Iyawo, remember?

missnawty:
Hatey
Lol
Shoutout to Blackhawk01 and to RoyalBlak007
.. And oh hello romancelander.. Bn ages yeah?
Obiorathesubtle and iykelvins

TGIF wassup everyone

Yipeeeeee! Finally, a new kinda air!

Beht don't comman be chopping bans anyhow again oooo.

TashaGirl:
maxi112
Emperor bla bla

Hahahaha

Emperor bla bla

Hatey wee never change , I missed you.

RoyalBlak007:

Werey! You wanto start playing roff play with Dlaw?

missnawty:
baby I'm sorry y'all don't drag me back heeereeee ooooooooooooooooo

Limme jhor


I miss you and hatey so much, miss your diaries too.

How have you been? How is hatey?

RoyalBlak007:
♤Oh! you nicknamed it "pork"

[color=#F5A215]♤ hmmmm...is it the "pork" am pondering ? [/color]

Pork as in swineflesh .

Missnawty, you can't keep disappearing like this, yunno?

Oyindidi:
yeye pikin. I go break her leg be that

You want make Omo nna beat us up? Jesu! I no dey oooo

Oyindidi:
Seriously I'll eat amala and correct egusi soup

Debbie go prepare those Ghana meals

Tahra go prepare poundy and ogbono soup

Sekxy go prepare ofe ahku( banga stew) and white rice

Correct egusi soup? You don jam, iyamm a pro.


Amala? Mummyyyyyyy, ya on your own oooooo.

RoyalBlak007:
♤ Is it the "meat"

[color=#F5A215]♤ am thinking about ?[/color]

Pork

Oyindidi:
Blacky, where is Debbie?

She don carry belle for Omo nna

Oyindidi:
you will come and carry my baby and cook for me as I born. You,Debbie, tahra and blacky will take turns to Cook for me

Na noodles you go dey chop whenever it's my turn to cook

thepussyhunter:
blackhawk01 doesnt eat meat..............she prefers fish

(no body should ask me how i know)

I love meat

Dasherz:
Just finished ma octopus meat. .. abeg I need summary Blackhawk01 queensekxy .. come o

Lol. Jude attracts orisirisi, another nutcase is obsessed with him I guess.


Wey my own share biko?

thepussyhunter:
too late........i already choked and died

hey you gonna pay me (in kind) or what?

you just broke rule 22 and ama 'bout to call the cops on you

I'm talking to a ghost?

What's the rule 22 all about?