Still in the 'planning' phase?
The darker the skin. . . . the longer the plan.

If only I were God. . . .?

A parent's worst nightmare.
Only God knows the 'real' story.
No need to pray. . . God is omniscient and omnipresent.
Let his will be done.
Amen.

One more reason why I do not go to church.


The greatest frustration of most men is that their wives keep offending them but I always tell men, “It is normal for your wife to offend you.”   One of the ways to show that you are truly above her is to keep forgiving and loving her in spite of her offences. That is the way Christ loves the church. And you know the Bible says, “…Love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church…”

Only Jesus Christ can do this for real. . . not Christians.
Jesus Christ was NEVER married. . . go figure!
Poor Christians.
See suffer-head preaching. . . which can only lead to the death of one or more parties in that 'bondage' marriage for sure.

Dede1:

This is a ranting of an ant. I guess historically you are a midget and psychologically a confused slave. If you have not reduced your parental posterity into trivial circumstances, I would have joined issue with you on the subjects of your rambling.

Look who is writing?
You ain'tgat the pedigree of no creme-filled Nabisco cookie yourself.
Start packing your sacks of cassava and let Nigeria see your backs.
Blood thirsty human-vampires!

First, OBJ picks a half-dead Northerner to rule you Igbotic Biafra within Nigeria, then a dunder-headed South-Southerner with 'starch and banga' for brains. . .you are here making noise. What happened to picking one from your Hitler-race of cannibals? Now, awon kerewa from the Middle Belt will chance you before you get a chance in 2015, if you ever get it. I say start packing. . . Nigeria does not need your drug-trafficking, baby-selling, cannibalistic ritualists to build a healthy Nigeria. You have over-stayed your welcome. Please move out of Nigeria. Nigeria does not need you.

Moo moo!

^^^



Actually, the MiddleBelters may be pansies(woman-wrappers) but not retaards like the South-Southerners. They are just fed up with Nigeria and do not wish to deal with the futility of it all. Thank God for Atiku. I saw your trap. . . and I ain't falling for it. I am not from the South-south you know. Do I look like a Jonathan 'Bad-luck'? Thanks for reminding me I left the Middle-Belterns out.

Revised list.

North
MiddleBelt
West
East
South

Execute ALL politicians above 40 years of age.

^^^

Of course OBJ sat on it for 8 years so it would not be binding. Na lie im dey laugh o!
Why do you think the old monkey is laughing?
It is binding!
Prepare for war!

I really want to know the best way to handle such an irrational person.

As long as the partner does not make decisions that would jeopardize the emotional/physical/psychological/financial/spiritual health of my family, she is free to indulge in her ways till she learns herself. No need to nag. Just like as with a child, you can only offer advice, love and support when the 'excreta' hits the fan.
Whatever you do, do NOT say "I told you so". Just get in your car, drive down the road and have a good laugh on your own. Then come back home and pretend that nothing happened. Even if she brings it up. . .and says honey, you warned me. Do NOT fall for that, it is a trap.

Works all the time.

http://thegenderblenderblog./2009/05/14/beware-facebook-can-break-up-your-marriage/


Beware! Facebook can break up your marriage!
Oh, the things people say…

An Oklahoma news station has a recent story about how online social networking sites (case in point: Facebook) can be “hazardous to marriages”:

“We see about 40 percent of the couples coming in, there is a link to Facebook or to MySpace that has caused a breach in their marriage,” said licensed marriage and family therapist Tara Fritsch.

So, out of all possible other reasons why a marriage would fall apart, Facebook or MySpace seem to be a primary culprit. How so?

The Edmond therapist said most connections start off innocently enough.

“An ex-love, an old flame — there’s a nostalgia there. There’s memory of the simple days or maybe excitement of new romance,” she said.

Your significant other on Facebook is a threat to your relationship. What if your partner’s Facebook friends are people s/he went to high school, college, or grad school with? What if your partner realizes from looking at one of their friend’s pictures that so-and-so from way back when is attractive now and decide to ditch you to pursue him/her instead?

Fritsch says that couples should establish guidelines to monitor their use of online social networking sites:

“If it’s not something you want your spouse to know about, don’t do it. Have open communication with your spouse. Share your Facebook or MySpace sites. Have one another’s passwords. Talk regularly about who you are chatting with,” Fritsch said.

Come on now, is this really necessary? Have each other’s passwords? Talk regularly about who you are chatting with? Adults, especially ones in relationships, do not need to be monitored like they are children. People are entitled to privacy and if the relationship is founded on trust and open communication then there is no need to be paranoid about whether or not your partner is going to cheat on you with a Facebook friend. You can’t wall off your partner’s exposure to and communication with other people, you shouldn’t have access to his/her Facebook (just like you shouldn’t have access to his/her email or text messages), and you shouldn’t be policing who your partner communicates with on or off-line. That’s just ridiculous and controlling.

Of course it’s easier and much more of an oversimplification to blame social networking sites for cheating and failed marriages. And also, I love how the article seems to put marriage on a pedestal – it’s so crucial that people remain married at all costs, even if their relationship is already on the rocks. So, if you want to save your relationship (or if it doesn’t quite need saving yet, just make sure it lasts),

[size=16pt]get rid of your Facebook or Myspace account if you haven’t already![/size]

^^^

Anyone that allows Face Book to 'break' up his or her marriage must be mentally-challenged. How can that be?

This must be serious.

http://www.thomascrampton.com/uncategorized/how-facebook-ended-my-marriage/

Nairaland says posting from this link is a 'spam' activity.

Next one please. . .

http://marriagejunkie.com/2009/01/22/is-facebook-a-cyber-threat-to-your-marriage/


January 22, 2009
Is Facebook a Cyber Threat to Your Marriage?

Part One of a Two-Part Series: Facebook and Your Marriage by K. Jason and Kelli Krafsky


Ever since the internet has become a regular part of the human experience, cyberspace has been implicated as an accomplice in online affairs, real life adultery, and the break-up marriages.

With every new online fad have come the stories of spouses wandering away from their marriage to a new cyber love interest.  Media has spotlighted tales and trends of online affairs starting through chat rooms, MySpace, Second Life, websites and online forums.

Is Facebook, the world’s fastest growing online social network, just another in a long list of cyber threats to your marriage?

Having been active Facebook users for awhile and experiencing the good, the bad, and the ugly of participating in an online social network, we recognize there are potential threats to your relationship.  But the ultimate threat is not the latest technology … it is the choices you make online and offline … in cyberspace and real life.

Being raised during the divorce culture, we’ve witnessed too many marriages break apart due to infidelity.  Spouses that seemed to have a strong and healthy marriage gave in to the ultimate temptation.

Before meeting Kelli, I (Jason) was given the book Hedges: Loving Your Marriage Enough to Protect It, and I read it with great sobriety and humility.  The opening sentence of the first chapter gripped my heart and mind, “sexual immorality hits frighteningly close to home. Without being aware of the need to protect ourselves against it, we are vulnerable.”

At age 11, my home was devastated by sexual immorality when my dad had an affair…eventually breaking our family apart.   Committed not to follow in his footsteps, I devoured the rest of the book and at age 21, established my own set of hedges, setting boundaries in my relationships to protect my future marriage.

When Kelli and I met, fell in love, and made the decision to marry, we also chose to do everything in our power to protect our marriage.  Hedges and Boundaries in Marriage are great books that share practical ways to set up safeguards for your marriage with the other relationships in your life.

Establishing personal boundaries is a part of everyday life with friends, co-workers, clients, and extended family members.  Setting up boundaries around the marriage relationship is a key step to proactively protecting yourself, your spouse, your marriage, your kids, and your reputation.

In the final book of the Old Testament, Malachi 2 talks about setting up a protective perimeter around the covenant relationship, “And what does he want from marriage? Children of God, that’s what. So guard the spirit of marriage within you. Don’t cheat on your spouse. ‘I hate divorce,’ says the God of Israel…’I hate the violent dismembering of the ‘one flesh’ of marriage.’ So watch yourselves. Don’t let your guard down. Don’t cheat.” (The Message).

One of the boundaries we set up as a perimeter around our relationship is that neither of us will be alone with someone of the opposite gender.  Not because we are worried about the other cheating, but to avoid the appearance of impropriety or being caught in a potential he said/she said situation.  We’ve heard too many stories of how an accusation (some true, some false) has tarnished a reputation or ended a career.  Being active Facebookers, we have adopted our real life set of boundaries for our online world with Facebook friends (FB friends).

Five Ways to Diffuse the Cyber Threats to Your Marriage

(1)    Set Safeguards With Your Mate – Discuss with your mate: What FB friends and groups are inbounds or out-of-bounds?  How much information about yourself and family is too much information?  Are either of you uncomfortable with potential FB friends? Are any communication methods off limits?

We keep our correspondences with people of the opposite gender public by posting on their “walls,” or limited to commenting on status updates.  We also keep each other informed of Facebook emails from people, and avoid chatting with people of the opposite gender. Whatever your safeguards, be sure that both you and your spouse are on the same page when it comes to what is or is not acceptable for each other on Facebook.  A little bit of prevention can go a long way in safeguarding your relationship.

(2)    Don’t Post Negative Things About Your Spouse – A lot of banter, complaining, and sharing occur when people post their status updates. It is common for FB friends to whine about the weather, joke about a frustrating work issue or report on something new in their life.  But it is always uncomfortable when someone complains about their spouse or kids.  While it may not seem like a big deal to the one posting, the majority of the readers don’t have enough context or information to know if something is a simple tease or an exasperated gripe.

Avoid giving too much information about the annoying things your spouse is or is not doing, and be sure not to embarrass them in your status update, or through posting pictures or videos.  Don’t get back at your spouse for something through a public comment.

Typing is not the same as talking … so don’t use the keyboard in an attempt to resolve an issue, talk it through in private!

(3)    Choose Your Friends Wisely – When first getting started on Facebook, finding FB friends and accepting FB friend requests can be very exciting because you’re reconnecting with people from your past.  Ultimately, it is your decision to accept them into your social network.  They can be family members, friends, neighbors, co-workers, associates, long-lost friends or past flames.  Once FB friends are accepted, they see and view everything you post publicly and vice-versa.  One question to ask when requesting or accepting a FB friend is, “would my spouse be comfortable with me being ‘friends’ with this person?”

Listen to your heart, and if you’re still not sure, ask your spouse.

(4)    Play It Smart With Who You Talk About What With – A common pattern arises when reading a variety of news stories on internet affairs.  A spouse starts chatting with someone of the opposite gender about their relationship woes.  Over time, the live chats turn to emails that turn to phone calls that turn to face-to-face meetings that turn to… you get the picture.  And when the adulterous relationship becomes public knowledge, the confiding spouse proclaims, “I never meant for this to happen!”  Learn from other people’s mistakes.  Avoid discussing your relationship difficulties with people of the opposite gender, and be careful of developing too close of a confidant online.

In the book, Not “Just” Friends, infidelity expert Shirley Glass writes that building too close of a relationship with someone online enters the danger zone “because it meets all three criteria that discriminate between a platonic friendship and an emotional affair: emotional intimacy…secrecy…(and) sexual chemistry…sexual contact is not a requirement for betrayal.”

The best way to avoid going down the slippery slope is to avoid climbing the hillside in the first place. (Take a free online quiz to determine if your online friendships are taking you up the slopes.)

(5)    If In Doubt, Defriend Them – Because you can’t judge a person by their profile picture, you may have regrets of becoming FB friends with someone.  Their posts might be offensive or uncomfortable to you.  Or it may be that you have a FB friend who sparks feelings in you and you find yourself looking at their profile often or looking for their next post. You may be chatting with them or online flirting with them.  Or your spouse may be uncomfortable with your being friends with a past love interest.  Defriend the threat! Go to their profile page and in the bottom left column is a link to remove them as a friend (and they don’t get a notice that they are no longer your friend).

Any relationship with someone else that jeopardizes your marriage is not a relationship worth keeping.

It is unfortunate that marriages have been broken apart due to a spouse’s inappropriate activities on Facebook.

If you or your spouse have crossed the line emotionally or physically with someone else, Not “Just” Friends, Marriage on the Mend: Tangible Tools to Restore Your Relationship, Unfaithful: Rebuilding Trust After Infidelity, Close Calls: What Adulterers Want You to Know About Protecting Your Marriage, and Torn Asunder: Recovering From an Extramarital Affaircan help you take steps to repair this serious breach.

Keep in mind the words from Hebrews 13, “Honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband. God draws a firm line against casual and illicit sex.” (The Message)

While Facebook is becoming one of the most popular gathering places on the internet, it doesn’t have to be a cyber threat to your marriage. Marriages are vulnerable to all kinds of online and real-life threats because the couples have failed to set up proper boundaries of protection and accountability.

[size=16pt]And while nothing is completely foolproof, these principles are practical tips to help you protect your most important and cherished relationship. Ultimately, it is up to you to make good decisions and wise choices and to have open lines of communication with your mate … whether you’re online or not.[/size] ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

K. Jason and Kelli Krafsky have been married since 1994 and are co-authors of Facebook and Your Marriage (2010). Jason and Kelli have co-written three blog articles (Our Top Dozen Do’s and Don’ts for Facebooking Couples, Is Facebook a Cyber-Threat to Your Marriage?, and How Facebook Can Improve Your Marriage) that have been widely distributed, written about and reposted.   Jason also authored Before “I Do” – Preparing for the Full Marriage Experience, an interactive premarital book for engaged and seriously dating couples. The Krafskys live in the foothills of Washington’s Cascade Mountains with their four children. Contact them at info@FBMarriage.com, on Twitter or through Facebook.

Copyright © 2009 K. Jason and Kelli Krafsky – Permission granted to use and reproduce with proper source citation.