₦airaland Forum

Blessedone26:
Yes....


Not ready to develop it yet. Fundwise


Thanks for your input

Demor1:
if you still have fund of building after buying the land then its better to build on your full plot except otherwise....moreso is the said land in a gated estate?

fof1:
If She has a Vagina.sure She can be broken with minimum pain. Do lots of indoor exercise prior to action. Play Children plays in d house around. I did use KY Jelly in my time for my Virgin wife,because of d initial Fear after seeing a Doctor in her Company at d BMH PH. Pls get this done without much force. She is supposed to be open to an extent if She had been engaged in Sporting activities b4 now,except Her Skin is tougher because of her age. Don't be afraid too but be tender and caring, Love this Lady. Goodluck and happy Parenting.

favoredchild:
Bro, I also experienced what your wife is experiencing but I overcame my own fear after like a month. Seriously I know what you guys are passing through because I have been there. But to be frank with you, sedative is not a good idea, you need to sit her down, tell her it's will be painful at first but she have to bear the pain. Nobody talked to me, I talked to myself because I realized my husband was suffering because of me. It wasn't easy because when I later made up my mind I had ties that lasted for weeks, I had to be doing seatbath and doctor also told us we had to continue because if it heals, we will go through the process again. Please be gentle with her, and keep trying, follow Donald instructions, it will really help. Sending you cheer

pmoye:
Hello Op.
First I must commend you for being very patient and supporting your wife. I had once come across a case very similar to yours, and after more than a year the couple had not been able to mutually penetrate each other. Yes, they tried all sort of things. They got family involved, with the wife's family having to pin down the wife for the man to insert his credit card while in that position... It did not work. They tried drugs and doctors and all. Sedatives, hypnotics... Nothing worked. I am afraid you too are already in your desperation for a solution making a fundamental mistake:

1.) You got external parties involved. As a man you should learn how to handle your family matter without involving others. You made a mess here already.
2.) You are the greater source of the problem, not your wife.

Why the No. 2.? You just admitted that after several months you did not know the hole you were supposed to slot in your credit card. Who knows if you had been sounding her anus all this while, and it's the excruciating pain of it that really caused the whole thing. At your age and for a man planning to get married you should have taken time to read up about sex. That's the least you could have done. At your age you don't know the position of cookie garden... This is not good at all. And you might be the source of this problem for your wife in the first place. Sex is never meant to be a punishment, but the most pleasant and the most beautiful experience in man's life.

For now, you have to go to the school of sex that you have skipped all your life. Forget about penetrating her cookie garden for now, and tell her so. Tell all the family members that you have misyarned to that all is now well with the two of you. Give yourselves space and the privacy that a marriage deserves. STOP, absolutely stop putting pressure on your wife to have sex. Instead go and learn how to use your tongue and your finger to make her cum. And yes, this is perfectly possible without penetrating. And then when she is eventually comfortable with your tongue and lips on her cookie garden, you will have done a lot to get her to a point where she will be more welcoming with respect to your pen.

In any case, it is neither a pharmacist nor a medical doctor that you are supposed to consult. It is a mental health expert, especially one subspecializing in sexual health that you need to see. Your solution is not in drugs.

pentsystems:
I have been in your shoes before with an older virgin .. The more older a woman gets the more painful it will for her .. I believe your dick is too big or you have a curve dick that is another complication itself .. all you need to do
Step 1 : fun play with her by kissing and sucking her boobs . Kiss and lick all the sensible part in her body

Step 2 : start by trying to insert a pencil or a finger inside her private part first you have to assure her first that all the pain only happens in a a second that once your finger is in that all pains will be gone you may need to hook her down while trying to insert your finger inside her no matter what don’t pity her and make sure you are fast enough to be successful in your first attempt of doing that never allow her tell you that your finger is so painful that she prefers your dick just tell her there is no logic there that since your finger cannot enter how possible will it be for something as hard and big as your dick to enter when your finger cannot enter .. when successful with that .. you try to stroke the part with your finger gently till she is very relaxed while you are stroking with her private part with a finger

Step 3 : when you notice she is well relaxed introduce a second finger inside her private part without telling her about it you will need to hook her down and make sure she does not overpower you into removing your fingers from inside her private part just shook it in and hook her even if she is crying don’t remove your finger you will feel that you tearing something while inserting your second finger just continue till the second finger is fully inside her then keep it inside her because if you remove it you have to start again from step 1 another day then start stroking deep with the 2 finger till she is comfortable with it .. you may need to introduce a third finger if you have a bigger or a curve dick .. after that remove your fingers make sure you don’t let her rest ..

Step 4 : Try using lubricant i recommend olive oil and not Vaseline on your dick then try inserting it into her private part I pray it goes in but if it does not tell her to come up and try inserting it herself definitely it will go in if you have done your finger job well .. Then you stroke her with your dick slowly and gently till you cum ..

Note : make sure you don’t put on ac and even if are using fan make sure you switch it to lowest .. because breeze dry some pussy faster making it more painful for her .. You can also give her alcohol maybe Best Cream drink or night train it will help her a lot to beat the fear..

Hope small boys no Dey here no be me teach una bad thing ooo

fatima8855:
Bro please visit hospital meet a doctor gynecologist explain to him u problem will be solve . My sister has the same problem the surgery was done in juth Jos (Jos university teaching hospitals) .

OChimex:
You wrote this story stupidly and in the process, many people may not understand clearly what the problem is.
why not write responsibly ..

Sterope:
Have you considered seeing a Gp? She may have Vaginismus. You may need to see a therapist/sex therapist to get it relaxed.

Blessedone26

Hhenryy:
Went through the whole comments on the front page, unfortunately nobody told you the truth.

Let me tell you the truth... Your wife has been Genitally mutilated (circumcised). You can ask her and she will confirm it.

Circumcision is an irreversible process so you have to deal with it. Fortunately it seems you don't have a high libido so you should be able to cope.

dasparrow:
Your wife has vaginismus. Go and google the word and read up on the condition. The problem now is, I doubt Nigerian medical doctors will know how to treat this medical condition. Even overseas, there are very few doctors who specialize in the treatment of vaginismus. The treatment will also require counseling as well over an extended period of time.

In a country like Nigeria where most have no health coverage or insurance, I can only imagine the pain women with the condition are going through along with societal ignorance of their medical condition. Hmmm.

Butoneday2:
Mr. Man let me tell if your not fuvcking does not mean that your wife is not fucking, she might have someone fucking her behind you. Is your so called wife a Virgin even if she's a virgin have you confirmed whether she's a virgin by putting your middle finger in there. Am smelling something, maybe your wife is a lesbian never can tell.

hardywaltz:
Person dey shine dat Congo

Donald3d:


I am about to go very raw, kindly permit me, I haven't gone this raw here before, but you need help, so here it is.
I hope this doesn't change people's perspectives about me sha , we Nigerians like been mute about sex. Its an important ingredient in marriage, no matter how spiritual you are.

The best way to solve any problem is identifying the source or root of the problem and eliminate it .

From what you have said, she enjoys pre-intimacy , I would have loved to ask what type of pre-initmacy to help find a solution, but I also understand she is your wife and you can't be too explicit because this is a public forum.

Anyway, as I said earlier, let's tackle the source of the problem, which is FEAR, she is afraid, very afraid, so we need to eliminate the fear.

She is also pressured because you are "reporting" her to people, keep this between both of you Sir, please stop involving other people, fear and pressure is a very dangerous combination.

Please don't give her any sedatives, you really don't need it.

The issue with her fear is closely related to why lubricant aren't even working, the internal muscles of her privates would contract making it tighter because she is afraid, her natural lubrication won't also be discharged because her fear is making her mind "switch" it off, coupled with the fact that you are also scared of inflicting injuries on her privates.

There are two possible ways to eliminate her fear

1.Trying to convince her not to be afraid (easier said than done)
2. Introducing something that would involuntarily eliminate her fear.

I assume you have tried number 1, let's go to number two.
There are a few things that are greater than fear, but we would be sticking to the subject matter.
In this context and with the peculiarity of the situation, there is only one thing I believe can exceed that fear ...... Pleasure , Excessive Pleasure, when a human experiences excessive pleasure, the body releases pain killers and anti-stress chemicals.

So what should you do ?
You need a non-invasive pleasure mechanism, proven and tested , the most painless sexual activity. Guaranteed to give utmost pleasure .
You guessed it , O r a l Sex.

Its isn't just about putting your mouth there , you need to do it right (forgive me as I am about to go a bit raw).

You know your wife more than anyone, you know what turns her on, her pleasure spots. Use your mouth very well on those spots.
You need to understand that there is a mission here. O r g a s m
But there are some "hot spots" common among most women

1. The nipples
2.The clitoris

I would focus on number 2 ..
1.Make sure the bed is well made, clean sheets, turn on the AC , if you don't have one, turn on the fan and leave it running to cool the room. Make sure no one else except the both of you is in your home, she needs to be comfortable.

2.Ensure you both have a warm bath and wash each others privates before you commence.You wash hers, she washes yours.Try and start up a conversation about some funny experiences you've both had, how you met each other and fell in love , how much you love her, all while washing each others privates. You are psychologically manipulating/distracting her with this.When you are done, dry each others body and carry her to the bed.Careful, so you don't slip and fall oo, you can leave that part out, but women love it !. You can back her like a baby or carry her in your arms, whichever you are ok with. Make sure she is unclad, but put on a boxers short, this eliminates her fears of seeing an erect instrument.

3.Its important you place a pillow under her waist to elevate her lower region, it allows for easy access with your mouth and with your instrument, when its time for insertion. It also ensures you don't feel neck pain and can breathe well during the process.

4.Use your mouth on the clitoris till she "explodes", don't stop no matter how long it takes, but you have to be careful not to be too hard on it as you would get the opposite of the desired effect, you would give her pain instead of pleasure. You need to be gentle and firm(I know this sounds contradictory, I would explain), use your lips as they are soft tissue, that won't cause much bruising, suck on it, in and out, grab the whole of it (the clitoris--- I have attached an image for easy identification, its that slightly protruding part of her privates that looks like a mini peeeenis) with your lips and gently slide it out of your mouth, without it leaving your mouth completely, make sure your lips holds unto it(this is what stimulate it and gives pleasure), but not too tightly, you can use your tongue as support to put the clitoris in place, if the clitoris is slipping out of your mouth. Keep repeating this back and forth.

5.Now, its important to hold her, so you can feel the "rhythm" of her body, hold her sides, or her laps, start out slowly, but not to slowly, gradually increase your "sucking pace" as you notice the rhythm of her body starts to change . This method ensures you don't bruise her and you also don't get tired easily.It also ensures a natural flow and gradual increase in pleasure.It would get to a point you might have to go really fast, this clouds her brain with pleasure, do this only when the rhythm of her body tells you to do so, when she starts to slightly wriggle or when she asks you to increase your pace.

6. Do this till she "explodes", and wriggles in pleasure, most likely at this point you are also erect, its important you take advantage of this moment, because at this point, you have killed three birds with one stone. She is too climaxed to notice her fear, her body has released enough chemicals to considerably reduce pain and she is properly lubricated for relatively easy insertion.Don't waste time !!!. Slowly (not too slowly), insert, before she comes back to reality . Make sure the pillow is still under her it ensures her lower region is elevated, so you can see clearly for insertion , I assume from the beginning she is already lying flat on her back, spread her legs out gently, this also relaxes/expands the cavity of her privates.If you still find it a bit difficult to penetrate, manually use both hands to spread the outer privates open for easy access, glide in back and forth as you both copulate to produce a wonderful seed that would bear fruit in 9 months.

7. You might need to do this more than once to be successful at it .
8.The fact that you did all this doesn't mean she might not feel pain, it just reduces the pain, it also might totally eliminate it.
9.Once you start have it in mind that you must see it through till the end.
10.If she is in excessive pain, stop and repeat the same day or another day till you get it done.


NOTE: Please stop reporting her to people, apart from the fear she is feeling, reporting her or telling other people about it, is putting her under additional pressure and stress, its adding to her Psychological lock-down. Please don't be upset with her. Buy her gifts, make her feel loved, make her understand you aren't judging her or upset with her. I am sure this steps would work for you

NB: I am married by the way, in case anyone was wondering.

Vyolet:
I can relate with Madam's action towards sex. It's psychological and she will live with the fear for long until she is psychologically ready.
Do not sedate her as you won't enjoy it and it will seem as though you are raping her. Allow her mother do the most talk and prepare her mind, she will come around.

Juell:
I think it's actually the lady's mum's fault for lying to her that sex is painful just to make her abstain from. And OP taking sedative for the first time is the worst decision.

Donald3d:


I am about to go very raw, kindly permit me, I haven't gone this raw here before, but you need help, so here it is.
I hope this doesn't change people's perspectives about me sha , we Nigerians like been mute about sex. Its an important ingredient in marriage, no matter how spiritual you are.

The best way to solve any problem is identifying the source or root of the problem and eliminate it .

From what you have said, she enjoys pre-intimacy , I would have loved to ask what type of pre-initmacy to help find a solution, but I also understand she is your wife and you can't be too explicit because this is a public forum.

Anyway, as I said earlier, let's tackle the source of the problem, which is FEAR, she is afraid, very afraid, so we need to eliminate the fear.

She is also pressured because you are "reporting" her to people, keep this between both of you Sir, please stop involving other people, fear and pressure is a very dangerous combination.

Please don't give her any sedatives, you really don't need it.

The issue with her fear is closely related to why lubricant aren't even working, the internal muscles of her privates would contract making it tighter because she is afraid, her natural lubrication won't also be discharged because her fear is making her mind "switch" it off, coupled with the fact that you are also scared of inflicting injuries on her privates.

There are two possible ways to eliminate her fear

1.Trying to convince her not to be afraid (easier said than done)
2. Introducing something that would involuntarily eliminate her fear.

I assume you have tried number 1, let's go to number two.
There are a few things that are greater than fear, but we would be sticking to the subject matter.
In this context and with the peculiarity of the situation, there is only one thing I believe can exceed that fear ...... Pleasure , Excessive Pleasure, when a human experiences excessive pleasure, the body releases pain killers and anti-stress chemicals.

So what should you do ?
You need a non-invasive pleasure mechanism, proven and tested , the most painless sexual activity. Guaranteed to give utmost pleasure .
You guessed it , O r a l Sex.

Its isn't just about putting your mouth there , you need to do it right (forgive me as I am about to go a bit raw).

You know your wife more than anyone, you know what turns her on, her pleasure spots. Use your mouth very well on those spots.
You need to understand that there is a mission here. O r g a s m
But there are some "hot spots" common among most women

1. The nipples
2.The clitoris

I would focus on number 2 ..
1.Make sure the bed is well made, clean sheets, turn on the AC , if you don't have one, turn on the fan and leave it running to cool the room. Make sure no one else except the both of you is in your home, she needs to be comfortable.

2.Ensure you both have a warm bath and wash each others privates before you commence.You wash hers, she washes yours.Try and start up a conversation about some funny experiences you've both had, how you met each other and fell in love , how much you love her, all while washing each others privates. You are psychologically manipulating/distracting her with this.When you are done, dry each others body and carry her to the bed.Careful, so you don't slip and fall oo, you can leave that part out, but women love it !. You can back her like a baby or carry her in your arms, whichever you are ok with. Make sure she is unclad, but put on a boxers short, this eliminates her fears of seeing an erect instrument.

3.Its important you place a pillow under her waist to elevate her lower region, it allows for easy access with your mouth and with your instrument, when its time for insertion. It also ensures you don't feel neck pain and can breathe well during the process.

4.Use your mouth on the clitoris till she "explodes", don't stop no matter how long it takes, but you have to be careful not to be too hard on it as you would get the opposite of the desired effect, you would give her pain instead of pleasure. You need to be gentle and firm(I know this sounds contradictory, I would explain), use your lips as they are soft tissue, that won't cause much bruising, suck on it, in and out, grab the whole of it (the clitoris--- I have attached an image for easy identification, its that slightly protruding part of her privates that looks like a mini peeeenis) with your lips and gently slide it out of your mouth, without it leaving your mouth completely, make sure your lips holds unto it(this is what stimulate it and gives pleasure), but not too tightly, you can use your tongue as support to put the clitoris in place, if the clitoris is slipping out of your mouth. Keep repeating this back and forth.

5.Now, its important to hold her, so you can feel the "rhythm" of her body, hold her sides, or her laps, start out slowly, but not to slowly, gradually increase your "sucking pace" as you notice the rhythm of her body starts to change . This method ensures you don't bruise her and you also don't get tired easily.It also ensures a natural flow and gradual increase in pleasure.It would get to a point you might have to go really fast, this clouds her brain with pleasure, do this only when the rhythm of her body tells you to do so, when she starts to slightly wriggle or when she asks you to increase your pace.

6. Do this till she "explodes", and wriggles in pleasure, most likely at this point you are also erect, its important you take advantage of this moment, because at this point, you have killed three birds with one stone. She is too climaxed to notice her fear, her body has released enough chemicals to considerably reduce pain and she is properly lubricated for relatively easy insertion.Don't waste time !!!. Slowly (not too slowly), insert, before she comes back to reality . Make sure the pillow is still under her it ensures her lower region is elevated, so you can see clearly for insertion , I assume from the beginning she is already lying flat on her back, spread her legs out gently, this also relaxes/expands the cavity of her privates.If you still find it a bit difficult to penetrate, manually use both hands to spread the outer privates open for easy access, glide in back and forth as you both copulate to produce a wonderful seed that would bear fruit in 9 months.

7. You might need to do this more than once to be successful at it .
8.The fact that you did all this doesn't mean she might not feel pain, it just reduces the pain, it also might totally eliminate it.
9.Once you start have it in mind that you must see it through till the end.
10.If she is in excessive pain, stop and repeat the same day or another day till you get it done.


NOTE: Please stop reporting her to people, apart from the fear she is feeling, reporting her or telling other people about it, is putting her under additional pressure and stress, its adding to her Psychological lock-down. Please don't be upset with her. Buy her gifts, make her feel loved, make her understand you aren't judging her or upset with her. I am sure this steps would work for you

NB: I am married by the way, in case anyone was wondering.

Sijo01:
pharmacist pharmacist upandan. Is there no hospitals/Doctors in your location

Oga, visit a sexologist with your wife in a general hospital instead of depending on a pharmacist.

Tripitaka:
OP brace yourself. A lot of people will elect to guilt-trip you for choosing to abstain till after your wedding forgetting that it's a life filled with choices and you have made yours. Even the proponents of "virgin or nothing" will join in the hypocrisy.

The "pain" in first time sex is more psychological than physical. Actually it isn't supposed to hurt though it does for some people. You have to take it slow, calm her down, use a lot of lubricants and exercise a whole lot of patience. Trust me, it can be frustrating and you may end up nutting before youngin entrance seeing that you're green.

That said, I'm curious as to how you told your parents-in-law about your inability to have sex with your wife. Did you say it in English or in your local dialect? Quite strange.