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We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage - Family - Nairaland

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We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by Blessedone26: 10:40am On Mar 10, 2020
Hi nairalanders,

I dated my wife for close to 8 years without sex, we went to same school. Though the decision of no sex before marriage was mine. Cos I am a very addictive person, I never wanted to be addicted to sex during my undergraduate days. She later told me she was a virgin then which I never believed and I told her I am not interested in her being a virgin or not.

Fast forward to our wedding night last year, naxo amaria begin they cry my daddy, my daddy, lets do this thing nah, nah tears full bed. So I took her to see her dad the next day and both of them were crying like a baby.

We got back to our location, we made several attempts with no sex, we've seen different pharmacists, we but different lubricants, but a touch of "pola" on the honeypot area, she will start crying of pains, she's so scared to the extreme. Confession: It was after 3 months that we've been trying that I was even also able to recognise the location of virginal, I had been putting the thing in a wrong place initially. cheesy ....sorry, ain't a bookworm but a bit spirikoko

I reported her to her parents , they came, brought diiferent lubricants, still we weren't able to reach the promise land grin . Now we've decided to go the way of sedative drugs .

Is there any side effects to the drugs?

Do I have to get her to sign a paper cos women ain't predictable, that she won't start shouting emotional trauma in the future that her husband drugged her to have the first sex with her. We need kids mehn.

Thanks..

127 Likes 8 Shares

Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by Tripitaka: 10:42am On Mar 10, 2020
OP brace yourself. A lot of people will elect to guilt-trip you for choosing to abstain till after your wedding forgetting that it's a life filled with choices and you have made yours. Even the proponents of "virgin or nothing" will join in the hypocrisy.

The "pain" in first time sex is more psychological than physical. Actually it isn't supposed to hurt though it does for some people. You have to take it slow, calm her down, use a lot of lubricants and exercise a whole lot of patience, while we hope that there is no underlying medical comdition.Trust me, it can be frustrating and you may end up nutting before you gain entrance seeing that you're green.

That said, I'm curious as to how you told your parents-in-law about your inability to have sex with your wife. Did you say it in English or in your local dialect? Quite strange.

923 Likes 53 Shares

Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by Donald3d(m): 10:49am On Mar 10, 2020
lipsrsealed

I am about to go very raw, kindly permit me, I haven't gone this raw here before, but you need help, so here it is.
I hope this doesn't change people's perspectives about me sha , we Nigerians like been mute about sex. Its an important ingredient in marriage, no matter how spiritual you are.

The best way to solve any problem is identifying the source or root of the problem and eliminate it .

From what you have said, she enjoys pre-intimacy , I would have loved to ask what type of pre-initmacy to help find a solution, but I also understand she is your wife and you can't be too explicit because this is a public forum.

Anyway, as I said earlier, let's tackle the source of the problem, which is FEAR, she is afraid, very afraid, so we need to eliminate the fear.

She is also pressured because you are "reporting" her to people, keep this between both of you Sir, please stop involving other people, fear and pressure is a very dangerous combination.

Please don't give her any sedatives, you really don't need it.

The issue with her fear is closely related to why lubricant aren't even working, the internal muscles of her privates would contract making it tighter because she is afraid, her natural lubrication won't also be discharged because her fear is making her mind "switch" it off, coupled with the fact that you are also scared of inflicting injuries on her privates.

There are two possible ways to eliminate her fear

1.Trying to convince her not to be afraid (easier said than done)
2. Introducing something that would involuntarily eliminate her fear.

I assume you have tried number 1, let's go to number two.
There are a few things that are greater than fear, but we would be sticking to the subject matter.
In this context and with the peculiarity of the situation, there is only one thing I believe can exceed that fear ...... Pleasure , Excessive Pleasure, when a human experiences excessive pleasure, the body releases pain killers and anti-stress chemicals.

So what should you do ?
You need a non-invasive pleasure mechanism, proven and tested , the most painless sexual activity. Guaranteed to give utmost pleasure .
You guessed it , O r a l Sex.

Its isn't just about putting your mouth there , you need to do it right (forgive me as I am about to go a bit raw).

You know your wife more than anyone, you know what turns her on, her pleasure spots. Use your mouth very well on those spots.
You need to understand that there is a mission here. O r g a s m
But there are some "hot spots" common among most women

1. The nipples
2.The clitoris

I would focus on number 2 ..
1.Make sure the bed is well made, clean sheets, turn on the AC , if you don't have one, turn on the fan and leave it running to cool the room. Make sure no one else except the both of you is in your home, she needs to be comfortable.

2.Ensure you both have a warm bath and wash each others privates before you commence.You wash hers, she washes yours.Try and start up a conversation about some funny experiences you've both had, how you met each other and fell in love , how much you love her, all while washing each others privates. You are psychologically manipulating/distracting her with this.When you are done, dry each others body and carry her to the bed.Careful, so you don't slip and fall oo, you can leave that part out, but women love it !. You can back her like a baby or carry her in your arms, whichever you are ok with. Make sure she is unclad, but put on a boxers short, this eliminates her fears of seeing an erect instrument.

3.Its important you place a pillow under her waist to elevate her lower region, it allows for easy access with your mouth and with your instrument, when its time for insertion. It also ensures you don't feel neck pain and can breathe well during the process.

4.Use your mouth on the clitoris till she "explodes", don't stop no matter how long it takes, but you have to be careful not to be too hard on it as you would get the opposite of the desired effect, you would give her pain instead of pleasure. You need to be gentle and firm(I know this sounds contradictory, I would explain), use your lips as they are soft tissue, that won't cause much bruising, suck on it, in and out, grab the whole of it (the clitoris--- I have attached an image for easy identification, its that slightly protruding part of her privates that looks like a mini peeeenis) with your lips and gently slide it out of your mouth, without it leaving your mouth completely, make sure your lips holds unto it(this is what stimulate it and gives pleasure), but not too tightly, you can use your tongue as support to put the clitoris in place, if the clitoris is slipping out of your mouth. Keep repeating this back and forth.

5.Now, its important to hold her, so you can feel the "rhythm" of her body, hold her sides, or her laps, start out slowly, but not to slowly, gradually increase your "sucking pace" as you notice the rhythm of her body starts to change . This method ensures you don't bruise her and you also don't get tired easily.It also ensures a natural flow and gradual increase in pleasure.It would get to a point you might have to go really fast, this clouds her brain with pleasure, do this only when the rhythm of her body tells you to do so, when she starts to slightly wriggle or when she asks you to increase your pace.

6. Do this till she "explodes", and wriggles in pleasure, most likely at this point you are also erect, its important you take advantage of this moment, because at this point, you have killed three birds with one stone. She is too climaxed to notice her fear, her body has released enough chemicals to considerably reduce pain and she is properly lubricated for relatively easy insertion.Don't waste time !!!. Slowly (not too slowly), insert, before she comes back to reality . Make sure the pillow is still under her it ensures her lower region is elevated, so you can see clearly for insertion , I assume from the beginning she is already lying flat on her back, spread her legs out gently, this also relaxes/expands the cavity of her privates.If you still find it a bit difficult to penetrate, manually use both hands to spread the outer privates open for easy access, glide in back and forth as you both copulate to produce a wonderful seed that would bear fruit in 9 months.

7. You might need to do this more than once to be successful at it .
8.The fact that you did all this doesn't mean she might not feel pain, it just reduces the pain, it also might totally eliminate it.
9.Once you start have it in mind that you must see it through till the end.
10.If she is in excessive pain, stop and repeat the same day or another day till you get it done.


NOTE: Please stop reporting her to people, apart from the fear she is feeling, reporting her or telling other people about it, is putting her under additional pressure and stress, its adding to her Psychological lock-down. Please don't be upset with her. Buy her gifts, make her feel loved, make her understand you aren't judging her or upset with her. I am sure this steps would work for you

NB: I am married by the way, in case anyone was wondering. wink

UPDATE !!!!! :

OP is making progress !!, I can't wait to chop naming ceremony rice smiley smiley cheesy grin

Blessedone26:





Bros, no vex, I didn't update the thread.


We are making progress. Atleast 50% during this quarantine period. She's now much more corporative since many people started asking her " how far". Thanks for your help sir.....
grin[quote author=Blessedone26 post=88094555]



Abeg, make una check my signature patronize me, make my wife no pursue me comot for house grin grin, I can help make your business grow online
I build professional and affordable MOBILE APPS and WEBSITES , I am also a Tech Consultant
wink

Follow me on twitter : www.twitter.com/LimitlessDonald smiley

1332 Likes 136 Shares

Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by Hisroyalbadmeat(m): 10:56am On Mar 10, 2020
Your wife is abnormal, undecided

21 Likes 3 Shares

Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by Olunmercy56(f): 11:05am On Mar 10, 2020
Hisroyalbadmeat:
Your wife is abnormal, undecided

See me rolling on the floor with laughter grin grin grin . The lady is normal, op and his wife should go to the hospital maybe there will be a solution.

50 Likes 3 Shares

Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by Sijo01(f): 11:05am On Mar 10, 2020
pharmacist pharmacist upandan. Is there no hospitals/Doctors in your location

Oga, visit a sexologist with your wife in a general hospital instead of depending on a pharmacist.

21 Likes

Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by Blessedone26: 11:08am On Mar 10, 2020
Tripitaka:
OP brace yourself. A lot of people will elect to guilt-trip you for choosing to abstain till after your wedding forgetting that it's a life filled with choices and you have made yours. Even the proponents of "virgin or nothing" will join in the hypocrisy.

The "pain" in first time sex is more psychological than physical. Actually it isn't supposed to hurt though it does for some people. You have to take it slow, calm her down, use a lot of lubricants and exercise a whole lot of patience. Trust me, it can be frustrating and you may end up nutting before youngin entrance seeing that you're green.

That said, I'm curious as to how you told your parents-in-law about your inability to have sex with your wife. Did you say it in English or in your local dialect? Quite strange.


Lolz... We've tried all, aside the first time pain, she's a fear fear type. "'All this oh my gosh....it's scary". The mum trained her with sex is painful. So she grew with that. And when it was time to get married too, the mum was avoiding the sex questions.


It's not something so hard to tell nah, we've known each other for over 7 years. She was praying for kids and I replied with " It doesn't jump on people". She then asked what I meant by that and I told her, her daughter is always running to the end of the bed whenever she sighted **ck. Though she enjoys the pre-intimacy. But closes up during penetration. So she's technically scared of penetration.

22 Likes 3 Shares

Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by Sijo01(f): 11:09am On Mar 10, 2020
Tripitaka:
OP brace yourself. A lot of people will elect to guilt-trip you for choosing to abstain till after your wedding forgetting that it's a life filled with choices and you have made yours. Even the proponents of "virgin or nothing" will join in the hypocrisy.

The "pain" in first time sex is more psychological than physical. Actually it isn't supposed to hurt though it does for some people. You have to take it slow, calm her down, use a lot of lubricants and exercise a whole lot of patience. Trust me, it can be frustrating and you may end up nutting before youngin entrance seeing that you're green.

That said, I'm curious as to how you told your parents-in-law about your inability to have sex with your wife. Did you say it in English or in your local dialect? Quite strange.

As in enh! Me I want to know too cheesy cheesy
To think they even bought them lubricants. cheesy cheesy
I wasn't looking forward to read where op will state they coach them how to do the do lipsrsealed

45 Likes 1 Share

Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by Blessedone26: 11:13am On Mar 10, 2020
Sijo01:
pharmacist pharmacist upandan. Is there no hospitals/Doctors in your location

Oga, visit a sexologist with your wife in a general hospital instead of depending on a pharmacist.


Sexotologist?....... Haven't heard of that, but I will give it a shot tomorrow morning.

6 Likes

Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by ichidodo(m): 11:16am On Mar 10, 2020
space booked

2 Likes

Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by Sijo01(f): 11:22am On Mar 10, 2020
Blessedone26:



Sexotologist?....... Haven't heard of that, but I will give it a shot tomorrow morning.

Please do. It will be better than the sedative way you wanted to settle for.

Apart from coaching you on how to go about it. You guys can also discuss your fears with him/her.

4 Likes 2 Shares

Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by Whyzaid(f): 11:22am On Mar 10, 2020
You need to help her libido by romancing her well and then you two can visit a doctor

4 Likes

Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by Juell(m): 11:49am On Mar 10, 2020
I think it's actually the lady's mum's fault for lying to her that sex is painful just to make her abstain from. And OP taking sedative for the first time is the worst decision.

18 Likes 2 Shares

Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by Vyolet(f): 11:52am On Mar 10, 2020
I can relate with Madam's action towards sex. It's psychological and she will live with the fear for long until she is psychologically ready.
Do not sedate her as you won't enjoy it and it will seem as though you are raping her. Allow her mother do the most talk and prepare her mind, she will come around. smiley

29 Likes 2 Shares

Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by Donald3d(m): 12:58pm On Mar 10, 2020
Blessedone26

I have updated my answer above, check it out...It should help.
Good luck

14 Likes

Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by wickyyolo: 1:05pm On Mar 10, 2020
Nah Yoruba girl ? I think she is lazy . If she cannot take dick, how can she give birth ?

31 Likes 1 Share

Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by Blessedone26: 1:32pm On Mar 10, 2020
Donald3d:
lipsrsealed

I am about to go very raw, kindly permit me, I haven't gone this raw here before, but you need help, so here it is.
I hope this doesn't change people's perspectives about me sha , we Nigerians like been mute about sex. Its an important ingredient in marriage, no matter how spiritual you are.

The best way to solve any problem is identifying the source or root of the problem and eliminate it .

From what you have said, she enjoys pre-intimacy , I would have loved to ask what type of pre-initmacy to help find a solution, but I also understand she is your wife and you can't be too explicit because this is a public forum.

Anyway, as I said earlier, let's tackle the source of the problem, which is FEAR, she is afraid, very afraid, so we need to eliminate the fear.

She is also pressured because you are "reporting" her to people, keep this between both of you Sir, please stop involving other people, fear and pressure is a very dangerous combination.

Please don't give her any sedatives, you really don't need it.

The issue with her fear is closely related to why lubricant aren't even working, the internal muscles of her privates would contract making it tighter because she is afraid, her natural lubrication won't also be discharged because her fear is making her mind "switch" it off, coupled with the fact that you are also scared of inflicting injuries on her privates.

There are two possible ways to eliminate her fear

1.Trying to convince her not to be afraid (easier said than done)
2. Introducing something that would involuntarily eliminate her fear.

I assume you have tried number 1, let's go to number two.
There are a few things that are greater than fear, but we would be sticking to the subject matter.
In this context and with the peculiarity of the situation, there is only one thing I believe can exceed that fear ...... Pleasure , Excessive Pleasure, when a human experiences excessive pleasure, the body releases pain killers and anti-stress chemicals.

So what should you do ?
You need a non-invasive pleasure mechanism, proven and tested , the most painless sexual activity. Guaranteed to give utmost pleasure .
You guessed it , O r a l Sex.

Its isn't just about putting your mouth there , you need to do it right (forgive me as I am about to go a bit raw).

You know your wife more than anyone, you know what turns her on, her pleasure spots. Use your mouth very well on those spots.
You need to understand that there is a mission here. O r g a s m
But there are some "hot spots" common among most women

1. The nipples
2.The clitoris

I would focus on number 2 ..
1.Make sure the bed is well made, clean sheets, turn on the AC , if you don't have one, turn on the fan and leave it running to cool the room. Make sure no one else except the both of you is in your home, she needs to be comfortable.

2.Ensure you both have a warm bath and wash each others privates before you commence.You wash hers, she washes yours.Try and start up a conversation about some funny experiences you've both had, how you met each other and fell in love , how much you love her, all while washing each others privates. You are psychologically manipulating/distracting her with this.When you are done, dry each others body and carry her to the bed.Careful, so you don't slip and fall oo, you can leave that part out, but women love it !. You can back her like a baby or carry her in your arms, whichever you are ok with. Make sure she is unclad, but put on a boxers short, this eliminates her fears of seeing an erect instrument.

3.Its important you place a pillow under her waist to elevate her lower region, it allows for easy access with your mouth and with your instrument, when its time for insertion. It also ensures you don't feel neck pain and can breathe well during the process.

4.Use your mouth on the clitoris till she "explodes", don't stop no matter how long it takes, but you have to be careful not to be too hard on it as you would get the opposite of the desired effect, you would give her pain instead of pleasure. You need to be gentle and firm(I know this sounds contradictory, I would explain), use your lips as they are soft tissue, that won't cause much bruising, suck on it, in and out, grab the whole of it (the clitoris--- I have attached an image for easy identification, its that slightly protruding part of her privates that looks like a mini peeeenis) with your lips and gently slide it out of your mouth, without it leaving your mouth completely, make sure your lips holds unto it(this is what stimulate it and gives pleasure), but not too tightly, you can use your tongue as support to put the clitoris in place, if the clitoris is slipping out of your mouth. Keep repeating this back and forth.

5.Now, its important to hold her, so you can feel the "rhythm" of her body, hold her sides, or her laps, start out slowly, but not to slowly, gradually increase your "sucking pace" as you notice the rhythm of her body starts to change . This method ensures you don't bruise her and you also don't get tired easily.It also ensures a natural flow and gradual increase in pleasure.It would get to a point you might have to go really fast, this clouds her brain with pleasure, do this only when the rhythm of her body tells you to do so, when she starts to slightly wriggle or when she asks you to increase your pace.

6. Do this till she "explodes", and wriggles in pleasure, most likely at this point you are also erect, its important you take advantage of this moment, because at this point, you have killed three birds with one stone. She is too climaxed to notice her fear, her body has released enough chemicals to considerably reduce pain and she is properly lubricated for relatively easy insertion.Don't waste time !!!. Slowly (not too slowly), insert, before she comes back to reality . Make sure the pillow is still under her it ensures her lower region is elevated, so you can see clearly for insertion , I assume from the beginning she is already lying flat on her back, spread her legs out gently, this also relaxes/expands the cavity of her privates.If you still find it a bit difficult to penetrate, manually use both hands to spread the outer privates open for easy access, glide in back and forth as you both copulate to produce a wonderful seed that would bear fruit in 9 months.

7. You might need to do this more than once to be successful at it .
8.The fact that you did all this doesn't mean she might not feel pain, it just reduces the pain, it also might totally eliminate it.
9.Once you start have it in mind that you must see it through till the end.
10.If she is in excessive pain, stop and repeat the same day or another day till you get it done.


NOTE: Please stop reporting her to people, apart from the fear she is feeling, reporting her or telling other people about it, is putting her under additional pressure and stress, its adding to her Psychological lock-down. Please don't be upset with her. Buy her gifts, make her feel loved, make her understand you aren't judging her or upset with her. I am sure this steps would work for you

NB: I am married by the way, in case anyone was wondering. wink





Thanks for this masterpiece. Seriously we are both tired, I have tried atleast 85% of this... The fear she has is involuntary. Once attempt is being made, you will see that fear written all over her face. We just both decided yesterday that the way out is sedative drug. The objective is to give birth, make enjoyment dey him dey for now.

44 Likes 3 Shares

Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by Blessedone26: 1:33pm On Mar 10, 2020
Juell:
I think it's actually the lady's mum's fault for lying to her that sex is painful just to make her abstain from. And OP taking sedative for the first time is the worst decision.


What's the disadvantage.

1 Like

Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by Blessedone26: 1:35pm On Mar 10, 2020
Vyolet:
I can relate with Madam's action towards sex. It's psychological and she will live with the fear for long until she is psychologically ready.
Do not sedate her as you won't enjoy it and it will seem as though you are raping her. Allow her mother do the most talk and prepare her mind, she will come around. smiley


Her words entered from the right ear and came out from the left.

1 Like

Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by Donald3d(m): 2:42pm On Mar 10, 2020
Blessedone26:




Thanks for this masterpiece. Seriously we are both tired, I have tried atleast 85% of this... The fear she has is involuntary. Once attempt is being made, you will see that fear written all over her face. We just both decided yesterday that the way out is sedative drug. The objective is to give birth, make enjoyment dey him dey for now.

Enjoyment makes it easy for conception my Oga .You just have to keep trying.
She would be very dry if you use the sedative drug, she might get injured too.
But if you feel that's the best last resort, use enough lubricant.
Abeg no go overdose madam oo, jokes apart, overdose of sedative drugs is dangerous.
I want to plead to keep trying the methods I listed at least for another month.
And if you still insist on a sedative drug, please see a doctor Sir, and let the doctor prescribe and work you through every safety precaution you need to know..I take God beg you.


As sedatives work by depressing the central nervous system, the overuse of the drugs can slow body functions to such a degree as to cause unconsciousness, respiratory failure, and death.

89 Likes 3 Shares

Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by Sexyliciousbri: 2:51pm On Mar 10, 2020
Vaginismus is a condition involving a muscle spasm in the pelvic floor muscles. It can make it painful, difficult, or impossible to have sexual intercourse.

43 Likes 3 Shares

Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by PropertyBuying(f): 3:19pm On Mar 10, 2020
Wonderful... You've really tried doing Justice to this man dilemma.

Donald3d:
lipsrsealed

I am about to go very raw, kindly permit me, I haven't gone this raw here before, but you need help, so here it is.
I hope this doesn't change people's perspectives about me sha , we Nigerians like been mute about sex. Its an important ingredient in marriage, no matter how spiritual you are.

The best way to solve any problem is identifying the source or root of the problem and eliminate it .

From what you have said, she enjoys pre-intimacy , I would have loved to ask what type of pre-initmacy to help find a solution, but I also understand she is your wife and you can't be too explicit because this is a public forum.

Anyway, as I said earlier, let's tackle the source of the problem, which is FEAR, she is afraid, very afraid, so we need to eliminate the fear.

She is also pressured because you are "reporting" her to people, keep this between both of you Sir, please stop involving other people, fear and pressure is a very dangerous combination.

Please don't give her any sedatives, you really don't need it.

The issue with her fear is closely related to why lubricant aren't even working, the internal muscles of her privates would contract making it tighter because she is afraid, her natural lubrication won't also be discharged because her fear is making her mind "switch" it off, coupled with the fact that you are also scared of inflicting injuries on her privates.

There are two possible ways to eliminate her fear

1.Trying to convince her not to be afraid (easier said than done)
2. Introducing something that would involuntarily eliminate her fear.

I assume you have tried number 1, let's go to number two.
There are a few things that are greater than fear, but we would be sticking to the subject matter.
In this context and with the peculiarity of the situation, there is only one thing I believe can exceed that fear ...... Pleasure , Excessive Pleasure, when a human experiences excessive pleasure, the body releases pain killers and anti-stress chemicals.

So what should you do ?
You need a non-invasive pleasure mechanism, proven and tested , the most painless sexual activity. Guaranteed to give utmost pleasure .
You guessed it , O r a l Sex.

Its isn't just about putting your mouth there , you need to do it right (forgive me as I am about to go a bit raw).

You know your wife more than anyone, you know what turns her on, her pleasure spots. Use your mouth very well on those spots.
You need to understand that there is a mission here. O r g a s m
But there are some "hot spots" common among most women

1. The nipples
2.The clitoris

I would focus on number 2 ..
1.Make sure the bed is well made, clean sheets, turn on the AC , if you don't have one, turn on the fan and leave it running to cool the room. Make sure no one else except the both of you is in your home, she needs to be comfortable.

2.Ensure you both have a warm bath and wash each others privates before you commence.You wash hers, she washes yours.Try and start up a conversation about some funny experiences you've both had, how you met each other and fell in love , how much you love her, all while washing each others privates. You are psychologically manipulating/distracting her with this.When you are done, dry each others body and carry her to the bed.Careful, so you don't slip and fall oo, you can leave that part out, but women love it !. You can back her like a baby or carry her in your arms, whichever you are ok with. Make sure she is unclad, but put on a boxers short, this eliminates her fears of seeing an erect instrument.

3.Its important you place a pillow under her waist to elevate her lower region, it allows for easy access with your mouth and with your instrument, when its time for insertion. It also ensures you don't feel neck pain and can breathe well during the process.

4.Use your mouth on the clitoris till she "explodes", don't stop no matter how long it takes, but you have to be careful not to be too hard on it as you would get the opposite of the desired effect, you would give her pain instead of pleasure. You need to be gentle and firm(I know this sounds contradictory, I would explain), use your lips as they are soft tissue, that won't cause much bruising, suck on it, in and out, grab the whole of it (the clitoris--- I have attached an image for easy identification, its that slightly protruding part of her privates that looks like a mini peeeenis) with your lips and gently slide it out of your mouth, without it leaving your mouth completely, make sure your lips holds unto it(this is what stimulate it and gives pleasure), but not too tightly, you can use your tongue as support to put the clitoris in place, if the clitoris is slipping out of your mouth. Keep repeating this back and forth.

5.Now, its important to hold her, so you can feel the "rhythm" of her body, hold her sides, or her laps, start out slowly, but not to slowly, gradually increase your "sucking pace" as you notice the rhythm of her body starts to change . This method ensures you don't bruise her and you also don't get tired easily.It also ensures a natural flow and gradual increase in pleasure.It would get to a point you might have to go really fast, this clouds her brain with pleasure, do this only when the rhythm of her body tells you to do so, when she starts to slightly wriggle or when she asks you to increase your pace.

6. Do this till she "explodes", and wriggles in pleasure, most likely at this point you are also erect, its important you take advantage of this moment, because at this point, you have killed three birds with one stone. She is too climaxed to notice her fear, her body has released enough chemicals to considerably reduce pain and she is properly lubricated for relatively easy insertion.Don't waste time !!!. Slowly (not too slowly), insert, before she comes back to reality . Make sure the pillow is still under her it ensures her lower region is elevated, so you can see clearly for insertion , I assume from the beginning she is already lying flat on her back, spread her legs out gently, this also relaxes/expands the cavity of her privates.If you still find it a bit difficult to penetrate, manually use both hands to spread the outer privates open for easy access, glide in back and forth as you both copulate to produce a wonderful seed that would bear fruit in 9 months.

7. You might need to do this more than once to be successful at it .
8.The fact that you did all this doesn't mean she might not feel pain, it just reduces the pain, it also might totally eliminate it.
9.Once you start have it in mind that you must see it through till the end.
10.If she is in excessive pain, stop and repeat the same day or another day till you get it done.


NOTE: Please stop reporting her to people, apart from the fear she is feeling, reporting her or telling other people about it, is putting her under additional pressure and stress, its adding to her Psychological lock-down. Please don't be upset with her. Buy her gifts, make her feel loved, make her understand you aren't judging her or upset with her. I am sure this steps would work for you

NB: I am married by the way, in case anyone was wondering. wink


Yes, we believe you that you're married but you must be a sexologist to know so these process and to have educatively delivered what a seems like a solution!

117 Likes 1 Share

Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by Kendumazy(m): 3:22pm On Mar 10, 2020
This is funny mheen

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by LadySarah: 3:36pm On Mar 10, 2020
Keep fantasizing.

5 Likes 2 Shares

Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by Ginaz(f): 4:04pm On Mar 10, 2020
This story looks somehow abeg I can’t fit can!!

Which Nigerian man won’t know the right hole to have sex? To the extent it took you 3 months to locate the vagina. Don’t your wife know her own Vagina to direct you to it that she has to keep quiet for 3 months? Didn’t they teach you biology in school?

This story is quack on arrival . What an odd couple if this story is true!! sad

145 Likes 10 Shares

Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by Sixfeetbelle: 4:25pm On Mar 10, 2020
Ginaz:
This story looks somehow abeg I can’t fit can!!

Which Nigerian man won’t know the right hole to have sex? To the extent it took you 3 months to locate the vagina. Don’t your wife know her own Vagina to direct you to it that she has to keep quiet for 3 months? Didn’t they teach you biology in school?

This story is quack on arrival . What an odd couple if this story is true!! sad

Frankly speaking, Biology didn't tell me where exactly my vagina was or the connection it had with a Penis. Of course, it told us the two organs met to form a baby but it wasn't explicit on how that process was achieved.

I read a sex education manual when I was 15 and a female corp member (our form teacher) then was convinced by us to expantiate on the matter. So, by the time I was about to write waec, I had a fairly good idea how sex worked.

45 Likes 1 Share

Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by Donald3d(m): 5:21pm On Mar 10, 2020
Ginaz:
This story looks somehow abeg I can’t fit can!!

Which Nigerian man won’t know the right hole to have sex? To the extent it took you 3 months to locate the vagina. Don’t your wife know her own Vagina to direct you to it that she has to keep quiet for 3 months? Didn’t they teach you biology in school?

This story is quack on arrival . What an odd couple if this story is true!! sad

Sis, you have no idea how much people don't know about their own bodies.
For example, I laugh when I hear about some ladies urinating after sex to prevent pregnancy, thinking the urine would push/flush the sperm out, they don't know the urine has a totally different and separate passage !!!.
We learn everyday cool

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Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by faithfull18(f): 6:10pm On Mar 10, 2020
Funny thread grin

1 Like

Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by worworbabe: 7:50pm On Mar 10, 2020
Congratulations for keeping your virginity. Like someone said, don't allow anybody to make you feel guilty about it.

Now the least you could have done is check the female anatomy out and read some books before the d-day. Although nothing could have properly prepared you, it would have helped in a bit.

18 Likes

Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by missimelda01(f): 7:58pm On Mar 10, 2020
Male virgins embarassed
Oh no please

6 Likes

Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by Depriest2020: 8:10pm On Mar 10, 2020
Donald3d bad guy. grin
Donald3d:
lipsrsealed

I am about to go very raw, kindly permit me, I haven't gone this raw here before, but you need help, so here it is.
I hope this doesn't change people's perspectives about me sha , we Nigerians like been mute about sex. Its an important ingredient in marriage, no matter how spiritual you are.

The best way to solve any problem is identifying the source or root of the problem and eliminate it .

From what you have said, she enjoys pre-intimacy , I would have loved to ask what type of pre-initmacy to help find a solution, but I also understand she is your wife and you can't be too explicit because this is a public forum.

Anyway, as I said earlier, let's tackle the source of the problem, which is FEAR, she is afraid, very afraid, so we need to eliminate the fear.

She is also pressured because you are "reporting" her to people, keep this between both of you Sir, please stop involving other people, fear and pressure is a very dangerous combination.

Please don't give her any sedatives, you really don't need it.

The issue with her fear is closely related to why lubricant aren't even working, the internal muscles of her privates would contract making it tighter because she is afraid, her natural lubrication won't also be discharged because her fear is making her mind "switch" it off, coupled with the fact that you are also scared of inflicting injuries on her privates.

There are two possible ways to eliminate her fear

1.Trying to convince her not to be afraid (easier said than done)
2. Introducing something that would involuntarily eliminate her fear.

I assume you have tried number 1, let's go to number two.
There are a few things that are greater than fear, but we would be sticking to the subject matter.
In this context and with the peculiarity of the situation, there is only one thing I believe can exceed that fear ...... Pleasure , Excessive Pleasure, when a human experiences excessive pleasure, the body releases pain killers and anti-stress chemicals.

So what should you do ?
You need a non-invasive pleasure mechanism, proven and tested , the most painless sexual activity. Guaranteed to give utmost pleasure .
You guessed it , O r a l Sex.

Its isn't just about putting your mouth there , you need to do it right (forgive me as I am about to go a bit raw).

You know your wife more than anyone, you know what turns her on, her pleasure spots. Use your mouth very well on those spots.
You need to understand that there is a mission here. O r g a s m
But there are some "hot spots" common among most women

1. The nipples
2.The clitoris

I would focus on number 2 ..
1.Make sure the bed is well made, clean sheets, turn on the AC , if you don't have one, turn on the fan and leave it running to cool the room. Make sure no one else except the both of you is in your home, she needs to be comfortable.

2.Ensure you both have a warm bath and wash each others privates before you commence.You wash hers, she washes yours.Try and start up a conversation about some funny experiences you've both had, how you met each other and fell in love , how much you love her, all while washing each others privates. You are psychologically manipulating/distracting her with this.When you are done, dry each others body and carry her to the bed.Careful, so you don't slip and fall oo, you can leave that part out, but women love it !. You can back her like a baby or carry her in your arms, whichever you are ok with. Make sure she is unclad, but put on a boxers short, this eliminates her fears of seeing an erect instrument.

3.Its important you place a pillow under her waist to elevate her lower region, it allows for easy access with your mouth and with your instrument, when its time for insertion. It also ensures you don't feel neck pain and can breathe well during the process.

4.Use your mouth on the clitoris till she "explodes", don't stop no matter how long it takes, but you have to be careful not to be too hard on it as you would get the opposite of the desired effect, you would give her pain instead of pleasure. You need to be gentle and firm(I know this sounds contradictory, I would explain), use your lips as they are soft tissue, that won't cause much bruising, suck on it, in and out, grab the whole of it (the clitoris--- I have attached an image for easy identification, its that slightly protruding part of her privates that looks like a mini peeeenis) with your lips and gently slide it out of your mouth, without it leaving your mouth completely, make sure your lips holds unto it(this is what stimulate it and gives pleasure), but not too tightly, you can use your tongue as support to put the clitoris in place, if the clitoris is slipping out of your mouth. Keep repeating this back and forth.

5.Now, its important to hold her, so you can feel the "rhythm" of her body, hold her sides, or her laps, start out slowly, but not to slowly, gradually increase your "sucking pace" as you notice the rhythm of her body starts to change . This method ensures you don't bruise her and you also don't get tired easily.It also ensures a natural flow and gradual increase in pleasure.It would get to a point you might have to go really fast, this clouds her brain with pleasure, do this only when the rhythm of her body tells you to do so, when she starts to slightly wriggle or when she asks you to increase your pace.

6. Do this till she "explodes", and wriggles in pleasure, most likely at this point you are also erect, its important you take advantage of this moment, because at this point, you have killed three birds with one stone. She is too climaxed to notice her fear, her body has released enough chemicals to considerably reduce pain and she is properly lubricated for relatively easy insertion.Don't waste time !!!. Slowly (not too slowly), insert, before she comes back to reality . Make sure the pillow is still under her it ensures her lower region is elevated, so you can see clearly for insertion , I assume from the beginning she is already lying flat on her back, spread her legs out gently, this also relaxes/expands the cavity of her privates.If you still find it a bit difficult to penetrate, manually use both hands to spread the outer privates open for easy access, glide in back and forth as you both copulate to produce a wonderful seed that would bear fruit in 9 months.

7. You might need to do this more than once to be successful at it .
8.The fact that you did all this doesn't mean she might not feel pain, it just reduces the pain, it also might totally eliminate it.
9.Once you start have it in mind that you must see it through till the end.
10.If she is in excessive pain, stop and repeat the same day or another day till you get it done.


NOTE: Please stop reporting her to people, apart from the fear she is feeling, reporting her or telling other people about it, is putting her under additional pressure and stress, its adding to her Psychological lock-down. Please don't be upset with her. Buy her gifts, make her feel loved, make her understand you aren't judging her or upset with her. I am sure this steps would work for you

NB: I am married by the way, in case anyone was wondering. wink


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