₦airaland Forum

There’s a thin line between life and death, love and hate, lies and truth, knowledge and ignorance, wisdom and folly, morality and immoralities, love and lust.
As little as it is, it doesn’t cost much to cross the boundary when you take the slightest chance or ignore warning signals.
I know of many brothers and sisters who were God’s will for each other but down the line, they crossed the boundary and their relationship ended in lust. They were sanctioned and their wedding was postponed. Some could not bear the shame and punishment, left for another church to have their wedding. Why did this happen?
There are two dimensions of love. It can either be expressed or practiced as an art (lovemaking). Many teenagers or adults mix up these two dimensional forms of love.
For instance, a guy that sees sex as an experiment, will tell his girlfriend to prove love to him. He did not demand for the expression of love but the practice of it – lovemaking.
Some ladies might even think that the expression of love is in lovemaking. This is wrong and the major reasons why many a relationship fails, end in heart break, immoralities or emotional trauma.
Lust on the other hand is a gratification of carnal desires. It cannot wait for sex in marriage, it wants to explore kissing, handling, petting, caressing and the likes before marriage or outside marriage. The end point of lust is death or destruction.
It’s very possible to cross the line from love to lust when you break certain principles. What are these principles?follow more on www.hisamazingrace.com

The worth of a woman is not about how expensive her jewelry, makeup, clothing or shoes are. It’s even more costly than what she uses to adorn her physical appearance.
A lot of ladies felt that being physically attractive and endowed are all that is important. But little did they know that the real worth of a woman is about the quality of her character. When other things fail, it is her character that keeps her attractive.
Quite a lot of ladies in this age are often characterized by lacking good moral standards. The way some of them behaves, relate or converse with their mates and elders are appalling. Some because they don’t want to take trash would treat you as a piece of trash.
Mind you, they’ll wish to be married to a nice man while having a dent in their character. Is that possible? There are several factors that makes a woman a treasure in life but for the sake of this piece, I’d concentrate more on the quality of her character.
Character defines who a person is, it’s a distinctive feature that a person is known for. Good character spreads beyond where you get to and bad ones also spread faster.
When your name is heard, what can be said of you in one sentence? I know men also have character issues but would deal with that in subsequent article.
What defines a lady’s character is her belief and who she allows to influence her. Show me your friends and I’ll tell who you are. The kind of female friends you keep to a large extent define what kind of character you’ll be known for should you allow them to influence you.
When you walk with a lady who’s rash in her words, you’ll soon become like her because you’d believe it’s proper to spill out words without having a taste of them.
Do your friends have regards for elderly ones? Do they have courtesy, respect and piety? Watch who you walk with lest you become like them.
Concerning your belief, what do you believe in? Do you believe in good morals or loose morals? Do you believe in God or you choose to believe in human philosophy that contradicts godly virtues?
Sad to say this, a lot of ladies ignored the home training they received while some weren’t properly trained. Don’t believe in your beauty; character matters most. It takes beauty to attract a man but character keeps you in marriage.
Having academic excellence, career success, financial independence, exposure or you’re spiritually sound without having a good character is nothing but a waste. When you believe in ephemeral things as the true worth of a woman, you’ll tend to ignore working on your character.
Don’t choose to be like a celebrity, become who God wants you to be and let His word mold your being. Peter admonish women not to focus on external beauty but that they should possess a meek and quiet spirit (1 Pet. 3:3-4). God is not interested in your hairdos, or how expensive your jewelry and clothes are, He respect women like Esther, Sarah, Abigail and others.
In case you don’t know, your character would determine how you’d fare well with your in-laws, I hope someone reading this isn’t amongst those who wished their mother-in-law shouldn’t be alive. No matter how cruel she might be, a good character will overcome the bad ones.
Don’t allow civilization or westernized culture erode your values and culture. It’s not old-fashioned to give respect to your elders as some culture does by kneeling. Do not forget that a good character speaks volumes about who you are.
Know how to show respect to the male folks for those who deserve it. And if they don’t, politely deal with them rather than be rude and harsh.
Work on your character should you notice any flaws in it. Be polite. Don’t be ill-mannered, disrespectful, proud, worldly or rash with your words. Remember, a beautiful woman without a beautiful character is not better than a woman with an enviable character...www.hisamazingrace.com

I remember my first time experience about love shortly after my secondary school education. I never had any relationship during my secondary school years. But, this came unexpected. It happened that there was a lady I admired and we became friends. We both pursued the same passion in the same department in church. We found it easy to get along, do extracurricular activities after church service. Not minding the distance of her house from mine, I’ll go to her place where we chat and spend time together. The relationship was godly and there’s no sinful habit.
In no time, we became family friends as our parents knew each other and our siblings too were friends. Few months down the line, here comes a new member, a brother who joined us in the department and before I’d say Jesus is Lord, he got her attention. She no longer comes to my house as before. I became jealous because I sensed rivalry. Her mom also knew about it. I felt pained and almost heart broken.
Should I have fought for love? Why was I jealous when someone else bought her affection?
When you’re in love, there’s every tendency to desire protection of whom you’re in love with. Because of your affection, intimacy and emotional connection, you’d never want anyone to overthrow the position you occupy in the heart of who you love. Hence, you’ll do all it takes to secure the love.
To secure that emotional oneness you shared, first you become jealous and then sensitive to anyone that could act as a rival. It’s normal to be jealous. But it is when jealousy gets to the extreme that envy, rage and fight would come up all in the name of love.
Why do people gets jealous when they begin to sense rivalry or emotional encroachment?
Do you know that God is love? Love is not all about sexual fantasies, immoralities and sex; it has to do with commitment and improving the life of whom you love. Hence, it’s not heresy to say God is a jealous God. Does it sound weird? In Deuteronomy four verse twenty-four, God is a consuming fire and a jealous God.
God will never share His glory with anyone. In the Gospels, He requested that man must love Him with all his heart, soul, strength and might (Luke 10:27). He doesn’t want anything or anyone to come in between you and Him. This is why He’s jealous.
When you love your spouse or partner, it’s normal to be jealous when you sense a rivalry. But the jealousy shouldn’t lead to aggression or cause fight between the rival. It’s not love when you’re not jealous but when the jealousy becomes extreme that it leads to a fight, it’s no longer love but rage.
Similarly, when jealousy begins to make you feel possessive or monitoring your spouse’s life, then it’s not love but lust. Love is kind and not controlling. A bit of jealousy is needed to make a person feel special. But when you’re not bothered if a rival comes or not, it shows a lackadaisical attitude about love. Or perhaps you don’t treasure whom you love.
Don’t get overly protective or controlling because you don’t want a rival. It’s normal for rivalry to occur even when you’re married. Some men would still desire to have you having seen a wedding band on your finger, you only have to remain faithful to your marital vows or whom you’re engaged to.
Love is jealous but going the extreme makes it worse and immature. It’s weird for a lady to be fighting because of rivalry or a man to engage in throwing punches or to do evil against someone who took the affection of whom you love.
A person that’s truly in love with you, though would have suitors but would ensure to remain faithful despite the advances. If God is jealous of securing His love relationship with man, then you must jealously secure your love for your spouse or partner but not to the extreme...www.hisamazingrace.com

One major battle that is peculiar to both single and the married is this thing called sex. I called it a ‘thing’ because it’s abstract but yet powerful. It has wounded many great men and women whom God has destined to become problem solvers in their generation, yet, it made them problem-mongers.
Both singles and the married have created the problems of sexually transmitted diseases, unwanted pregnancy, abortion, unprepared motherhood, the birth of illegitimate children, ‘baby mamas’ and other problems too numerous to mention.
Singles who are yet to discover their purpose and solve problems for their generations are busy chasing ‘pants and boxers’. Many destines have been misdirected by their erection and daughters of Zion had been made harlots due to their unguarded emotions.
Yet the married aren’t left out. They who are meant to ensure continuity and fulfillment in their supposed discovered purpose are busy entertaining extramarital affairs due to some ‘logical’ and unreasonable excuses.
Is it a crime for God to have created sex and its instinct in man? I’m sure you know the answer! But why are singles and married still becoming victims of this thing?
This is the reason, not reasons but just one simple but uncommon thing – understanding.
Do you know that understanding is not understanding when you’re blinded to see the consequence of an action but you indulge in it for flimsy excuse?
It is lack of understanding that would make singles see pleasure in sex before marriage, while the married would commit such detestable act on a revenge mission or for some reasons not genuine but ‘logical’.
That everybody is doing it doesn’t make it right. That the society gives you proof to see the rightness in it doesn’t make it true. Scientists didn’t create sex but God did.
A man that lacks understanding will ‘sleep’ with someone else’s wife on the grounds that she’s my girlfriend (Proverbs 6:29, 32 emp.add). Ladies, don’t be deceived and destroyed, not all girlfriends will become a wife. In fact, any relationship you keep that violates God’s law will destroy you.
If his erection ‘blinds’ him to persuade you for premarital sex, don’t allow your emotions too be blind not to see the realities and be ignorantly exposed to the consequences of his ‘love’.
And to the married, why would you embrace extramarital sex when you have a spouse that can give you inconsequential sex? I know it could be caused by several reasons but if seeking wise counsel and allowing wisdom take the lead role doesn’t work, why not give prayer a try?
Going out because they refuse you sex is not a cure to the issue, it’ll only create more problems in your life and marriage. How would you feel if your children knows that you’re adulterous? What legacy would you leave and teach?
Premarital sex or extramarital sex is only a tool in the hands of the devil to destroy lives, ruin families and thwart promising careers and ministries. And only a shallow minded being would see pleasure in this abominable act while their lives are being mortgage on a platter of temporary enjoyment.
The devil isn’t wise but he’s knowledgeable than many people. He knows the consequence of premarital and extramarital sex but he will make many ignorant of what’s at stake while he paints the pleasure as beautiful and irresistible.
He paints ‘poison’ colorful but hides the venom and pain. He beautifies sin but hides its consequence, he’ll make sex before and outside marriage looks pleasurable but he’ll hide the destruction that comes with it.
Hence, to escape being destroyed through premarital or extramarital sex, you need understanding. You cannot get understanding from the society even if you have PhD in Sexology.for more on this,visit..www.hisamazingrace.com

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