4 people

columbus007:
I hope you didn't open dis thread then in other to play the victims card

Naaaah!!...was just super depressed at the time.

firstking01:
My sister, just lick your wounds and move on....we all at one poin in life get cheated even for the good things we do...being able to let go and move on only makes you a stronger person and not a loser...

Thanks, you are correct... I've moved on.

chronique:
Sad story. The ones who love wth their all,always get trampled upon. Good intentions never win;were you able to keep the child?

That's the irony of life. No, I didn't.

columbus007:
Op, life is beautiful,life is precious,look on the brighter side of Life,be strong and find strenght even in your own weakness,ur case is too little compare to another and if you wanna try go out and find out and see if you won't smile back home,he's moved on right?so why do you concieve in mind to stop ur own precious life? Love ur daugher and embrace ur unborn child and most importantly be happy and see if you won't find joy again.

Unborn child? Lol... that was Nov/dec 2015,I didn't go through with it and I have no regrets... I'm actually a much better person and I can say confidently that I'm happy...
Thanks for the encouragement tho.

BlaqCoffee109:
@BrokenPearl...babygal, please gal don't abort that innocent baby! that's not the solution..you won't be able to live with yourself afterwards..its a tough call but one you'd be glad you made eventually! Be around your folks at a time like this to heal...karma is a b!tch and there's payday..the loser will get it wherever he is...right now,you need to be strong for your baby girl and the unborn child...you will smile someday you will see..are you gainfully employed? if no,work on getting a business together..you will heal, trust me its not the end of the world as someday you'd meet a man thats worth your love and the kids..one who will love you like you are supposed to be loved.

Thanks, I wish it could be as easy as you typed. But sadly, I can't begin to burden my family with another baby, I'm not employed, neither do I have the means to start a business. Abortion wasn't an easy decision for me to reach, but its actually the best solution for my problems. I've already suffered and endured a whole lot before, can't continue or add to my sufferings plus, it would make it very very difficult for me to move past my daughter's daddy.
Thanks again.

Rone16:
Then be both a mum and dad to your kids..giving a child up is hard.You will never stop thinking of that child and how the child feels without you.Dont you have relatives to financially help you?

My family would just kill me if they found out.
They managed to swallow their pride and assist me with one and will now hear there's another on the way? My mom would just die of HBP(God forbid), I can't even begin to imagine their reaction, they'll cut me off, totally. I can't do that do them.

bim2:
you can get gynaecocid I think that is the spelling from the chemist that works for late period of up to 3 months i think.
I really don't trust all these doctors as per your womb for the abortion part,u don't want to compound another problem with another one.
All you're going through now is a phase,hold on tight n focus on other things dear,it will get better,might take a while but just hold on.
It is well with you

Thanks, i'll look it up, meanwhile a friend told me about mistoprostol, and she says it's safe, only very painful. The DNC gives me nightmares, I've never been through it, it's my second pregnancy ever.

tpiar:
You can check this thread as well, maybe it can help:

https://www.nairaland.com/2414333/need-how-battle-depression

Thanks

Tdunjoye:
be strong woman, be strong, your story is... With time, it will all fade and you will be celebrated.

Yeah..it would fade...but the scar?
Only God can see me through this.

tpiar:
In short, you, an angel, got pregnant twice for your devil boyfriend.


In any case, whose story is this? Obviously its not yours.

My story..my life, my current situation. I'm not an angel, I definitely have my flaws, im a humanbeing, but in terms of this relationship, I was the best a woman could ever be.
I only failed to give myself worth, I gave him my all on a platter of gold, he never fought for it, hence, it ended the way it did.

MathsChic:

We make mistakes in life. But we shouldn't punish ourselves for these mistakes. Your story really touched me. I'm trying to imagine how you feel now deep inside, but I'm sure my best efforts can't accomplish that.
In the end, you don't let other people's actions dictate the results of your life. You deserve to the happy, to have a man to care for you, just as every other lady desires. Don't let your previous relationship be the reason why you shouldn't experience this happiness.

My dear, I don't even wish my enemy what I'm going through, I cry myself to sleep every night and wake up in between to still cry. Sometimes, I wish for a tragedy that'll end my life once and for all... the only thing that keeps me going is my baby girl.
I'll try to heed your advice, but that man, who will even consider loving me wouldn't even get the best of me, not after all these, I don't think I still have it in me to ever show a man love and affection.
I gave my daughter's daddy everything and he could let go of me without even thinking us through, I even went to beg him and he told me I've just been wasting my time, he can never love me. But he used me to climb up the ladder and pushed me away now he feels he can do better.
It's well, I never ever be a fool again to any man.

MathsChic:

This is a delicate one. But do you still have a lot on your plate? Like school? Does he appear like someone that can take very good care of her? If that's the case, you could consider giving him custody and working out a reasonable arrangement that will have you see her and share almost equal time with her. Sorry, but if you still have a lot to achieve and are not financially okay, you may cost her a good life simply because you want to keep her. It's best to ensure the better decision is made in the interest of the child.

However, if he doesn't appear like he could take care of her well enough, then you have no choice but to do it. Is your financial status okay in this area? Keep your heart open. I'm sure you find another guy who will take the best care of you.

I have just about 6months to go in school, Her daddy would be a terrible influence on her, his upbringing is terrible and he shares the same mentality as his mom who raised him. I can't even trust them to raise my child without my supervision. My finance is on the average, my family meets her needs.
As for my heart, I can't even keep it open, I can't even think of ever loving anybody again, not after my experience, Most men are just pure evil in disguise.
My daughter gives me hope, I can't hand her over.
Thanks again.

MathsChic:

If you can't keep the baby, you should consider abortion. Pro-lifers here will scream at you, but you should know they'd probably do the same if they were in your situation. Only the person wearing the shoe knows where it hurts. Abort it, raise your other child well. Talk to him about taking responsibility for the child. If he refuses, you might be left with no choice but to do it yourself. However, maintain a positive outlook on life and things will surely turn out positively differently for you. Godspeed.

Thanks so much, he's not taking responsibility currently. He wants custody, he says if I want him to cater for her, I should hand her over (which I will never ever do).

Rone16:
Self pity is the worst thing you can do to yourself.He moved on Yeah!you're allowed to cry and all but not for long.Once the crying days are over,wipe your tears,stand up and make him regret ever leaving you and make other guys bow down at your feet.What if that child you're planning on aborting is going to be the reason for your happiness.Girl you don't know if you're planning on aborting a future pilot,doctor,enginner or lawyer who'd love and cherish his/her mother for fighting all odds and taking care of him/her.Abortion in this state will come with a lot of depression and may even lead to suicidal thoughts and not going to make you feel better.Please be a great woman abeg and stop living your life based on people and circumstances.Life is not a bed of roses,you either learn from your mistakes so it'll never happen again and you'll have a better future or you keep on dwelling in self pity until you commit sucide or even start taking drugs and all that.

I totally understand you. But then, while I love my daughter so much, I wish she had a far better father, knowing how much I regret that often and stayed with him even when things weren't really working for the sake of having one daddy, one mummy and spare your child step-relate issues,yet he still screwed me over, bringing another child into this life from his lineage, double regrets? I can't even phantom it

dachaste:





Sister u are old eenof to know the implications of sex without protection. Pls don't use dat foolish guy's departure as an excuse to kill biko.




Am alady. I know it hurts buh spare dat angel na beg I dey beg

Strangely, I was on pills.
There's no excuse, I agree, I've made a mistake, I wish I knew a good couple who wanted a baby and are willing to finance it, as difficult as it sounds, I think I could give the baby to them.
There no way I can keep the pregnancy, im not fit, psychologically and financially, not with everything i'm going through right now.

dachaste:
Did I jus read dat u wanna abort?


Let me ask u something. Wen u loook at ur 2yr old baby wot do u feel? Love or regret?




If u kill dat child just knw ur worst dat ur ex BF. I don talk my own





Wetin dey worry ladies self?

It's really easy for you to sit from afar and judge without thinking for a second about what am going through.. you think it's an easy decision for me?

jamex93:
The greatest regret will come when u abort dat innocent baby

So your advise is I should against all odds, keep another baby? With no daddy?
I totally agree, im full of mistakes, but another baby for him would only compound my problems I think.

Dear Nairalanders,

Call me a hopeless romantic or a fool for love, but my story is just really pathetic..
I blame nobody and take full responsibilities for my actions. There's this saying about once beaten, twice shy but I've been beaten over and over again and I keep making the same mistake all over again.
I refused to see beyond, paid no attentions to warnings from friends and family.
I'm the kind of girl who loves with everything I've got, my time, my finance, my body, my loyalty @100percent, but I've always given all these to the very wrong people or should I say people who have lil or no value for me, despite the fact that I'm really pretty and intellectual.
Currently, I'm going through a very painful breakup, almost 4years of my life wasted, a two year old daughter and a month old pregnancy( which I intend to abort tomorrow) as my daughter's daddy and father of my pregnancy has moved on.
Can't really blame him, he never loved me, I did all the loving, made terrible choices and mind blowing sacrifices for him and got nothing but hurt in return.
If only those who committed suicide had a place in Heaven, I would have done it already.
I'm in so much pains, as much as I want to move on, one good look at my daughter and the memories flood in... how do I heal?