₦airaland Forum

When I read stuff like this, it just gets me annoyed. I have no comment!

lulu1986: i do have my past,,and i still do horrible tings but at da end of da time we need to accept da fact..we are wron
g and we need to accept da truth..but its his choice tho.

I understand what you mean but at the same time don't quite agree. I think going wrong things for which we are the only victims is quite different from doing wrong things for which other parties are the victims. When others suffer from our behavior it's quite a different kettle of fish entirely.
Doing things that hurt others suggests a larger moral deficit than doing things that only hurt ourselves.
Girls that cannot refrain from promiscuous activities should simply not enter into a relationship. That way the only person they are hurting by their activities are themselves both in the short term and in the long run.

Building A Castle

iyke926: when are you going to change? Always asking for cell phone number

LOL you are talking as if he needs to repent.

your question doesn't really make sense to me. A marriage life long can last 40+ years. A wedding is a single event which lasts less than a day. How are these two comparable? Anyone who does't see which is more important has bigger issues to worry about than planning a wedding

Tallesty1: Well, that is the crazy mentality of some naija girls but the truth is that there are guys that just want to be friends.

This is true of most naija girls I have come across. But unfortunately you cannot blame them entirely for having that primitive mentality. The behavior of most of us guys have given them every reason to believe that.
It's a shame sha cos some of us just want friendship.
E.g.: any naija girl that can hold deeply intellectual and mind stimulating conversations with me on certain subject matters... I must ask for her number; guaranteed! This is because they are like diamonds in the rough, difficult to find but doesn't mean I want to date/marry her though.

Such a misunderstanding happened recently and what was a rather blissful friendship ended in disaster. So OP be careful how you approach the guy.

I think what we are all forgetting is that people LIE. When it comes to lying, girls are the senior citizens and us guys must gracefully bow out.
The ultimate goal and pinnacle for any s3xual relationship should be a happily married life. Therefore in my humble opinion, any man that bases his desire to get happily married to a woman solely because she SAYS she is a virgin, has already flunked the course.

If you are a good guy and decide not to have s3x with your 'virgin' fiancee until after marriage, e go don too late by the time you find out now. So please let's look at what is more important than s3xual history alone.
As for me, and giving a valid example, a completely faithful woman irrespective of history ranks higher than a mere virgin.
A girl once told me that many virgins just keep their virginity as a status symbol to remain a big attraction for when they are ready to get married. But the things they currently do in bed with different guys are actually worse than what some normal s3xually active girls will do. They are keeping that one part for husband meanwhile other parts done scatter wella. Presumably, I need not go into detail...

I know of men that have married ex-prostitutes. Although, these are all oyibo men and I am yet to meet a Nigerian (or black man) who has knowingly done so.
I would class an ex prostitute who has repented as someone with 'skeletons' in her closet. I believe all of us have some form of skeletons in our closets.
As long as our future husbands/wives know what those skeletons are before marriage and both accept their past but look to the future, no problem.
What we wouldn't want is hidden skeletons to come back and bite in the future.

Someone that stopped maybe a few years ago is different to someone that still prostitutes herself today with the promise of stopping in the future...that one na different case all together. Shine your eye.

Bros I no go judge that your guy jare. 20k per month /50k 100k the amount doesn't matter. When an 'inexperienced' guy falls for a naija girl, especially one that knows how to play her cards, abeg forget! She can empty his pocket no matter the amount.
I just hope the guy recovers, learns from his lesson and moves on with his life. Jooor oo some guys are still learners.

acidosisTM: First, you need to stay OFF Internet (including Nl)

Secondly, stay AWAY from Ladies with MANY male Friends

Thirdly, stay AWAY from Ladies whose families have zero record on "good marriage"

Lastly, I wish you good luck.

Bros i think this is probably one of the best suggestions that has been brought forward since the initial post and I will definitely share it with him. If he tells me he is dating someone he met online, I will physically fight with him.

The only thing that no-one has touched on so far is that I put in the topic 'YOUNG'. I won't reveal his age so no point in asking. He is young and actually wants a woman younger than himself. That in itself is a problem. I have advised him that either he waits until he is older or he goes for a more mature lady that's actually older than him in age (he no gree). He wants someone in her early twenties. I told him to bone that tin for now until the girls he is after are older and more mature. I hope my advice to him wasn't bad because that's what I believe.
A lot of the older mature God fearing wife-materials of nowadays are actually the runs girls and party animals of yesterday...abi na lie I talk? I'm asking you because you appear to know what you are talking about.

temigracie: In my own point of view, I believe the OP needs to work on himself....

You have dated girls, they usually end up leaving you....Are you telling me that rich guys or dudes dont find true love??....Maybe because of your so-called 'wealth', you are proud, and too full of yourself.....jez saying....

I believe there are some qualities those girls really wanted from you and you dont possess them...

To find a Mrs Right....make yourself Mr Right......

Chai! You appear to have completely made up a story that sounds good to your ears and fulfills your own personal agenda. Who told you that the girls usually end up leaving him? He dumps them all by the time their true characters are revealed. The last girl he wanted to marry turned out to be a runs girl - he even met her family etc. Wait oooo! So you think a guy who finds out his gf is a runs girl will now still wait around for her to dump him? I don't know which kind of guys you have been dating sha. Abeg which planet do you live on? Maybe you think the guy is an oyinbo guy wey no too know how far. You also say he doesn't possess the right qualities. Did I at any point mention that in my post? What qualities does a runs girl expect from a man? Since you know so much about what una want oya tell me so I can pass the message to him. Does the fact that he has money automatically eradicate the possibility of him having the right qualities? You have just proven my point. Because you know he has money you automatically have preconceived ideas about who and what he is... Change your mindset young lady. Money isn't everything - it just helps!
Why are you attacking this guy that you don't even know? Or you don't like the fact us guys are now exposing what the vast majority of naija girls have turned to in the 21st century? Even runs girls don't see themselves as prostitutes anymore. You tell a runs girl girl these days she's a prostitute she will tell you 'no - she just does runs'. It has now become something 'cool' that some girls are even proud of. I am so sure our forefathers didn't have this problem. What happened?

zonax: I have a friend who is also having same issues. Very wealthy and God fearing, but has been single for up to two years now because the girls he keeps meeting are just not what he's looking for. Meanwhile all he wants is a God fearing and faithful lady to settle with.

because there are not a lot of them around, most of them are already taken by the time they hit 20 even before they finish school and because they are faithful by nature, they stay taken...

irishCream: Op u sound serious but don't know hw real u are

And u jus created dis account meaning u r shielding urself frm previous acts

Anyways if u r for real pm

Wow. You have really conducted your research on me. I have just created this account, because I have never been a member of Nairaland in the past. A friend of mine told me about it just recently. I like the idea of it because I can say things on my mind whilst still maintaining a certain degree of anonymity. If anonymity is a concern it simply means I want people's opinion about matters I don't really want to share with those I see on a day-to-day basis.

Nevertheless, I wouldn't spend time and effort typing paragraphs of what you are suggesting is essentially a fake story. Abi is someone paying me to tell stories online ni? I don't think so.

andromida: Is this what you believe?

Are you creating self fulfilling prophecies of good girls being intimidated by you? You will be surprised how powerful your mind is if you believe only runs girls can handle wealthy men those are the kind of women you will attract you will keep wondering why,thinking its the women but its you. Change how you see young,caring women they are not scared of you.

It's a shame that you did not read the very first sentence of my post. And in the unlikely event that you actually read it, it's an even bigger shame that you failed to understand it...
Go back and re-read the very first sentence of my post. Read as many times as is required for you to understand what it means. If you need to get someone to translate it into your local dialect for better understanding, feel free.
Other than that advice, I have no response for you

Ploy: Go to the market and do love survey. You will be surprise at the flock of respectable ladies buying and selling. Ask for a favour and judge from her/their reactions. Some girls will care for you than your mum could.
The first step is to go to the market.

Is that how you found your wife/plan to find your wife? Because that one doesn't make sense o my brother. I could not make that suggestion to him whilst still keeping a straight face! But well done for trying sha.

firstEVA: why do I have this feeling you are talking about yourself?

well, the truth is, it won't be easy to find a girl who loves u for you, not what you have, good girls are out there but very difficult to find. Once a girl knows you have some cool material stuffs, like a cool ride, very decent apartment etc,she will be naturally drawn to you, sometimes the feeling is even like love to her but truth is, its not love cos when she gets use to those things, her real character surfaces. I would have said look into the church, but that one is no longer a guarantee, the world has gone into the church. My advise is, try dating by recommendation, this has worked for some peeps I know. Some one tells u about this someone who's very decent and responsible... Since u are not crazy about appearance, this should work for you.

Please he wouldn't want to hear about the 'looking into church' matter. It is no guarantee at all. In fact if you told him that now, he would just laugh at that suggestion. He was in a relationship with a Pastor's daughter for a whole year planning marriage until it emerged that she was a deep runs girl (up to 5 senior citizens per day on some days at 20k each) She was in Nigeria, he lives abroad - that's how she was able to avoid early detection. But it is true and verifiable that she is a head pastor's daughter and goes to church up to 3 times per week so although I like your advice, when I tell him I will leave out the 'looking into church' part. Pastors daughter, usher, worker in training etc doesn't guarantee anything anymore.

Let us assume that there is a guy somewhere who is successful and has money and material things. He is still relatively young but his issue is that he always attracts the wrong type of girls. Or even when he attracts seemingly OK girls, after they get comfortable/familiar with him and material things, they begin to change.

The guy is not interested in runs girls, club lifestyle or rough girls. He doesn't drink, smoke or go to clubs. He just wants someone that can humbly enjoy the essence of life with him with the ultimate focus still being on God. He is not looking for a super model, just an ordinary girl to love and make a home with. Beauty can be enhanced with money for those that don't know, but the truth is he doesn't put much emphasis on physical appearance. He knows that money can be good and very enjoyable if it is shared, but shared with the right person for the right reasons.

His friends have suggested to him that to solve the issue, he should not allow girls to know about his financial status. Whilst that suggestion makes sense on a level, he drives a luxury car and lives in a nice/expensive area. Those are things that are impossible to hide because he wouldn't want to start taking other modes of transport or pretending to live in another area just to attract a woman. That would be inconvenient and dishonest anyway.

Is it just a matter of continuing to wait? Why are the right girls not coming? Is it that good and caring young women will not like to be a man like that because of fears he will not be loyal to them? Because they think he can replace her with a runs girl at any time? Perhaps the insecurity and thoughts of not being good enough to be with someone who has money? What could that guy do to earn the trust of a good woman at first sight without intimidating her?

it's a shame