It was the same thing with me. First, all our computers and power went down due to their stupid generator set, they now had to order new one, we waited for almost 4 hours. Exam that i was supposed to write at 9.30-11.30 started at 5. I endured and did my best only for me to see 228 as my result and 35 in english, How? If im not mistaken I should get nothing less than 70 in English. Buh, what can I do, I just have to prepare hard for P.ume. Fvck Jamb! Fvck malicomp access!! Fvck Nigeria!!!

There are different kinds of prayer warriors in the typical Naija church. I have observed all of them and made a list.

1. Passionate: this group of people pray with passion and emotion. They go to the extent of crying during prayer session. They would lie down on the floor and start rolling all in the name of praying. They are always shouting and drawing their words. Oout of their passion they would pull their watches, hats and shoes while praying. Then after service they will now start asking if anyone saw the left leg of their shoes and other irrelevant things...smh

2. Silent ones: this set of people pray silently with their eyes closed and with full concentration in the church, the funny thing about them is that when they are praying silently, they can just shout some words out like 'DIE, JESUS, e.t.c then they go back to their silent prayers again.
3. Violent: this people are always aggressive during prayers, even if the prayer is just to thank God, they would pray it as if they asked them to kill their enemies. If you are not lucky enough and you sit beside them they can blow you, or slap you by mistake due to their aggressive body movement. The worst of all is if The Pastor asks you to hold a patner for prayers and you choose them, they would twist, bend, wriggle your body and some would even spit on your face. There was a brother who went as far as tearing his cloths and hitting his head on the wall repeatedly, it was so bad that he had to be bundled out by four hefty ushers. The last time I saw him was at a canal chewing pure water nylon with his torn clothes.

4. Prophets: This group speaks in diverse tongues always. Any prayer point they ask them to pray will be replaced with tongues, even when they are singing, they sing in tongues. If you greet them, they would answer you with tongues and when they are walking on the road, they will be firing the devil with hot tongues. There was even a brother like that who they asked a question during sunday school and instead of answering, he started speaking diverse languages, a hot slap on his head brought him back to his default settings (out of the spirit realm to the physical realm),before he then answered his questions correctly.

5. Mumurers prayer warrior: people in this group dont pray. All they do is to mumur. Whether it is prayer of deliverance, thanks, destroying the destroyers, they just move their mouth in a silent way that you even begin to wonder if they are really praying. This same set of people are usually talkatives outside the church but when it comes to prayers, their mouth goes on a lowkey. They usually nod their heads back and front while praying.

6. Lookers and walkers prayer warriors: As their name implies, all they do is to look and walk, they would never open their mouth to pray instead they will look at everyone and their various styles of praying. To make their looking more efficient, they would cross their hands at their back or fold their arms and start walking during prayers. If you tell them to pray they would argue with you that they are praying in their mind. They would walk and look at everyone from their seats to the back, then to the altar, to the choir stand, to the minister's stand till they have looked at everything that is going on and they eventually find their way outside.

7. Singers: they turn everything to songs. Whether it is prayer of thanksgiving or mercies, they change it to song and start singing so that the whole church can hear their soprano voice. Some of them dont even relate the song with the prayer points. The prayer point is to destroy your enemies, then you will hear them singing I surrender all. The suprising thing is that they dont sing during praise & worship, but when it is time for prayers they would then start singing hymns, psalms and songs of solomon.

8: Frosh: This last group are always forming during prayer sessions. They will be praying as if they are having a personal conversation with God. They are also always demonstrating with their arms. You would hear words like 'GOD it is I again', 'Lord I know you can do this' 'Father pleasse' They are always dressed well and always looking at the time, waiting for the right time to dissapear.
Which group do you belong...add yours
Buzzboy,
cc Lalasticlala...

I have been observing people in my church for a long time and I have made a list of the various kinds of people you find in a typical Nigerian church.

1. The first set of people are called the Bible Scholars. They are always very serious, writing everything the pastor says, and nodding their head every now and then. I was shocked to see a brother by my side today writing everything the pastor said including the "praise the lord", "amen" e.t.c they are always waving their hands and shouting yess at any little thing the pastor says.

2. The second set of people are called the talkers. All they do is to talk. Sometimes I wonder if there is pepper in their mouth as they just talk and laugh loudly. They wouldnt even hide it as they talk loudly and laugh carelessly. Sometimes it takes the intervention of the ushers to separate the two talkatives or group chatters. Once, a pastor on the altar shouted "Shut Up" on a girl from the
congregation out of reflex action due to her endless talking...

3. The Sleepers
this set of people sleep through out the service. They can be found at vintage points near the fans or a.c. They would then bow their heads and sleep off and when the ushers wake them up, they would insist that they were only sleeping, there was one minister that layed down on the floor all in the name of praying with anointing and he went to chibok from there...

4. Walkers
This set of people can walk from lagos to port harcourt. All they do is to go in and out of the church. They cant sit down comfort ably for 5 minutes. They always have something to do either to change money for offering or to buy tom tom and baba blue. You would hear them saying words like, sorry, pls excuse me, get your bag out of the way e.t.c. An elder in my church had to slap one brother like that because he was always going in and out, disturbing the woman. ..

5. The Eaters
People that belong to this group are fond of eating. Their mouth is always closed but moving rapidly. I could not beleive my eyes last wheek when I saw a woman, a choir member for that matter eating corn at the front row during service sshe brought differnt items from her bag like corn, plantain, e.t.c and was eating it stupidly to the amazement of the church members, the pastors wife had to seize her bags...

6. Frosh Kidz
this people come to church with a lo t of pride. They dress as if they are going to see Buhari. They also apply a lot of heavy make up (for girls). They dress extravagantly with all the latest dress or clothes reigning even though they don't have money. They would now start forming british accent. They wear all type of jwellry, head chain , neck chain, hand chain, waist chain, leg chain e.t.c. They usually come very late for notice me purpose holding their heads high and holding the latest technological gadgets in their hands as they catwalk to their seat hoping to impress that boy/girl they have been crushing on....
Which one do you belong to?
Feel free to add yours...