₦airaland Forum

Hismajesty44:
He's a suspect for now, until a reputable court pronounce him a criminal. Don't judge!

What do you mean by not judging when it was clearly stated he assaulted her which is a crime? Do you even know that assault makes a person a criminal?

Wait, why is he crying after threatening an innocent woman with grievous bodily harm?

chincent:
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breadtoaster:
Hmmm......
Yesterday was down a bit sad..... useless all evening. Hoping to come out stronger and feel better. Some women are being beaten and injured yet they stay.

So if someone isn't just concerned about me or just cold or minding his business, I am still in a better condition. I think Ibukun Awosika mentioned something like that too, one of her sermons, A woman said something about having to do everything and her husband not being there, trust me its draining but of course, no one remembers your mental health in such condition. She said in that program that she should be happy he isn't stopping her from pursuing her goals and she should leave him. that so far he sha finds one work to do or something like that. that should be enough. That it could be worse, where he would even stop her. so she is in a good place.

I guess learning to live and be happy with someone without having all you want / basic support you shouldnt even be getting from outside is a skill one needs to learn.

Some of us, just grew not being able to lie to ourselves when thing arent right or tell our selves to pretend all is right and have to learn now.

Yesterday I complained of urges and at least he made use of his hand, he didn't just leave me. Thats a thing to be thankful for. I am not sure he is ready to Bleep me normal in his mind, even though the prick is rising.

Further more he painted an illusion that he thinks his brother's wife is advising me wrongly. cus d first day i went to visit the brother wife and the brother, i told her to tell me truth as her younger sister things i need to know. she mentioned they weren't grateful people even if you remove your liver and all etc., and my husband and another of his brother behaves like woman, and they gaslight (i didn't really even know what behave like a woman means).

And stupidly one happy day, I mentioned what she told me to him (I was mistakenly pushed to cus he asked how i enjoyed myself, what we jisted, blablabla, to say everything, nothing to hide, to trust him, whether good or bad whether its even me that insulted him i should sha be open its no judgment zone), apparently, he told his brother, told his mother etc. Since then his brother has been hurt, he said its a lie blablabla, but he wont want to spoil my relationship with her and he would stomach it.

i wondered why my husband told his brother, does he want to destroy their marriage?

when staying with my sister, i didn't necessarily like everything her husband used style to say to me but i just take it as normal or be like if me too don hustle, I wont be here hearing what i dont want to hear. but i know telling my sister can cause issues or at least cause fight of i dont like what you told my younger sister or something. so me too respect myself.

So over time if he did something or not pushing to support and I say cant you see how i am struggling, you dont pity me, i would later just say, umm let me strengthen my mind, dem don tell me say you no dey grateful before (call that one of my bad characters).

so he feels i am in constant communication with her and hinted again to the already angry brother that its like we are in conversation and his wife is still advising me wrongly. it was a joint call that day so i know for sure he repeated it again to his brother.

Anyways, i have messaged and called his wife since then twice, she isn't picking or responding not sure what her husband has finally gone to tell her.

its fine i take responsibility, me and my big mouth.

But i just wonder, if he would tell his brother such knowing it can damage their home, how devoted would he be to ours? the brother stomached this talk to keep his home but he keeps reminding him what his wife may be doing as if to make him vent finally.

He always told me he counsels marriage, he has no problem etc. May God bless you to date someone that can praise himself, and when ou enter you realize the hype is more than the reality.

I am asking him if his brother ever mentioned to him now that he spoke to his wife about this and he said he doesn't know.

she's not responding and since he came, he has even said he won't go to their house.

He has told me I am not God, that because sometimes i would say lets go back to Nigeria (he feels am threatening him), meanwhile i always worry that it wasn't this bad there and things may be better for us there. I think I am God because of the immigration thing and all. It would hurt so deep because never for one did I say even if we go back, you go back alone. talks like this still made me feel this guy isn't someone that knows how to count his blessings.

Because he wanted me to marry him before coming here sef and be processing the paper while he chills back home, then he would now come. Even here he would always tell me, I should not worry when his paper comes. Immediately he landed, he encouraged me to do the court wedding here within a month. I remember my sister and parents warning me to slow down. dont let anyone rush you.

It was right after I think he stopped being sweet and started complaining that i dance etc. etc. It was then I asked why we were so smooth one month before the court wedding. though he says I am lying, because I was like you didn't complain I did all these things in that one month.

At this point, I am not God, and I agree, Let God work out his papers using him himself or another person.

We have been in the house since yesterday its quiet as a graveyard. only basic comments, hello, wen i entered, and wont you come and sleep when I didn't see him come to bed and the time i told him i was Hot and he used his hand.

How do people find their peace, in this kind of environment.

I swear i didn't learn it before, how to sit somewhere and be having your peace when you know all is not well.

And now I need to learn it.

Thank you so much for counsel. At this point, I would just pray for God's will and watch the way he is watching.

Watching doesn't solve problem, Am just tired of trying to fix what another phlegmatic person's temperament doesn't even feel the need to work on to fix.

I would keep praying, do only the basics on my end too and wait for God's will

Although you have learnt to never disclose sensitive information to him, but at the price of your friendship with you sister-in-law. Never forget this lesson and unintentionally harm the trust people repose in you when they open up to you in the future.

You are an adult. You know what you want. The only place I have a problem with the suggestion that you should work on your husband like you are some mechanic fixing a broken or non-responsive part of a vehicle that won't move is that it places a heavy burden on you coupled with the pressure you already face as regards your job security, your mental sanity and all. Who will fix you when you break down?

If you have given everything to make the relationship work but it still doesn't, your days barely have happy moments that make living with him tolerable, you are on the brink of mental and physical collapse, please, save yourself and seek separation, not divorce. You should not suffer for the personality traits of another person who is unaffected in any way by the same. It is like marriage of fire and ice.

Like Buhari like Tinubu and Shettima. Birds of the same song.

Mariangeles:
Talk to him about your feelings more, even if he feels like you're nagging. Keep talking.
Don't keep anything bottled up inside, lest you go crazy. Nag! If you have to.
Get him to communicate more.
Before he drives someone's daughter over the edge with his non-communicative, non-expressive, petty self.

Even me gan, I got stressed reading this, that I couldn't till the end.
How much more you that have everything bottled up inside.😩💆🏽‍♀️

Honestly, the majority of the comments here lack empathy. They are not even considering this lady's mental health, just accusing her of infidelity and playing the victim with the aim to quench her expressing her valid concerns, and they may have succeeded at that.

Many others dismiss her concerns like they are meaningless. They just want her to shut down emotionally, live with her husband like roommates, breed children, fake happy couple smiles, become sexually frigid, adapt to the life of a social recluse, cut off all communication with the world according to her husband's desire. They want her to become an android wife that can be controlled and programmed by the husband to do his biddings without complains, that her body should be an animated coffin for her soul within only because she decided to get married. I bet it is only then this people will hail her as a wife material.

If you were this much stressed only taking a peek into what she has endured forever, how much more the lady herself?

I am not suggesting divorce. She should find ways to replace those vital aspects of living that she cannot get from her husband which help keep her mental health in check. She should know she cannot please any human 100%. Cutting off all her friends is unwise. If she has to adapt to his lifestyle, then he must also make efforts to adapt to hers. He cannot be a dictator in the relationship making only demands regardless of her feelings and wants.

I hope, sincerely, the husband gives attention to those needs of hers that crave satisfaction.

Kobojunkie:
1. She is not the only one; therefore, she should not be expected to want to distance herself from that which has harmed her in the past?

2. It is erroneous, though her reasons for wanting this man tie back to literally every message preached to women from your religious pulpits, like every week?

3. Her admission is also a condemnation of the teaching she received from the pulpits, which insist that a spiritual man has all that a woman should need.

4. It is illogical to send her back into the same den from which the lies that led her down this road, the same lies that insist she should remain in this marriage, come from.

5. Oh, so you insist on religion even though you are clearly against her submitting to the man— a teaching from your many pulpits on women alone — who makes her marriage a prison? Interesting!

You are unnecessarily picking holes in my statements, seeing black where I painted white.

Your generalizations of the church and its teachings far from reality.

Kobojunkie:
I understand from your post that what you are attempting is not to provide her a solution but to offer her a distraction of sorts from her issues. So, I am not going to probe you any further on this.

I just know it is completely irrational to send a woman who has been previously deceived by spiritual delusions into the same den from which she acquired her spiritual delusions that got her where she is today. If anything, she should be running away from the churches and anything related, at least until she has realized the damage all of that has caused her. We are in 2025 and fielding questions from a woman married to a spiritual man who is worse to her than a literal FWB.

She is not the only one who has misinterpreted a quality, religion-related or otherwise.

It is erroneous to claim the church institution is responsible for the perception she used as a yardstick to judge his character. She admitted she misjudged him. Many use the same yardstick with different results as there are different finger prints in the world.

You may wish to engage in a back and forth on this but I am being logical and practical based on what she has shared.

I also think she should stop cutting off her friends just to please him. Her marriage makes the four walls of her home feel like prison. She should protect her mental health and find something to take her away from the home.

Kobojunkie:
What has her being a Christian to do with her situation? Will her digging herself deeper into this Christian side you advise suddenly make the man begin to love her, or change the fact that she might be a potential victim of what is the Romance scam?

Or are you trying to get her to numb herself in an attempt to invalidate her concerns?

I am not one to suggest divorce as a solution. The issues bothering her do not have a quick fix, sadly. She is already in the mess. My suggestion aims to help her find something to get her attention away from some of the issues. Clearly, she is mismatched with her husband. He comes across to me as someone who is not a tad bothered about how she feels - a tell-tale sign of someone who is not in the marriage for love. He may just be biding his time to release the bombshell on her, and in her heart of hearts she expects it but won't admit it. The best I can offer as opinion is she finds a church and join the activities there. It should serve not only as her escape route from the stifling silence of her home but also as a place that she can fall back on when she needs it. The husband may restrict her movements to social gatherings like parties, but he cannot keep her from going to the church.

If you have a better idea please feel free.

Kobojunkie:
I am sorry, what? Exactly how does joining the workers in her church help her situation?

She is a christian. Would you rather she went clubbing?

The issues raised by the Op feels like a Gordian knot, and it is sad the reality of her very high incompatibility with her partner is weighing significantly on her.

The fact that a person may appear 'spiritual' is not a validation of compatibility.

Op, you may want to join the workers in your church. Give yourself to activities in the church. It should help to restore the sense of voice you think you have lost.

The first person always seems right until you hear from the other party. Never base your judgement on one side of the story.

Kaesyrn:

Congrats, brother. Many more wins ahead.

Bimmarlykay:
How do you trade Captain?

Momentum,Martingale,mean reversion, breakout, trend?

You seem to see market dynamism the way i do.🤠

I trade using just break and retest with my own twist.

Alexas58:
Explain by what you mean?

I am interested in learning how to trade without a stop loss, so that I can become experienced

But one thing you should know that a trade without a stop loss is a ticking time bomb

There are people who use mental stoploss. Besides, I gave reasons a person can only trade profitably without stoploss. They must be willing to babysit the trade, their trade size must not be so large as to wipe the account if price reverses on a sudden swift movement against their position, and they should be above average in knowledge of the markets.

There are many profitable traders I have come across who do not use a hard stoploss but they use a mental stoploss. Trading is an individual thing. Many may find not using a hard stoploss works against them, but many may find it helps improve their trading.

Donsheddy:
I want to ask, is it compulsory to use sl 🤔🤔

Can someone be profitable long without using sl.

It depends. It is not compulsory to use a stoploss although this is something only traders with experience in the markets can do. For beginners, it is compulsory.

Yes, one can be very profitable in the long term not using stoploss as long as they know what they are doing. It means their money management plan is the type that will not blow the account in case of sudden swift moves, they are babysitting the trades, their knowledge of the markets is above average.

These are very serious allegations. Only God knows the truth, and may He judge accordingly.

I have come across this couple before on a youtube podcast. There is nothing repentant about them. They are only an undercover branch of the church of satan.

sonnie10:
Tinubu asked one time like that, " na statistics (data) we go chop"?

They were rejoicing then. Also, "go to court" is no longer appealing to them. Eye don clear 😄

ogolemati:
shut up you need to declare your income,the man is right.where is yarimo the agbero chairman nairaland branch

This night is really the funniest 😂😅🤣. APC supporters are feeling the heat? Wonders 😅😄

Hahahaha. Youdonminit 😂😂. This government has set the standard in being the worst and still beats its own record in one day

CodeTemplarr:
realities such as these arent bendable by projections. They said the truth. Just few days ago i was watching a clip about Burundi being one of the poorest nations on earth. Yes they are poor but they can afford the basics of life far better than we can.

Buhari should be immortalised with N10,000 note for making the naira useless.

Poor doesn't mean the basic necessities of life are far from their reach. Nice explanation there. For those asking how the quality of life is greater than Nigeria's in Sudan, Chad, Mali, Congo, Palestine, etc this answer should be sufficient.

Osidazz19:
With your mindset, you probably think that the world revolves around your village.

Village kwa? hahahahaha. 🤣😂😅😂🤣😅😁.

fasho01:
Again, how did they come about this? And are they trying to say we're worse off than the war torn Palestine? That's not possible, hence I'm taking it with a pinch of salt

To those rejoicing about the news, cos it's bad news and fits into their expectations, continue. Indeed, we're our own problem

As it doesn't fit into your expectations. How many more must be said for you to smell the coffee?

Even with all the taxes and subsidies cut, increase in prices of goods and services, praises from IMF of Tinubu's reforms, GDP increase, and all his revenue target? Man is in deep shock. APC living in denial.

I will open the borders and allow food to flood the nation. This will also cut down the steep prices of food.

I will reduce the burden of numerous taxes borne by the masses.

I shall half the enormous salaries of political office holders.

i shall make all my appointments reflect the true spirit of federal character.

I shall grant licences to electricity distributors to encourage healthy competition.

I shall deploy troops to troubled hotspots of banditry to restore peace and hope while fostering partnership between the armed forces and members of the local communities nationwide to quell insurgency.

I shall recommend new Supreme Court judges who have had a history of making unbiased judgment

I shall make education cheaper at the tertiary level and free at the primary and secondary levels.

I shall see to it that a law penalizing corrupt office holders with life imprisonment is enacted

I shall also see to it that punishing false rape accusers with the same punishment as a guilty rapist becomes law

I will give women greater participation in nation building and encourage projects geared towards their empowerment.

I shall encourage small and large scale bussinesses by granting them tax reliefs to increase employment opportunities

cutecommend:
Be very desperate, hungry and thirsty for it. Engage in "do-or-die" prayers, bible study, fastings e.t.c to God, requesting only one thing: "God make me holy". When God sees that you are truly interested in being holy, He will give you grace to be holy. God does not want to waste such grace on unserious so-called christians.


Matthew 5:6 "Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.

I am sorry to disagree with you, brother, but those things you mentioned are formulas for holiness. They make holiness seem like a very distant achievement that is reserved for a select few super Christians. Holiness is something that is within the reach of anyone and it is simply this — obeying the Word of God. There is nothing else to it. Just obey the commands of God, and His greatest commandment is to Him with all our heart and soul and to love one another. Do that and you are okay. Holiness and love for God and others are one and the same.

LagosOrigin:
Who made this stripper a pastor

This one is not a pastor

This are the people giving Christianity bad image

"Stripper" is a strong word. I disagree with her choice of the 'naked dress' she wore for her birthday photoshoot although it was still ironically 'modest'. Not sugarcoating anything, that dressing was in moral bad taste as it would elicit lust from people who didn't look closer to find it is just a skin-coloured lining beneath the netting. She would do well to give serious thought to her choice of outfit in the future befitting her faith as Christ-like and as a leader knowing that some ladies under her ministry would likely emulate whatever she does.

I saw that but chose not to talk about it. I have only focused on her struggles and losses as a human being. She needs prayers, not name-calling. Christ is our Advocate. He sees all our wrongs, our poor choices, our lapses, but He speaks in our favour to the Father against the devil's accusations against us. I choose to toe the same path. May the good Lord bless pastor Tolu with peace and wisdom so as to diligently lead the flock under her care.

I admire pastor Tolu's resilience, dedication, and hardwork as a pastor. She has been through so much losses over the years that can cage any weaker person in depression for a long time. May the Lord strengthen her, encourage her, and help her where she needs it especially as her marriage has also suffered another blow from the devil.

This is such a sad and unjust end to a young and promising chap with bright future ahead of him. God, please teach us to number our days. May his soul rest in perfect peace and his killers face justice here or in the heteafter.

Donsheddy:
Dem no dey tell person..
He will understand when he starts swimming the ocean

No be today things na. Forex no be anybody mate.

Meklex:
2 years is a long time. Plus I tried watching ICT videos earlier this year and it was confusing with lots of videos

Your saying that two years is a long time tells me you are in so much hurry to press the buy or sell button, receive a margin call, get frustrated, then conclude that forex trading is scam. Already, the patience needed to trade profitably is something you do not clearly possess. If you had a quicker way to learn and earn you wouldn't be here asking. There is no shortcut to learning and mastery. I wish you good luck on your trading journey.