I am Casalinda, a happy independent woman. I have a life that I enjoy in my own way. But when I look back at the journey that landed me where I am now, it still gives me a sudden jerk. It has not been easy. I believe my story needs to be told because those who are struggling today need to know that hard times don't last forever. I was very young when I realised that my family had financial constraints. My father earned some money but it was not enough for my family to lead a very comfortable life. My mother suffered from bipolar disorder as well as other mental disorders, but diagnosis was not easy back then. Specially here in Nigeria. I was close to my paternal grandparents, but my grandfather passed away when I had barely entered my teens. I have some fond memories with him. We would eat cheese together and laugh at cartoons in the magazines. His death was a great shock to me. Growing up, I never knew what pocket money meant. Believe some of you could relate to this.
I had three friends I could confide in. They were my safe home. I ensured that my mother got proper treatment for their conditions, all thanks to the rich man I got married to. but on an emotional level, I did not know how to connect with them. I was young and inexperienced, and found it hard to handle such difficult situations all alone. My husband who I will forever love and appreciate walk me through this journey. I have never shared this side of me here because this is really deep for me. I had the most lovable husband who gave me everything. Money, love, security, and above all he carried my family all on his shoulder.

Marrying my husband was one of the worst decisions of my life. Months into my marriage, I realised I wasn't happy. My husband was a good human being but not a good husband. Before you sit there to judge me on what a good husband should be. Know this that I gave my all, I stay even after I found out some health related issues I gave myself I went through hell this past 24 months. The details of what went wrong in my marriage are those that I wish to keep to myself.

I was an extrovert but my husband made me become and introvert and I could not fight back. I was scared of his uncontrollable anger. He would go and stay abroad for months to set up a business, neglecting me and my needs when we got married.
From abroad, he would not not contact me for months. would go by, and I would find myself sitting at home with our two adopted dogs, lonely and miserable. I spent hours on my birthday waiting for his call, but it never came. I wanted better than this.

I had wanted a life of my own, I had dreamed of been a tv girl. Having my own show, yes call it the Kardashian. That was what I wanted, something I could connect to, and the very thought of my husband kicking against this was unbearable. But here, I felt disrespected and demeaned.

I learnt what a demon helplessness can be, and what giving up ones dreams could cause. Although I had my first child (outside Nigeria) I had always wanted my pregnancy journey to be documented, I was afraid to take the first step. Coming out of the life I had settled for was harder than it sounds. I felt like I had nowhere to go. I did not know what the way out of this maze was. That is when I decided that I had to be happy. I had to live. If being happy at that moment meant living alone and living my dreams, I would do that. It took me months to wrap my head around the fact that I wanted a divorce, because I was afraid of the stigma. My Mom was separated. If I too went back home, how would people treat my family?
I want more and I feel it’s not too much to ask. I want all the glams. I’m don’t just want to be a tv girl.

Yusufisraelj:



No, the society isn't messed up. Find out his fears around your carreer, and seek ways to alleviate them.

If he's not insecure and sure about you, he will shut any plan for your spotlight.

There's a fear or concern he has, that you need to address.

Thanks

rayvelez:
This lady again mtchew

I know right!!! Just want to make things right

Jeon:


Apologize accepted.

Thanks you

FreeSpirited:

Tor, but u could have loved him from afar, without access to all his resources now, like a side chick, ..why not go that path?

I don’t want to be anybody side chick, I made a mistake getting married for all the wrong reason. I just have cold feet about all of this

FreeSpirited:
Our Madam don use guy man achieve her dream fantasy, she now looking for how to break him..lol..These people no dey ever disappoint...She even geh mind say she loved him..Choi..lol.
.
.Now she's gotten another achievement using him to get TV slot....it's nothing new..don't beat ursef...we know u are gonno leave him soon under the pretext of any fussy excuse that appeals to ur fancy....Sha let us rest and go and enjoy ur next chapter of diick riding fantasy.....
Pele. One day, men will be wise enough to screen well enough before marriage, so that they can Dodge opportunistic hypergamous disaster like this. Hmmm Enjoy ya BBN path to fame and elite dickson

On a different notion I never used my husband. I just want him to be happy, I want him to be with someone who support his decision. I am not that person but I will always love him always

mabea:
But on a serious note, how do you enjoy telling this story over and over again? Loneliness I guess.

How do you except I get tired telling my story? Make it, make sense

Hello luminouz,
This might seem a little awkward and also hard to believe. I really want to apologize for dragging you and exposing messages I received from guys here on these platform, that was childish of me, and in has much I had reasons. All because I wanted attention and drawing traffic to my thread I Sincerely apology for going that low. That was a poor reflection of my character and I’m deeply sorry. I have been called many things here and that is fine. I brought that to myself and I will handle them a day at a time. I genuinely would love your friendship not that I’m pushing, I extend my sincerest apologies for the bad experience you had with my thread. I understand that it was unhealthy remarks It was never my intention to cause anyone distress. Looking back, however, I can clearly see that I didn’t think things through before I decided on what to post. Next time, I’ll be sure to weigh my warped sense of humor against my sense of propriety and choose something that isn’t controversial.

I hope you’ll forgive me for making you uncomfortable. Please accept as a sincere peace offering.

All the best,

Casalinda

SmellySperm:

I'm even more disappointed in you if you're from Akwa Ibom. Why you been tripping all the time here? Why expose vulnerable simp who hit your dm calling them prisoners? A real ass woman wouldn't do that yunno!

Let me point this out. I have been slut shamed even before I exposed those people. Exposing those guys might not had been the best route or choices I’m not proud of what I did at that time. Reason why we are growing as a person we allow to make mistakes and we learn from it

Miss305:


You are the definition of a useless man. Shame on your stupidity. Useless Simpleton. So your best advice is that a woman who has digged gold from a man going through it all and stolen from him should Run away? Sense is very far from you.

Throwing insults to someone who you basically don’t know only point you in a darker light. How do you comfortable insult someone just because he/she is not on your same page? Like how do you guys do this things. I can imagine the need to criticize me here, but why reduce yourself to this on a platform that clearly doesn’t care about your opinion. This is really sad to say the least.

donbachi:
Casalindal!casalindal!!

donbachi!!

josh123:
gold digger, stay in the marriage

I feel the right word is goal getter

obinna58:

Bitch have gotten all she wanted, she now seeks true freedom and happiness, you should have worked hard and make the money yourself instead of through someone's else success.

Certified bitch

I will pay a blind eyes to Thisbe comment simply because you don’t know me and my hustle. So will just allow you stay ignorant

Corbin:
God bless you for all that you do casalindal

And you too dear

MajesticKris:
Pls. Update me when you're free... You could as well need company... Do you have kids?

I do have a child �

SenecaTheYonger:
Do you really not know the difference between “as” and “has”?

I can already tell what your accent is like

There are mistake when it come to writing a proper sentence and used of words. I didn’t get it right at this time but hopefully I will next time thanks for pointing that

Miss305:
You this useless Biitch you've come again with your numerous cooked up stories for clout obviously. I doubt if there was any husband but say there was sef then you are nothing but a shameless and Senseless Gold digger. It's now you want all that? It's now you remember your (husband) was HIv positive, it's now you want more abi? To crown it up you posting one Ugly picture to depict what exactly?

You just a bastaard cos which normal thinking person comes to a faceless forum and drops all her family problems there? only a few can read between your shenanigans, kuku come out straight with your bambiala and stop going through corners to do so. No be only BBN, even if your husband was in a cave someone somehow, somewhere must have told him about your stupidity and exposing your family out there but it's crystal clear there's none so just come out straight in what you really want that cutting corners. Eleribu.

I’m not useless, none all those name you just call me. I could understand that you don’t have to agree with my choices and that is fine. Has much has I’m open for love I will not take out criticism. So there are rooms for everyone

TossTos:
Woman , you ought to have gone for yourself already .
More reason it is very good to discover yourself first before other things . It helps open ones eyes to things he/she needs to know , do or ought to have done .
More like this discovery now .
Your essence of being ..
Woman , go .......
When a purpose of a thing is not known , misue and abuse is inevitable ....
Now you know !!

Go baby !!!! ......

Thanks I keep hearing a voice in my head telling me to get up and run..

Godada:




Has he given you reasons for his stand on this issue?

Yes, some reasonable reasons. But how about what I want? I’m sad to say the least

illicit:
I actually thought u turned down a mouth action

Lol

Lol because you got a dirty mind heheheh. Thanks for the comments hope you staying safe?

Godada:





Yeah. Thanks for the clearing that up.
From what you have said so far, it seems your man doesn't want you to be in the spotlight. Have you discussed this with him?

I always bring it on the table. He knows deep down that I was built for the tv. But he doesn’t want any of it. That makes it really sad that nobody is concerned about what the wife wants?? It’s always want the husband want the society is a mess already

Godada:





Having gone through your write up, I'm constrained to ask you this: how do you cope with your sex life judging from the fact that you succinctly states that he is HIV positive?


There is a saying, "you cannot eat your cake and have it". You cannot choose a life of your dreams: vacation trips, meeting your family's needs and in the same breathe speak about wanting a life meant for a TV star. You should have stuck with your dreams and kept your rich husband out.

Thanks for this comment, at the time I met my husband he was already zero-negative meaning his virus load was very low. So that was how I was able to walk through this 2years and also staying negative. Thank you

I think it’s very important to build one self has a brand and not have to always jump on any offer that comes your way. See guys for someone always saying I’m a guy and slut shaming me.. well know this there are brand who are here on Nairaland and I have worked with them so you all keep hating. Will be doing a giveaway this evening guys take awake.

I think I got married for the wrong reason, I think I was not even ready for this marriage to begin with. Well you all know my story very well, the up and down and the scandal I have had with this 2years of been married. I’m one person who is very open about my life here and as mush as some many of you are always against me showing and telling so much about my life. I have noticed that we Nigerian are always very secretive and private about things that might be eating us up, be it in our marriage, health and even career. It’s height time we bring this to the table and have this conversation because it’s long overdue.

So I might this cute, rich and loving man who I found out that he was HIV positive, yes!! I was very much open about his health has much has I have protected him I also bring everything to the table so we can also have a conversation. Did I love him at that time?? Did I go through this wedding all before he was super rich? Did I get carried away by the millions he was earning? Honestly. No wanting to sound like a broken record. I feel I was all about the security he was giving me at that time. I feel knowing the fact that I was able to access everything. Vacation trip, and the beauty of having my own family needs taken care of was all the fantasy I was living. I was all about that live and I totally forgot that: I will not go this far just to get this far.

I loved my husband and Heaven know this but there are times when after all the luxury, glamour and money. I still want more, someone I will go out with. Every other day to the gym, someone that will support me emotionally, someone that I will always have conversations with, someone who understands that I really want to be a tv girl and will support me putting everything out there. I was built for the tv live. Last year I got a slot for the BBN like I was given this and my husband had to pull me out. I don’t want this life I want more.

I remember when I met seun, and he said and I quote: you are built for camera and he asked me why have I not pursued that.

I think I have given my all in this marriage and I want a break as much has I love my husband. I WANT ME

Pegi23:
Sorry darling. That how people on this app behave. Uncultured..I weep for this generation

That is fine thanks dear

SmellySperm:

Dude am disappointed in you. To even know you're from uyo(my town)
Stop tripping for this attention seeking op. Or are you new to Nairaland?

I’m from akwa ibom too. Etinna to be precise uncle

I feel really bad that my present here always triggers a lot of male folk here. I’m allow to express myself regardless how I want provided I’m not out in line with the rules or harming anyone. I have been call so many name but never have I been this hurt by this comment below. It’s fine I forgive and I’m sorry. Love and light

Infolenka:


You deleted the picture. But I was already smart enough to screenshot it and save it. I'll find out who she is and have you reported. Prepare for a law suit. Jobless catfish.

Omg please bring it on

All you doubting Thomas I’m at the park championing a campaign photo shoot for a Nairaland brand here come and see me for yourself. But in the main time my prison are on fire. I think the Mod should change this Nairaland name to Hot (sex starved men forum lol

Philipmighty:
Hehehehe cansalinda your left yansh there for trying to deceive men of high intellectual profile, in a state of quatum quatum.

If you are in Abuja come to the park I see me for yourself.