₦airaland Forum

yep - love being a pisces. emotional? well of course but also good, loyal friends.

9.3

Cathi

Thanks for taking the time to reply to my post.

The reason I asked this question is that my boyfriend's friend told me what these last few of you have stated - that if there is a child and he has accepted responsibility then in the eyes of the village then he is married to this woman.

My boyfriend had already stated differently to this and he still stands by what he says that he will never be going back to this woman as she cheated on him while they were together. He found out about the pregnancy after he had left Nigeria.

I have been scammed before - and this has hurt me deeply. I met my guy at the same time as this scammer. He helped me to work through all of this. I have known my guy for over 2 years now. He never pressured me to be anything more than friends - he accepted my decision. It was only early last year that we became serious about each other. During all this time he has never asked me for anything. I believe he is where he says he is. If you want to know more you can ask me through my e-mail Cathi_Dee@yahoo.com.au

It is extremely hard to find out much about Nigeria. In the past I wrote to a number of Nigerians for answers. People who I never knew and knew that they were not connected to my scammer. Yes this was risky - but after weeding out the scammers I have found some good people.

This is also why I joined this site - to help me to find out more about Nigerians and their culture. I am trying to keep my eyes and ears open.

My guy is actually going home within the next couple of months and he was wanting me to go with him so that I can meet his family, especially his Mum. This seems very important for him. I believe (though he hasn't said) that he would like me there when he meets his child and faces the ex-girlfriend and her family. Unfortunately I don't have the money for this trip so can't go. He has already introduced me to his brother online. I have spoken to both on the phone too.

My guy hasn't agreed with me on everything like my scammer used to do. We have had some fights - some quite serious but we always seem to be able to work it out and come back to each other again.

Maybe I am wrong but I have had no reason to doubt him. I do believe that it is good to be cautious so this is what I am trying to do. If anyone has any other ideas for checking out things - then please let me know. Thanks

Thank you all for replying.

Even though it is daughting to become a 'Mum' to a small child my guy and I discussed it all before we became closer. We both agreed that even in the future if it is found that he is not the biological father, that we would still take care of this child. It is yet to be decided whether this will only be monetary support or whether the child will come and live with us. She seems to be a beautiful, sweet child.

Through this I can see my guy's worth. Instead of running a mile when finding out about the child, he became excited and chose to take this child under his wing.

He is one special man.

Yes - in western culture both parents are responsible for the child, even if it is only child support money. My guy has never hidden the fact that he has a child and that he loves his child. He hasn't lied to me before so I do believe what he says. He says that he will never go back to his ex-girlfriend and I believe him in this.

It was just confusing receiving two opinions, especially since they live in the same village.

There will be times when we do visit the village together and I guess being a foreigner it makes me a bit nervous. It is important for me that his family like and accept me.

It has been interesting reading these posts.

I am an Aussie girl who is serious about a Nigerian guy. I have known him for over 2 years now but we only got close early last year. We have never met but hopefully we will be able to do so this year. He has never asked me for anything. He actually helped me during a time I was scammed.

I have joined this site so I can hopefully understand more of about African culture. My man is from Edo.

He is a hardworking man. A person I really respect.

When he first won my heart he spent a lot of time with me and welcomed phone calls no matter what time it was. But now he is busy all the time with his business trying to earn enough money he says to be with me. We hardly spend any time together now. I do not believe any other woman is involved - I believe it is exactly as he says.

Is this typical behaviour of a Nigerian man? Once he has secured his love he then decides that he needs to works so much to provide for our future? Now I don't have any problem with hardworking people - I just wonder if it is normal to make such a sudden change like this. It is hard for me to understand. He always says that he loves me and he is doing this for us.

Any input would be appreciated. Thanks

Really? Are you sure?

How many people does one sleep with before they are satisfied? They will end up wishing that they can put all the partners into one person to satisfy themselves. Cause they will be like 'oh I wish this person did this the same way as my other lover', etc.

And what about the sexual diseases apart from HIV that one can get?

What about unwanted pregnancies?

I guess it can be a risk that you are not compatible in bed. But this is part of a relationship - to be honest and open with each other. If you truly love each other then you will want to learn new things - yes even in the bedroom. In the end it doesn't matter if the man has a small member or the woman is frigid - if you love each other you will overcome these things.

How many of us these days have made love to a virgin? It is a special thing to give. Imagine someone loving you enough to decide that you were the one to give themselves to? That is something that can only be given once. Those who have made love to virgins can only appreciate how special that really is.

By keeping yourself for marriage - that makes it all the more precious.

My Nigerian boyfriend has a child from an ex girlfriend. Mother and child live in Nigeria. I am an Aussie girl who has become quite serious about my man but I have been told two different points of view.

My boyfriend and 2 others say that just because he has claimed responsibility for the child, this doesn't extend to the mother. So therefore they will never been seen as married.

3 other people state that because he has claimed responsibility for the child, then this means he has accepted the mother as he first wife. So therefore if I marry this man then all the village and his family will always see me as the second wife.

My boyfriend has never lied to me before so I tend to believe him but I am curious why people from the same village would have two different points of view.

They are from the Ethnic group Edo, the village Ekpon.

I would be grateful for some input on this. It is quite puzzling.

My Nigerian boyfriend has a child from an ex girlfriend. Mother and child live in Nigeria. I am an Aussie girl who has become quite serious about my man but I have been told two different points of view.

My boyfriend and 2 others say that just because he has claimed responsibility for the child, this doesn't extend to the mother. So therefore they will never been seen as married.

3 other people state that because he has claimed responsibility for the child, then this means he has accepted the mother as he first wife. So therefore if I marry this man then all the village and his family will always see me as the second wife.

My boyfriend has never lied to me before so I tend to believe him but I am curious why people from the same village would have two different points of view.

They are from the Ethnic group Edo, the village Ekpon.

I would be grateful for some input on this. It is quite puzzling.

Hi my name is CathiDee. I live in Australia but have been chatting to a Nigerian man for over 2 years now. We are serious about each other and plan to meet this year. As living in another culture I thought it would be good to find out more about his culture before we decide to go ahead and marry.