₦airaland Forum

To me, that's the only governor that knows he his a Governor not agberos like #fayo........

Wada F***! What do they have to help us? Well, when giant fall inside hole, even small pikin go rush come to help ham out, so when guinea start boasting of helping Nigeria, make we no deny....

GspotAngela:
When are the ibos finally going back to Biafra ?

Your name clearly state you are a fool!

Cutehector:
ah ah... Watsup wit all the ftc posts lately...

She an Introvert be like usen bolt!

chidifyn:
Guys be like "y didn't u pick my calls when I called? It's over between us!

Na charger cause the break up ooo..

The way naija babes/guys break up in a relationship is alarming/weird. You need to come and see the kind of insult that will be pouring out, I just witnessed one in my area and guys watin my ear hear, mouth no fit talk ham.. So guys, please if you know any phrase for calling off a relationship, feel free to share with us....

tope3x:
I hate lagos with passion. ...lagos is just an overrated state...I don't see anything special in that state...I just hate lagos

My guy wait till friday evening you go know say lagos make sense..

Lagos is an exciting and interesting city to live in. But many newcomers always find it unbearable to settle in  Lagos. What do people hate most about living in Lagos?

1.Traffic: Lagosians traffic na terror. An average Lagos residents spend a quarter of the day(you wan kill person) in traffic situation is one reason why people hate Lagos. Take away the traffic and Lagos will be less stressful.


2. Area boys: The ubiquitous street urchins can sure make life difficult in Lagos when they start trouble. Ask most Lagosians, they will wish area boys just vanished from the city.

3. Expensive rent: Lagos rents should be among the highest in the world. The exorbitant rent in Lagos is the reason for the proliferation of slums in the city.



4. Road Rage: Lagos drivers are some of the craziest you can find anywhere in the world.

5. The Prices: Lagos is expensive. Cost of goods is higher than anywhere in the country.

6. Cost of Transport: Transportation is expensive and unregulated. The operators can wake one day and decide to increase transportation cost.

7. Annoying Beggars: Lagos is full of annoying beggars. Yes, some people have a reason to beg, but some beggars are just too lazy to work. They are in your face everywhere in traffic, at parties and on the streets. It is really one reason to hate Lagos.



8. Absence of Pedestrian Walk: Well, the situation with pedestrian in Lagos have actually got better. Absence of pedestrian walk on many Lagos roads is one reason to hate Lagos.

9. Lagos Police: Nigerian police are aggressive and unfriendly. But Lagos police officials are in class of their own. They are known for their brutality and extra-judicial measures. People hate them with passion. Na only for Lagos police man go slap you for not greeting! (Am a living example)

10. Stress: Lagos life is a combination of stress. Ask any Lagosian and they will give you a million reasons why they are facing stress.

madgoat:
Money is good oh

All I need do is to look at Basketmouth and I will be convinced #money goooood!

I think tuface has always been a fine boy with or with out the money...

Late Michael Jackson’s father, Joe Jackson suffered stroke and three heart attacks after partying with younger women in Sao Paulo, Brazil.


Joe Jackson with Younger women

The 87-year old was reported to have consumed three Viagra pills before stepping out to party with the women.

It was speculated that the temptations at the Brazilian party may have been physically too much for Michael Jackson’s father to bare.

Meanwhile, Joe flew into the country two weeks ago for a pleasure trip and set aside about $200,000 for birthday blowout in his honor but ended up being rushed to hospital on the eve of the celebration.



Just hours after his arrival in the country, the Jackson patriarch was spotted dining with a group of ladies at an upscale restaurant.

According to his representative, he was ‘feeling unwell‘ the following day and was eventually taken to hospital for what turned to have been a stroke.

https://www.naij.com/508061-check-happens-late-michael-jacksons-father-taking-3-viagra-pills.html

INTROVERT:
They won't learn

Oh ye Front Page mongers, the owner don come back oo!

With the growing rate of unemployment and too many people trooping in to the job market yearly, there is no doubt that there are thousands applying for the same job you applied for. Therefore, the issue of your CV have to be taken seriously and here are some of the top ten things you're not supposed to add to you CV....
#1) AN OBJECTIVE THAT MAKES NO SENSE:

A crazed objective will make your employer to throw your CV into the trash can! Eg. I need this job so I could buy a new cloth. You must be kidding! go work D&G!
#2)ILLRELEVANT JOB EXPREIENCE:
That you're good at washing clothes when you worked as a laundry man is not a relevant job experience to now add to your present CV! If its not relevant, then don't add it..
#3)ACHIEVEMENT THAT ARE NOT TRULY ACHIEVEMENT:
We all know that its good to include our achievements to our CV; but, you must agree with me that there are some achievement that are not necessary, EG, I was my school football team Captain!
#4)PHYSICAL DISCRIPTION:
There is absolutely no need for you to describe your looks,hight or weight to your Employer and some even go as far as adding their picture to their CV! Abegi grow up!
#5)PROPER HOBBY LISTING:
I must admit that some of us don't have "proper" hobbies and if you fall into that categories, there is no need to include your weird hobbies on your CV...
#6)PRIVATE INFORMATION:
Except you're applying for a job in a religious organisation like church or mosque, please do not add your religious believe to your cv, don't even add your tribe or sexual orientations cause this might mare your CV.
#7)BAD GRAMMAR:
Please if you no sabi grammar, no add ham to your CV!!!
#CONTACT ADDRESS THAT WILL RAISE A FLAG:
Don't put Email address that are childish an weird as your contact email. EG. Iambatman@yahoo.com,,
#9)NO LYING:
You don't have to lie about where you live, working experience or even hobbies..
#10)COLOURFUL CV:
Ladies are mostly guilty of this, they tend to use red,green, blue pen and colourful fonts on their CV! Your employer no ask for you slum book!
Feel free to add yours..

justanotherme:
lol pls explain the relationship between food satisfaction and fork + Knife

Well let me help, before you pick the next pieces of rice, the one in your mouth is done and digested!

Watin I wan use the Knife for? Till today I'm a perfect user of fork to eat/cut swallow but not with the knife!

Watin Nepa never see?! Residents use juju to chase away NEPA officials!

ORACLE1975:
NIGERIA.

^^ My country...

The immediate past Chief of Defense, Alex Badeh has in his recent outpouring confession, indicted the former People's Democratic Party, PDP, his immediate predecessors in the army and former president Goodluck Ebele Jonathan in the deadly success of Boko Haram's terror campaign against Nigeria that led to over 100,000 dead and maimed and millions displaced with property and livelihood losses running into billions of dollars in the northeast and Nigeria as a wh***.
The former military chief said, "Over the years, the military was neglected and under-equipped to ensure the survival of certain regimes, while other regimes, based on advice from some foreign nations, deliberately reduced the size of the military and underfunded it."
The past 16 years through which Nigeria made a killing in oil sale profits, come directly under the scope of Badeh's pointed accusation. The question is, where is the money or the equipment budgeted for this purpose and how does the PDP and over-compensated Senate account for this missing funds/equipment?
The United States had similarly requested a probe of Jonathan's four year military chief, Azubuike Ihejirika for allegedly usurping billions meant for kitting the Nigerian army.
In the five years from 2009-2014, Nigeria's defense department gulped a stunning $33 billion USD! And in spite of this quite comfortable sum of money budgeted, Alex Badeh submitted that the Army was "neglected and ill-equipped!" So where is our money?
It is recollected that towards the end of Jonathan's tenure, realizing his defeat was imminent and desperately desirous to at last attempt to put a halt on Boko Haram in the hope of increasing his odds at the Presidential polls, former President Goodluck Jonathan in a last minute ditch, borrowed $1 billion to use to arm the army for the infamous 6-week pre-election war.
Nigerians are now looking at former chief Ihejirika and former Commander in Chief of the Nigerian Armed forces, former President Goodluck Ebele Jonathan to come and defend themselves in view of Badeh's strong allegations: where is the billions of dollars worth of equipment or where is the money?
PDP stalwart and former President Ibrahim Babangida is also expected to account for under-equipping of the Nigerian army as well as the Olusegun Obasanjo past administration which ruled Nigeria from 1999-2007 and also enjoyed a comfortable oil surplus.
Further: Badeh's confessions vindicate the several hundred Nigerian troops sacked or sentenced to death. Because troops are not expected to be altruistic and suicidal if they are sent to combat a deadly army while "under-equipped" as Alwx Badeh described their situation.
http://community.vanguardngr.com/m/discussion?id=4565467%3ATopic%3A889279

writetopoker:
One caught, 10 recruited rubbish

For once get small Faith and appreciate our Nigerian Army!
You think say boko haram na world class organisation, way go follow any process to elect leader?

donholy28:
Well done...but where is the pic of d foolish boko haram commander

For security reason, they won't dish out the picture to the public...

Ahzyz:
I don't bilivit.

Me dey even think say e pass that amount!

Cutehector:
Most of d time talkn trash I guess

Before nkor, e get anything reasonable way we(youth) wan talk? Thank God for social media if not that money for dey climb trillion!!

48noble:
And data bundle

O boy make we no even near data bundle oo, if not person fit faint oo!

Nigerians Spend N212bn On Phone Calls Monthly
Nkechi Issac

Out of the over 180 million Nigerians in the country, 146 million of them are active subscribers and they spend about N212 billion on calls every month, LEADERSHIP investigations have revealed.

The findings were arrived at using the current active mobile subscriptions in the country and the subsisting Average Revenue Per User (ARPU), the financial performance benchmark in the telecoms industry that measures the average monthly revenue generated by operators from telecoms subscribers, for Nigeria.

Going by the latest statistics released by the telecoms regulatory body, the Nigerian Communications Commission (NCC), active telephone lines in the nation’s telecommunication industry stood at 146, 561. 744 by May 2015.

According to data released by industry leading operators, ARPU in Nigeria’s telecoms market is estimated at around $6 (N1, 452), given the foreign exchange rate at N242.

LEADERSHIP investigation revealed that with an ARPU of N1,452 and a subscriber base of 146 million, Nigeria’s telephone users now pay an estimated N212 billion monthly in accessing telecom service, especially calls making.
The picture below is the Speaker House of Representatives Yakubu Dogara listen to "calls" during a courtesy visit by the past speakers and deputies to the newly elected speakers, at the National Assembly in Abuja
http://leadership.ng/news/451362/nigerians-spend-n212bn-on-phone-calls-monthly
So Fellow Niaralanders, how much do you spend on phone calls?

Fire service always failing nigerian since 1960,

The Independent National Electoral Commission’s office in Obingwa Local Government Area of Abia, was this morning razed by fire.

According to News Agency of Nigeria’s (NAN) reports, the fire destroyed documents, furniture and other valuables in the office leaving only the wall of the building and remains of materials made of steel.



A witness, Chinyere Akwarandu, an official of the local government council said a corps member alerted him of the fire at 11 a.m.

Akwarandu said the NYSC member serving with the INEC reported that the building was on fire.



On arrival at the scene, efforts were made to put out the fire but the force of the inferno later prompted them to attempt to prevent it from extending to other buildings in the council secretariat.

”We tried what we could to stop it but it was too fierce for us. Earlier, we had called the fire service but they told us they had no diesel to drive their truck,” the witness said.

NAN reported that Gov. Okezie Ikpeazu of Abia was among the early visitors to the council secretariat to assess the extent of damage.
https://www.naij.com/505314-fire-gulps-inec-office.html

bigiyaro:
it ws awkward at first bt i did it. Jst focus.

You strong oo, me don dey try ham since last night!

UrennaNkoli:
Yes

I won't say you are lying, but I don't believe you....

UrennaNkoli:
I did it

And both(hand and leg) moved separate ways at the same time?

Do you know it is impossible to move you hand(use your right hand) in a clock wise direction and move your leg(also right leg) in an anti clock direction!?
You don't believe it right? Oya make we try....
Sit on a chair(stool) raise your right leg up and start moving it (as if you want to draw a circle on the floor) in a clock wise direction, now lift your hand(if you are using your right leg, it must also be your right hand) make a gesture as if you writing on a board and try to move your hand in n anti clock Direction.... Tell me how it went.... Let's go...

Something that was meant to make her look "attractive", Now makes her ............. Fill in the gap cause am shut of words!

BREAKING NEWS: UNN POST UTME FORM OFFICIALLY OUT The University Of Nigeria, Nsukka hereby invites candidates who made their first choice in the 2015 University Tertiary Matriculation Examination (UTME) and scored 200 and above for screening. The computer Based Test screening will be conducted at the Nsukka campus of the University as follows: DAY ONE: DATE: Tuesday August 11, 2015: FACULTIES: Agricultural Sciences, Medicine and Surgery, Dentistry, Health Science and Technology, Veterinary Sciences and Engineering. TIME; 9:am - 11am - Veterinary Medicine (All candidates) Agricultural Sciences (All candidates) 11:am - 1:pm - Medicine and Surgery (All candicates) Dentistry (All candidates) 1:pm - 3pm - Health Sciences and Technology (All Candidates) 3pm - 5pm - Engineering (All candidates) DAY TWO: DATE: Wednesday August 12, 2015: FACULTIES: Law, Arts and Education. TIME- 8am - 10am - Law (All candidates) Arts( mass communication) 12pm - 2pm - All other departnments in Faculty of Arts. 2pm- 4pm - Education (All candidates) DAY THREE: DATE: Thursady August 13, 2015: FACULTIES: Biological sciences Phamaceutical Sciences, physical sciences and envuronmental Studies: TIME: 9am - 11am - Biological sciences(Plantscience and biotechnology, Mocrobiology, Zoology and Environmental studies and Combined Biological sciences) 11am - 1pm - Biological Sciences (Biochemistry) Pharmaceutical Sciences (All candidates) 1pm - 3pm - Physical Sciences(All candidates) 3pm - 5pm - Environmental Studies (All candidates) DAY FOUR: DATE: Friday August 14th, 2015: FACULTIES: Business Administration and Social sciences. TIME: 9am - 11am - Business Administration (All candidates) 11am - 1pm - Social Sciences (Econs, Public Admin and Sociology/Anthropology) 1pm- 3pm - Social Sciences ( All other departments in Social sciences) ONLINE REGISTRATION: A) Eligible candidates shouls pay a processing fee of Two thousand naira (N2000) only through e- transact for online registration at any branche of: -UBA - Zenith Bank Plc. - Access Bank Plc - First Bank of nigeria Plc. - Fidelity Bank. B) Online Registration commences on Monday 27th July 2015 and ends on Friday 7th August 2015. Those who fail to register within this period will not be screened . Candidates should access and complete the University Of Nigeria 2015/2016 Post-Utme screening form online at unnportal.unn.edu.ng C) All candidates are required to bring the following for the screening exercise. i. A copy of ONLINE form duly completed ii. 2015/2016 JAMB slip. No GSM handsets, calculators or any other extraneous material should be brought into the screening halls. Venue for the screening is Nnamdi Azikiwe Library (Digital Laboratory), University of Nigeria, Nsukka campus. BLIND CANDIDATES: Blind candidates should register online but they are not invited to the screening exercise. Candidates may also visit University of Nigerian website for this information. The deatils of the screening for direct entry will be announced later.