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Forum Games / Birthday Game by chidonzone(m): 11:32pm On Aug 30, 2012 |
[color=#990000][/color]WHAT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY? Jan: I stabbed Feb: I robbed Mar: I banged Apr: I shot May: I kicked Jun: I killed Jul: I raped Aug: I slapped Sept: I kissed Oct: I smoked with Nov: I jumped Dec: I hugged --------------- -- 01-02: a bag of weed. 03-04: a homeless guy. 05-06: the Trojan man. 07-08: a lesbian. 09-10: a gangster. 11-12: my snowman 13-14: Chris Brown. 15-16: a chair. 17-18: my ex. 19-20 a beggar. 21-22: your workmate. 23-24: your cousin. 25-26: a love-vendor. 27-28: a bowl of cereal. 29-30: my hoe. 31: a doll. Add your month to your date of birth and comment the sentence! JUST FOR FUN! E.g born 6th june becomes i killed the trojan man. |
Jokes Etc / A Female Teacher And Her 3rd Grade Student. by chidonzone(m): 1:29pm On Aug 23, 2012 |
A-female-teacher was havin problem wit a boy in her class of 3rd grade. The boy said, M'am, I shld b in 4th grade,i'm smarter dan my sis and she's in 4th grade. The M'am (teacher) had heard enough of his complaints and took d boy to the principal's office. She explained everytin to d principal who decided to test d boy wit some ?s dat a 4th grade shld knw. Principal:3+3? Boy: 6. Principal: 6*6? Boy:36 and so on. D principal asked d boy many oda ?s & d boy got them ryt. D principal then asked M'am to send d boy to 4th grade. M'am decided to ask some more ?s and principal agreed. M'am: wat does a cow have 4 of dat i hav only 2 of. Boy:legs. M'am:wats in ur pants dat u hav but i dnt hav? Boy: pockets. M'am: wat starts wit a C and ends wit a T,is hairy,oval,delicious and contains thin whitish liquid? Boy: coconut. M'am:Wat goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky? The principals eyes opened really wide,bt b4 he cld stop d answer, d boy was taking charge. Boy: bubble gum. M'am: u stick ur pole me. U tie me down to get me up, i get wet b4 u do. Wat am I? Boy: tent. D principal was luking restless nw. M'am: a finger goes in. U fiddle wit me wen bored. D best man always has me 1st. Wat am I? Boy: wedding Ring. M'am: i come in many sizes. Wen am nt wel,I drip,wen u blow me,u feel good? Boy: nose. M'am: i hav a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates, I come wit a quiver. Boy: Arrow. M'am:wat starts wit 'F' and ends wit a 'K' and if U dnt get it,u've to use ur hand? Boy: Fork. M'am: wats it dat all me hav, its longer in some men dan others,d pope doesnt use his and a man gives it to his wife after marriage? Boy: Surname. M'am: wat part of d man has no bone,but has muscles wit a lot of veins,likes pumping and is responsible 4 making love. Boy: Heart. D M'am said she is done. The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told d teacher;'send d boy to university,I got d 10 questions wrong myself. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Sports / Olympics 2012,nigeria Representatives Went To London To See The Queen! by chidonzone(m): 10:10pm On Aug 12, 2012 |
Its appaling that Nigeria with potentials and ingenius people cannot provide those who can bring us the medals.With lavish sum spent on such venture,not even aluminium to show for it.Where are Ijaw boys who can stay in water for days, the street boxers who are termed street kings,the youth who can lift anything,Lagos bus conductors who can run at car speed and all those with special talents that can be groomed and nurtured to world class.It shows the value we place on sports development in Nigeria.Our representatives to Olympics London simply portray the nursery rhyme,pussy cat pussy cat where have you been,have been to London to see the Queen. |
Jokes Etc / Rich Man House Service by chidonzone(m): 5:20pm On Aug 10, 2012 |
Na. wa for all these rich people ooo. I went wit a frend to visit his babe frm a very rich family. D maid approached me&asked MAID: what would u lyk to have, fruit juice, yoghurt, tea, chocolate, cappuccino , frapuccino or coffee? ME: tea pls. MAID: Ceylon tea, Indian tea, herbal tea, kericho gold tea,bush tea or green tea? ME: Ceylon tea pls. MAID: how do u want it, black or white? ME: white. ... MAID: milk or fresh cream? ME: with milk. MAID: goat milk or cow milk? ME: cow’s milk. MAID: freezeland cow or Afrikaner cow? ME: umm, lemme go with d freezeland cow. MAID: would u lyk it with sweetner, sugar or honey? ME: sugar. MAID: bee sugar or cane sugar? ME: cane sugar MAID: white, brown or yellow sugar? ME: abeg, forget abt d tea, jst give me a glass of water. MAID: mineral, tap or distilled water? ME: mineral water.MAID: flavored or non flavored? ME: infact get me an empty glass! MAID: do u want a tumbler, wine glass, champagne flute or a beer mug? ME: abeg, free me, i go swallow my own spit..." 1 Like |
Food / Re: Why "Hungry Man" On Indomie Pack? by chidonzone(m): 12:15am On Aug 07, 2012 |
dats innovation and market strategy,they must maintain tempo. |
Politics / Patrick Obahiagbon On The Death Of Ghana President by chidonzone(m): 1:44pm On Jul 29, 2012 |
President Professor John EvansAtta Mills’ passing on is a mere ephemeral recumbent hibernation; an empyrean paradisiac rendezvous lies ahead. Heaven is the terminus. The ecclesiastic, executive and legislature and all Ghanaians at large have lost a solitaire. Any veritable verification of the verity of President Professor John Evans Atta Mills' demise? I am in a state of metagrabolised melancholia.. |
Education / Tuition Fees Of Nigeria Universities by chidonzone(m): 9:32pm On Jul 27, 2012 |
With admission lists being released, and students getting prepared to resume, we found it imperative to let you know the amount of money, you would be coughing out per annum, as you begin your Journey to Excellence. Note that these figure here may not be accurate with all schools. Some schools might be paying less or slightly more than what is here. The poster intended to give a rough estimate based on tuition for first year studentsfrom his research. It is a guest post by a student. You can help make his publication useful by constructively commenting below with the right figures from your school if you are better informed. Thank you. Below are the Tuition Fees of Major Nigerian Universities. YABATECH=>#35000 OAU=>#37,000 UNIZIK=>#67,000 FUNAAB=>#48,000 AAU=>#80,000 OOU=>#135,000 RSUST=>#40,000 FUTO=>#42,800 DELSU=>#38000 TSUJ=>#32,000 FUOYE=>#75,000 UNIBEN=>#50,000 NASARAWA=>#21,000 UNIPORT=>#36000 ABU=>#41,000 LOKOJA=#38,000 MINNA=>#30,000 LASU=>#190,000 – 250,000 UI =>#29,000 AAUA=>#50,000 UNN=>#39,000 NOUN=#38,000 BUK=>#42,000 UNILAG=>#40,000 ILORIN=>#35,000 UNIOSUN=>#85,000 TASUED=>#60,000 LAUTECH=>#95,000 UNAD=>#105,000 BOWEN=>#550,000 ABUJA=>#40,000 IMSU=> FREE (Indegines) #53,750 (non- Indegines) UNIJOS=>39,000 ABU=>#35,000 UNICAL=#40,000 ANSU=>#46,000 KSUSTA=>#35,000 LEAD=>#1.5 million FUTA=>#47,000 ABSU=>#90,000 YOLA=>#34,000 BAYERO=>31,000 UNICAL=#38,500 AKSU=>#30,000 Osun poly #28000 Ibadan poly # 45000 Fed poly ado #29000 Owo poly #32000 Moshood abiola poly #75000 Laspotech #38000 Federal poly oko #28000 Federal poly ilaro #30000 Federal poly bida #23000 (it varies with Department) Auchi polytechnic #27000 Kaduna poly #24000 Abia poly #28000 Enugu poly #26500 Kwara poly #21000 Nekede #32000 PASS THIS AROUND, LET EVERYONE KNOW HOW MUCH HE OR SHE IS EXPECTED TO PAY. Good luck. |
Nairaland / General / New Lexicon by chidonzone(m): 5:23am On Jun 27, 2012 |
New lexicon to our dictionary - 1. Farouk (Verb): to collect bribe and deny it, attributing it to video doctoring. Past tense Farouked. Example: to farouk is human. 2. Farouker (noun) a person who farouks. Example: the National Assembly is peopled with faroukers, 3. Faroukee (noun) a person who is farouked. Example: the despirate contractor became a faroukee in order to win the business. 4. Faroukology (noun), the study of bribe collection and denial of obvious evidence. Example: the politician has a degree in faroukology from University of Corruption. 5. Faroukracy, (noun) government of bribery by the bribe givers for th bribe takers. Example our nation has been practicing faroukracy from independence. 6. Faroukism, (noun) the political ideology of bribery, corruption and cover ups. Example: EFCC has prosecuted many advocates of faroukism. 7. Faroukiosis (noun) a cronic disorder of bribery taking and denial. Example: the doctor diagnosed the young politician of acute faroukiosis. 8. Faroukish, (adjective) having the appearance or relating to bribery and denial. Example: results of the investigation appear really faroukish. 9. Faroukistically, (adverb) carried out or done in a way that suggests a farouk. Example: the Lawmakers carried on faroukistically.b |
Politics / Re: Northern Elders Reject Jonathan’s N20million “gift” by chidonzone(m): 9:58pm On Jun 07, 2012 |
jonathan,stop acting to the script of ur advisers,use ur thinking faculty to reason b4 u act.be sincere in ur approach,be decisive and firm in ur choice of actions,remember money is not everything,dont assume d summary intelligents of d people and act base on consultations and concensus.Until then will he lead us to the promise land. |
Jobs/Vacancies / Re: Dragnet oil and gas company Aptitude Test may 2012 @ Port harcourt by chidonzone(m): 10:53pm On May 08, 2012 |
i am invited too,pls can someone pls send me the material to, talk2chidex1@gmail.com . Thanks |
Foreign Affairs / Re: Ellen Johnson Sirleaf & 2 Others Win 2011 Nobel Peace Prize by chidonzone(m): 2:15pm On Oct 07, 2011 |
the first and last time a Nigerian cling such prize was in 1985 when prof. Wole Soyinka claim his Nobel price for literature.I begin to doubt the credibility of such prices when the likes of Chinua Achebe are not acknowledged. |
Education / Re: 80% Of First Class And 2.1 Failed Nnpc Test by chidonzone(m): 2:44pm On Aug 16, 2011 |
Nigeria university graduates develops their mind to garbage in garbage out and not on problem solving mind-set.most of them hates logical questions and when confronted with one,they are confused because they did not train their mind for it.their failure might be the nature of questions?,time factor and our theoritical methods employed by our universities rather than practicals |
Celebrities / Re: Sam Loco Efe Dies At 66 by chidonzone(m): 8:19pm On Aug 07, 2011 |
He is a veteran and one of Nollywood finest actor.He will be greatly missed by his fans.R.I.P |
Celebrities / Re: Sam Loco Efe Dies At 66 by chidonzone(m): 8:12pm On Aug 07, 2011 |
He will be missed for his humour.R.I.P |
Politics / Re: Nigerians Already Protesting For Bankole by chidonzone(m): 1:39pm On Jun 11, 2011 |
they should free bankole.if they have case against him, they should start with the #10b loan first. Why throwing away the #10b loan to protect some people & persecute the other? |
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