₦airaland Forum

[color=#990000][/color]WHAT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Jan: I stabbed
Feb: I robbed
Mar: I banged
Apr: I shot
May: I kicked
Jun: I killed
Jul: I raped
Aug: I slapped
Sept: I kissed
Oct: I smoked with
Nov: I jumped
Dec: I hugged
--------------- --
01-02: a bag of weed.
03-04: a homeless guy.
05-06: the Trojan man.
07-08: a lesbian.
09-10: a gangster.
11-12: my snowman
13-14: Chris Brown.
15-16: a chair.
17-18: my ex.
19-20 a beggar.
21-22: your workmate.
23-24: your cousin.
25-26: a love-vendor.
27-28: a bowl of cereal.
29-30: my hoe.
31: a doll.
Add your month to your date of birth and
comment the sentence!
JUST FOR FUN!
E.g born 6th june becomes
i killed the trojan man.

A-female-teacher was havin problem wit a
boy in her class of 3rd grade. The boy said,
M'am, I shld b in 4th grade,i'm smarter dan
my sis and she's in 4th grade. The M'am
(teacher) had heard enough of his
complaints and took d boy to the principal's
office. She explained everytin to d principal
who decided to test d boy wit some ?s dat a
4th grade shld knw. Principal:3+3? Boy: 6.
Principal: 6*6? Boy:36 and so on. D
principal asked d boy many oda ?s & d boy
got them ryt. D principal then asked M'am
to send d boy to 4th grade. M'am decided to
ask some more ?s and principal agreed.
M'am: wat does a cow have 4 of dat i hav
only 2 of. Boy:legs. M'am:wats in ur pants
dat u hav but i dnt hav? Boy: pockets. M'am:
wat starts wit a C and ends wit a T,is
hairy,oval,delicious and contains thin
whitish liquid? Boy: coconut. M'am:Wat
goes in hard and pink then comes out soft
and sticky? The principals eyes opened
really wide,bt b4 he cld stop d answer, d
boy was taking charge. Boy: bubble gum.
M'am: u stick ur pole me. U tie me down to
get me up, i get wet b4 u do. Wat am I? Boy:
tent. D principal was luking restless nw.
M'am: a finger goes in. U fiddle wit me wen
bored. D best man always has me 1st. Wat
am I? Boy: wedding Ring. M'am: i come in
many sizes. Wen am nt wel,I drip,wen u
blow me,u feel good? Boy: nose. M'am: i hav
a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates, I come wit a
quiver. Boy: Arrow. M'am:wat starts wit 'F'
and ends wit a 'K' and if U dnt get it,u've to
use ur hand? Boy: Fork. M'am: wats it dat all
me hav, its longer in some men dan
others,d pope doesnt use his and a man
gives it to his wife after marriage? Boy:
Surname. M'am: wat part of d man has no
bone,but has muscles wit a lot of
veins,likes pumping and is responsible 4
making love. Boy: Heart. D M'am said she is
done. The principal breathed a sigh of relief
and told d teacher;'send d boy to
university,I got d 10 questions wrong
myself.

Its appaling that Nigeria with potentials and ingenius people cannot provide those who can bring us the medals.With lavish sum spent on such venture,not even aluminium to show for it.Where are Ijaw boys who can stay in water for days, the street boxers who are termed street kings,the youth who can lift anything,Lagos bus conductors who can run at car speed and all those with special talents that can be groomed and nurtured to world class.It shows the value we place on sports development in Nigeria.Our representatives to Olympics London simply portray the nursery rhyme,pussy cat pussy cat where have you been,have been to London to see the Queen.

Na. wa for all these rich people ooo. I went
wit a frend to visit his babe frm a very rich
family. D maid approached me&asked
MAID: what would u lyk to have, fruit juice,
yoghurt, tea, chocolate, cappuccino ,
frapuccino or coffee?
ME: tea pls.
MAID: Ceylon tea, Indian tea, herbal tea,
kericho gold tea,bush tea or green tea?
ME: Ceylon tea pls. MAID: how do u want it,
black or white?
ME: white. ...
MAID: milk or fresh cream?
ME: with milk.
MAID: goat milk or cow milk?
ME: cow’s milk.
MAID: freezeland cow or Afrikaner cow?
ME: umm, lemme go with d freezeland cow.
MAID: would u lyk it with sweetner, sugar
or honey?
ME: sugar.
MAID: bee sugar or cane sugar?
ME: cane sugar
MAID: white, brown or yellow sugar?
ME: abeg, forget abt d tea, jst give me a
glass of water.
MAID: mineral, tap or distilled water?
ME: mineral water.MAID: flavored or non
flavored?
ME: infact get me an empty glass!
MAID: do u want a tumbler, wine glass,
champagne flute or a beer mug?
ME: abeg, free me, i go swallow my own
spit..."

dats innovation and market strategy,they must maintain tempo.

President Professor John EvansAtta Mills’
passing on is a mere ephemeral recumbent
hibernation; an empyrean paradisiac
rendezvous lies ahead. Heaven is the
terminus. The ecclesiastic, executive and
legislature and all Ghanaians at large have
lost a solitaire. Any veritable verification of
the verity of President Professor John
Evans Atta Mills' demise? I am in a state of
metagrabolised melancholia..

With admission lists being released, and
students getting prepared to resume, we
found it imperative to let you know the
amount of money, you would be
coughing out per annum, as you begin
your Journey to Excellence.
Note that these figure here may not be
accurate with all schools. Some schools
might be paying less or slightly more than
what is here. The poster intended to give
a rough estimate based on tuition for
first year studentsfrom his research. It is
a guest post by a student. You can help
make his publication useful by
constructively commenting below with
the right figures from your school if you
are better informed. Thank you.
Below are the Tuition Fees of Major
Nigerian Universities.
YABATECH=>#35000
OAU=>#37,000
UNIZIK=>#67,000
FUNAAB=>#48,000
AAU=>#80,000
OOU=>#135,000
RSUST=>#40,000
FUTO=>#42,800
DELSU=>#38000
TSUJ=>#32,000
FUOYE=>#75,000
UNIBEN=>#50,000
NASARAWA=>#21,000
UNIPORT=>#36000
ABU=>#41,000
LOKOJA=#38,000
MINNA=>#30,000
LASU=>#190,000 – 250,000
UI =>#29,000
AAUA=>#50,000
UNN=>#39,000
NOUN=#38,000
BUK=>#42,000
UNILAG=>#40,000
ILORIN=>#35,000
UNIOSUN=>#85,000
TASUED=>#60,000
LAUTECH=>#95,000
UNAD=>#105,000
BOWEN=>#550,000
ABUJA=>#40,000
IMSU=> FREE (Indegines) #53,750 (non-
Indegines)
UNIJOS=>39,000
ABU=>#35,000
UNICAL=#40,000
ANSU=>#46,000
KSUSTA=>#35,000
LEAD=>#1.5 million
FUTA=>#47,000
ABSU=>#90,000
YOLA=>#34,000
BAYERO=>31,000
UNICAL=#38,500
AKSU=>#30,000
Osun poly #28000
Ibadan poly # 45000
Fed poly ado #29000
Owo poly #32000
Moshood abiola poly #75000
Laspotech #38000
Federal poly oko #28000
Federal poly ilaro #30000
Federal poly bida #23000 (it varies with
Department)
Auchi polytechnic #27000
Kaduna poly #24000
Abia poly #28000
Enugu poly #26500
Kwara poly #21000
Nekede #32000
PASS THIS AROUND, LET EVERYONE
KNOW HOW MUCH HE OR SHE IS
EXPECTED TO PAY.
Good luck.

New lexicon to our
dictionary -
1. Farouk (Verb): to
collect bribe and
deny it, attributing
it to video
doctoring. Past
tense Farouked.
Example: to farouk
is human.
2. Farouker (noun)
a person who
farouks. Example:
the National
Assembly is
peopled with
faroukers, 3.
Faroukee (noun) a
person who is
farouked. Example:
the despirate
contractor became
a faroukee in order
to win the
business. 4.
Faroukology
(noun), the study
of bribe collection
and denial of
obvious evidence.
Example: the
politician has a
degree in
faroukology from
University of
Corruption. 5.
Faroukracy, (noun)
government of
bribery by the
bribe givers for th
bribe takers.
Example our nation
has been practicing
faroukracy from
independence. 6.
Faroukism, (noun)
the political
ideology of bribery,
corruption and
cover ups.
Example: EFCC has
prosecuted many
advocates of
faroukism. 7.
Faroukiosis (noun)
a cronic disorder of
bribery taking and
denial. Example:
the doctor
diagnosed the
young politician of
acute faroukiosis.
8. Faroukish,
(adjective) having
the appearance or
relating to bribery
and denial.
Example: results of
the investigation
appear really
faroukish. 9.
Faroukistically,
(adverb) carried
out or done in a
way that suggests
a farouk. Example:
the Lawmakers
carried on
faroukistically.b

jonathan,stop acting to the script of ur advisers,use ur thinking faculty to reason b4 u act.be sincere in ur approach,be decisive and firm in ur choice of actions,remember money is not everything,dont assume d summary intelligents of d people and act base on consultations and concensus.Until then will he lead us to the promise land.

i am invited too,pls can someone pls send me the material to, talk2chidex1@gmail.com . Thanks

the first and last time a Nigerian cling such prize was in 1985 when prof. Wole Soyinka claim his Nobel price for literature.I begin to doubt the credibility of such prices when the likes of Chinua Achebe are not acknowledged.

Nigeria university graduates develops their mind to  garbage in garbage out and not on problem solving mind-set.most of them hates logical questions and when confronted with one,they are confused  because they did not train their mind for it.their failure  might be the nature of questions?,time factor  and  our  theoritical  methods  employed by   our universities rather than practicals

He is a veteran and one of Nollywood  finest actor.He will be greatly missed  by his fans.R.I.P

He will be missed for his humour.R.I.P

they should free bankole.if they have case against him, they should start with the #10b loan first. Why throwing away the #10b loan to protect some people & persecute the other?