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KingzPen: EPISODE 1

It was on a sunny Tuesday afternoon, I sat down at the quadrangle thinking on how to go about with Dr Longe’s assignment. Dr Longe is my literature lecturer. He is bronze in complexion and diminutive. He is baldheaded but he wears cap nine times out of ten because he dresses in ankara (a yoruba native attire). He lectures the 300 level students.
I have been thinking so deeply for minutes but the idea was still bleak.

“Eureka!” I shouted on the spur of the moment.

Everyone around sitted at the quadrangle looked at me astonished.

“The guy is drunk.” Some shu-shued to themselves “He is so high on igbo(weed)”

Some chuckled; concealing their mouth with their hand. I was so engulfed in joy that I finally got the idea to my assignment, so I wasn’t really perturbed about their jests.
I rushed to a proximate lecture room to write down the idea I got. I smirked and immediately started writing.

After spending days and nights working on Dr Longe’s assignment, I finally finished. It was late already for me to proceed back to my hall of residence so I decided to sleep in the lecture room where I just completed my assignment. I layed down on a long bench, and kept my books on the table in front of me. I last remembered it was 2:14a.m. before I dozed off. I didn’t really enjoy my sleep because, the army of mosquitoes that attacked me were more or less like the boko-haram sect in action. They made lot of annoying sounds that made me slap myself every single minute. I was so beleaguered by these vermin so I decided to sit up and crosscheck my assignment which I wrote in a foolscap sheet. While scanning, I fell asleep again; nature cannot be cheated, so I placed my ever nodding head to rest on the table. It was a nice sleep. The mosquitoes have retreated. I was so comfortable, exchanging my hands simultaneously from under my resting head. I began to snore. I snored very loud, just as loud as a locomotive train. I disturbed other reading students in the room. They were all grumbling and mumbling at my unpleasant sound. No one could dare wake me up or dare touch me because I look fierce and huge. The students started leaving the room because the enviroment was becoming bright. They all left me still sleeping; punishment for disturbing them. I was later tapped by a security personnel. I didn’t really feel being tapped so I change my sleeping position. He has no time for nonsense so he decided to give me a slap that got my sleepyhead back on track. I woke up confused. I was bolted from the blue when I didn’t see other students in the room. I swiftly wanted to arrange my books when I noticed my assignment is gone. I had drooled all over my assignment paper and my unremitting hand movement over it made it look like a papier-mache material.

“Won’t you go to your hall?” the security man asked with a commanding tone.

I frowned at him with one corner of my left eye, because my 30marks is just lying useless in front of me; Dr Longe’s assignment is his test. The security man respected his old self and walked away because I could daze him in a jiffy. I really don’t know what to do at that very moment. I don’t have much time to write another assignment and I can’t afford to forfeit 30marks, I thought to myself. The best option was to filch someone’s assignment. It was already 7:19 a.m. I hurriedly set out for my hall.
Dr Longe’s lecture is for 8:00a.m. I have less than an hour to be prepared and get my filching mission executed. I got to my hall with the plan of just brushing my teeth and combing my hair; bathing was never an option if I really wanted to accomplish all I had in mind. While I was brushing, I tried all I could to silence the soft dissenting voice that kept playing over and over again in my brain. Although am an exco in my church fellowship, but never will I let that interfare in my academics. I will beg for forgiveness afterall, I smiled as I thought to myself. I set off for my mission. On my way I diverged to meet Bayo, my buddy, at the cafeteria whom I explained my intentions to. He succumb so easily because I bought him a bottle of maltina to step down the beans and bread he was gobbling. Our plan was well arranged before we arrived at the lecture room.
It was 7:47a.m. when we entered. Everywhere was raucous; guys arguing loudly about the soccer match that was played yesterday, some girls were jealously gisting about the current Miss Nigeria; why it should or shouldn’t be her that won. Me and Bayo were sitted at the back of the lecture room looking all around like primary school pupils attempting to cross an express road. After meticulously searching for our prey, we finally found one, Sade. Sade is a busybody, she was busy jumping from one gisting group to the other. While she was away from her sit, Bayo made the move according to plan. He went straight to meet Sade to distract her away from her sitting position while I ransack her bag for her assignment. Bayo is a cute guy; girls in my class trips for him, so that gave him an edge to arrest Sade’s interest. Oh my! Sade’s bag gave me arduous time to open. I was so struggling with the zip of her bag that I obliviously began to sweat. The sweat that kept dripping because of fear of been caught in the act. Zip! It finally opened. Thank God, I almost said. Sade was no longer interested in all Bayo have to say again because Dr Longe would soon come in. I raised my head to see Bayo trying his last chance by pulling her back as she turned to come to her sit. My hand was shaking while I buried my head back to continue searching. Bayo kept trying to ignite the fire of a romantic gist they were having while Sade fumed at every bit of it.

“Good Morning Sir!” some students greeted.

I raised my head up quickly only to see Sade looking at me shocked.