Kobojunkie:
I truly hope that you are able to break free from the curse of poverty which your family has chosen to saddle you and your siblings with.

Amen i already break it in IJN

My apologies for the late response I have been offline because I had no phone it is really a pity that my mum has gone back to my dad she has forced my siblings and I to go back with her i refused am still staying at the room she rented and she forced my siblings to go with her which they did against their wishes, I won't be staying here for long because she keep pressuring me to come home which I won't go back , like i said earlier if she goes back to my dad I will cut all ties with her which i am going to do soon, i have a good plan which I will not reveal here but i have sort out my next move and i will cut ties with all of them thanks so much for all your advices

8 days ago my mum left with my 3 siblings she has rented a room where we are staying right now , she left because my dad was not treating her well , he hasn't worked for like 10 years and he has abandoned all the responsibility for my mum he still treat her bad to make the matter worse he has invited his brother, the brother wife and their 5 children to our house making my mum to carry the responsibility of 14 people in a 2 bedroom house , my uncle wife felt so bad seeing her fellow woman suffering so she has decided to leave with her 2 daughters my uncle has refused to leave saying he came to Lagos to make money and the wife has left their 3 sons with him , i have spoken to my mum friends about the situation which they've helped to convince her to leave the marriage for her sanity , it wasn't easy for her to leave because she didn't want to but i was suprised 8 days ago when she said that she has gotten a place for us and she was leaving my dad for goods i was so happy to hear that she was finally leaving him, it was a moment of joy and she went to work while my siblings and I have taken the opportunity to pack their stuffs in my dad and uncle absence, moving them to the new place my mum begged my brother and i to stay with them we refused telling her we will be fine we are happy she and the younger ones have moved and we will manage just fine , i returned home at night my dad was on neck to tell him where my mum was , i said i have no idea he started shouting at me I have made her to leave i will not known peace, he was talking ongoing and i remained quiet only for me to returned back tonight to meet him at the front asking me to go back to where I came from he said he will allow me in when i bring my mum. , i asked him to let me get my clothes he refused to let me inside , i begged him to threw the bag outside he refused saying he will not allow me to take anything and i was still standing there pleading with him to give my clothes then my phone rang, it was my friend i answered the call while i was on the phone my uncle son came at the back of me and snatched the phone he ran to where my dad was and gave him the phone , i couldn't go closer.my dad because he was holding a belt to prevent from approaching him , he was telling me if i approached him he will hit me with the belt , i started crying begging him to give me my phone i will leave but he said no, i should first bring my mum back, i left in tears i am at my mum place i told her what my dad did to me and she was no happy but her response shocked me and it she is already thinking about going back to him just 8 days she left and her reasons are she don't want my dad to curse me and she will go and talk to him so he can forgive me and give me back my belongings, i told her i didn't insult him or disobey him and his curse will not touch me also told her to forget about my belonging i will save money to buy new ones but she is still adamant that she has to meet with him on thrusday and i strongly believe that if she meet with him they will get back together and she will move back with him sometimes I don't understand why my mum like suffering i swear if she get back with him i will cut ties with her i will move to a far away from all of them and will never have anything to do with them anymore sorry for the long story and please advise me

Beey:
Your dad & uncle are as crazy as they come. Two couch potatoes who will not work but just be leeching off women. Your dad has nerve. How dare he? Your mom’s health is bad & she continues to burst her back for grown men who don’t want to raise a finger to work, she’ll die and leave her children suffering while her lazy husband will marry another woman. My advise to you is to have your mom pick up an emergency leave at work. Help pack her clothes so that it won’t appear suspicious. She should leave as if she’s going to work and you can meet up with her to give her the clothes. She should then take a vehicle to a different location, probably to her parents home. Let your mom know to put herself first because even if she dies today, you kids together with your father will continue to leave & somehow you’ll survive. It’s outright comical how’s he’s giving orders of what should not be cooked and yet doesn’t want to work except sit & be fed by a woman when he has no disability.Enough of this nonsense! I know a lady whose husband brought his sister home. Their 4 kids were still young then though all grown now. He & his sister would sit home watching TV claiming they are on holiday. One day she gave them black tea with no sugar for breakfast. During lunch, she said there’s no food to cook since the two adults have decided to go on holiday & she can’t kill herself. That’s how reality kicked in and they went back to work because she refused to feed them.

Unfortunately my mum will not do it she will rather die with the burden of feeding them than starving them. I have washed my hands I will not say anything to her again because fighting for her will not bring anything good because she is not ready to put herself first and leave the house , if I continue fighting for her it will lead me to the streets. I don't want to go and live with a man who hasn't paid my brideprice yet I have decided to mind my business until I will be able to leave the house to my own house.

eyinjuege:


Maybe you should go to her office and tell her boss what's going on in the house?
Let her boss also know she has health issues, and is not looking after herself.
At least, maybe she will listen to her boss
Is she even buying and using her BP medications regularly?
I'm laying emphasis on her health issues because we all know if you fall seriously ill in Nigeria, you're on your own. So just try your best never to fall ill.
Having a stroke in Nigeria is almost guaranteed permanent disability or death for almost everyone especially the poor.

Thank you for the suggestion , I will go there on Monday even tho my mum will scold me but i have to do it for her own interest, hopefully something good will come out of it. Yes she's taking her BP medications everyday luckily for her she has a friend who run a pharmacy when she doesn't have the money she gives her on credit and she pays her later, i am even worrying about her having a stroke or dying because I am too young to carry her responsibility she should leave the house to stay alive for my younger ones , she cannot die leaving her responsibility for me. If she leaves me and my brother will be eating outside , no food for my dad and his brother by the time hunger catches them my uncle and family will have no other option but to leave , i wish she could understand the more she is entertaining them with foods the more they will stay and her health is ay stake. If she leaves the house her health will go back to normal

Ineedhustle247:
Please where do you live?
If you're close to Abuja
I believe I know someone that can help you and your situation with your Dad

I live in Lagos

capnies:


Don't wait for something to happen to your mother before you take action. By then all her suffering would have been invain. And history has a way of repeating itself.

It is better she's separated and alive than the late Mrs okoroigwe lazimarrism

There is nothing I can do for her because she is not ready to leave the house like I have suggested to her , I spoke to her friend I went to her shop to tell her about everything is going on in the house, she did talked to my mum and she was shouting at me for telling her friend our family business . She rather suffer to stay mrs because it is more important than her health

Mumben:
Ahh, your mum is strong oh. Feeding 13 mouths in this economy is not easy at all. If there's any way you can convince your mum to leave the house temporarily for her sanity, pls do. The environment is too toxic for considering the fact that she has HBP

But your mum enabled him all this while, did I read that he's been jobless for 10 years? He even had the effrontery to threaten her on the indomie she provided from her sweat instead if been appreciative. Your mum is too soft and he is capitalizing on that to frustrate her. You should continue to stand up for her, be her VOICE

True she is too soft she like keeping things in her heart instead of speaking up sometime I wish I could swap places with her, so I can talk sense to my dad. If I was my mum he wouldn't try that shit with me he is treating her like that because he knows she is quiet and she takes whatever shit he gives to her , he cannot try that with me

Helpout12345:
Those are irresponsible men right there.

It's never late for your uncle and his family to leave.

Tell your mother to stop feeding them, stop paying house rent. Everyone will find their ways soon after that.

He said he will not leave anytime soon ooo, he came to lagos to make cash

Mindlog:


With your mum's present health status and the pressures around her, her life is gradually ebbing and to be straightforward with you, there is a likelihood of her slumping and not making it.

True can you just imagine i got home from work, my mum is already asleep and my sister took me outside the house , she was telling me that my dad had insulted her for feeding them indomie 3 days in a row ,and he was shouting at her if tommorow is indomie again she will not like the outcome , he doesn't even care for the fact that she is trying her best to feed 13 mouths where does he expect her to get the money to feed 13 mouths in this economy , me i ate at my workplace. i am angry with him i wish i could talk sense to him, but i had to keep quiet for my mum sake. I swear if anything happens to her, I will never forgive him, he will suffer for the rest of his life

PlayMaker14:
Your dad is an irresponsible fellow and I will advise you tell your mom and your siblings to move out of that house till your dad regains his senses.

If your mom continue like this in that house, she will develop high blood pressure and die before Christmas.

She has high BP already but she will not move she rather stay and suffer

mariahAngel:
If I were your mum, I'd leave everything and everyone behind, and relocate to the village for my sanity and peace of mind.

Moving back to the village is not possible , I wish she could leave with my 3 younger ones to rent herself a room in a face me I slap you house so she can have peace of mind, me and my brother will survive fine with my salary but if I suggest that she will not listen to me she will rather stay and suffer

Good afternoon to everyone my mum is really suffering in her marriage and I really need your advice , I am the first child in a family of 5 children I was born in 1998, my mum is a midwife in a local hospital and my dad is not working for like 10 years. My mum is the breadwinner of the house with her little salary , and I am also working my salary is 12k , out of my younger ones only one is in school the last born 14 years the burden is too much on my mum she cannot afford to train all of us to the university , we thank God we are ssce holders one of my brother is a bricklayer we are stuggling to survive sometime i cried alot when i see my mum stressing herself to put the house in order but my dad doesn't appreciate all her effort . The issue of ground is last wk Friday i returned from work only to find my uncle , his wife and their 5 children in the house , they came from the village i was shocked because we were not aware of their coming , I greeted them and went straight to my mum room, she was in a very bad mood , I asked her if she was fine she didn't say any single words to me, she was badly affected with the coming of my uncle and his family, I felt her pain because she is struggling to keep the family up and in the order side my dad is bending it how asked myself how are we going to survive in a 2 bedroom house with 14 0f us plus feeding and everythng will be in my mum head , my dad has instructed me and my 2 sisters to leave our room for my uncle and his 2 daughters , while we moved to their bedroom and my 2 brothers and my uncle 3 children will sleep in the parlour. How can a big woman like me to be sleeping in my parents room, I did not complain we went to the room we packed our belonging and moved it to my parents room. That night I didn't catch sleep seeing my mum loosing sleep she didn't say anything but she was awake all night , she was trouble a lot was going through her mind , in the morning I heard my uncle wife and mum having a discussion she told her , if she knew the condition we were living was this bad she wouldn't have come , she said my dad has told them to come because things are fine with us and she was disappointed with what she saw , so my mum asked her so my husband was the one that convinced you to moved in the city she said yes , my mum shook her head she didn't say anything else and I become very angry I confronted my dad asking him why did he do this to my mum when he knows the condition is not good, why did he tells his brother to come not just him alone but with his family, he started shouting at me I am not a wife material if I bring this my character of not liking my inlaw to my husband house he will send me packing and he will not allow me back to his house , I have told him he is very wicked he want mum to die so he can bring him another woman , he stood out he went inside the house he started shouting at my mum how dare she ask me to confront him and what's wrong with him bringing his brother to his house, my mum did not send me she is a quiet type and I am not i co fronted him by my own will , he said my mum is wicked woman he was shouting in the presence of my uncle and my uncle has started insulted me too , telling me the house belong to his brother if I am not happy seeing them in the house I should go and rent my own house because he is not leaving anytime soon , if I had somewhere else to go I would have left the same day but I had nowhere to go, I went inside my room crying and later on my aunty was telling me to not mind my uncle , she don't blame me for standing up for my mum because as a woman she is she will not tolerate it she told me she don't know if my dad and her brother are curse they are just lazy and they have left all the responsibility to the wives , she said she can't tell me everything she is also passing through the same thing with my mum , I thanked her for her understanding and for not supporting her husband and my dad. It is been few days now I don't greet nor talk to my dad and uncle , I go to work as usual and when I come home I sleep in the parlour with the boys me on the sofa them on the floor , I am not happy with my dad and I don't think I will ever be happy with him again , did I overreacted for confronting or I did the right thing I am just asking for your advise so i will know the right thing to do after please do not insult me I am wearing the shoe I know where it pinch