Chinelo154:


She has high BP already but she will not move she rather stay and suffer

Beg your mum to move out.
Ask someone she respects to talk sense to her.
Report her to her family members
I'm sure she is not even buying her BP medications.
High BP is one of the major killers.
She can just have a stroke and pass.
God forbid
Where do you want to get money to look after a stroke patient even if she survives one?
What will happen to your younger ones?
Please take this seriously o.

Your uncle's wife said it all, both your father and uncle are bunch of lazy fools (sorry for the insult). How can a man who is supposed to be the breadwinner of the family and also the provider of the home vacate his responsibility as a man lumping it on the woman that is supposed to be the helper of the husband? You didn't do anything wrong confronting the coward of a man who knew how his household is and how he isn't contributing even a penny towards the wellbeing off the family, then went ahead to bring another bofoon of a man not just alone oh but with his entire household. I can bet anything that it is how their parents (your paternal grand parents) trained them, or that it is how their father did to their mother and maybe is still doing the same. You need to take good care if your mum because she is really hanging by a tiny thread, if possible she should go for periodic blood pressure check so that she will not collapse one day in the name of passing through a lot and God forbid dieing. You have to encourage her to do her very best within her capabilities and not doing more than she can. I would have advised you save up money and look for an apartment of your own but doing that might cost your mum's sanity and health.

Chinelo154:
Good afternoon to everyone my mum is really suffering in her marriage and I really need your advice , I am the first child in a family of 5 children I was born in 1998, my mum is a midwife in a local hospital and my dad is not working for like 10 years. My mum is the breadwinner of the house with her little salary , and I am also working my salary is 12k , out of my younger ones only one is in school the last born 14 years the burden is too much on my mum she cannot afford to train all of us to the university , we thank God we are ssce holders one of my brother is a bricklayer we are stuggling to survive sometime i cried alot when i see my mum stressing herself to put the house in order but my dad doesn't appreciate all her effort . The issue of ground is last wk Friday i returned from work only to find my uncle , his wife and their 5 children in the house , they came from the village i was shocked because we were not aware of their coming , I greeted them and went straight to my mum room, she was in a very bad mood , I asked her if she was fine she didn't say any single words to me, she was badly affected with the coming of my uncle and his family, I felt her pain because she is struggling to keep the family up and in the order side my dad is bending it how asked myself how are we going to survive in a 2 bedroom house with 14 0f us plus feeding and everythng will be in my mum head , my dad has instructed me and my 2 sisters to leave our room for my uncle and his 2 daughters , while we moved to their bedroom and my 2 brothers and my uncle 3 children will sleep in the parlour. How can a big woman like me to be sleeping in my parents room, I did not complain we went to the room we packed our belonging and moved it to my parents room. That night I didn't catch sleep seeing my mum loosing sleep she didn't say anything but she was awake all night , she was trouble a lot was going through her mind , in the morning I heard my uncle wife and mum having a discussion she told her , if she knew the condition we were living was this bad she wouldn't have come , she said my dad has told them to come because things are fine with us and she was disappointed with what she saw , so my mum asked her so my husband was the one that convinced you to moved in the city she said yes , my mum shook her head she didn't say anything else and I become very angry I confronted my dad asking him why did he do this to my mum when he knows the condition is not good, why did he tells his brother to come not just him alone but with his family, he started shouting at me I am not a wife material if I bring this my character of not liking my inlaw to my husband house he will send me packing and he will not allow me back to his house , I have told him he is very wicked he want mum to die so he can bring him another woman , he stood out he went inside the house he started shouting at my mum how dare she ask me to confront him and what's wrong with him bringing his brother to his house, my mum did not send me she is a quiet type and I am not i co fronted him by my own will , he said my mum is wicked woman he was shouting in the presence of my uncle and my uncle has started insulted me too , telling me the house belong to his brother if I am not happy seeing them in the house I should go and rent my own house because he is not leaving anytime soon , if I had somewhere else to go I would have left the same day but I had nowhere to go, I went inside my room crying and later on my aunty was telling me to not mind my uncle , she don't blame me for standing up for my mum because as a woman she is she will not tolerate it she told me she don't know if my dad and her brother are curse they are just lazy and they have left all the responsibility to the wives , she said she can't tell me everything she is also passing through the same thing with my mum , I thanked her for her understanding and for not supporting her husband and my dad. It is been few days now I don't greet nor talk to my dad and uncle , I go to work as usual and when I come home I sleep in the parlour with the boys me on the sofa them on the floor , I am not happy with my dad and I don't think I will ever be happy with him again , did I overreacted for confronting or I did the right thing I am just asking for your advise so i will know the right thing to do after please do not insult me I am wearing the shoe I know where it pinch

If you what wrote here is the truth, you didn't overreact. Your dad is something close to a deadbeat... But your mum is too docile and weak, the very reason your uncle and his family decided to invade your home.

Chinelo154:
Good afternoon to everyone my mum is really suffering in her marriage and I really need your advice , I am the first child in a family of 5 children I was born in 1998, my mum is a midwife in a local hospital and my dad is not working for like 10 years. My mum is the breadwinner of the house with her little salary , and I am also working my salary is 12k , out of my younger ones only one is in school the last born 14 years the burden is too much on my mum she cannot afford to train all of us to the university , we thank God we are ssce holders one of my brother is a bricklayer we are stuggling to survive sometime i cried alot when i see my mum stressing herself to put the house in order but my dad doesn't appreciate all her effort . The issue of ground is last wk Friday i returned from work only to find my uncle , his wife and their 5 children in the house , they came from the village i was shocked because we were not aware of their coming , I greeted them and went straight to my mum room, she was in a very bad mood , I asked her if she was fine she didn't say any single words to me, she was badly affected with the coming of my uncle and his family, I felt her pain because she is struggling to keep the family up and in the order side my dad is bending it how asked myself how are we going to survive in a 2 bedroom house with 14 0f us plus feeding and everythng will be in my mum head , my dad has instructed me and my 2 sisters to leave our room for my uncle and his 2 daughters , while we moved to their bedroom and my 2 brothers and my uncle 3 children will sleep in the parlour. How can a big woman like me to be sleeping in my parents room, I did not complain we went to the room we packed our belonging and moved it to my parents room. That night I didn't catch sleep seeing my mum loosing sleep she didn't say anything but she was awake all night , she was trouble a lot was going through her mind , in the morning I heard my uncle wife and mum having a discussion she told her , if she knew the condition we were living was this bad she wouldn't have come , she said my dad has told them to come because things are fine with us and she was disappointed with what she saw , so my mum asked her so my husband was the one that convinced you to moved in the city she said yes , my mum shook her head she didn't say anything else and I become very angry I confronted my dad asking him why did he do this to my mum when he knows the condition is not good, why did he tells his brother to come not just him alone but with his family, he started shouting at me I am not a wife material if I bring this my character of not liking my inlaw to my husband house he will send me packing and he will not allow me back to his house , I have told him he is very wicked he want mum to die so he can bring him another woman , he stood out he went inside the house he started shouting at my mum how dare she ask me to confront him and what's wrong with him bringing his brother to his house, my mum did not send me she is a quiet type and I am not i co fronted him by my own will , he said my mum is wicked woman he was shouting in the presence of my uncle and my uncle has started insulted me too , telling me the house belong to his brother if I am not happy seeing them in the house I should go and rent my own house because he is not leaving anytime soon , if I had somewhere else to go I would have left the same day but I had nowhere to go, I went inside my room crying and later on my aunty was telling me to not mind my uncle , she don't blame me for standing up for my mum because as a woman she is she will not tolerate it she told me she don't know if my dad and her brother are curse they are just lazy and they have left all the responsibility to the wives , she said she can't tell me everything she is also passing through the same thing with my mum , I thanked her for her understanding and for not supporting her husband and my dad. It is been few days now I don't greet nor talk to my dad and uncle , I go to work as usual and when I come home I sleep in the parlour with the boys me on the sofa them on the floor , I am not happy with my dad and I don't think I will ever be happy with him again , did I overreacted for confronting or I did the right thing I am just asking for your advise so i will know the right thing to do after please do not insult me I am wearing the shoe I know where it pinch

You are not over reacting my dear. Just tell your mom to stop using her salary for feeding. Make sure you eat at work before coming home. Your mom can give your younger ones Little change for breakfast whenever they go out. When your dad and his brother faces reality, no one will tell them before they bundle themselves back to the village.

Chinelo154:



True can you just imagine i got home from work, my mum is already asleep and my sister took me outside the house , she was telling me that my dad had insulted her for feeding them indomie 3 days in a row ,and he was shouting at her if tommorow is indomie again she will not like the outcome , he doesn't even care for the fact that she is trying her best to feed 13 mouths where does he expect her to get the money to feed 13 mouths in this economy , me i ate at my workplace. i am angry with him i wish i could talk sense to him, but i had to keep quiet for my mum sake. I swear if anything happens to her, I will never forgive him, he will suffer for the rest of his life

Don't wait for something to happen to your mother before you take action. By then all her suffering would have been invain. And history has a way of repeating itself.

It is better she's separated and alive than the late Mrs okoroigwe lazimarrism

Lady....I am just proud of you...you have done something very Worth of emulation just keep pushing especially for your lovely mother...don't relent......don't ever regret.... Posterity Will reward you for speaking out when it matters

Chinelo154:
Good afternoon to everyone my mum is really suffering in her marriage and I really need your advice , I am the first child in a family of 5 children I was born in 1998, my mum is a midwife in a local hospital and my dad is not working for like 10 years. My mum is the breadwinner of the house with her little salary , and I am also working my salary is 12k , out of my younger ones only one is in school the last born 14 years the burden is too much on my mum she cannot afford to train all of us to the university , we thank God we are ssce holders one of my brother is a bricklayer we are stuggling to survive sometime i cried alot when i see my mum stressing herself to put the house in order but my dad doesn't appreciate all her effort . The issue of ground is last wk Friday i returned from work only to find my uncle , his wife and their 5 children in the house , they came from the village i was shocked because we were not aware of their coming , I greeted them and went straight to my mum room, she was in a very bad mood , I asked her if she was fine she didn't say any single words to me, she was badly affected with the coming of my uncle and his family, I felt her pain because she is struggling to keep the family up and in the order side my dad is bending it how asked myself how are we going to survive in a 2 bedroom house with 14 0f us plus feeding and everythng will be in my mum head , my dad has instructed me and my 2 sisters to leave our room for my uncle and his 2 daughters , while we moved to their bedroom and my 2 brothers and my uncle 3 children will sleep in the parlour. How can a big woman like me to be sleeping in my parents room, I did not complain we went to the room we packed our belonging and moved it to my parents room. That night I didn't catch sleep seeing my mum loosing sleep she didn't say anything but she was awake all night , she was trouble a lot was going through her mind , in the morning I heard my uncle wife and mum having a discussion she told her , if she knew the condition we were living was this bad she wouldn't have come , she said my dad has told them to come because things are fine with us and she was disappointed with what she saw , so my mum asked her so my husband was the one that convinced you to moved in the city she said yes , my mum shook her head she didn't say anything else and I become very angry I confronted my dad asking him why did he do this to my mum when he knows the condition is not good, why did he tells his brother to come not just him alone but with his family, he started shouting at me I am not a wife material if I bring this my character of not liking my inlaw to my husband house he will send me packing and he will not allow me back to his house , I have told him he is very wicked he want mum to die so he can bring him another woman , he stood out he went inside the house he started shouting at my mum how dare she ask me to confront him and what's wrong with him bringing his brother to his house, my mum did not send me she is a quiet type and I am not i co fronted him by my own will , he said my mum is wicked woman he was shouting in the presence of my uncle and my uncle has started insulted me too , telling me the house belong to his brother if I am not happy seeing them in the house I should go and rent my own house because he is not leaving anytime soon , if I had somewhere else to go I would have left the same day but I had nowhere to go, I went inside my room crying and later on my aunty was telling me to not mind my uncle , she don't blame me for standing up for my mum because as a woman she is she will not tolerate it she told me she don't know if my dad and her brother are curse they are just lazy and they have left all the responsibility to the wives , she said she can't tell me everything she is also passing through the same thing with my mum , I thanked her for her understanding and for not supporting her husband and my dad. It is been few days now I don't greet nor talk to my dad and uncle , I go to work as usual and when I come home I sleep in the parlour with the boys me on the sofa them on the floor , I am not happy with my dad and I don't think I will ever be happy with him again , did I overreacted for confronting or I did the right thing I am just asking for your advise so i will know the right thing to do after please do not insult me I am wearing the shoe I know where it pinch

I have zero blame for you.


Let me give you some ideas:

1. Put your younger kids in a public school near you.

2. You are 24 now, a young lady, go and open an account for yourself, only bring small change home because your money will soon become family money.

3. Don't say anything from now on, not to your Dad or Uncle (don't let me call them useless)

4. Tell your Mom to stay more at work, and avoid the house as much as possible, everyone will meet at night.

5. Don't cook unless the men drop money.

Ahh, your mum is strong oh. Feeding 13 mouths in this economy is not easy at all. If there's any way you can convince your mum to leave the house temporarily for her sanity, pls do. The environment is too toxic for considering the fact that she has HBP

But your mum enabled him all this while, did I read that he's been jobless for 10 years? He even had the effrontery to threaten her on the indomie she provided from her sweat instead if been appreciative. Your mum is too soft and he is capitalizing on that to frustrate her. You should continue to stand up for her, be her VOICE

Mumben:
Ahh, your mum is strong oh. Feeding 13 mouths in this economy is not easy at all. If there's any way you can convince your mum to leave the house temporarily for her sanity, pls do. The environment is too toxic for considering the fact that she has HBP

But your mum enabled him all this while, did I read that he's been jobless for 10 years? He even had the effrontery to threaten her on the indomie she provided from her sweat instead if been appreciative. Your mum is too soft and he is capitalizing on that to frustrate her. You should continue to stand up for her, be her VOICE

True she is too soft she like keeping things in her heart instead of speaking up sometime I wish I could swap places with her, so I can talk sense to my dad. If I was my mum he wouldn't try that shit with me he is treating her like that because he knows she is quiet and she takes whatever shit he gives to her , he cannot try that with me

capnies:


Don't wait for something to happen to your mother before you take action. By then all her suffering would have been invain. And history has a way of repeating itself.

It is better she's separated and alive than the late Mrs okoroigwe lazimarrism

There is nothing I can do for her because she is not ready to leave the house like I have suggested to her , I spoke to her friend I went to her shop to tell her about everything is going on in the house, she did talked to my mum and she was shouting at me for telling her friend our family business . She rather suffer to stay mrs because it is more important than her health

Please where do you live?
If you're close to Abuja
I believe I know someone that can help you and your situation with your Dad

Ineedhustle247:
Please where do you live?
If you're close to Abuja
I believe I know someone that can help you and your situation with your Dad

I live in Lagos

Chinelo154:


I live in Lagos

Okay
Let me PM you

Ineedhustle247:
Please where do you live?
If you're close to Abuja
I believe I know someone that can help you and your situation with your Dad

what help do you hope to profer cause am really pissed with situations like this..God punish poverty..

Sad, some women have made up their mind to die before their time. Our organs are Fragile and too much thinking on useless things you having no power to change Weakens them . Your mom is on her Journey to Sudden Death ,if the needful isn't done. And guess what all 4 children will be looking up to you to provide ; guess what , You will automatically drive your suitors at a young age ,because no young man will want to carry the responsibility of 4 siblings , considering what your father is.
Violence is the only way out, Like Me once I usually forecast the future and once i see ur actions will definitely be my responsibility if things goes wrong , I raise alarm and can go to any length to stop that action.
Getting to understand the second paragraph, I advise you give them Vawulence and neck pressing. Peace isn't allowed in this equation until they pack out or your mother is ready to pack out. Don't be scared of their useless curse or insults. Every single day give them Vawulence.
Involve as many as possible elderly people into this case , expose and shame his fraud .It won't be easy dear, but this Is war and their isn't a Rule.

capetownboyz:
what help do you hope to profer cause am really pissed with situations like this..God punish poverty..

Sadly, such situations are very common in many Nigerian homes but few are speaking out.

Chinelo154:


There is nothing I can do for her because she is not ready to leave the house like I have suggested to her , I spoke to her friend I went to her shop to tell her about everything is going on in the house, she did talked to my mum and she was shouting at me for telling her friend our family business . She rather suffer to stay mrs because it is more important than her health

Maybe you should go to her office and tell her boss what's going on in the house?
Let her boss also know she has health issues, and is not looking after herself.
At least, maybe she will listen to her boss
Is she even buying and using her BP medications regularly?
I'm laying emphasis on her health issues because we all know if you fall seriously ill in Nigeria, you're on your own. So just try your best never to fall ill.
Having a stroke in Nigeria is almost guaranteed permanent disability or death for almost everyone especially the poor.

eyinjuege:


Maybe you should go to her office and tell her boss what's going on in the house?
Let her boss also know she has health issues, and is not looking after herself.
At least, maybe she will listen to her boss
Is she even buying and using her BP medications regularly?
I'm laying emphasis on her health issues because we all know if you fall seriously ill in Nigeria, you're on your own. So just try your best never to fall ill.
Having a stroke in Nigeria is almost guaranteed permanent disability or death for almost everyone especially the poor.

Thank you for the suggestion , I will go there on Monday even tho my mum will scold me but i have to do it for her own interest, hopefully something good will come out of it. Yes she's taking her BP medications everyday luckily for her she has a friend who run a pharmacy when she doesn't have the money she gives her on credit and she pays her later, i am even worrying about her having a stroke or dying because I am too young to carry her responsibility she should leave the house to stay alive for my younger ones , she cannot die leaving her responsibility for me. If she leaves me and my brother will be eating outside , no food for my dad and his brother by the time hunger catches them my uncle and family will have no other option but to leave , i wish she could understand the more she is entertaining them with foods the more they will stay and her health is ay stake. If she leaves the house her health will go back to normal

try and inform your mum family that she respected nd takes their words.Let them tell her the truth.and that truth is ,to leave that house and move very far.if possible,she should go for divorce.many mothers are gone today due to high bp, go to general hospitals, women takes about 80% of patient having strokes. Let me tell u, I pray it will not be your dad alone that will eat the fruit of children alone.

Just face your life, some women are destined to die as GALLANT soldiers in marriage. You can't save her but you can save yourself

You can't help her if she doesn't feel she needs help. Your mum needs to realize she needs help. She needs to make peace with herself and tell herself that she has endured enough, and she needs to be alive firstly for herself and also for her kids. Our mothers hide under the umbrella of "I am staying because of the kids" but they fail to realize that even the kids wants them out of the sufferings they are passing through. Op that's life for you and I am sure you have learnt a lesson from your parents case, so please don't ever let your future husband make you feel less of a human being.

Chinelo154:
Good afternoon to everyone my mum is really suffering in her marriage and I really need your advice , I am the first child in a family of 5 children I was born in 1998, my mum is a midwife in a local hospital and my dad is not working for like 10 years. My mum is the breadwinner of the house with her little salary , and I am also working my salary is 12k , out of my younger ones only one is in school the last born 14 years the burden is too much on my mum she cannot afford to train all of us to the university , we thank God we are ssce holders one of my brother is a bricklayer we are stuggling to survive sometime i cried alot when i see my mum stressing herself to put the house in order but my dad doesn't appreciate all her effort . The issue of ground is last wk Friday i returned from work only to find my uncle , his wife and their 5 children in the house , they came from the village i was shocked because we were not aware of their coming , I greeted them and went straight to my mum room, she was in a very bad mood , I asked her if she was fine she didn't say any single words to me, she was badly affected with the coming of my uncle and his family, I felt her pain because she is struggling to keep the family up and in the order side my dad is bending it how asked myself how are we going to survive in a 2 bedroom house with 14 0f us plus feeding and everythng will be in my mum head , my dad has instructed me and my 2 sisters to leave our room for my uncle and his 2 daughters , while we moved to their bedroom and my 2 brothers and my uncle 3 children will sleep in the parlour. How can a big woman like me to be sleeping in my parents room, I did not complain we went to the room we packed our belonging and moved it to my parents room. That night I didn't catch sleep seeing my mum loosing sleep she didn't say anything but she was awake all night , she was trouble a lot was going through her mind , in the morning I heard my uncle wife and mum having a discussion she told her , if she knew the condition we were living was this bad she wouldn't have come , she said my dad has told them to come because things are fine with us and she was disappointed with what she saw , so my mum asked her so my husband was the one that convinced you to moved in the city she said yes , my mum shook her head she didn't say anything else and I become very angry I confronted my dad asking him why did he do this to my mum when he knows the condition is not good, why did he tells his brother to come not just him alone but with his family, he started shouting at me I am not a wife material if I bring this my character of not liking my inlaw to my husband house he will send me packing and he will not allow me back to his house , I have told him he is very wicked he want mum to die so he can bring him another woman , he stood out he went inside the house he started shouting at my mum how dare she ask me to confront him and what's wrong with him bringing his brother to his house, my mum did not send me she is a quiet type and I am not i co fronted him by my own will , he said my mum is wicked woman he was shouting in the presence of my uncle and my uncle has started insulted me too , telling me the house belong to his brother if I am not happy seeing them in the house I should go and rent my own house because he is not leaving anytime soon , if I had somewhere else to go I would have left the same day but I had nowhere to go, I went inside my room crying and later on my aunty was telling me to not mind my uncle , she don't blame me for standing up for my mum because as a woman she is she will not tolerate it she told me she don't know if my dad and her brother are curse they are just lazy and they have left all the responsibility to the wives , she said she can't tell me everything she is also passing through the same thing with my mum , I thanked her for her understanding and for not supporting her husband and my dad. It is been few days now I don't greet nor talk to my dad and uncle , I go to work as usual and when I come home I sleep in the parlour with the boys me on the sofa them on the floor , I am not happy with my dad and I don't think I will ever be happy with him again , did I overreacted for confronting or I did the right thing I am just asking for your advise so i will know the right thing to do after please do not insult me I am wearing the shoe I know where it pinch

Your dad & uncle are as crazy as they come. Two couch potatoes who will not work but just be leeching off women. Your dad has nerve. How dare he? Your mom’s health is bad & she continues to burst her back for grown men who don’t want to raise a finger to work, she’ll die and live her children suffering while her lazy husband will marry another woman. My advise to you is to have your mom pick up an emergency leave at work. Help pack her clothes so that it won’t appear suspicious. She should leave as if she’s going to work and you can meet up with her to give her the clothes. She should then take a vehicle to a different location, probably to her parents home. Let your mom know to put herself first because even if she dies today, you kids together with your father will continue to live & somehow you’ll survive. It’s outright comical how’s he’s giving orders of what should not be cooked and yet doesn’t want to work except sit & be fed by a woman when he has no disability.Enough of this nonsense! I know a lady whose husband brought his sister home. Their 4 kids were still young then though all grown now. He & his sister would sit home watching TV claiming they are on holiday. One day she gave them black tea with no sugar for breakfast. During lunch, she said there’s no food to cook since the two adults have decided to go on holiday & she can’t kill herself. That’s how reality kicked in and they went back to work because she refused to feed them.

I blame your mom for not standing for herself and it really hurts.. I guess she's still with your dad because of her children forgetting that if something happens to her today she won't know where these children are.
You are strong indeed I will do same thing because it's clear your dad and uncle are very wicked. Let your mom brace up and not bring money for food for one week nobody go tell your uncle to japa I swear such a wicked duo. Haaaaaaaa am so pained, well just tell your mom to gather mind now or never.

Beey:
Your dad & uncle are as crazy as they come. Two couch potatoes who will not work but just be leeching off women. Your dad has nerve. How dare he? Your mom’s health is bad & she continues to burst her back for grown men who don’t want to raise a finger to work, she’ll die and leave her children suffering while her lazy husband will marry another woman. My advise to you is to have your mom pick up an emergency leave at work. Help pack her clothes so that it won’t appear suspicious. She should leave as if she’s going to work and you can meet up with her to give her the clothes. She should then take a vehicle to a different location, probably to her parents home. Let your mom know to put herself first because even if she dies today, you kids together with your father will continue to leave & somehow you’ll survive. It’s outright comical how’s he’s giving orders of what should not be cooked and yet doesn’t want to work except sit & be fed by a woman when he has no disability.Enough of this nonsense! I know a lady whose husband brought his sister home. Their 4 kids were still young then though all grown now. He & his sister would sit home watching TV claiming they are on holiday. One day she gave them black tea with no sugar for breakfast. During lunch, she said there’s no food to cook since the two adults have decided to go on holiday & she can’t kill herself. That’s how reality kicked in and they went back to work because she refused to feed them.

Unfortunately my mum will not do it she will rather die with the burden of feeding them than starving them. I have washed my hands I will not say anything to her again because fighting for her will not bring anything good because she is not ready to put herself first and leave the house , if I continue fighting for her it will lead me to the streets. I don't want to go and live with a man who hasn't paid my brideprice yet I have decided to mind my business until I will be able to leave the house to my own house.

Chinelo154:
Good afternoon to everyone my mum is really suffering in her marriage and I really need your advice , I am the first child in a family of 5 children I was born in 1998, my mum is a midwife in a local hospital and my dad is not working for like 10 years. My mum is the breadwinner of the house with her little salary , and I am also working my salary is 12k , out of my younger ones only one is in school the last born 14 years the burden is too much on my mum she cannot afford to train all of us to the university , we thank God we are ssce holders one of my brother is a bricklayer we are stuggling to survive sometime i cried alot when i see my mum stressing herself to put the house in order but my dad doesn't appreciate all her effort . The issue of ground is last wk Friday i returned from work only to find my uncle , his wife and their 5 children in the house , they came from the village i was shocked because we were not aware of their coming , I greeted them and went straight to my mum room, she was in a very bad mood , I asked her if she was fine she didn't say any single words to me, she was badly affected with the coming of my uncle and his family, I felt her pain because she is struggling to keep the family up and in the order side my dad is bending it how asked myself how are we going to survive in a 2 bedroom house with 14 0f us plus feeding and everythng will be in my mum head , my dad has instructed me and my 2 sisters to leave our room for my uncle and his 2 daughters , while we moved to their bedroom and my 2 brothers and my uncle 3 children will sleep in the parlour. How can a big woman like me to be sleeping in my parents room, I did not complain we went to the room we packed our belonging and moved it to my parents room. That night I didn't catch sleep seeing my mum loosing sleep she didn't say anything but she was awake all night , she was trouble a lot was going through her mind , in the morning I heard my uncle wife and mum having a discussion she told her , if she knew the condition we were living was this bad she wouldn't have come , she said my dad has told them to come because things are fine with us and she was disappointed with what she saw , so my mum asked her so my husband was the one that convinced you to moved in the city she said yes , my mum shook her head she didn't say anything else and I become very angry I confronted my dad asking him why did he do this to my mum when he knows the condition is not good, why did he tells his brother to come not just him alone but with his family, he started shouting at me I am not a wife material if I bring this my character of not liking my inlaw to my husband house he will send me packing and he will not allow me back to his house , I have told him he is very wicked he want mum to die so he can bring him another woman , he stood out he went inside the house he started shouting at my mum how dare she ask me to confront him and what's wrong with him bringing his brother to his house, my mum did not send me she is a quiet type and I am not i co fronted him by my own will , he said my mum is wicked woman he was shouting in the presence of my uncle and my uncle has started insulted me too , telling me the house belong to his brother if I am not happy seeing them in the house I should go and rent my own house because he is not leaving anytime soon , if I had somewhere else to go I would have left the same day but I had nowhere to go, I went inside my room crying and later on my aunty was telling me to not mind my uncle , she don't blame me for standing up for my mum because as a woman she is she will not tolerate it she told me she don't know if my dad and her brother are curse they are just lazy and they have left all the responsibility to the wives , she said she can't tell me everything she is also passing through the same thing with my mum , I thanked her for her understanding and for not supporting her husband and my dad. It is been few days now I don't greet nor talk to my dad and uncle , I go to work as usual and when I come home I sleep in the parlour with the boys me on the sofa them on the floor , I am not happy with my dad and I don't think I will ever be happy with him again , did I overreacted for confronting or I did the right thing I am just asking for your advise so i will know the right thing to do after please do not insult me I am wearing the shoe I know where it pinch

Hmmm.........

Chinelo154:


Moving back to the village is not possible , I wish she could leave with my 3 younger ones to rent herself a room in a face me I slap you house so she can have peace of mind, me and my brother will survive fine with my salary but if I suggest that she will not listen to me she will rather stay and suffer

Let her stay and suffer.

Chinelo154:


Unfortunately my mum will not do it she will rather die with the burden of feeding them than starving them. I have washed my hands I will not say anything to her again because fighting for her will not bring anything good because she is not ready to put herself first and leave the house , if I continue fighting for her it will lead me to the streets. I don't want to go and live with a man who hasn't paid my brideprice yet I have decided to mind my business until I will be able to leave the house to my own house.

Chinelo, let your mom fight her own battle. She made her choice and a willing party to the abuse. Do not fight for her. Think about survival for yourself only.

Chinelo154:


He said he will not leave anytime soon ooo, he came to lagos to make cash

Its your dad's fault. My brother cannot try that shit in my house with my wife and children. I have a rigid boundaries set in my family. My family is defined as me, wife and kids, rest are extended family.

Chinelo154:
Good afternoon to everyone my mum is really suffering in her marriage and I really need your advice , I am the first child in a family of 5 children I was born in 1998, my mum is a midwife in a local hospital and my dad is not working for like 10 years. My mum is the breadwinner of the house with her little salary , and I am also working my salary is 12k , out of my younger ones only one is in school the last born 14 years the burden is too much on my mum she cannot afford to train all of us to the university , we thank God we are ssce holders one of my brother is a bricklayer we are stuggling to survive sometime i cried alot when i see my mum stressing herself to put the house in order but my dad doesn't appreciate all her effort . The issue of ground is last wk Friday i returned from work only to find my uncle , his wife and their 5 children in the house , they came from the village i was shocked because we were not aware of their coming , I greeted them and went straight to my mum room, she was in a very bad mood , I asked her if she was fine she didn't say any single words to me, she was badly affected with the coming of my uncle and his family, I felt her pain because she is struggling to keep the family up and in the order side my dad is bending it how asked myself how are we going to survive in a 2 bedroom house with 14 0f us plus feeding and everythng will be in my mum head , my dad has instructed me and my 2 sisters to leave our room for my uncle and his 2 daughters , while we moved to their bedroom and my 2 brothers and my uncle 3 children will sleep in the parlour. How can a big woman like me to be sleeping in my parents room, I did not complain we went to the room we packed our belonging and moved it to my parents room. That night I didn't catch sleep seeing my mum loosing sleep she didn't say anything but she was awake all night , she was trouble a lot was going through her mind , in the morning I heard my uncle wife and mum having a discussion she told her , if she knew the condition we were living was this bad she wouldn't have come , she said my dad has told them to come because things are fine with us and she was disappointed with what she saw , so my mum asked her so my husband was the one that convinced you to moved in the city she said yes , my mum shook her head she didn't say anything else and I become very angry I confronted my dad asking him why did he do this to my mum when he knows the condition is not good, why did he tells his brother to come not just him alone but with his family, he started shouting at me I am not a wife material if I bring this my character of not liking my inlaw to my husband house he will send me packing and he will not allow me back to his house , I have told him he is very wicked he want mum to die so he can bring him another woman , he stood out he went inside the house he started shouting at my mum how dare she ask me to confront him and what's wrong with him bringing his brother to his house, my mum did not send me she is a quiet type and I am not i co fronted him by my own will , he said my mum is wicked woman he was shouting in the presence of my uncle and my uncle has started insulted me too , telling me the house belong to his brother if I am not happy seeing them in the house I should go and rent my own house because he is not leaving anytime soon , if I had somewhere else to go I would have left the same day but I had nowhere to go, I went inside my room crying and later on my aunty was telling me to not mind my uncle , she don't blame me for standing up for my mum because as a woman she is she will not tolerate it she told me she don't know if my dad and her brother are curse they are just lazy and they have left all the responsibility to the wives , she said she can't tell me everything she is also passing through the same thing with my mum , I thanked her for her understanding and for not supporting her husband and my dad. It is been few days now I don't greet nor talk to my dad and uncle , I go to work as usual and when I come home I sleep in the parlour with the boys me on the sofa them on the floor , I[quote author=Skyview01 post=121563974]

Its your dad's fault. My brother cannot try that shit in my house with my wife and children. I have a rigid boundaries set in my family. My family is defined as me, wife and kids, rest are extended family.

Hi chinelo,I am just seeing this now and I am so devastated,is this still carrying on??are your uncle and cousins still in your house and is your mom still feeding them What is currently the state of things?? kindly reply when you see this

Chinelo154:



True can you just imagine i got home from work, my mum is already asleep and my sister took me outside the house , she was telling me that my dad had insulted her for feeding them indomie 3 days in a row ,and he was shouting at her if tommorow is indomie again she will not like the outcome , he doesn't even care for the fact that she is trying her best to feed 13 mouths where does he expect her to get the money to feed 13 mouths in this economy , me i ate at my workplace. i am angry with him i wish i could talk sense to him, but i had to keep quiet for my mum sake. I swear if anything happens to her, I will never forgive him, he will suffer for the rest of his life

Please tell your mum to stop feeding other people except herself and her children.
She should not pay for any bills in the house, if NEPA cut light so be it.
Time will solve the problem.

Chinelo154:



True can you just imagine i got home from work, my mum is already asleep and my sister took me outside the house , she was telling me that my dad had insulted her for feeding them indomie 3 days in a row ,and he was shouting at her if tommorow is indomie again she will not like the outcome , he doesn't even care for the fact that she is trying her best to feed 13 mouths where does he expect her to get the money to feed 13 mouths in this economy , me i ate at my workplace. i am angry with him i wish i could talk sense to him, but i had to keep quiet for my mum sake. I swear if anything happens to her, I will never forgive him, he will suffer for the rest of his life

Behavior mature and save your mother, she is looking up to you for help and you are not helping matter at all, do all your best and rent one room far from your father and let your mom stay then see if your your father will not find work or drive away his visitors, if your mom refuse to adhere to your advice then let her be and suffer, your father have no faults there, is your mom who choose to suffer

Chinelo154:
Good afternoon to everyone my mum is really suffering in her marriage and I really need your advice , I am the first child in a family of 5 children I was born in 1998, my mum is a midwife in a local hospital and my dad is not working for like 10 years. My mum is the breadwinner of the house with her little salary , and I am also working my salary is 12k , out of my younger ones only one is in school the last born 14 years the burden is too much on my mum she cannot afford to train all of us to the university , we thank God we are ssce holders one of my brother is a bricklayer we are stuggling to survive sometime i cried alot when i see my mum stressing herself to put the house in order but my dad doesn't appreciate all her effort . The issue of ground is last wk Friday i returned from work only to find my uncle , his wife and their 5 children in the house , they came from the village i was shocked because we were not aware of their coming , I greeted them and went straight to my mum room, she was in a very bad mood , I asked her if she was fine she didn't say any single words to me, she was badly affected with the coming of my uncle and his family, I felt her pain because she is struggling to keep the family up and in the order side my dad is bending it how asked myself how are we going to survive in a 2 bedroom house with 14 0f us plus feeding and everythng will be in my mum head , my dad has instructed me and my 2 sisters to leave our room for my uncle and his 2 daughters , while we moved to their bedroom and my 2 brothers and my uncle 3 children will sleep in the parlour. How can a big woman like me to be sleeping in my parents room, I did not complain we went to the room we packed our belonging and moved it to my parents room. That night I didn't catch sleep seeing my mum loosing sleep she didn't say anything but she was awake all night , she was trouble a lot was going through her mind , in the morning I heard my uncle wife and mum having a discussion she told her , if she knew the condition we were living was this bad she wouldn't have come , she said my dad has told them to come because things are fine with us and she was disappointed with what she saw , so my mum asked her so my husband was the one that convinced you to moved in the city she said yes , my mum shook her head she didn't say anything else and I become very angry I confronted my dad asking him why did he do this to my mum when he knows the condition is not good, why did he tells his brother to come not just him alone but with his family, he started shouting at me I am not a wife material if I bring this my character of not liking my inlaw to my husband house he will send me packing and he will not allow me back to his house , I have told him he is very wicked he want mum to die so he can bring him another woman , he stood out he went inside the house he started shouting at my mum how dare she ask me to confront him and what's wrong with him bringing his brother to his house, my mum did not send me she is a quiet type and I am not i co fronted him by my own will , he said my mum is wicked woman he was shouting in the presence of my uncle and my uncle has started insulted me too , telling me the house belong to his brother if I am not happy seeing them in the house I should go and rent my own house because he is not leaving anytime soon , if I had somewhere else to go I would have left the same day but I had nowhere to go, I went inside my room crying and later on my aunty was telling me to not mind my uncle , she don't blame me for standing up for my mum because as a woman she is she will not tolerate it she told me she don't know if my dad and her brother are curse they are just lazy and they have left all the responsibility to the wives , she said she can't tell me everything she is also passing through the same thing with my mum , I thanked her for her understanding and for not supporting her husband and my dad. It is been few days now I don't greet nor talk to my dad and uncle , I go to work as usual and when I come home I sleep in the parlour with the boys me on the sofa them on the floor , I am not happy with my dad and I don't think I will ever be happy with him again , did I overreacted for confronting or I did the right thing I am just asking for your advise so i will know the right thing to do after please do not insult me I am wearing the shoe I know where it pinch

Chinelo154:



True can you just imagine i got home from work, my mum is already asleep and my sister took me outside the house , she was telling me that my dad had insulted her for feeding them indomie 3 days in a row ,and he was shouting at her if tommorow is indomie again she will not like the outcome , he doesn't even care for the fact that she is trying her best to feed 13 mouths where does he expect her to get the money to feed 13 mouths in this economy , me i ate at my workplace. i am angry with him i wish i could talk sense to him, but i had to keep quiet for my mum sake. I swear if anything happens to her, I will never forgive him, he will suffer for the rest of his life

Behavior mature and save your mother, she is looking up to you for help and you are not helping matter at all, do all your best and rent one room far from your father and let your mom stay then see if your your father will not find work or drive away his visitors, if your mom refuse to adhere to your advice then let her be and suffer, your father have no faults there, is your mom who choose to suffer