₦airaland Forum

Why don't you just accept the woman's position. You just read a few paragraphs. And you are already concluding that she needs to return. She was in it for at least 12 years. Do you know better than her? She had to return to her parents', start from the scratch and still hasn't found her feet yet. Despite all these, she said she still prefers being single. I can agree with her sef cos the man has to be really vile to slander and malign her to her own children. Very bad character.

Op. Talk to your children. They are the ones with you. They see you and see how hard you work and fend for them. Tell them not to believe whatever their Dad says and talk to their father to, warning him to desist from his malicious intent. I wish you all the best.

Love800:
Be dead means alot. Might be tired of the family plan, utility bills, children welfare, inlaw dramas, communication issues. It doesn't really mean she will be dead physically. She can tolerate all these. What is marriage without conflicts! You gat to brave-up.
My stand is if the man inflict physical injuries on her body which might cause death, then she can leave.

I have come to understand that most partners leave eachother on flimsy excuses.

This one has been stealing for a long time.

Please and please do not marry that girl. You'll end up leading a sad frustrated life. Take this advise from a married person.

Op. I understand you. But there isn't anything anyone can do for you now. So just let go, please. Let go! Rebuild your life bit by bit, money Wil come, help will come. But just let go first. Don't look anywhere else. Don't blame anyone. Keep working, keep believing. All is well. You'll be fine!

Yea, but where? On the ground, insude a bus, near a gutter? Where? Honestly, your story isn't flowing.

olubunmimary100:
On my way going to church, I was going for evening program

Some drivers can be so reckless! Government should consider mounting speed bumps from Isheri all the way to Igando. May the soul of the poor woman rest in peace.

Well, you have said you are a prophet, with several years of experience. According to you, you have grown in Spirit. So you should know what this dream of yours mean or be able to pray for an interpretation of that dream.

Besides, if you have been walking with God in your secret place, I wonder why you should now require inputs from a mixed multitude of which this forum constitute. Continue your work/walk with God in private, and God will reward you openly.

Don't mind that full! Aren't there chats, phone calls, didn't he read that it was a sting operation. Some people just talk as though they don't have sisters, nieces, female cousins, and won't have daughters in the future. What a shame!

Mindlog:
Go to the police station where he is being held and attentively listen to his own side of the story.

Revived, stood, went home and later died? How sad.

We no dey put mouth for husband and wife matter.

So sorry to hear this. May the Lord intervene miraculously.

cooly419:
Our last born is still missing till today with no trace or information

Good for them! Family pics looks like one taken in the 90s though.

We have heard you but Keep off the camera for a while please. Lead your Holy life in private and it is others who will testify on your behalf. Not you keep telling us about your "transformed" life all the time.

Also, do not follow all these false teachers and fake pastors we have in abundance nowadays. They will make you twice as worse than you were previously. Seek Christ and him alone. Shalom!

Same first name. Same surname. Same initials. Don't blame the news outlets.

joinnow:
The condition is commonly called penis captivus.
It is a rare, involuntary medical phenomenon where the penis becomes temporarily trapped inside the vagina during sexual intercourse.

resolved itself within minutes? If that's usually the case, then there will be no need for audience. Do you know how long they would have been trying to loose free before calling out for help? To gather crowd and make news? Within minutes keh!

Also, why dosent it affect married couples who are intimate regularly . Only unfaithful adulterers? Spare us the science tale, abeg.

But why do you want to kill yourself with problems at such a young age? Considering how you were abandoned by your mum, you still care for her by sending her funds from your meagre income. Is that not enough?

I am shocked you are even considering bringing an obviously spoilt teenage boy into your home to feed, house, care for, physically, financially and emotionally. Na wah for you o!

Your half-brother is not your responsibility. He even has two parents, unlike you, at his age. Let his two parents take care of the son they birth and over-pampared and ill-trained.

Just say NO!

Layi4real:
Good day Nairaland family,
I am a Geology graduate of FUTMINNA, recently completed and awaiting NYSC mobilization. I am seeking recommendations for good PPAs where I can gain relevant professional experience as a Geologist. I would also appreciate advice or assistance on securing a PPA request letter before camp.
Any guidance or referrals will be greatly appreciated. Thank you and God bless.

create your own thread.

sp2002:
I got sick in September 22nd 2024. I was diagnosed of stroke and got admitted in the hospital but was in comma for my first 80dys in the hospital plus 2 brain surgeries. This happened few months I got into canada and I am still still in the hospital upto date because I am partially paralyzed on my left side. Glory be to God

May God heal you completely and restore your health totally in Jesus name.

CodeTemplarr:
Did farming really killed him? I doubt. Seem like spiritual angle.

You have a point. How does loss of income lead to organ failure and partial blindness. Depression, Insomnia; Yes. But not that kind of rapid sickness. Well, he seems like a good man. May he keep resting.

SisterAnn:
Majority of them are not members of CAN. CAN can only wade in if he was their member.

These guys are a cabal of evil men, they won't ever want to be in an association that regulates their operations.

even at that, nothing stops them for speaking and condemning such atrocities in the Church.

So what's the problem now ? Every family has made one form of compromise or the other? So what's the big deal about a court wedding. It is quick, quiet, cost - effective and the most legally-recognised of all marriages.

Do your court wedding and move on with your life. There's so much more to achieve.

The Op is right. Why are people defending nonsense? The pictures are compromising enough. The posture is indecent for two spiritual leaders whom we all know are in a relationship. Even Joshua Selman confirmed their relationship status on that day.

It's wrong. Very wrong. But who will discipline him? They just do what they like with no consequences. Shame!

Now this story makes more sense. Honestly, when I saw the pix of the girl at first I was perplexed as she looked like your regular sales girl; definitely not a babe with a sugar daddy dating a DPO!

Poor girl! She sought soccour from the police. They failed her. Scratch that! The failure started from her parents. Which is why is important to birth kids you can adequately cater for. I hope she gets justice at least. May she Rest in Peace.

Well, she is not a newbie in mfm. She knows how ministers are expected to dress when ministering at any mfm services or events. For example, hair covering, no trousers etc. She is not ignorant of all these. She broke the rules of engagement. So suspension is in order. Not a fan of the church though.

Op, don't mind all these people trying to blame you. You stated that they have professed feelings for one another already. So that in itself amounts to cheating on your wife's part.

You warned her, called her family, you tried. Yet she still decided to initiate conversation. Someone she should have blocked and deleted his numbers

Pls. Send her away. Separation is not divorce. Let her learn her lesson. Affirm your authority. It is her shame, not yours. The other guy can't even marry her. Just wants to explore and dissaper. And the foolish woman wants to throw away the blessing that God has given her.

Send her parking. Let her go and explain to her family and her friends how she misbehaved. Her eye will clear soon. Do this to punish her but especially to follow up on your words so she takes you as a serious person.

After a long while and with proof of deep remorse, like blocking the guy's number, you can allow her back in, with stringent measures like not eating her food etc for a while . She won't dare try it next time.

dipset01:
I honestly feel very frustrated and just need to get this off my chest. I now understand what people mean when they say, “Don’t marry the wrong spouse.” Brethren, I think I may have gotten this one wrong.

My wife and I have been married for seven years. I was 28 when we got married, and she was 22. In the beginning, things were fine, but along the line, the marriage became increasingly challenging. From early on, intimacy was an issue. She often refused sex, saying she was tired. To reduce tension, I limited my request to once a week — usually Saturday mornings — even though I would have liked more.
She also didn’t cook regularly. I complained several times, especially since I covered about 95% of food and household expenses. Eventually, I got tired of complaining. When we moved to lagos from portharcourt, She once told me she didn’t feel loved and wanted me to do more house chores and take her out more. I tried to adjust — suggested she hired a maid, helped around the house, and made an effort to take her out when possible. Lagos life can be very busy, but I did what I could. Every year for the past four years, I made sure we lodged in a 4- or 5-star hotel for a few days as a couple. She went on vacation to dubai 2 years ago. But she often said I was doing it “for the family (children), not for her.” That she wants her own treatment.


At one point, after a serious conflict, I took her to her father’s house and told him that we didn’t love each other anymore. During the mediation, she played the victim at first, crying. But when her father tried to correct her, she suddenly became defensive and started yelling — even at him. Her father was shocked and had to calm the situation. He later told us something that stuck with me: “You two talk, but you don’t communicate.” Since then, I’ve tried to improve our communication, but it feels like my wife has given up on the marriage.

In the past year, things have gotten worse. Any small thing I say seems to anger her. She interprets normal conversations as arguments and shuts down. I have become conscious of it and tell her not to raise her voice and try to match her voice tone. She’s not open to resolving conflicts. I honestly believe she no longer loves me — she resents me. She gets angry easily, often over nothing. We barely talk deeply anymore. Most of our conversations are shallow. I try to initiate discussions, but she’s either uninterested, on her phone, or just cold.

She no longer sleeps in the same bed with me, claiming back and neck pain. I’ve offered to buy a new mattress or switch beds, but she’s not interested. As a result, our sex life has deteriorated — we’re down to about once in three weeks, and even that comes with tension. Even to approach her now comes with alot of hesitation and fear of rejection. Recently, when I tried to be intimate, she got angry, accused me of hurting her breast, even though she was the one preventing me, she then walked away. That led to another quarrel. It’s extremely frustrating to feel rejected repeatedly, especially after weeks of restraint.

Even minor things turn into big arguments. For example, I once told her not to pour water into the griller after cooking because it could cause rust. Her reaction was explosive — she shouted that she’d never wash the oven again and that I should do it myself, going forward. I felt asked was she was yelling. I tried to calmly explain, but she kept escalating, I must wash it, if she cooks the food, i must wash the burner. It dawned on me that she no longer sees or appreciates what I do in the house. Despite being the main provider, I still handle more than 50% of household chores — I wash dishes, vacuum, clean toilets, take the boys to school, iron everyone cloth etc. She mainly cooks, bathes the kids, and does laundry. I told her I do as much chores and she is in no position to dictate to me, no big deal in washing the burner but she needs to be polite. And she should not take me doing chores for granted, I am just supporting her. We both work from home so there is no stress of commuting to work etc

She acts like she’s disgusted by me. She avoids sitting near me, doesn’t want me to touch her, and even turns her face away when I try to kiss her. If she is sitting on a chair, if i come sit on that chair she will use style and go to the room. It is either my mouth smells or my tummy is big. I am relative fit, not a 6 packs man o. I go just swallow these things. Nothing wrong in feedback, but the way and manner she gives it is not fine. Never ever body shamed her. One day she told me, sabi I was almost calling of the marriage while we were engaged, why did I marry her? I was shocked. It was something I didnt remember doing. It just shocks me to know how unforgiving a woman can be, and what goes through their mind.

When I try to talk things through, she ignores me or gives cold replies. I’ve even sent messages on WhatsApp just to get through to her — she either ignores them or replies with things like, “You win.” We don’t walk together anymore — she either walks ahead or rushes off.

One day I even begged her to forgive and forget whatever I might have done, even if I didn’t know what it was. But things only seem to get worse. We relocated to the UK last year, and I thank God I have a good job that helps me support the home. Honestly, I feel that’s the only reason she’s still around. My spirit tells me that if I ever lose this job, I might lose my home too. Or she is just waiting for the kids to be of age.

I’ve tried to make things better — bought her gifts (including a Samsung S24 for her birthday), taken her and the kids to the cinema, arcade, amusement park, and more. She enjoys these things, but there’s no real change. Even told her to tell me what she wants. The only area I think I need to still work on is the pray more with the family. She says she wants me to pray more with her and the children. I admit it an area I need to work on.

No one is perfect, neither am I or expecting my wife to be. I know I’m a good husband and a great father, But it feels like she’s emotionally checked out. Divorce is never in my mind because I come from a Christian home, and I care deeply about my kids and even her. I still believe any marriage can work if both partners are willing to try. But right now, I’m just tired. It’s painful when you want to communicate, but the other person refuses. She’s grown cold, distant, and resentful. When she cooks, I can see the resentment in her eyes, she is not happy doing it. It is like she went into the marriage with certain expectation and it doesnt look like I am meeting them. I have tried to ask, what can i do, teach me to love you. Tell me what you wants, for where? she will just lock up.

She has good qualities — she’s spiritual, beautiful, ambitious, serious-minded, she takes good care of the kids, she has introduced my children to God and prays with them. But emotionally, it feels like she’s no longer in the marriage. I’m just frustrated and honestly don’t know what else to do. I’m not perfect, but I’ve been faithful, responsible, and patient.

At this point, I just needed to vent. Maybe someone out there has gone through something similar and found a way forward.

she doesn't love you. Gosh!!! Can't you see? t's so glaringly obvious. She doesn't, probably, never loved you. And never will!

pocohantas:
Her brother's marriage and hers has crashed.
They are both heading the church. Last last we are all pencils in the hand of the creator.

What! Her brother's marriage has crashed as well? Are you sure about this?

That family is not a good family. Thank God it was revealed to her before marriage otherwise she would have seen pepper in that marriage. What arrant nonsense. To call an 11 year old child Aunty and use the E yoruba tone for everyone regardless of age.

They don't value her. Neither does the so-called hushand to be. Haba! So undignifying! God will bring the right family who will value and appreciate her, and of course while she also honors bad respects them. It's a reciprocal thing.

Looks stressed and 10years older. He should take it easy.

That's why a true believer should pray to God themselves. But If you are not and you contract a "pastor", to pray for you, then be ready to pay up whatever he charges. A true servant-leader will pray for you and move on. You are the one that will now decide whether to send them gifts of appreciation or not. .
Anyway, na dem sabi Jare.

Hmmm. That's even the least of the problem of today's church. Let this slide. The main issue of concern is the doctrine of the pharisees.

What a sad story! Father was so heart - broken and his heart could no longer bear the sudden and huge loss of his son . That is why it's good to keep praying for anyone you know who have been bereaved. May their souls find rest.