₦airaland Forum

I'm sorry. Your wife dosent live you. For the majority of women if is even the romance they want, not the sex. For a woman not to even want her husband to cuddle her, she dosent love you. So what will you do now with 2 kids? I'm not sure. Maybe you'd just have to let her go. Life is too short for you both to be unsatisfied and unhappy.

SunShowAfrica:
Death can come in any way. We are all only aiming to live long and healthy... She was murdered not because she was unwise, she was just unfortunate to be at that place

Lagos. They've been divorced for 18years, newspaper report says.

The miracle is possible. There's power in the name of Jesus. But that dosent mean the vessel God uses for his miracles, (example Jerry Eze) is holy, true and has God's approval. God is just merciful and kind.

Are you male or female? If the latter, shouldn't you be resting after a serious surgery like CS, especially with its after pains? If a man, shouldn't you be very busy now helping your wife and family? And you are online asking strangers to congratulate you? Sounds suspicious. Additionally, you recently registered your moniker. Just to post your good news to strangers?... Well, congratulations sha.

You are living in a rented house and spending N700k a month just on food and fuel? That's too much! You'll need to lower your standard of living. What if you experience a temporary setback in your job or business over several months or a few years? I don't wish you bad o, but things happen!
Your wife is the one setting the standard and not the kids. It is her desires and fears that she's projecting onto the kids, and making them get used to getting branded quality meals all the time. It is what you give your kids that they'll become used to overtime.
Give her less, invest more (money market fund, FGN bonds, sukuk, treasury bills, stocks etc), save more, plan for your future. Your kids are still small, they'll need much more funding as they grow.

illicit:
How did you know she was pushed?

🥴

She didn't die immediately. She could still talk.

capnies:
MY . BROTHERS I CAN TELL YOU THAT IT IS EASIER TO LIVE RIGHTEOUSLY THAN TO LIVE I SIN

Nope! How can it be easier? Your natural sin life you were born it? Do you teach children to lie? Nevertheless, as we trust in the power of God to help us, renew our mind constantly so as not to conform with the world's system, it becomes less difficult day by day. But it's never easy. It's a narrow gate and narrow way requiring sacrifice and steadfastness. But the other broad way is wide enough to accommodate everyone, with their sins, vices and self and coast them along easily to distruction.

family6644:
It started when I lost someone dear to me, I almost ran mad, they had to call a local nurse who administered an injection to me, the thing off me, when I woke up it started again, I was given another dose, it got me so high that I don't know anything again until I slept off again.

This is how I started requesting for it, I started taking it to get over the trauma, the lady noticed I was getting addicted she refused giving me saying it's dangerous, I had to call my pharmacist friend to get regular supplies, though he didn't stop warning me but I'm already addicted taking it every 4hours, trying to stop when I started seeing the damages but I couldn't.

The fatigue that will follow is unbearable, I will end up taking it to feel okay again. I attached a picture of my hands with the damage.

I need help, I want out so that I can live my normal life but I don't know how, has anyone been there before? How did you get over it? I don't want to die from this. Please help me

Hello how are you doing now? I hope you have overcome the addiction and are in a much better state of health and mind for your self and your children. Stay blessed!

The bible tells us that in the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. Full stop. After that, other things happened which were not recorded in the next verse, but in other books of the bible. What were these other things?

The fall of lucifer! An archangel, who was proud and wanted to be like God in account of his beauty and gift. He was cast down to earth, it was he that made darkness fill the earth.

So the Genesis continued the creation story, without giving us those details above. It was because of Satan who brought sin to earth that the "earth was without form and void, and darkness was moving all over".

The bible tells us that in 1jn1:5 that God is light and in him is no darkness that all.

Eyaah! They must have been really frustrated. Probably they have contributed funds in time past to no avail. Darkness is very frustrating. May the Lord answer their prayers.

Westerhoffe:
Please, choose right by allowing GOD choose the right partner for you.

That way, you'll have no reason for divorce.

This is not true. Every marriage requires some level of hard work and lots of commitments for it to work, even if God chooses your partner for you.

I don't really understand the response I 'm reading. Op barely knew the Uncle, helped him till his death, transferred the help to his wife who took it like ske was entitled to it so much so that she didn't even think her worthy to visit the OP and her baby when she gave birth. Who does that?

Dear Op, I am a giver as well. As a matter of fact, I love giving, but if I were you, I wouldn't send anything to this widow anymore. She dosent love you. Dosent even like you or appreciate you. You are just an Atm to her. Pray to God, he will direct you to people to give to, and that is where he will bless you, not all these man-made, by-force giving that God did not send you.

TimFisher2:
Wow, Wow, Wow.


So parents don't have pictures of their children in their own personal phones again...


What kind of parenting are we practicing again?

the Father couldn't find his phone same time his son went missing.

TimFisher2:




They should use clearer pics and circulate as soon as possible

Cos He can't find his phone, probably.

Sorry. OP,about your ordeal but just so you know, your mother will Never changed. She's too far gone for that, with all what you 've detailed here. But you have your life to lead and this isn't healthy for your mental and emotional state at all.

I suggest you drag her, whether she likes it or not, to a good old people' s home where she'll be properly looked after. It isn't even safe for her to keep changing helps, with what we hear in the media nowadays. Alternatively. get a well-recommended family in need of accommodation (from church or distant relatives) to live with her. The rent they will pay is in caring for your mum

If she refuses, I'm afraid you may have to put your own needs above hers. Relocate or simply cut her off from a while.

I really wish you the best of luck.

Don't know who will help you with a new account. I know I will not. If you're genuine, what's the shame in it. You kill person? You created an account today and you think people will flood in to fill your bank account with their hard-earned money or waste time verifying you. Dosent work that way, dear. Not for me sha. Wish you all the best.

Kobojunkie:
Did your dad not equally fail you as a father? Both of them are supposed to provide you with support even to this point in your life but they aren't. So, both parents failed you. This is, however, about whether to tell your stepmom, and I wonder why you feel guilty that she is not aware that you are in contact with your mother. You have yet to explain exactly why you feel that kind of guilt.

I think it's because he is not really close to his step mum whom he met just last year 2022. He dosent know how she will react especially now that she is the sole sponsor of his education. As a son, he dosent also want to belittle his biological mum before a step mom by telling her his mother's ordeal and hardship.
I quite understand the young man. And I feel for him. He has and had never had any close relationship with any family member so he is confused and lost.

Does your biological mum have any way to contact your biological dad and step mum? If not do not bother yourself about revealing anything to them. Just tell your mum, you have forgiven her but right now you need to focus on your studies. Don't give yourself emotional pressure for nothing. Dont tell your step mum and dad. And if your mum keeps calling you and bothering you after you've told her you've forgiven her just block her number. You are still very young abeg for all these drama they caused.

Catchy! Me likey!

Sorry about the pain you feel. But why should you trust a human being, with your life? They aren't God and can let you down. Try and remove bitterness from your heart, and pray for your enemies, not curse. God will provide a beter job for you when you do.

ZaddyJ:
It's a lesson for all to learn from. Paternal and maternal that should play here is that no matter the position God puts you never I repeat should you treat any man's child bad.
Do you know how many orphans ,motherless babies ,uncles aunties the less privileges the ekweremadu must maltreated badly and denied them of their right ?
My brother a lot of today have been suffering the deeds of our parents because of their selfish attitude . As I'm I've been out of job since 2020 no thanks to my boss whom I trusted with my life that she will helped and assist secure a permanent job ( because I ve been a contract staff for yrs) this woman used me at the end of the day she brought in her church members who were less than a year and then told me the governor of the state said non indigene should be employed lo and behold her church members were not from the state .
As I speak to I wake up at times and curse her and her grand children because she has only one child but I still dont care I curse her .

I have read all your points. My candied advice is for you to go ahead and marry him. Why? Your ex-husband didn't want your son to live with him. But this older man doesn't seem to mind, not to take one but all four! f you are scared of him changing his mind, have him see your relatives and reaffirm his stance.

Just trust God, and pray to him to help your husband love you all. He also needs to be encouraged. It's not easy. No one knows the future. Who knows you may be the one giving him attitude tomorrow.
Trust God. Do not Fear. Marry him. Pray. Encourage him. Love him. Pray. All will be well.

bercarray:
i wonder how some of you guys can be so selfish and also your way of reasoning, so what happens if you exhaust all the cash on you while paying for the okada and danfo, you'll perhaps go about with bank form and ask them to open a bank account because you want to pay them ₦100

What will happen to the old women that does not know anything about technology

What about the low income earners that cannot bear the unnecessary bank charges

What about wanting to cook at home and I've exhausted my matches, i should transfer ₦50 for the matches and bank should charge me ₦50 extra. Isn't that unnecessary way of spending money? Or should I go to supermarket buy a pack of matches for #200 like matches is the only thing I'd be eating at home
What about small small kids that depend on their parents to give them money to spend in school or should they go about with ATM card too or phones? If they won't lost in within a week

I can go on and on... But because u can easily afford those things now you are saying people should quit the complaint . Sorry to say its a senseless way of thinking

You are both saying the same thing, which is Cash payments should be for little items.

The questions are do YOU see anything wrong with it? Are you aware she dresses like that? Were you surprised to see that picture?
Answer these questions truthfully; then make a decision. Your mum has really tried; but in the issue of marriage, you may have to put your foot down, especially if the above are the only issues your fiancée have. All the best!

And if she finally agrees, please tell your fiancée to mark/select your mum's number from viewing her WhatsApp status. To avoid unnecessary monitorings and explanations.

Gudfadah:
Good evening nairaland.

I am a married man and I have six children. When I met with my first wife she was a single mother of 1 girl she was a years 6 months we got married when she was 5 years old.
We had 3 children together making them 4 unfortunately we lost her in 2016 during the birth of our twins.

Before she passed on she asks me to promise her that if anything happened to her I should never send her daughter back to her family to experience the same thing she went through in there hands.
I have promised her that the child is mine and she will never go anywhere the day she will leave my house will be on her wedding day.
I have also promised her that nothing will happen to her and we will grow old together. Unfortunately we lost her and I have continued being a father to all four children and I have never treated my step daughter differently.

I have since remarried and we are blessed with twins. When I met with my current wife I didn't tell her that my step daughter is not my biological child she knew she was my first child.
She has been a part of me ever since she was 1 plus and I didn't think it was necessary telling my wife she was not my child.

She was treating all four children good until my wicked aunty has spill the beans which I have apologised for not telling her in the first and I have asked her to continue being a good mother she was before knowing the truth.
But she refused saying I didn't tell the truth and the child should go and leave with her mom family. I have explained to her the reason why she cannot stay with them to no avail and I ask her not to tell the child the truth but she has told her.

It wasn't easy for her knowing the truth she asks me if I will take her back to her mom people I said no. She is still my child and she will not go anywhere and I will resolve the problem very soon.

Unfortunately my wife has totally changed so much toward the child and I hate coming home seeing her crying all the time. She feel insecure in the house knowing that she is not the biological child of the house.

Talking to my wife was to no avail she has insist that the child must go back to her mother family or they will be not peace.

I reported the problem to her people nothing was done and we are still dealing with the same thing everyday.

Honestly speaking I hate being in such a messy situation but I will not send her back to her mom family she is my first child and I have made a promise to my late wife that the day the child will leave my house it will be the day she will get married.
Since my wife want her to leave and the child is already depresses.
I have come to conclusion I will not divorce her but I will rent a 2 bedroom apartment for her to be staying with the twins while I continue staying with the four children in my house I owe the house.

I haven't told her anything about my decision yet and I want to know if getting her own house will help the situation. This is where I need your advice nairalanders what do I do in this situation?

Don't rent any nonsense 2 bedroom for her. Be a man! Put your foot down! Didn't your new wife know that you had children before she married you? Why would it matter whether they are all your biological children? Don't people adopt children as theirs, how much more the daughter of your own wife, the sister of your own children?

Threaten to leave your wife if her behaviour persist to marry another who will accommodate all children peacefully. Of course, you don't mean it, just shock her into reality. What nonsense! If she persist, do not eat her food, exaggerate your anger and report her behaviour to her family. If you do not. One day, she'll extend such morbid behaviour to your own children. Mark my words.

And for that your aunt that spilled the beans, warn her in very strong words never to interfere in your family matter. Show extreme displeasure. You can apologise later once she gets the message.

See, you have a responsibility to preserve your home, which includes that your step daughter. Even if you aren't under any vow, which even makes it worse. It's not fair at all. I already feel sorry for the poor girl, losing her mum and waking up to the glooming reality that her her stepfather don't love her enough to fight and keep her.

I am a believer. For several years in my dreams, I fight demons with intense prayers and emerge victorious. I bind, wound, cast out, destroy, annihilate, stomp on demons and evil spirits with such deep exhibition of power and always win. Occasionally, when I'm feeling tired inside the dream and it seem like the other party will prevail. I suddenly wake up.

In reality, I lead an ordinary life. I pray regularly, but not with such intensity, and especially towards demons. I have no ministry or calling, I'm just your everyday Christian, living for Christ to the best of my knowledge.
These dreams have been with me for decades. They went away for a while, now it has returned. I don't know whether I should do anything about it or just continue living the simple life God has given me. What do you think?

Pinkie2018:
Please I have a problem in my marriage. I need advice. Pls no insult.
I got married 2020 and did the court Marriage last month. My husband has been a wonderful husband and by God's grace I have been a wonderful wife and a mother. We have one child.
The issue I'm having in my marriage is anger management. When ever my husband gets angry, he says all sorts of things to me, like leave my house, you are a bad wife, different sorts of insults of which whenever we reconcile he apologizes sometimes.
He's the type that no matter the good things you do, once he gets annoyed, he abuse you verbally of which really hurts me. Last month we had an argument that resulted to a fight, her beat me like his fellow man and locked me out and ask me to leave his house. Neighbors intervened and we settled.
Something happened today. He came back home around 2.am this morning instead of the usual 11-12pm he usually arrive home. I wasn't happy, he tried to explain but I knew he was lying because my sister in-law already called one of his friends before he came back. So I wasn't happy with him but I didn't make trouble with him. So this morning I drank aju mbaise and hot drink on empty stomach, so it was affecting me and making me want to faint. So it happened that he was giving me money for something this morning but I felt like fainting so I threw the money on the floor and quickly fell on the bed. After few minutes, I regained myself and got up, all the while my husband never cared to know what the problem was. I got up and asked him for the money, he started shouting and insulting me that why will I trow money on the floor for him. I tried to explain to him what Happened, he never cared to listen. He started insulting me, saying I will leave his house, that he can't continue with the marriage, that he will kill me. Note, it's not the first time he has threatened to kill me. I don't know what to do. His family members have talked to him about this his attitude about marriage but he gets worse. Pls I need advice because this his "leave my house" and threat all the time is too much. Little issue that couples have and settle, my husband always make it a big deal. If he annoys me and I get annoyed and refuse to talk to him, he will vex and start insulting me and threatening me. Pls I need your advice, what do you think I should do? how can I change him because I don't want my marriage to crash?, we have a daughter and u wouldn't want her to grow in a divided home. Thanks

I'm.sorry...i don't see anything wonderful about your husband..he abuses you emotionally and physically and has no atom of respect for you or your feelings. He threatens you to leave, so why don't you shock him one day and do so. Leave! Maybe it will bring him.back to his senses
Maybe not. Love yourself, give value to yourself. You only have 1 daughter. Better stay alive for her. You'll be fine.

So sorry for your loss. God is Almighty. Allow him to carry you.

What a very sad story!!! Poor, poor parents!

What Nonsense! Even a father has not seen his new born baby and you talk of resuming?

Barrister026:
Hello all,

This is difficult situation for me, my mom's house has been left uncompleted since 2014 just the foundation and probably 2couch were placed ontop since then it's been there because she had to send my siblings and I to higher institution. Now am of age, doing quite well for myself. I think am finally ready to build a house, was thinking about getting a land 100 by 50 and raise 5 bedroom flats... but on the other hand that my mom's building had been left uncompleted since it's a family land, relatives are starting to say somethings and sometimes I could see the shame on my mom's face when she goes to her family compound. Almost every months they always call her to come clear it that it has become harbor for snakes and pests. So I thought why don't I just complete it for her first.


The issue here Is immediately I told my fiancee she said it's a good idea but kicked against it. That I should build mine first, before completing my mom's. That it can wait.

I also confided in a friend of mine, he said almost same thing, that my thing is different from our own. Saying am not the only one my mom gave birth to, if I complete it now I should be ready to share it with my siblings no matter what when the time comes.

I'm confused and need advice on the step to take. I would really want to complete that house for my mom I Know it would mean a lot to her..I'm really confused.

One way or the other somebody has to develop it, if I the first son don't do it now that am financially stable. Then my younger bro will do it, trust me it won't make sense that way that's just my fear.

Go to your mum. Buy the property from her BUT don't tell anyone. None of you should. Build it and let her live in it. Everyone will congratulate her and congratulate you for building for her. She will be immensely happy and both of you will be fulfilled. Anytime God calls her home, the house is yours and no one will be able to dispute it with you.

Threesha:
From DM

some people and irrelevancies sha! Of all the problems of marriage! The fact is that we post our family's pix, not for them but for us. The cute pictures we display of our kids, and the comments we receive, do our children view them? We do it for ourselves. It gives us joy. So if your wife does not even publish her own kids pix, it simply means she is content with enjoying her kids without public approval. Same reason she doesn't publish her husband's. Simple! People are different jare!