₦airaland Forum

Two Scottish nuns have just arrived in the USA by boat and one says to the other, " I hear that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs."
"Odd," her companion replies, " But if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do." Nodding emphatically, the mother superior points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk towards it.

"Two dogs, please." Says the mother superior. The vendor is only too pleased to oblige and he wraps both hot dogs in foil. Excited, the nuns hurry over to a bench and begin to unwrap their 'dogs'. The mother superior is first to open hers, then, staring at it for a moment, leans over to the other nun and whispers cautiously, "What part of the dog did you get?"

The day care teacher holds up a picture and asks, "What's this?" "A horsy," one child answers.

"And this?" the teacher asks. "A piggy," replies another youngster."

And now this one?" asks the teacher, holding up a picture of a male deer with a beautiful rack of antlers. There was no answer, only total silence. "Come now, children," she coaxes, "I'll give you a little hint".

What does your Mommy call your Daddy when he hugs and kisses her a lot? "I know! I know!!" exclaims one little girl.
"It's a Hot bastard!"

Lipstick Girls

A principal of a small middle school had a problem with a few of the oldergirls starting to use lipstick. When applying it in the bathroom they wouldthen press their lips to the mirror and leave lip prints.

Before it got out of hand he thought of a way to stop it. He gathered allthe girls together that wore lipstick and told them he wanted to meet withthem in the ladies room at 2pm.

They gathered at 2pm and found the principaland the school custodian waiting for them.

The principal explained that it was becoming a problem for the custodian toclean the mirror every night. He said he felt the ladies did not fullyunderstand just how much of a problem it was and he wanted them to witnessjust how hard it was to clean.

The custodian then demonstrated. He took a long brush on a handle out of abox. He then dipped the brush in the nearest toilet, moved to the mirror andproceeded to remove the lipstick.

That was the last day the girls pressed their lips on the mirror.

ok mr turkey, because a the good heart I have I'm gonna just eat one of ur laps for christmas just one, ok

they've said it all

dodges mig chidish move and snips his balls off, that will do

dont mind them I enjoy the joke, its cool

whats dis a joke or what?

@kooldamsel

where @ thou

I send a clone of me to saucekid and migines and they are busy pouring acid on its bones and selling its skin while I watch in amusement, shots them both on their knee caps and shoulder bones, they become crippled 4 life. I remained indestructable

@sixbon

One love to U homie, welcome to our home land, I'm visiting onicha-ugbo this christmas hope to meet U.

@fabiano

1 love to U, which part of delta U dey represent?

@victoria
whats up baby girl wetin dey, na 4rm delta I dey hail from o, Asaba precisely

Migines 4gets why they call me the steel man and his busy throwing knives like a kid, got tried of his jokes and dissected him in half brings out his heart and shows it to his face why he dies in silence

snicks in cuts saucekid throat and snicks out leaving him dead in his pool of blood.

snipes migines in the head and he dies like a chicken. wasn't readt 4 the battle afterall

gives emper a wink and he melts down the drain

hello children[sup][/sup]walks in smiling with a truck filled with grenades, forces sauces mouth open and drop three grenades into his mouth and down his throat, he explodes and not even a piece of his flesh found

Hello House, how about we throw a Christmas BASH 4 just deltans @ any location in any part of country maybe somewhere in Delta State.

@victorian

U're very much welcome to da House. were are U @ is it lagos ar warri?

Hello House its been a while, how're we doing?

@kooldamsel
whats poppin, like U got a new friend.

@onyeka_ng
U're from Issele-uku? thats good to know cos thats my home town. so are u in isseleuku now? if not were U @? I would love to know more about U. pls holla back.

lol

@all

Hello House, anywhere U are just remember 2 represent where U are from cos no place ike Home U know

A Canadian is having his breakfast (coffee croissants, bread, butter andjam) when an American man, chewing gum, sits down next to him.

The Canadian ignores the American who, nevertheless, starts a conversation.

American: "You Canadian fold eat the whole bread?"

Canadian (in a bad mood): "Of course".

American: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. In America, we onlyeat what's inside. The crust we collect in container, recycle it, transformthem into croissants and sell them to Canada." The American has a smirkon his face.

The Canaidan listens in silence.

The American persists: "Do you eat jelly with the bread??"

Canadian: "Of Course."

American: (cracking his gum between his teeth and chuckling)."We don't. In America we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put allthe peels, seeds, and left overs in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam to Canada.

The Canadian then asks: "Do you have sex in America?"

American: "Why of course we do", the American says with a big smirk.

Canadian: "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"

American: "We throw them away, of course".

Canaidan: "We don't. In Canada, we put them in a container, recycle themmelt them down into chewing gum and sell them to America

By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room wastaken.

"You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded. "Or just a bed, Idon't care where."

"Well, I do have a double room with one occupant - an Air Force guy,"admitted the manager, "and he might be glad to split the cost. But totell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining roomshave complained in the past. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you."

"No problem," the tired Marine assured him. "I'll take it."

The next morning the Marine came down to breakfast bright-eyed andbushy-tailed. "How'd you sleep?" asked the manager.

"Never better."

The manager was impressed. "No problem with the other guy snoring,then?"

"Nope, I shut him up in no time" said the Marine.

"How'd you manage that?" asked the manager.

"He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room," theMarine" explained.

"I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, 'Goodnight,beautiful,' and he sat up all night watching me."

By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room wastaken.

"You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded. "Or just a bed, Idon't care where."

"Well, I do have a double room with one occupant - an Air Force guy,"admitted the manager, "and he might be glad to split the cost. But totell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining roomshave complained in the past. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you."

"No problem," the tired Marine assured him. "I'll take it."

The next morning the Marine came down to breakfast bright-eyed andbushy-tailed. "How'd you sleep?" asked the manager.

"Never better."

The manager was impressed. "No problem with the other guy snoring,then?"

"Nope, I shut him up in no time" said the Marine.

"How'd you manage that?" asked the manager.

"He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room," theMarine" explained.

"I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, 'Goodnight,beautiful,' and he sat up all night watching me."

<A man walks into the front door of a bar. He is obviously drunk, and staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool and, with a belch, asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender politely informs the man that it appears that he has already had plenty to drink, he could not be served additional liquor at this bar, and could a cab be called for him?

The drunk is briefly surprised, then softly scoffs, grumbles, climbs down off the bar stool and staggers out the front door. A few minutes later, the same drunk stumbles in the SIDE door of the bar. He wobbles up to the bar and hollers for a drink. The bartender comes over and, still politely - but more firmly, refuses service to the man due to his inebriation, and again offers to call a cab. The drunk looks at the bartender for a moment angrily, curses, and shows himself out the side door, all the while grumbling and shaking his head.

A few minutes later, the same drunk bursts in through the back door of the bar. He plops himself up on a bar stool, gathers his wits and belligerently orders a drink. The bartender comes over and emphatically reminds the man that he is clearly drunk, will be served no drinks, and either a cab or the police will be called immediately.

The surprised drunk looks at the bartender, and in hopeless anguish, cries "Man! How many bars do you work at?"

@carin4u
from which part of delta are u from?

@gillgee
looking forward to that day, U can send ur phone number to my email chukkycenter@yahoo.com so I can give U a call, ok.

@iwajay

please we are not in a smelling mouth competition check another thread

@gilgee

well I'm in Asaba now, hope we can meet when U come around?

@gilgee
well I in Asaba now, hope we can meet when U come around?

@lady ti
abeg waka commot here with ur toothpick legs and groundnut brain

@iwajay
what do U mean little, are U alright

@tessy
comeout where ever U are *searches unders the table and chair* and stop hiding.

just listen to tessy