₦airaland Forum

The dress is a hit but d sneakers? Is a gaddamn miss

[quote author=Foxy_Ultimate]>>>> fast forward>>>> **Many Years Later**

Finally she said something.

''ATTAI, I AM PREGNANT''


''I have not seen my period since last month''


Immediately I developed headache, fever, running stomach and high blood pressure. I had fathered a !2 children from diffrent mothers at so young an age( WHAT AN ACHIVEMENT MY FATHER COULD NEVVER REACH AT MY AGE). I couldn't wait for office hours to come to an end.
.[/quote]but in ur true life story u were happY. anyways u MUST adopt d baby while ITbomB adopt d mother.FINITO

thank you

An igbo trader and his son were listening to a
radio broadcast, eventually the boy looked at
his father and said,"daddy, this people are
making a very big mistake" then his father
asked him what is the matter, the boy replied
saying"when mr Obi died, the announced
"Obituary" and now Mr Okoro died and they
still announced "Obituary" Again instead of
"Okorotuary".

Now Let Me Ask You, If Mr. Akpors die, what
would you announce?

THINGS YOU MUST KNOW BEFORE MARRIAGE

---

.

1. Once you are hooked to the wrong
person the battle is over, you will
either be managing or patching till you
die. If a goat marries a fish, how
would they live or where would they
be meeting each other? It is only
when the goat is thirsty and goes to
the river to drink water that they will
only see briefly as the
fish will jump out to greet the goat
and swim away. Any marriage where
both partners see each other once in
a long while is likened to the goat and
fish illustration above. Marriage does
not make marriage. It is the people in
marriage that make marriage.
2. Compatibility is worked out, of
course you may never get a perfect
person.
But with dedication, knowledge and
wisdom compatibility will start
building, that is if he or she is the
right person.
3. But the major challenge in getting
married is choosing the right person.
You don't choose a person because he
or she is available or eligible. You
choose a person because that person
is the right for you.
4. Run away from any man or woman
that is easily angered by nature; that
is getting angry easily is in his or her's
lifestyle. It is difficult to change that
person. But if someone gets angry by
mistake, that person can be
corrected but if it is in his or her
nature, you have to think twice.
5. It is possible to mis-marry. It is
possible to be living with the wrong
man or woman. It is possible to be
dating the wrong person or be in
courtship with the wrong person.
6. Once your choice is right then you
are on the right track. How can a lion
be married to a goat? what now
happens when the lion is hungry? Any
man that beats his wife is likened to
the above illustration. Any woman that
oppresses her husband is also likened
to this scenario.
7. There are some people that are
highly inflamable, please do not take a
box of matches near them. What this
means is that these people's hearts
are made of stone, giving them your
soft heart in love is a mistake. They
will not value it.
8. Love may be blind to many, but
marriage will definitely open their
eyes. Love in reality is not blind when
you start seeing those unchangeable
signs during courtship please keep
off. When a man starts cheating on
you when dating, it is a sign that he
will do much more when he is married
to you. He or she may legally begin to
cheat on you because he is now
married legally to you.
9. Dating is not for outing alone,
dating is for knowing, watching and
examining. Watch out for negative
signs to see if it can be dealt with, if
it cannot be dealt with in courtship it
may not change in marriage.
10. To get the right person, try to be
the right person. Work on yourself,
work on your flaws.
11 America and the western world is
plagued with divorce today because
they marry without paying attention to
these facts listed above. They marry
without knowing the person they are
marrying at least to a large extent.
12. Don't practice divorce before you
get married. That is when you are
breaking relationships over and over
again, your emotion is also affected in
the process. Wait for the right
person.
13. Don't marry because you cannot
enjoy your singlehood. If you are
happy being single, then you will be
happy being married and if you are
not happy while still single......
14. Marriage is not an escape from
singlehood but marriage is actually a
graduation from singlehood... moving
from writing simple exams of life to
writing another hard exams.
15. Do not rush into marriage because
you are under pressure or you are
feeling you are the odd one out. When
you are feeling everyone is getting
married except you then you are making
yourself becoming a wrong person.
Above all pray for God's direction beause it is
only He that can lead you to the perfect
person.
.

So werez d joke lyk d one that makes peeps smile at least

In WAEC examination, Akpos was
asked to complete the
following
1. He who fights and run away?
Akpos: E don surrender be dat
na, na fear catch am 2.
A rolling stone? Akpos: No fit just
dey roll, na person push am.
3. He who lives in a glass house?
Akpos: Na rich politician e go be.
4. A stitch in time? Akpos: Dey
prevent further tear tear.
5. Birds of the same feather?
Akpos: Na the same mama born
them.
6. One good turn? Akpos: Na
correct power steering fit do am.
7. A bird in hand? Akpos: Wetin e
wan be again if nobe barbeque.
Dem plenty
for chicken republic.
8. Half bread is better than?
Akpos: Puff puff, buns or garri
without sugar.
9. A journey of a thousand miles?
Akpos: Na d person wahala be
dat na, Why e no enter car
or aeroplane jeje?
10. He who laughs last?
Akpos: Get brain problem. Make
dem examine am, becos
na begining of madness be dat.
11. A patient dog?
Akpos: Na hunger go kill am.
12. All work and no play?
Akpors: Na bank job be dat bros.
13. Once beaten?
Akpos: Na revenge go follow be
dat.
14. A fool at forty? Akpos: U
never see Naija own, our own
starts @ 50.

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up. ♥

Remember love is the richest of all treasures. Without it there is nothing; and with it there is everything. Love never perishes , even if the bones of a lover are ground fine like powder. Just as the perfume of sandalwood does not leave it, even if it is completely ground up, similarly the basis of love is the soul, and it is indestructible and therefore eternal. Beauty can be destroyed , but not love. ♥

we dey wait ur death sef

ebamma: To all my enemies when i die
1)Na god go punish u if i die u no come chop rice for my burial
2)Na god go punish u if u waka no come my burial with spoon for pocket were u go use chop item 6
3)na god go punish u if when u see my relatives at my burial, u no shed crocodile tears and claim that u missed a rare gem
4)na god go punish u if u waka no come my burial without breakfast becos u know say rice and stew go dey very plenty for my burial occasion
5)na god go punish u if u no come overfeed yourself for my burial food
6)na god go punish u if u no drink till u are drunk for my burial beer
7)na god go punish u if u no even come my burial sef

the walking dead in between ur legs

please
who is wedding who?
dis one no be wife na grandma

thanks for the tips

mawuqueyan: Thank Ɣ☺ΰ...