"He will hurt you" : Okay thats true, happens in relationships. Its a give and take and forgive.

"He will really really damage you" : Wait a minute, stop right there! Is she really advising her fellow women to accept this type of marital abuse . Well well, her age of marriage (17yrs) says it all.

Its hilarious that the male folks in this thread are showering praises on her as-per THE GOOD OBEDIENT WIFE and advising other women to listen to her advise. If some men had their way, they will bring down the marital age to 12yrs i swear.
Finally Sweetheart, since you have the courage to brag that you can tolerate marital abuse and you are advising other women to accept it, pls kindly drop your husband's number so i can help damage you the more.

cococandy:
So those are the only options?

1) Fight the so called mistress
2) suffer in silence
3) help the mistress into the home

Do you have an option that holds the man accountable to her? An option that includes respect for her and respect for the vows he made to her? An option that includes not reducing herself?

Ok madam pls educate me. Table your own suggestions to her...I'm all ears
I also noticed your location from your profile says you are in USA. Madam i hope you are not about to compare the married women in the states to that of naija. They have a lot more leverage over their marital affairs in the states than in naija. Spousal support laws, child support laws etc.... So many many leverages for women over there, so husbands over there dere not messup. And if he messes up, the lady can easily file a divorce knowing the law will back her up. In naija, ITS NOT THE SAME. Where do you expect this woman to go with her 4 children??

Ok like I said Im all ears to own suggestions.

..

revolt:
is tht how ur mum n dad were or u ate..became fat, got dumped for a slim chic , you joined FIN, became a useless feminist?!!!!

For the record, im a slim beautiful mistress/and single mother chopping the cash of a rich married man. And yes i am proud to say that i am mistress. You can go and hug a transformer if you like.

cococandy:
So she should help the man bring in another woman into her own house? In an attempt to deal with the man?

What does marriage mean to you guys?

Whether you like to hear the cold hearted truth or not, let me spell it out. For her husband to threaten her several times over and over again, not once or twice but repeatedly. He is already having an affair outside. Its up to her to decide how she would handle the outside mistress affair. She can choose the long suffering way of endurance and torture by praying for him to change in the church or take the less stressful way. Its up to her to decide.

Btw most mistresses dont like the idea of dating a married man, they are just there for the money, dats all. If you kindly bring them to the table, you would be surprised how helpful they can be. If you like go and start fighting the mistress, you will loose.

Are you that desperate to get married? You are clearly running into a danger zone with your eyes wide open. I am already forseeing a frightened wife in 3 years time in her marital home. Any little challenge or argument, he will send you packing. Its only you that can advice yourself properly, not me.

Anigreat:






I don't care!


It will be difficult for me to love my mum less and love my wife more. Not that I'm not going to love my wife, but mum comes first.


I'm so sorry future wife, but i can't help. That woman has pass through hell for me, sacrificing for me, so my days be better than hers. Mum love me so much, so why should i betray her because of one woman call wife?

If you dont like it that way, pack your useless things and get out of my house.

Ghen! ghen!
All the men don come out with their guns ooo. They are saying it point blank, dem mama comes first. Anyother woman na attachment oo to the existing order. Oya if you no accept, better arrange ur kaya commot. Or simply suck it all up and accept the status quo. Just pray you have a motherinlaw that isnt dominating.

But to be sincere, can you love someone else more than your mother? Hmm, i dont think so. Thats why some women are making the concious decision of becoming a single mother these days, you face less wahala and headache.

donstan18:


@Embolden.

That's not a layman understanding, but a baby mama's understanding.

Only a bitter woman who got pregnant out of wedlock will say that children aren't blessing. Only them.

A married woman can't say such.

I don't know why some people feel single mothers are suffering, many single mothers are actually happy they are single when they see what married women go through on daily basis. The financially stable ones prefer to even remain single.

Infact there are a lot of aka 'married women' who are silently living like single mothers in their marital homes, lets be honest here. They basically take care of the kids alone and do the house chores plus school runs alone. Ontop of that, they now have to deal with a master that dictates and gives orders on how the home should be run. And you have to sacrifice your body for sex whether you like it or not cos its your marital obligation.

In naija, married mums and single mums are almost the same abegii. Naija women can cover up a lot ehhhh to protect their marriage, and its understandable. Only a few will open up and tell you the truth.

Here is my suggestion... Your husband has succeeded in making you feel so insecure in both of you's home. Since he keeps threatening you with a second wife, let him go ahead and get the so called second wife na. Then team up with the second wife and you guys deal with him mercilessly. If possible sef, arrange the chic for him undercover. If your husband has money, hehe you guys know how to handle that part

I have to point this out though....Having four kids under six years is one mistake you made. As a woman, your life should not only be centered around marriage and children. You practically turned yourself into a chicken puffing out babies and ofcourse that accounts for the stress you are going through. Your husband feels you dont have any bargaining chip anymore so you are basically at his mercy footstool. Well the mistake has been made, and its time to chat a way forward.