₦airaland Forum

Zikojukwu:
I have never seen such desperation. What if Yorubas were the ones who have not ruled Nigeria for almost 50years? I mean I respect Igbos for their lion's heart, their courage, doggedness, understanding and open-mindedness. I mean they overlooked all this and forged ahead even though they have all it takes to rule Nigeria. I am particular shocked by the fake videos, fake prophecies, fake photos, fake news coming from southwest all in attempts to discredit Igbos who don't see power as the only means of survival in Nigeria. I mean I am dumbfounded. May God who sees our inner hearts help the sincerity in ONE NIGERIA.

TiglathPILESER:
Just take a look at the rug in the second picture how messed up it is with stains...a presidential residence for crying out loud...smh

NwaNimo1:
Jagaban no be moslem again?

Herbworks:
There’s always that ex that is very angry with you and if given the opportunity can poison you. The reason is that it’s written in their manipulation book that when you give a man pussy the way he has never been fvcked he will do anything for her. So she comes to your house at every slight opportunity and wows your mind with amazing sex styles. But despite all these she discovers that she couldn’t take you. She kept asking herself how come you don’t pick her calls at first ring, how come you don’t call her like she’s holding your life, how come you don’t send her every money she demands, how come you don’t reply her messages like your life depends on it, and how come you still fvck other girls when she has given you the best sex to the best of her knowledge, how come you still dump her and refuse to put a ring on her finger despite everything she did to get you committed.

Whenever she sits she hates herself and doubt the manipulation tricks she has been taught. She gets depressed and sometimes she thought of committing suicide not cos she loves you but because she feels like a failure for not succeeding in making you give her your heart. How come her charms didn’t work on you? Why can’t you just keep your d*ck in your pant and stick with only her? In order to make herself feel better she starts spreading bad things about you, she starts telling people that you’re a misogynist/narcissist/ woman beater etc which was why she dumped your sorry ass even though deep down she knew you left her cos you got tired of fvcking her overslacked pvssy.

She starts spreading hates against guys like you; fair guys are too proud, dark cute guys are broke and too lazy, guys with big dvcks are broke cos they think a woman should worship them cos of their dvck size. But deep down they know that the reason for their hate is cause they couldn’t tame you, they just couldn’t make you commit, they just couldn’t control you and make you hate your friends and loved ones cos of them.

They can go as far as contacting your new girls and telling them nasty things about you but the more hate they spread, the more the girls draw closer cos an average girl is stubborn and always like to experience things themselves before they believe.

They wonder what makes you different from the other guys that are drooling over them, they wonder while you don’t spend on them like the other guys, they wonder why you still prefer to hangout with your guys than stay at home with her watching Netflix and fvcking in every position humanly possible.

ITS A GAME. The game is to make you commit to them while your game is to get as much pvssy without committing and the one who gives up easily loses. Despite her spreading hate about you, there’s always something she avoids which is to be in a room alone with a player like you cos she knows you have the key to her pvssy. A player always knows what to say or do to get into her pant.

The biggest enemy of a woman from 26 and above is a player. They avoid players like a plague cos they know that they can’t tame him or manipulate him to commit. So in their prime, they run after the players cos they always look presentable, lively, naughty, confident, and adventurous but when they’re done whoring around they avoid a player cos they know too well that no matter what they do, say, or the sex styles they present they can never make him commit.

So when they can’t get a player, they settle for the religious brothers that believes God will settle them with a good wife cos they’ve lived their lives well. So they noticed the beautiful girls that have been played by players and believe their God have answered their prayers. The religious brothers can’t seem to understand why a beautiful woman with all the amazing structures would agree to date them in the first place but what they don’t know is that a woman approaching menopause have less choice. That’s why pastors/alfas/Imams always marry beautiful women.

But what they don’t know is that they’re settling for the leftovers of players.

effort1:
You are fooling yourself. So, you expect the man to still remain single since then?

If you quit, 6 other women are ready to replace you.

The man has moved on and remarried. Your blessing Okoro is still single and hugging desperately to the past.

So, who is the loser? You better wake up.

TONYE001:
1. The article above has no point against correcting a child and sending children on appropriate-for-age errands; it is entirely against every form of DV, including a wife assaulting her maid.

2. I agree, family values must be revived and this was captured in the article.

3. YES, a husband should not request for food from his wife when they both return from work (both exhausted). The husband and the wife must help each other in preparing their meals. If the husband gets home before the wife, there's nothing wrong if he prepares the meal before his wife returns and vice versa. You see, when there is true love, understanding, and maturity, this, really, would not be seen as a big deal. It's just like a brother living with his sister who decides to fix dinner before his sister arrives ..

4. Do you also know that husbands request money from their wives? Why do you think it's only wives that request money from their husbands? Anyone can request money from anyone! A husband cannot be in cash all the time. Sometimes, unexpected expenses happen requiring extra funds or something. Couples don't necessarily have to wait until a request is made; couples should give freely, whether or not there is a need.

5. These are not necessarily rules. These are etiquettes of peaceful living. Anyone can work the above points out by applying clear reasoning and first principles.

6. "So many women that you see talking back at husband's calls their pastors daddy and and even see nothing wrong in submitting to his rules and regulations but turns to tiger in their matrimonial homes" - sadly, this is true.

7. The article is not just my opinion, sir. As you can see, it's a product of research. The article did not isolate the horrible economy and the society as the reasons of DV (they are very MAJOR reasons though). The article identified many other reasons.

Thank you.

TONYE001:
The death of Osinachi Nwachukuwu shocked many and provoked controversies, especially regarding her marriage (Kaduna, 2022). When I learned of her death, I was first sad that such a great singer was gone; later, as more details began to emerge, I soon began to wish that we got things right in our country, sooner than later. Notwithstanding the myriads of testimonies that have flooded the online space, the true cause of Osinachi's death can only be established by an autopsy (Das and Chowdhury, 2017). Until this is done, statements about her death cannot hold water.

There are speculations that Osinachi was a victim of repeated domestic violence from her husband (Sahara Reporters, 2022). Other sources report that she died of throat cancer and that as a matter of fact, she was on life support for approximately two months before her death (Tugbobo, 2022). While we continue to wait for the report of the definitive cause of her death, we all must agree that this incident has vigorously stirred discussions on domestic violence online and offline.

Domestic violence (DV), or intimate partner violence, is defined as "a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner" (United Nations, n.d.). DV also refers to injurious physical, sexual, and psychological behaviours occurring within the context of an intimate union or any other type of union (Sardinha et al., 2022).

The experience of DV has become common in recent times. To further demonstrate this, I shall briefly take you through some very disturbing statistics. Studies show that globally, about 1 in 3 women and 1 in 10 men 18 years of age or older experience DV (Huecker, King, and Jordan, 2022). According to Sardinha et al. (2022), worldwide, about 38-50% of murders of women are committed by their intimate partners causing significant economic and social impacts for individuals and the government. The prevalence of DV against men is pegged at 3.4% to 20.3% (Kolbe and Büttner, 2020). A study reported that out of every three (3) deaths due to DV, two (2) are women (Benebo, Schumann, and Vaezghasemi, 2018). In their research on the prevalence and determinants of DV in an urban community in the southwest, Oluwole and Onwumelu (2020) recruited 400 women aged 18-73 years. They reported a lifetime prevalence of DV of 73.3% within their study population. Sadly, DV does not seem to be declining. Over the years, trends show a steady increase in the rates of DV. In Germany, 100,766 women were victims of DV in 2013, but in 2018, over 114,000 women became DV victims (Armstrong, 2019).

If we took a survey now, a good chunk of us may attest to have been victims or witnesses of DV. I recall many years ago when I was a secondary school student. We had a neighbour who invited us to his wedding ceremony. I recall vividly how the MC had asked him at the reception how he would react if his wife failed to prepare food for him for whatever reason. He smiled and answered boldly that he would "call her honey." To paraphrase his response, I think he meant that he would understand and appreciate the challenge that may have prevented her from preparing his meal and perhaps support her. A few days after returning from their honeymoon, this couple broke into a fight that left both of them badly injured. I still wonder what may have caused that fight. About a year ago, a patient presented to our emergency ward with burns. As we resuscitated and clerked her, she told us she got the injury while preparing breakfast for her children. The truth, however, was exposed when her relatives met her husband in the ward. We soon got to know that her husband had been physically assaulting her for years.

In the past few days, I have read a series of arguments on DV. Some quarters believe that the media is unnecessarily being too loud about violence against women and deliberately underreporting violence against men. Other people argue that women who are victims of DV must have brought it upon themselves. One writer on this forum wrote that "a man can never beat a good wife." In other words, this writer implied that all female victims of DV are bad (disrespectful, abusive, disloyal, wicked, etc). But are these claims true? The statistics above objectively prove that violence against women occurs at proportions far above violence against men worldwide. This does not deny that there are men that are victims of DV, but If we continue to separate DV along gender lines, we may never get to its roots. I wonder why DV is now discussed in two contexts: against women and men. Do we imply that the effects of domestic violence against men and women differ? Or does the law prescribe different punishments for men and women who kill their spouses?

Saying that only "bad wives" are victims of DV is shocking. We tend to sit in the comforts of our homes and assert skewed opinions that are nothing but baseless. Most of what we know is limited to what the media reports but we manage to alter the narratives of events in ways that suit our beliefs. For example, because some of us have concluded in our hearts that only "bad wives" are victims of domestic violence, whenever we come across stories of women that are physically assaulted by their husbands, we quickly assume that they must have done something terribly bad to warrant her husband's actions. We do not query the husband, and we are hardly bothered that the man may have infringed on the rights of the woman. We do not bother that this may have been a case of attempted murder, and if nothing is done, the husband may eventually kill her, or another victim. Our entire focus falls on the woman, and we begin to probe the "evil" she must have committed. I ask, aside from a direct and immediate threat to life where alternative actions are impossible, is there any other acceptable reason to assault a human or to commit murder? Assuming a wife abuses her husband, does this qualify as a reason to physically attack her and inflict varying degrees of life-threatening injuries on her? If this were so, would the wife be also permitted to assault and kill her husband if he abuses or disrespects her? If we continue like this, our society would become a replica of the animal kingdom where actions are directed by primitive instincts rather than objective reasoning.

Why do spouses physically assault themselves? Why would a husband hit his wife? Why would a wife attack her husband? To get to the roots of domestic violence, we must trace the causes. Economic problems, husband's drug/alcohol abuse, husband's family interference, husband's suspicion, religious and cultural misunderstandings, husband's remarriage, and children from previous husband's or wife's marriages were some identified causes of DV (Rahnavardi et al., 2017). In a local study (Igbolekwu et al., 2021), 82.3% of respondents believe that the major cause of DV against women is the economic dependence of women (or wives) on men (or their husbands), 52.3% agree that communities tolerate and encourage some abusive behaviours, and as much as 61.5% of the respondents think that some religious and traditional beliefs support DV.

A BBC report (Obidiebube, 2018) made a shocking revelation: Section 55 of the Penal Code (applicable in Northern Nigeria) allows a husband to physically assault his wife as far as it does not cause serious bodily harm. What is more shocking is the Law's definition of bodily harm. The Law defined bodily harm as harm severe enough to warrant hospital admission for a minimum of 21 days! Ironically, we also have a Violence Against Persons Prohibition Act for 2015 that stands against different kinds of violence. This disparity in the law further makes it difficult to secure justice for victims of DV.

Some of our cultural practices support DV. Historically, in the Igbo culture, for instance, the dominant role of women "is to make pure wives for their honourable husbands. In marriage, they are expected to be submissive to their husbands, do housework and domestic chores, farming, and bear children" (Egbo, 2021). But are these roles still exclusively for women today? [b]Times have changed and the economy has become complex. These days, to maintain a home, both husband and wife have to earn some money. If a husband and his wife leave for work at 8 am and return at 5 pm, would the husband be fair if he expects his exhausted wife to hurry to the kitchen and begin to pound akpu for dinner because it is exclusively her responsibility according to the African tradition? In some instances, if the wife fails to do this, she is considered disrespectful and not submissive and she may be beaten. Some of us are hypocritical without knowing it. Civilization and technology have happened to the original African tradition but instead of accepting and living with all the good changes that come with these, we tend to be selective. We accept changes that suit our purpose and favour us and deny changes that may favour others. For example, we accepted Western education because it promises to improve our lives. We accepted computers and other technological devices because they ease our lives. But some of us refuse to accept that role of the African woman in our society has greatly changed. With the advancement of knowledge, we now know that men and women are both humans and no one is above the other. They both have equal rights and equal responsibilities. Cooking, washing dishes, bathing children, and sweeping are not exclusive roles of women just like going out to look for money is not an exclusive role of a man. [/b]

I believe the first step to stopping domestic violence is redefining marriage. Some of us have lines in our heads separating the responsibilities of a husband and a wife. In real sense, such distinct lines do not exist. Couples ideally should live in a fluid environment where things flow naturally. The idea of marriage is to have two people come together, support each other, and improve their lives while mutually enjoying their days. Marriage is a way of life and not an obligation where responsibilities are shared and delegated. In marriage, any capable hand can meet any responsibility without waiting for anyone. A husband should be able to bathe his children, sweep the house, do the laundry, and cook breakfast whether or not his wife is at home. A wife should be able to do these things, and provide/contribute money for upkeep on impulse.

By God's design, true love should be the fuel that should power the home. This is lost when people marry for the wrong reasons. If pure, undiluted love is lacking in any home, domestic violence is likely. If you love your wife as you love yourself, you would never raise a finger to hit her, unless you can hit yourself. If you love your wife absolutely, you would not have unrealistic expectations of her. If you love your wife as you love yourself, forgiveness, moving on, and not archiving faults should be natural habits.

Dear Parents, it is high time we began to raise our children the right way. If we train them well and demonstrate good examples before them, they would not grow to become monsters to their spouses. Dear fathers, if you hit your wife in front of your children, expect the same from them when they grow. If you sit in the parlour, watching TV all day without helping your wife in the kitchen, expect your son to be a bad husband when he grows up.

The government has a lot of roles to play in combating domestic violence. Strong laws must be made and the government must have the willpower to enforce these laws.

As private citizens, we also have roles to play if we must kick out DV. The mind-your-business culture is not African. Here, we do not mind our businesses! If you suspect your neighbour is a victim of DV, act immediately and report to the authorities whether or not the neighbour confides in you.

Our religious leaders must modify their teachings and encourage their members to take decisive steps if being abused. Members should be encouraged to separate from their spouses and they should be supported. Our religious leaders must be willing to get the authorities involved if they suspect that their member(s) is/are victim(s) of DV.

As I conclude, I would like to leave this last note to victims of DV. Please, prioritize your life over anything. Your life is paramount. Separate yourself from your spouse now that you still can. Beyond this, you should also report him/her to the authorities and ensure he/she is prosecuted and put behind bars for a long time. If you take these actions, you would have successfully protected future victims of your spouse.

Tonye001.

Malory:
I have seen a Yoruba man with an Igbo name before

Jokerman:
The man is crazy... and clowns like him will carry big bibles every Sunday to church with suit appearing as Saint.

BRATISLAVA:
But which of them is more deadly?

SarkinYarki:
I can see the president has mobilised his entire cabinet to scatter Jagaban chances

bennybuhari:
exactly my thought. They have scattered South West votes for him

Jaqenhghar:
The man is a niggerland redpill hero. According to Niggerland redpillers this is how you should treat your woman.
Beat her ( Kill her if possible)
Let her make money for you and take evrything she makes without giving her a dime
Closely monitor her movements because according to them all women are olosho.

TYCO77:
[color=#000099][/color]

There are elements of falsehood in this write up, as at the time Atiku was in the services of Nigerian Customs Service no vehicle pays duty up to fifty thousand Naira. Atiku's face off with his former principal OBJ was due to the OBJ 3rd term agenda which he objected to.

Dorwadora:
My work is just to take order, document sales and expenses. Literally I manage the business money.... I've only been there for 6 days and the man Is the owner. @the bolded.... I'll take my chances till they finish fasting.... He's fasting now and quite a devotee so I don't think anything will happen now but I'm on a look out for another job

ajl:
Should she even be the one cooking for him? What Nigerians accept just because of money? You have to learn to start putting your feet on the ground from day one. Look at the superbly successful people in the world, especially women, they don't fit girls that at one point in their past was forced to cooking for a boss just because she is afraid to lose a job. Be a strong and purposeful woman from this stage of your life. Your divine self is putting you to test and sadly you are about failing. Do you know if a bigger and better job is waiting for you elsewhere?

Dorwadora:
Good evening my Romancelanders and Nairalanders. I hope y'all been having a good day?

Here's the thing.

Due to the ASUU strike I decided to get a job around my school instead of going home because Ekiti has become home for me. I resumed work on Monday, that's 6 days ago. I and my boss have not been having any issue. He gives the command and I get the work done but recently he has been giving me his home key to go and cook for him. The first time I was surprised because giving your house key to someone you barely know is a bit weird to me but since Monday that I've started the work, I've been to his house 4 times cooking stew or vegetable soup. I'm there right now frying meats.

I am seriously not comfortable with the arrangement but I can't say no because I really need to keep the job and save up. He's married but his wife is not staying with him and cooking and cleaning is the job of a wife not a staff.

Please house how can I stop this whole charade without losing the job?

9jahotblog:
Distinguish Senator Nurudeen Ademola Adeleke observe the first Jumat prayer in the holy month of Ramadan at Oja Timi Central Mosque, Ede. May all make it as an act of ibadah.

Happy First Jum'at in month of Ramadan from Sheikh, Ustaz, DR. Alhaji Nurudeen Ademola Adeleke.
May Almighty Allah accept our Ibadah and forgive us our sins.... YAA SHEUUUU.

rickpat:
northern Christians are circumcised...it's Muslims that don't circumcise...

Sixfiguresmart:
Met this girl while running my degree course in UBC. She approached me, dropped her number in my pocket. All I wanted to do was get my deg and a career cos parents done spent too much already. She was going for my body but I snubbed her. She was too young for me. I met her half sister (Irish-mexican) who is older. The blue eyes, the hair, height and teeth were mesmerising. I fell one time.

She was all over me like she found a priceless trophy. I thought we could be married but she didn't want any kids yet. She wants bikini body rather. We dated for 9 months. She treated me like a toy. I saw that marriage would be harder for me. She was so scared of losing me. The insecurity made my life miserable. I had to inform her wherever I went. Take pictures and send. Be on video calls like every time I was away. She knew all my friends and the people who walked past me on the streets. I had to be on the fone all my life to prove that someone else wasn't hitting on me.

I couldn't admire any lady or stare. I felt like a prisoner being watched constantly. I had to mention that she was my girl to every girl around me. She put a ring on my finger. I have her pictures on my walls. She had to be my wallpaper on my laptop and the theme on my fone. I had to save her number as "My baby". She had to check my wardrobe and ensured that she bought all items in it. She checks my pockets for numbers. Picks me up from the gym.

She was controlling and she taught me how to never be controlled by a woman again. She was more like a mother than my girl. She cries every time I try to talk about this issue. Saying that she wanted me to be safe. That she was scared to lose me. I did everything to prove to her that she was the only one but I tried too hard. Honestly, there was no one else. She was persnickety over nothing.

Finally, she attended a family funeral in Alberta and stayed for 6 days. Longest time away from me. During this time, her friend called me asking of her since she couldn't reach her. Then, she told me that she was coming to the house. I obliged innocently. As it wasn't the first time. When she arrived, she stayed the night since the weather was very bad. We only talked and the only nice thing I said to her was complemented her hair.

Nothing happened. As a matter of fact, my girl permitted her to stay the night and asked for her to sleep in the other room. My girl and I had a lovely conversation till I went to bed. She usually talked till I felt asleep.and watched me sleeping. When I sleep, I die. I didn'thear the fone ringing and didn't see her messages. Now, when she returned 2 days later, she acccused me of cheating with her girlfriend. Asking me if she was my type. So, anyways. We fought over this, for 3 months she nagged and uttered irreversible damage into my life. Still, I apologized and begged and did everything to win her over.

I felt heart-broken. We broke up. She moved out. 2 weeks into break up I went to her, begged and called but met silence. I gave up. 3rd week, she called and demanded that I could have kept on fighting and begging into the 3rd week if I truly loved her. I apologized thinking that we could get back. She asked for all my passwords, I gave her to win her over. She went through them found nothing. Cried on my shoulders and still went back to feeling broken and uttering vile things.

A month after break up, I knew it was over. I couldn't end up feeling miserable for the rest of my life. I moved on. Never been able to fix a relationship since then.

This is how broken women break good men and, then call men so many names. Many bad men in town are products of broken women. Today, I just can't stand any woman who is a control freak. Many men are battered. We also cry, but we don't tear. We also have emotions, but we die in silence. Many men home and abroad are controlled but they can't utter their pains

VictorUSA:
Another post by a gullible putin puppet

NnamdiAzikiwe:
Ashawo wey turn pablo

Investigative:
Onye army employed by uzodinma to infiltrate ipob after he failed he gather some boys and start wrecking havoc
Lastly he was captured by soldiers
Now asari
Soon
Amotekun will capture him