dicefrost:


Did you tell him that you were a virgin before? Or did you refuse sex on the pretext that you are one? Because in my experience guys don't really care about virginity, infact they don't expect you to be.

MissWrite:
Dear Op, I'm really sorry about the ordeal you suffered as a child. What's even sadder is that you're just one out of a lot too many. But you shouldn't disclose things about yourself on Nairaland that you may still be very sensitive about (even if it is anonymously), because NL is full of immature, insensitive, malicious brats that spew thoughtless comments that may still be able to hurt your fragile self-esteem (a fall-out of abuse). When you do open up about things like these, you should be able to trust the person. In the very least, trust that they won't trivialize the issue or insinuate that you are somehow to blame.

It is understandable that this would plague you now when you're about to tie the knot. We believe that women are to be offered up to men pure and holy. That's why we use words like 'defiled' when sh*t like this happens. You should get that out of your head. Don't think that this diminishes your worth in any way. Life happened. The ugly parts of it. Don't let it define you. If you do decide to tell him (and I'm not saying you should), make sure you know that you are not making an apology.

What I would advise is: talk to a professional, a therapist, who would help you make peace with this and put it firmly behind you. If full disclosure is part of their expert recommendation, then do it. They'll be able to give you better direction. And I say, therapist and not pastor, because (while there are some sound pastors), a lot of them can't see past their personal biases. Whatever you do, I wish you the best, hun.

Amarabae:
Why do you want to disclose it?
Why not forget the past and move on.
Why do you want the past to haunt the present, thereby endangearing the future.

Ethelbrown:


if I may ask, what do you intend to tell him before now?

Amarabae:
ok.after that incidence,did you had any sex again?

Amarabae:
Why do you want to disclose it?
Why not forget the past and move on.
Why do you want the past to haunt the present, thereby endangearing the future.

Owoado:
Please how did you (as a kid) get inside Adesuper hotel? Tell us the full story

icedfire:
Confusedsoul, I will try so hard to refrain from blaming you because I don't expect you to pay money into a personal account. A true caller check on the numbers revealed that the guys know about true caller an they had one of the numbers saved as school admin and the other saved as Dr Mrs Adekala.
1) Do you still have the bank details of the account you sent money to? (in this age of bvn, his real name will be there hopefully) .
2) I think there is a way to report websites that are scams to google ( the experts will come and explain better)

Lalasticlala

bcashy:



Oga why u no read n understand before u go comment now?

steppin:
Maga.

icedfire:
Confusedsoul, I will try so hard to refrain from blaming you because I don't expect you to pay money into a personal account. A true caller check on the numbers revealed that the guys know about true caller an they had one of the numbers saved as school admin and the other saved as Dr Mrs Adekala.
1) Do you still have the bank details of the account you sent money to? (in this age of bvn, his real name will be there hopefully) .
2) I think there is a way to report websites that are scams to google ( the experts will come and explain better)

Lalasticlala

DrChukzy:
Where is his bank acct name?

Dexema:
The best option is for you to struggle to get tertiary education albeit a good one, I have had first hand experience of what yahoo does to people’s psyche and how it fades away.

As for your brothers, keep praying for them and hoping they turn around (also important that they tie some legal business down with the money)

As for receiving money from them or not, you can start reducing it with the help of your first born, say restrict it to rent only while you guys hustle the foodstuff etc. Till you guys are able to do without them, but for now you have got to " eat that frog".

Confusedsoul:



Hmmmm!! The money from him is just little and I pray they will never be arrested cuz what they are doing isn't intentional..

Babamide:
No mention of any help from your eldest brother who is gainfully employed. I'll advice u keep collecting and use the funds to setup yourself and your mum. Nothing lasts forever, not even yahoo yahoo. Help your brothers make good use of the money they see now. One day u might need to bail them out.

keepingmum:
You are 21. Find something meaningful to do and support your mum. Stop critiquing ur mum for accepting help knowing her options are limited.
Your mum isn't responsible for your older brothers actions.
At 21, what have you done to assist your brothers? Why bring such sensitive family issues to SM?