DestinyGlory:


Yeah, I still insist that you sound ENTITLED. If you can’t self-reflect on the same flaw that almost everyone on this post has pointed out, then that’s an even bigger problem. Someone contributing 100k out of 450k may be stingy (if they actually have the capacity) but not totally irresponsible. The only reason I compared myself to you is because I’ve been through a similar situation so I understand the frustration.

Well I can insist you are a piece of shit too. By the way what crime did your mother commit that sent her behind bars?

DestinyGlory:


I see. When most people complain they only want to vent and not necessarily seek or accept solutions to their problems - so they continue to recycle seasons of pain. Being rude to everyone that doesn’t agree with your ideology is not going to solve your problem. Hopefully you got the relief you were seeking by “airing out your mind”.

Really i am rude? You called me ENTITLED.
Should i take your low-minded insult as a commendation?
Maybe you should learn how to read, comprehend and use wisdom in your discussions. And also stop comparing yourself to others. That silly statement made me stop reading your epistle. My regards to your mum, hope she's stronger now. I have been in a police cell for 24hrs, that experience is not savory at all.

DestinyGlory:
Your story made me smile cause my elder sister is even worse than this lol. Don’t discount her efforts, it’s better than nothing. In your case, I’ll say focus on yourself and ask God to empower you to do more. God has a way of enriching those with a heart to give.

In my case, my mom is a single mother and she sent my elder sister to UK single handedly - Undergrad, masters and Law school. By the time it was my turn, things had dried up so I went to Uni in Nigeria. While I was still in Uni, my mom went to prison. My sis will call to track progress on the case but never sent a dime or travel to Ibadan to see us (She was in Lagos working then). But the difference between me and you was that I wasn’t entitled, I positioned my mind on God not man; and somehow I never lacked and my fees got paid till I finished.

When I wanted to come to Lagos to start working after Uni, same sister said she can’t accommodate me and ghosted me lol. But somehow God provided. That period was a blur - traveling to see my mom in prison and sending money, supporting my younger sister with stipends, dragging my absentee father to pay her fees now cause mom is no longer capable. By this time I was still fighting and getting angry like you but I learnt to removed my mind from my sis because God was faithful. When she sent 5k, 10k - I appreciated her.

Faster forward to a few years, I got transfer to the US even though I didn’t get to school abroad. So I can now I send dollars back home which translates to more. My sis is still stingy and I noticed she hasn’t really grown. Still sends same 10k every now & then and we continue to encourage her. She claims broke but uses nice hair and bags. I still relate with her normally but not close.

Stop fixing your mind on humans, you will just darken your heart with bitterness for nothing. Investing in children is like oja okunkun (night market). What you give may not be what you get or you get where you didn’t expect. Besides, you don’t know what she’s going through on her end. Look to God and do what you can for your parents and siblings.

Because someone chooses to air out his mind online, you begin to judge the person that he is entitled? Did you read the piece, did i beg anybody for money, or what the fúck is your problem?

xevove2061:


Lmao! Go and take care of your parents they need you more than you need nairaland.

At least i have parents. And I love them.

Sapeleomi:

____---------------------------------------------------------
Hi bro,
First and foremost. You have to clarify what your sister earns and her expenses.
She has only been in Canada for 60 months and you feel she is okay financially. She may not be. She may be struggling financially, emotionally and trying to settle down to clear debts.
2, Secondly, l assume she would assist you and the family if she is stable herself.
You alluded that she sends money but the issue is that it is too small. She does not owe you and your parents anything!!! Africans feel entitled and see relationship with children or their siblings as transactional. Address poverty and plan your life and stop relying on others.. It will lead to dissapointment. Is clear that you have never lived on your own, pay rent and bills and also suddenly have to set aside money for others during an emergency.
3, As a young person, take life insurance
to protect yourself, that's what many of our parents should do to avoid medical health issues and large bills in older years...Plan your retirement..
4, God forbid, if your sister dies suddenly or loses her job, you will survive and move on with your life.
5, if you want people to do more for you in life. Be grateful for the little and you get more in return. A positive and agreeable attitude gets you more favours in life.
6, l personally feel with your attitude, high demand and unhappiness. You will do your sister a lot of good/favour. If you indeed distance yourself from her.
7, The question you must ask yourself what value do you add to her life? When did you call her and ask about her welfare, her relationship, how she feels? Her relationship, children and her state of mind? You think she does a robber or slave sent to Canada to make your life easy!! THINK RIGHT BEFORE YOU RUIN AND LOOSE YOUR BECAUSE OF SELFISHNESS. I LIKE TO THINK YOUR PARENTS KNOW THEIR DAUGHTER BETTER THAN YOU.
8, If you continue with your entitlement mentality, keeping grudge over money and imposing HIGH expectations on others without understanding. Then you ran the risk of loosing your sister for life. Asking for help or support from others is optionally not mandatory.
9.Before you judge her ask yourself what kind of support does she have in the event of her loosing her job or failing ill? You have a support network in naija and can bounce back by getting support from the community. Abroad people rarely borrow money to anybody or house others when they are homeless.
10.Be grateful for what you have and improve your communication and relationship and stop making unreasonable demand or expectation... 5 years in Canada and you expect wonders unless you want to do Yahoo.

You all get it wrong. I am not bitching about she not assisting me or my younger ones. I simply was expressing how a woman will feel less obliged to the parents that made sacrifices for her. That's the story here.

Gloriagee:
Shes not paying the fees from his write up. I personally dont expect anything from people. Some people dont even get to say thank you after a ' huge' favour. Do i dwell on it? A little but more importantly we meuve!

Don't mind the lowlife please. Says he has a house and house like who gives a fck. He didn't even comprehend my story before going on his tirade like i am the reason behind his problems.
xevove2061or whatever you call yourself, i will bring issues i want to Nairaland anonymously. If that hurts you, your choice to harm yourself. I won't let foolish comments like his spoil the wonderful advise many have given me here.

[quote author=xevove2061 post=122218101][/quote]

Na this kind baßtard go watch him loved ones die then spend big on burial. Greedy evil scum. To hell with you.

Klass99:


Smiles......and you think OP's parents didn't train his sister well or in the best way as you put it?

OP comes across as a sensible and responsible person, so I am sure his parents trained them well.

Thanks. Even if you don't know me you're right. Parents struggled to give all of us tertiary education. As they could not complete that of our last, my following younger one and i joined forces and supported her.

With many comments i am reading here, it is obvious many Nigerians will rather watch their sick parents in pains than give them a dime because it is not their duty. Tufiakwa

caandi:
[color=#006600][/color] pls don’t mind people saying you’re doing better
I had an aunt that went to Europe by road
Under one year plus she was at refugees camp abi na ado they call it, she was sending upto 450k home for yearly rent minus monthly allowance
As years went by she flew four of her siblings abroad
Some in Germany, uk and is precisely
She alleviated her family out of poverty
How can you be stingy to your own blood?
Don’t mind people
Some people travel overseas and under 1year and two they start sending home cars for business
Abeg your sis is stingy
But I wonder how come you guys ain’t notice this behavior in her before she left?

We did but small. Anyways,that abroad na either me or my 2 younger siblings go go. She can stick her abroad up her ass. Why it's bothering us is because our parents need us at this trying time.

When DSS came, he fles and was caught in a hotel in Ejigbo.
Why do they always run?

ChybuzzDD:


Bros, the bolded, which thou hath written with thy own hands, also applyeth to thy sister.
Don't you think so?

Yeah it does. You have a point.

Trojan8:


This is the kind of attitude that your elder sister had to put up with, no wonder she decided to distance herself from you.


You are a sad human.

So you expect to talk shit to me here and i will take it because i chose to create a topic of Nairaland? Perhaps you have comprehension issues. Read the topic again. I am the one distancing myself from her.

Trojan8:


Of course, never expected anything better from you.

I am supposed to be bothered about curses from a non-entity

Neither am i to be bothered about this maggots that spill from an immorally demented mouth.

Ferdinandu:
Till Nigerians learns the era of Children been retirement plan is gone. I am saying it for my Generation just coming up, let your retirement plan be as paramount as training your children. Instead of putting them in 200k school, put them in 100k school and push the rest to your retirement plan. If you can find way reduce your current house rent, try nib at some of your current expenses and push the bits to your retirement plan to avoid this kind of story. Most children can hardly yet afford their basic needs before the load of aged parents comes in leading to this kind of scenario. The more self centered of the children will just lock up, the one that have a larger heart will carry all the load which is more likely going to hurt his own plan for his future. CHILDREN ARE NO LONGER RETIREMENT PLAN. Old age without retirement plan is a long odious journey. PLAN NOW

Y'all sounding like Nigeria is a balanced country where you can plan well. Here companies sack anyhow, companies owe you, businesses fail, people get defrauded, people have health issues that take their finances. That is why people are willing to do anything to get a government job that will give them security. How many government jobs are available?
See don't blame people. You never know what shoes they are in. And if you were, you may not be able to do better. If you can help, help. If you can't help yourself alone. But don't go to church claiming to be a christian when you believe giving charity is promoting entitlement mentality.

xevove2061:


All i can see here is an entitled prick of a person. What makes you think she has a good job as you say she does. What also makes you think that she is paid well, as you think? Did you ask how she pays her bills and who she has to run to when she has issues of her own? Why do you think its okay to come here complainimg of your elder sister who is atleast sending something back for your feeding. Habe you seen her payslip to know how much she earns monthly? Do you know if the money she makes monthly is enough for her own monthly expenses? You people in nigeria need to stop having this mentality that people abroad are fine. Very few are doing really fine. Some people make over 12m equivalent in naira and its not enough, if that person has their own family what shpuld they now do? Mind you, your bills do not wait for you abroad, you have to pay it and pay it on time otherwise you get interest on those bills. If she was not even bringing any money in the first place, then its a topic for another day. Please and please!, never feel entitled to another persons money and never assume that anyone owes you anything. Are you not a man? Should you not be making your own money despite all odds? You lots are sickening. I tell you!

A fool like you will not help your parents but will gladly contribute to their funeral expenses. You are a phelgm. Hope this foolish comment can be leaked to your loved ones so they know the nature of your heart.
If you call me entitled again, thunder will fire you. Did you read me saying i am the beneficiary?

Trojan8:
Every comments that does not support what you said about your sister is either ignored or attacked. You claim she consistently send 40k every month, how much do you give your parents every month?


She may be stingy but the way you feel entitled is making me laugh. No where in your post did you try to find out her living conditions there.

Are you a dumbass. Didn't you read my contribution. This is about helping the parents. May your children never help you as you support such ill.

Applekay9776:

You should be grateful that you have a sis who sends 40k per month,sometimes sends money for hospital bills,for me,I have a brother,who stay in US,he calls my dad once in a while to send him money,he hardly come home and when he do,my dad will be the one to pay for his flight back to US,cus if dad doesn’t give him money,nobody will rest in this house,over 30 years in the United States,nothing to show for it….my brother be grateful,manage the little she sends and take care of ur family…moreover if nah land dem Dey share,nah you go get more of the land…so smile and move on.

Lol. If i hustle well i make 40k in 2-3 days on uber. She can keep the money.

Moonraker007:
There are 2 sides to a story. Secondly, y'all are soul deep in your entitlement mentality.. Have you ever wondered how she is surviving especially bills.. Your entitlement mentality is eating you deep. SHE OWES YOU NOTHING.. It is even shameful to use the word invest for your parents training her.. A parent trains their child out of true love not investing. You sound really pathetic and need to snap out of it before it ruins you. Let God bless you for all your commitments to the family not this trash talk. Do you think if you stop talking to her she will not continue to exist. WAKE UP MY FRIEND

Are you retarded? Did you see me asking to be a beneficiary. Please when your loved ones need help, extend your hand of wickedness.

RenegadeX:


Thank you o
See how op dey reason like bush man. That if his sister knows she won’t help then they could have channeled the money elsewhere. Very stupid reasoning. Did she bring herself to the world. If you use clear eye to have sex that you know the consequences is a baby. You should know that part of the consequences is to Chanel part of your resources to make the child grow into an adult. The child owes u nothing not even a thank

That means if your parents need money for health issues and you are the only child to help, na die they don die. Tufiakwa for useless pikin like you.

Fidelarinze9:

Bros Easy with this your entitlement mentality, do what you can and leave your sister to do what she can.

You are very stupid for saying i have an entitlement mentality.

akube34:
I wanted to talk like dis but bro, I Dey Canada too. 40k is less dan $100. Even if u no Dey do well, u fit send $150 for dem

Guy forget those people.
Bad people will never admit they are bad.
They will try and give you every reason to show they are not.

Gloriagee:
The thing is the Op is not rich for Gods sake. Hes hustling honestly. You might feel hes entitled but hes just venting. Most of his giving is sacrificial in nature and sometimes he might actually feel that his own sister is ENTITLED, cos who does she think is bearing the brunt of the financial expenses?

@ op, don't get worked up. Life happens everytime.

Thanks

Ashawoman82:
guy rest..I'm sure u are not a first born...look Las Las we no go kill ourselves, we must face our own life too...make God just bless us so we can Carter for everyone conveniently,e no easy...at some point I had to reduce the aid I render home so I could plan my life, cos I discovered that time is flying these days...dude, there are things that if u try to force, it could lead u to depression and u will definitely be overwhelmed.....don't be stagnant all in the name of trying to Carter for your parents, invest try and grow yourself so that u would be better and finally give your parents the best life has to offer....a young man paying more than 50% of his meagre income every month to.parent how do u except such person to expand and grow in future without savings or investments..

Did you read about an health issue involved? Please if your loved ones are ill, don't raise a finger. Seems tragic stories gives you orgasms. I was brought up with love and will reciprocate it. I didn't come here to complain to you. Just felt like airing my views. Thank you

donsheddy1:
That entitlement spirit you have right now is what will keep you where you are today. Plan your future today as children are never retirement plans. If Devil want to punish you, he gives you a worthless child and that investment you think you have in them is shattered in a split second.

Entitlement spirit by telling someone to take care of the parents? Did you read that i needed my sibling's money to survive? If you want to judge, do so from the whole story not from bits that suit you.

spiralwedge:


You are stvpid for blaming your inability to read and comprehend on me.

Na this kain person, go take one verse from Bible or Quran and twist it like a fanatic werey.

I read plain and clear. You were putting up a defense for selfishness. Like i said, when your parents are in need of care and your contribution is required, donate 1/4 to show how much you love them.

spiralwedge:
Well, i see a lot of entitlement in your post. You, your siblings and your parents are not entitled to her money. Your parents did what they did because that’s what parents do to their kids. Children are not parents’ retirement plan. Do not blame the struggling girl in Canada for your parents’ poor retirement plans.

Though in African society where things don’t work, parents do this and wait for the kids to return the investment. You have to, however, realise that she’s in another clime where mentality must have changed with time. Also, it is very difficult to cope overseas, you have to always be on your feet. It’s not easy there, and their lives are usually planned based on their income with so much to pay for. So it might be difficult for her to be doling out money at every emergency from home.

I am sure you guys don’t even ask or care about her everyday struggles. You think she plucks money from the tree and she should just be wiring it to you folks?

So when you parents are sick and money is needed for their treatment, you will refuse to support. Then if they ask why, you accuse them of being entitled.
Sorry you got 💩 for brains.

transient123:


It's a pity things have gone this sour.

My sincere advice is, blank her out and carry your responsibilities by taking good care of your parents and younger one.

She could be going through serious challenges which she didn't disclose.


It could be very challenging, trust me, when you rely on God then whatever you can do, God has a way of ensuring what she ought to be giving will come through you to your parents and sibling.

Never rely on humans, it will make you very independent and trusting God always. You will appear in the sight of man big, they will respect you beyond your understanding, it's God's way of doing things . Just ensure your sustenance is clean.

Shikena!

Thank you. I appreciate

koolaid87:


Op, your sister can't be reasoned with. Just dey your lane and do all your best for your family. I commend you and your fellow siblings doing more despite having less.

Your Sister unfortunately is a narcissist. Most Women are like that. They just want control and nothing else. They are emotional but still can't be empathetic to one's struggle.

I feel for you cos I have one just like that.

May blessings come your way.

Peace to your parents

Thank you

donsheddy1:
Make I tell am?

In the African (Nigerian) settings, what she's doing now is a problem and an evil act.

Parents training a child is an obligation. The child did not beg parents to bring him/her to this world.

Parents need to work and save for the night time as children were never meant to be retirement plans.

Having said all these, Your parents didn't give birth to only her. If she have 10k, that's what she have so you and your parents should deal with it.

She has been born so she needs to setup her own life just as you too needs to do too.

Share the bills.

Foolishness. So if your parents are in trouble, you will abandon them because they didn't save to avert the trouble. Sometimes i wonder if people like you have a conscience. You think only of yourselves but blame leaders when they are selfish. Hope your selfishness gives you everything you want.

like1:


See mumu, you have a wife at home but your older sister is not married but u think she is doing better than you. Na your sister fit una.

If you can't give a constructive contribution, it'll be better you keep mute than be a repugnant nuisance.

like1:


If this is not entitlement mentality I don't know what is it. OP do what you can do for your parents without complaining. No dey look your older sister. If you no fit too, lock up too and stop being a baby.

Your sister sends 40k monthly, she is already trying. You re calculating how much is 40k in Canadian dollars. You are even expecting your sister who has spent only 5 years in Canada to be able to have enough money to bring you abroad. If your sister id actually who you say she is, it is obvious entitlement mentality from your side is a major factor to the way she behaves.

Because there is nothing she ever does that will be appreciated.

Moreover, do you know her burdens in Canada, have you tried to inquire? Does she work as a student? 20 hours a week? Has she overstayed her visa and not able to renew and now staying illegally? What is her status in Canada.

I'm saying she's not helping her parents and your very intelligent brains interpretes it as entitlement mentality. Hope you are of no use to your parents like she is.