Caseless:
the moment you mentioned stuff on social media, I knew you're the problem, not the guy. You must bugged him with the boring girly stories or fake facebook gist he has no interest in. That guy is smarter than you. I advised earlier based on the assumtion that you were finding him not connecting on deeper topic. You need to come up to his level and watch things change.

It's funny how you lot can tell that I bother him with social media gossip based off one instance that I gave. I don't even care about social media gossip. Besides, is every controversial topic on social media gossip/gist?

truthsayer009:


I don't even trust the OP at all, It is very easy to decipher people. Plan a hangout with his friends, then see the kind of topics he talks about. He may always be talking about science fiction, Space exploration or Elon Musk but her head of full of BBNaija Mercy & Tacha + JORO cheating husbands with side-chics.

Even the worst Introverts have what they talk about when they meet people of similar Interests.

The most intelligent people I know usually talk less, infact more anti-social than anyone else.

I'm not sure he knows who Elon musk is, and I don't watch Big brother. But go off

merahki:

Maybe he is a totally phlegmatic personality?
Then your last post, dear OP, made him interesting again, to me.
I am likely to blank a screenshot of a social media topic too, I guess.
Just clarify, is he intelligent but totally not social or inclined to talk, or is he really dumb, dumb? Only you can answer this. Because the former is somewhat attractive, to me.
Give examples of real topics you have had that nearly did you in.

He talks, way more than me. And he can be a bit extroverted when he's around his guys, they talk alot....but it's never anything deep.

That's what I want with him sometimes, the deep stuff.

RealMrNigerD:

Can you be more specific, like at least two practical examples of the nature of your conversations he comes up short in? It will help give quality diagnosis

cynosuree:



for example, I see a controversial post on social media that's been attracting attention. I screenshot and send to him, asks what his opinion is. It doesn't even require too much brain work, just tell me what you think.

His typical reply is "It's cool, I guess"

So I try to get him to be less vague by asking him to explain what he means.

And then he says something like "different strokes for different folks I guess" and then proceeds to ask what I think


I tell him, and he agrees with me... Next thing, "wyd"

I don't want to be too specific, for the sake of anonymity

Nicklaus619:


Start by buying him a good novel, not too bulky and buy same for your self, ask him to read it so that both of you will share ideas and morals on each chapter at least one's a day, the two of you should share your understanding and discuss the chapter daily, from there trust me, he will always want to be ahead of you, because he wouldn't want to appear dumb or you seeing him less intelligent

Lol I see alot of people have been suggesting this, but I have tried. Didn't work

Atolu01:





You should find out why.

I don't think that's the problem

Ariza:
Me, I even want to know how people measure intelligence because these days if your area of interest doesn't go along with another's to converse on, it simply means you are Unintelligent!

Or if you aren't the type who talks about everything and anything, you are Unintelligent!

Please help oooo, must I know everything to be intelligent?

for example, I see a controversial post on social media that's been attracting attention. I screenshot and send to him, asks what his opinion is. It doesn't even require too much brain work, just tell me what you think.

His typical reply is "It's cool, I guess"

So I try to get him to be less vague by asking him to explain what he means.

And then he says something like "different strokes for different folks I guess" and then proceeds to ask what I think


I tell him, and he agrees with me... Next thing, "wyd"

XXLMANDIGO:
What level of education did he attain & What attracted you to him in the first place, His Gorgeousness or his Mandigo?

Tertiary.

Physical attributes at first.

SVandal:


If you want someone to talk quantum theory and mechanics, get a nerd. Your boyfriend is clearly not the chatterbox.

IMO, he's the definition of a "real man" - talk less, act more.

cynosuree:
I didn't say I want someone who knows quantum physics. I was only trying to emphasize that I'm not expecting him to be an Einstein, I just want him to be able to engage me in normal conversations.

XXLMANDIGO:
Don't push him too far. If you know all these why can't you try to make a balance. I barely know anything about Quantum shit and I am not dumb. Be patient with him, Find out his interest and see if there will be a middle ground.

I didn't say I want someone who knows quantum physics. I was only trying to emphasize that I'm not expecting him to be an Einstein, I just want him to be able to engage me in normal conversations.

Oluromantic:

I don't get. You choose to stick to him?

Looking for his replacement, or "better options" when I'm still in a relationship

Oluromantic:

I understand that feeling and I'd advice you don't cut out ur communication with him totally, while you satisfy ur curiosity by letting in another guy. If the new guy is ur dream guy, then separate from the former guy respectfully with maturity and not with the useless rude attitude u ladies give insensitively cus you've found someone else.

But if you find out he's still d best option you've got, then apologize for the slight reduction in communication and begin to build him up to your taste...yes it's very possible... Know his personality, temperament and responses to actions and connect with him from there till you change him, before you know it, you will change him and he'll become a guy many girls are dying to have.

I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of this so I wouldn't do it to anyone.

harlos:
Well... What I can say is only you can make him better.

If he is not the social type of guy, you can help me by going out together more often, he needs to be more exposed.
And keep trying by bringing up talks on stories around the world.
He could be learning from you.

You don't have to be social to be able to contribute intelligently to a conversation. I'm an introvert, not social at all, and I can contribute to pretty much any topic

Good morning. This issue has been bothering me for a long time, and I feel like it's too sensitive to ask for second opinions from people I know so I figured I'd maybe ask some strangers on the internet.

I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and he's everything I ever wanted in a man. Physically, he's gorgeous, and he also loves me alot. He's kind, he's patient, communicates effectively and all. You know, all the good stuff.

But here's the problem, he cannot hold a conversation beyond "what are you doing" , "what did you eat" (and all that boring stuff) to save his life. I'm not even talking about intellectual conversations like quantum theory or anything, normal conversations about stuff that's happening around the world or around us. Anytime we try to, it usually fails spectacularly. He either ends up missing the ENTIRE point and saying something totally unrelated, or he just waits for me to say what I think so he can go "Yeeaaaa that's true" , leaving me really pissed.


He has absolutely NOTHING intelligent to contribute to any serious conversation, and this hurts me alot because it is a HUGE turn off and I'm slowly losing interest in him. It's a very tricky situation because he does/did well academically, he graduated with very good grades but that's about it...nothing more. I didn't notice it at first - before we started dating, or I would never have dated him because it is a deal breaker for me.

I have considered telling him but I don't exactly know how to approach the conversation without being rude/insensitive, I know telling him would really hurt him and I don't want that. I've also thought about learning how to live with it, because no one is perfect right? Maybe I'm asking for too much?

The latter option is what I've been doing and it's gradually killing me. I fear that I'll fall out of love completely with him and end up hating myself for ruining a good thing, because he's a really good guy .

I'd like to know what you think