cynosuree:
Good morning. This issue has been bothering me for a long time, and I feel like it's too sensitive to ask for second opinions from people I know so I figured I'd maybe ask some strangers on the internet.

I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and he's everything I ever wanted in a man. Physically, he's gorgeous, and he also loves me alot. He's kind, he's patient, communicates effectively and all. You know, all the good stuff.

But here's the problem, he cannot hold a conversation beyond "what are you doing" , "what did you eat" (and all that boring stuff) to save his life. I'm not even talking about intellectual conversations like quantum theory or anything, normal conversations about stuff that's happening around the world or around us. Anytime we try to, it usually fails spectacularly. He either ends up missing the ENTIRE point and saying something totally unrelated, or he just waits for me to say what I think so he can go "Yeeaaaa that's true" , leaving me really pissed.


He has absolutely NOTHING intelligent to contribute to any serious conversation, and this hurts me alot because it is a HUGE turn off and I'm slowly losing interest in him. It's a very tricky situation because he does/did well academically, he graduated with very good grades but that's about it...nothing more. I didn't notice it at first - before we started dating, or I would never have dated him because it is a deal breaker for me.

I have considered telling him but I don't exactly know how to approach the conversation without being rude/insensitive, I know telling him would really hurt him and I don't want that. I've also thought about learning how to live with it, because no one is perfect right? Maybe I'm asking for too much?

The latter option is what I've been doing and it's gradually killing me. I fear that I'll fall out of love completely with him and end up hating myself for ruining a good thing, because he's a really good guy .

I'd like to know what you think

Op
You're stressing yourself, both of you may not have same interest, and why not try and find out what interest him and bring up a conversation on it, maybe he will relate well in that aspect.

You can't force what doesn't interest him in his mouth.

Too start

Ishilove:

We live in different societies. Either you adjust or you go for a white girl.

Wao... You're advocating for girls. I hope you also see their descriptions of an ideal guy too. Something Nigeria situation hardly permit guys to be.

I'm very conversant with all the happenings around the world including in-depth analysis of the war in middle east.
I'm al-Qaeda specialist when it comes to analysis
Trust me, you'll love that one.

So my dear inbox me
The lukewarm buffoon can go and die for all i cared.

jansonn:
Chai, this life!! And me dey find girl I can discuss politics, nature, medicine and all that intellectual sturvs and all the girls I meet are as dumb as a chicken only Instagram and billing, even the fashion they claim they know and the movies they watch, they can't identify Sylvester stallion, they still call him Rambo for goodness sakes!! Let's chat pls, am really sapiosexual and am done with these "pretty" girls

It's 'Sylvester Stallone' Sir. Maybe the so-called 'dumb' and 'pretty' girls were not the problem. And you want to chat with a lady that can discuss quantum theory huh? Pls shift jare.

Amotolongbo:
Some people are like that, while having a conversation with people, they aren’t so up and sound as they are expected to be. But when they are on their own meditating and strategizing, they come out with a near perfect answers and solutions.

Please don’t tell him bluntly if you know you are tired being with him and wanna quit the relationship. Don’t leave a bad blood behind while saying goodbye

Honestly @dear OP, perhaps you are the swift and sound type in reasoning, while your partner is a very relatively sluggish one in intellectual reasoning, there will surely be problem in synchronizing his response with your question and expectations because he may need extra time to think over it before he can give you the right answer.

Another problem I can see in this kinda relationship is that you seem to be the type that already have and answer to any question you ask your partner and expecting him to give that exact answer you have in mind. No, things don’t work that way. We are all products of different backgrounds, families and environments. This makes us to give different opinions and responses to the same interviews and questions.

You can also help him, developing interest in many fields such as politics, sports, entertainment et al. For example, listening to the news together and watching the news and discussing on political issues together.

True!

Cynosuree darling, I totally sympathize with you. Anyone who doesn’t didn't or can not see your use (and command) of English as a pointer to the fact that you are not any man’s average everyday girl.
And guess what? I’m totally in a bind on this one. I can’t think of anything, for the life of me, how to deal with this.
Perhaps, you could send him a link and jocularly say you want to discuss the issue later that day so he’d do well to read up on it. Else, no prize (whatever he likes).
Good luck girl. I feel you deeply.

Cynosuree darling, I totally sympathize with you. Anyone who doesn’t didn't or can not see your use (and command) of English as a pointer to the fact that you are not any man’s average everyday girl.
And guess what? I’m totally in a bind on this one. I can’t think of anything, for the life of me, how to deal with this.
Perhaps, you could send him a link and jocularly say you want to discuss the issue later that day so he’d do well to read up on it. Else, no prize (whatever he likes).
Good luck girl. I feel you deeply.

If someone communicates very well and checks all the right boxes what else do you need again pls. Why don't you just enjoy the guy's company while you are glued to socio political and physio economic analysts doing your thing on the TV. Obviously the guy is not a talker but apparently a doier which explains his excellent grades and those who walk the talk make great life companions because they simply make things happen rather than talk about happening things.
So my dear, you better look beyond your superficially created surface before things blow in your face.

cynosuree:
Good morning. This issue has been bothering me for a long time, and I feel like it's too sensitive to ask for second opinions from people I know so I figured I'd maybe ask some strangers on the internet.

I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and he's everything I ever wanted in a man. Physically, he's gorgeous, and he also loves me alot. He's kind, he's patient, communicates effectively and all. You know, all the good stuff.

But here's the problem, he cannot hold a conversation beyond "what are you doing" , "what did you eat" (and all that boring stuff) to save his life. I'm not even talking about intellectual conversations like quantum theory or anything, normal conversations about stuff that's happening around the world or around us. Anytime we try to, it usually fails spectacularly. He either ends up missing the ENTIRE point and saying something totally unrelated, or he just waits for me to say what I think so he can go "Yeeaaaa that's true" , leaving me really pissed.


He has absolutely NOTHING intelligent to contribute to any serious conversation, and this hurts me alot because it is a HUGE turn off and I'm slowly losing interest in him. It's a very tricky situation because he does/did well academically, he graduated with very good grades but that's about it...nothing more. I didn't notice it at first - before we started dating, or I would never have dated him because it is a deal breaker for me.

I have considered telling him but I don't exactly know how to approach the conversation without being rude/insensitive, I know telling him would really hurt him and I don't want that. I've also thought about learning how to live with it, because no one is perfect right? Maybe I'm asking for too much?

The latter option is what I've been doing and it's gradually killing me. I fear that I'll fall out of love completely with him and end up hating myself for ruining a good thing, because he's a really good guy .

I'd like to know what you think

If you were as smart as you claim, you would have figured out that in a relationship sometimes when two people have different view about life it is sometimes difficult to have meaningful conversation without having an argument this might be because of the difference in age btw you two or ur experience with life .if you like use ur hand to destroy what you have.

Small women of nowadays.
These are same people that would talk about a niggur being broke..

Egypt209:
I'm very conversant with all the happenings around the world including in-depth analysis of the war in middle east.
I'm al-Qaeda specialist when it comes to analysis
Trust me, you'll love that one.

So my dear inbox me
The lukewarm buffoon can go and die for all i cared.

Funniest post

Try talking to him about things he likes, he might have a problem with paying attention. Don’t talk about what you want to talk about, he might find it uninteresting, ask him what he wants to talk about, tell him to explain something you don’t understand, like sports or stuff that you know he likes. He might be more willing to pay attention to the conversation.

Caseless:
And I just lost a potential girlfriend due to my program schedule. Una see wetin i de talk abi.
I actually use that activity to stay happy. I feel very lazy to start a movie...though I pick interest some minutes into it. Time to start is what I don't have.
I'm a staunch lover of the game of football.

Lol, I won't blame the lady, your program get as e be ... thinking loud...how can you be happy with those media news, the only thing I have been hearing for the last two months is covid...the next nah death/rape cases, all those types of news makes me sad, join with our politicians embezzlement.
Even though there are few interesting ones like journalist hangout, your view on tvc but I won't lie abeg, bad news plenty pass.
Anyway, try other sectors, I'm not saying you shouldn't watch CNN, BBC oo
It's even more fun watching movies with someone dear to you...you both can chat with it too. The person will even be drawn to watch news with you and narrate the event as well.

Hey! She just came to tell us she is talkative, pompous and brilliantly stupid ���

jansonn:
Chai, this life!! And me dey find girl I can discuss politics, nature, medicine and all that intellectual sturvs and all the girls I meet are as dumb as a chicken only Instagram and billing, even the fashion they claim they know and the movies they watch, they can't identify Sylvester stallion, they still call him Rambo for goodness sakes!! Let's chat pls, am really sapiosexual and am done with these "pretty" girls

Young man, it's " I am sapiosexual and I am done with these "pretty" girls "

it now got me wondering. how did he manage to toast u naaa aunty? u for gree 4 william shakespear naaa

Dear cynosure,
not all men are the talking type. perhaps you've not gotten to know his niche. what interest him, what does he love. Try to know his hobby from there know why he's into it. etc
you'll surely love him more. you haven't know much about him until the.

truthsayer009:


I don't even trust the OP at all, It is very easy to decipher people. Plan a hangout with his friends, then see the kind of topics he talks about. He may always be talking about science fiction, Space exploration or Elon Musk but her head of full of BBNaija Mercy & Tacha + JORO cheating husbands with side-chics.

Even the worst Introverts have what they talk about when they meet people of similar Interests.

The most intelligent people I know usually talk less, infact more anti-social than anyone else.

I'm not sure he knows who Elon musk is, and I don't watch Big brother. But go off

Girl I think u are the problem and not him

Caseless:
the moment you mentioned stuff on social media, I knew you're the problem, not the guy. You must bugged him with the boring girly stories or fake facebook gist he has no interest in. That guy is smarter than you. I advised earlier based on the assumtion that you were finding him not connecting on deeper topic. You need to come up to his level and watch things change.

It's funny how you lot can tell that I bother him with social media gossip based off one instance that I gave. I don't even care about social media gossip. Besides, is every controversial topic on social media gossip/gist?

jansonn:
Chai, this life!! And me dey find girl I can discuss politics, nature, medicine and all that intellectual sturvs and all the girls I meet are as dumb as a chicken only Instagram and billing, even the fashion they claim they know and the movies they watch, they can't identify Sylvester stallion, they still call him Rambo for goodness sakes!! Let's chat pls, am really sapiosexual and am done with these "pretty" girls

No be only Sylvester Stallion, na Sylvester Horse.

Also, it's I'm or I am, not am

Weird that you think it is a sign of intelligence - knowing an actor's real name. You don't know his real name either, so what do we say about you?

Yes, my dear that's reality for you. No one has it all. So you have to decide if the other qualities would cover for the others. Try talking to him about it before you take your decision. Compatibility is key,just that people like us know how to adjust our expectation. Maybe you should adjust yours if u really like him.

cynosuree:




It's funny how you lot can tell that I bother him with social media gossip based off one instance that I gave. I don't even care about social media gossip. Besides, is every controversial topic on social media gossip/gist?

calm down. If it's a deal breaker for you, then end the relationship. Either way, you're going to hurt him, so do it while he still has a chance to hurt less.

Pretty sure there's an Einstein somewhere that you can date.

Ishilove:

Where you wan see me from that your desert?

It has been long I heard from her but based on her pictures on Instagram she should be fine.

make desert comot ur slippers dia! Pls, the only time I see desert is when I go to Dubai on leisure or fun trip(don't even try to doubt me).
Lagos na like my backyard now. I alway come.

Instagram geng! Good to know she's fine.

smiliyB:
Lol, I won't blame the lady, your program get as e be ... thinking loud...how can you be happy with those media news, the only thing I have been hearing for the last two months is covid...the next nah death/rape cases, all those types of news makes me sad, join with our politicians embezzlement.
Even though there are few interesting ones like journalist hangout, your view on tvc but I won't lie abeg, bad news plenty pass.
Anyway, try other sectors, I'm not saying you shouldn't watch CNN, BBC oo
It's even more fun watching movies with someone dear to you...you both can chat with it too. The person will even be drawn to watch news with you and narrate the event as well.

which lady again? Na u nau.
Actually, those things u see on tv are the realities - most times, reality is not appealing, so I live with it and it doesn't hurt me anymore. I jst have to use real ways to confront my fear, instead of the fictitious ways.
U even watch JH? Then u're my friend

Caseless:
which lady again? Na u nau.
Actually, those things u see on tv are the realities - most times, reality is not appealing, so I live with it and it doesn't hurt me anymore. I jst have to use real ways to confront my fear, instead of the fictitious ways.
U even watch JH? Then u're my friend

Huh Nah Nah!! Hahahahahahaha I may accept to be your friend but not as gf ooo You're right about the reality part, it's nice you have learn to live with it but for someone like me, I haven't oo
I simply avoid it, if not it may interfer with my right frame of mind and I don't want that.

RPG2020:


Send your account details to EFCC Lagos branch thank you we are looking forward to see you as well

Hahahahahahahah

SweetCunt97:
Una mind spoil. No wonder rape dey everywhere. Perverse generation.

, haba!!! I only quoted ya moniker. Shebi u sef folo for our generation?

cynosuree:
I'm not sure he knows who Elon musk is, and I don't watch Big brother. But go off

What does he discuss with his friends? or does he just say "Yes" "that's right" "Okay", "you are correct" while being with them?

I mean, If he his dull, his friends will be dull too. Once you've seen me, you have probably seen 5 of my friends.

Bahddo:
calm down. If it's a deal breaker for you, then end the relationship. Either way, you're going to hurt him, so do it while he still has a chance to hurt less.

Pretty sure there's an Einstein somewhere that you can date.

LMAOOOO my brother, I come & bow ohhh

athaliya:

Loyalty is scarce in this part of the world and they will readily abandon even their gods at the sign of trouble.

It depends oh, gods get levels.