₦airaland Forum

Seriously, I've been playing this game for almost 2 weeks now and only seen like 3 girls... Where are all of you hiding

1. Immarh returns a missing purse to the owner in a market. The lady was so grateful but when she looked inside the purse, she got confused and said, "but I had just a single note of N1000 but, now there are ten notes of N100, how come?" Immarh said "na me change am, because the last time I help person find purse she say she for give me something but change no dey! So I changed it"


2. Immarh: Would you like to be the sun of my life?
Chichi: Awwww...Yes!
Immarh: Then stay 9,995,887.6 miles away from me!
Chichi: ��

3. In Sokoto, a man named Dalhatu bashiru was arrested on a charge that he stole a neighbor's cow.
His attorney maintained that he was innocent and filed that the case be dismissed through lack of evidence. The judge agreed and the case was dismissed.
Bashiru then thanked the judge and asked, "But do I have to give back the cow?"


4. KID: Teacher can I go to the bathroom?
TEACHER: You have to say your ABC's first.
KID: Ok; a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k,l,m,n,o,q,r,s,t,u, v,w.x.y, and z.
TEACHER: Where's the p?
KID: It's running down my leg!


5. Immarh spent the night with his mistress and comes back in the morning.
WIFE: Where have you been? Where did you sleep?
Immarh: At Johnny's place, he lost his sister.
WIFE: OK...you can eat your food, I'm going to the bathroom.
[After bathing]
WIFE: I'm going out...
Immarh: Where are you going to?
WIFE: To Johnny's, need to check how they are doing.
Immarh: Honey, they called the time you were bathing and told me she rose from the dead!


6. When a military man dies, we will shoot all night.
When a christian dies, we will pray all night.
What if a prostitute dies what will happen all night?

7. A preacher was giving his sermon one Sunday morning when a note was passed to him. The only word written on it was "IDIOT"
Looking up at the Congregation the Preacher smiled and said, "I've heard of men who write letters and forget to sign their names, but this is the first time I've seen someone sign his name and forget to write the letter."

Afternoon Jokes

1. Armpit you haven’t shaved for 3 months,you carry Holy Bible put there�lDo u want to suffocate the children of Israel?

2. But why will they arrest BOBRISKY?? What offense did HE.. Sorry what offense did SHE.. Oya sorry what offense did IT.. Mtchewww this confusion is enough reason for arrest

3. If cheating can generate electricity, Anambra men alone can power the whole Nigeria & 5 other neighboring countries.


4. Girls will put on seat belt and their breast will be like
Don't touch me am not feeling fine


5. On my weeding day wen the pastor will say u may now kiss your Bride my brother is Better for you to carry your Bag and go because you are going to watch live porn

6. Some girls be answering Rose but looking at them, they look like weed

7. Hustle oo make dem no use fufu gum ur wedding poster

8. Please at my funeral,
Nobody should come and look at me in my coffin, me that is shy, i weeh just laugh....

9. My junior student in secondary school who I used to flog and beat up for no reason recently joined the Nigerian Army
*
He posted a picture wearing full Army uniform and carrying a gun
But I’m afraid cos he tagged only me


11. We are fighting nd u are holding my neck, u want to kill me?

12. It’s only in Nigeria movie you see a dead body brought out of coffin sweating....

13. I was shocked when i called my friend, Mtn was like,,dear customer the person u are trying to call is owing us 500 airtime so if he answers pliz help us to convince him to pay back the loan..i immediately fainted

Hmmm.

My own is that when I 13yrs old, I had this girl that I was seriously crushing on.

So during maths period teacher asked me to solve something on the board and it was a very long equation.

About getting to the end of it ���, I bent down with full force and my shorts tore widely. The worst part is that I wore my turn boxers that day and the girl was in the front seat looking at my with wide eyes.

After that day eh, I burnt that boxers and short to ashes.

That is the story of how I got a giant handprint of my mom's hand that is still on my back till today.

Abeg tell us your own make man laugh ��

Pls how does one begin a dog breeding business on a low budget... I already have 5 fat NSDs. 2 males and 3 females...Pls O need some advice.

KevUnique:
.
awww, sympathies on the death of your pet cate. I know how it feels.
Well, I have three 3 week old cute kittens for sale now. it will be advisable to bind with them at this age now and share picture memories with them as they grow. let them get used to you too , early.
my location is Abuja. my price stands at 2500 for a kitten

How much for waybill

TrickorTreat:
Hello, I have cats for sale, can I reach you via the number on your signature?

Ok but what state are you in

Please I need help.... My kitten died yesterday for some reason unknown to us. Please does anyone have a kitten to give out in Enugu. Any breed is accepted and if it's 4 sale pls indicate. Thanks a bunch
- Dannyboi

Are you on Facebook?

SultanOfPuna:
Op, na your Dog be this??

Chai!!!

bigseank:
baba make i no lie you. that thing fattens dog up quickly, most especially coppens. i don't know about the long term effects, but dogs tend to munch on that stuff gan, and most dont reject it unlike some kibbles they would reject

True talk my guys 1 month old dog is already bigger than my 2 months old dog.

Just wanted to know if its good to feed a dog fish feed cuz my friend fed it to his 1 month old pup and its already as big as my 3 month old pup. Pls can y'all give advise.

Post a pic please.

Market is a clean and hygenic trading center in a community.

[color=#000000][/color] Please who can dash me a kitten. I'm in Enugu.

Idowster:
Nasooo

Idowster what's up... Just so you know dat my dog has given birth and they will be one month tomorrow so I'll be collecting gifts on their behalf. Thanks.

Please how can I hear the voice of the Holy Spirit.

HI, WELCOME TO CHRISTIAN ASSOCIATION CHAT THREAD WHERE WE CAN COME TOGETHER AS ONE AND ENCOURAGE ONE ANOTHER. PLEASE LETS ALL DISCUSS WITH WISDOM AND UNDESTANDING. GOD BLESS YOU.

Galactico4ever:
I don't know either.Now am stuck.

Funny

It looks like caucasian pup

Idowster come and see oooo

Please if there is any dog for adoption, or any neglected or abused dog for adoption. Contact me at 07041218039. Location: Enugu

Idowster:
wow mafo

Idowster are you a girl

Congrats To Ice

Idowster:
dannyboi976 hv u heard the latest news ice has just whelped

Wow

tot:
nairaland trouble maker no 1!

Leave am

Idowster:
i am a trouble maker i will tell u if i am crying

Weldone sir

Idowster:
how waz ur nite

Fresh. U nko

Babysho:

Corgis na the cousin of Ekukes. They left Nigeria to study in Wales in 1771. Never came back. Our Ekuke con swear for them say them no go ever tall.

Chai

Idowster:
good morning good morning good morning

Morning bro