₦airaland Forum

Nollywood makes me angry sometimes because I don’t think the basis of its films are realistic. I took time to watch a Nollywood film today that was more complex that a film needed to be and seemed to take joy in dragging scenes long past my attention span could permit. Although the constant screaming and bad soundtrack annoyed me, I couldn’t help but sink deeper into the plot of the movie. They took a simple God-fearing woman and complicated her life to the point of no return. How you may ask, well here is the list below:
- Her husband was cheating on her (which should be no surprise).
- Then she gets raped (accidentally)
- She gets pregnant and she decided to keep the baby on the grounds of religion.
- Her husband is completely against it (and of course he is, he is a man) Even though he was unable to impregnate her during their seven-year marriage, he could not stand the idea of her having a child by a rapist.
- Husband moves her into the guest room and brings another woman into the house
- (This is were the plot thickens.) The guy who raped her gives his life to Christ and happens to find his way to her church, only for them to fall in love.

I understand forgiveness, but for her to fall in love with the guy who raped her is beyond my comprehension. What bothered me the most is that she felt like she had to choose between her cheating /abusive husband and the man who raped her. The worst part was her decision, I won’t spoil the end just in case someone wants to watch the film, but to put it kindly I disagreed with her choice.

What is Nollywood trying to say about women? If it were the other way around, the man would have left by the first sign of adultery. Why are women expected to sit, cry and pray as a solution to their husbands’ infidelities?

This just makes me realize how strong I have to be when entering a relationship. A woman, a Nigerian woman, is expected to work through all trials. She is expected to hold on to love even when there is no love to hold on to. She is expected to show the truest of love through the darkest times- to give love even when her heart is broken. A Nigerian woman is expected to forgive any and all her man dishes to her. A Nigerian woman is to represent unconditional love. My grandmother loved unconditionally, and so did my mother. Although a new generation of “revolt against the bull shit of man” is uprising in the Nigerian community, I wonder – should I join the revolution or learn to love unconditionally as well. The love that is expected of a Nigerian woman is a tradition and it is a characteristic that has always brought a Nigerian man back to his country to find a wife.

I don’t mind loving unconditionally, but I don’t know if my heart can withstand the abuse of an African man. I am spoiled by the American culture of romanticism. I live in this fantasy world were a relationship is 50-50. My uncle told me that, that was my problem. He said, and I quote because I will never forget this, “ In America women are told that whatever a man can do, a woman can do better. But here in Africa what ever a man can do, a man can do.”

I know some may find what my uncle said offensive, but I think that hidden in that backwards mindset is the reason why divorce isn’t common in African families. That is why when entering a serious relationship both man and woman must look inside themselves and question their strength. The woman especially, must question her ability to love that man unconditionally because there should be no looking back after the “I dos” have been said. I don’t believe that times will constantly be hard for the woman, but I believe that when they do (and they will), jumping into the next boat will not be the answer, no matter how fast yours is sinking. I still hate how the movie ended, but in the process of writing this post, I understand her decision. I only pray that such tragedies remain in film, never to escape into the realities of my life, or anyone else.

buzyDiva:
Indeed

@phoenix,
Xerxes na fine boy . . except that he's got a girl and she is a toughy!

I just want to see and admire one of God's creatures.

~Xerxes~:
@ DaPhoenix,

Check my profile.

C'mon. . . seriously.

Oh yeah, Xerxes can I see yours too?

Eldee don't make me send my men to kidnap you.

Eldee come on.

@Buzy,

Eldee has to be cute before we fight.

@favo,

We're done with John. The spotlight is on Eldee.

StephenP:
@Phoenix, I see ya.

Stephen love, your sexiness is confirmed. You know I can't leave you, I'm just exploring the unexplored.  

Where did you see the picture?

eldee:
Tell them the truth ooh
Hmmn some one post nlanders have started im'ing me

Please nah, Say the truth, OR ELSE I'll quit nland come back as mallambaba and open all these sexist threads
Don't believe Jenny, no one on nland has ever seen my pic before

LIES

jennykadry:
Eldee show phoenix joooo,shes tripping

eldee na fine boy ooo,i wonder what them young girls here r waiting for,d day i saw d pics i was like WAT D Bleep ARE THEM YOUNG HUNS WAITING FOR,this guy is supposed to have been kidnapped by now

Jenny don't make me hunt him down.

Eldee please show me.

jennykadry:
@Daphoenix

nope ,have u?why do u ask is he cute abi ugly,i know he'll be ugly

I was hoping you'd know if he is. I just want to have a peek because he's sounds like one of those guys who would be cute but I don't know.

Jenny, have you seen Eldee's picture?

eldee:
Don't you understand?
It's just the simple truth

Jenny, let's leave Eldee for now. He's into himself and Ibkaye isn't helping.

StephenP:
20 years?! Has it been that short? It felt more like 50 years to me.

Men!

StephenP:
This is Rebellious! Gotcha! LOL!!

Seun did it again.

jennykadry:
@stephen

so u did not know its your wife rebellious all this while

I know right. After 20 good years of marriage, he still doesn't know me.

eldee:
I didn't open it!!
I have no right to stand inbetween a girl and her fantasies

Eldee c'mon. . . pretty please??

favococo:
@JENN

WHAT CONSIDE You IF I PUT IT HERE IN ROMANCE ,,
IT IS ABOUT ME AND IF You THINK You RE THE ONE TRUE WHY RE You HERE PLS


LOL

Trust me don't go there. . . There are more people online than you think.

Eldee love, please move this thread to music or celebrities already.

eldee:
@Daphoenix
Aight ELDEE is LE-GEN-DA-RY

Cool as long as there is a break in your LE-GEN-DA-RISM

eldee:
I am LEGEND, you got a problem with that?

@Da Pheonix
Tell her na

Sorry but that's Will Smith.

jennykadry:
poster what stephenp meant was that u should post your thread on the music section and not on the romance section

I thought so too.

@Stephen, yours.

cescky:
@eldee

legendary

Get with the program.

StephenP:
I'll cut those wings off soon.

Not my eldee's wings.

Btw, your signature is funny but cocky.

buzyDiva:
Long Distance don't work!!!!

I hope some male Nairalanders are reading this. Don't IM me and say you saw me as your girlfriend in your dream/vision meanwhile we are in different continents. It won't work!

It depends on why we broke up. If we broke up for something major, I don't think he'd still be alive but it was something minor like we weren't feeling each other anymore, yeah I can still be friends with him and if the mood is right and he does or says something sweet and/or sexy, I don't know, I just might kiss him.

buzyDiva:
"to the bank . . lets go and empty his bank account"

Me too

@poster, You're just full of shit. Same guy who was posting about his numerous sexual escapades is now looking for the "romantic,conservative,homely,nuturing, religious,intelligent Nigeria women". Go burn!

@ topic, Taye Diggs. Nuff said.

toyinrayo:

abeg, see the way we comment. , that's why a female nler was "looking for my attention" yest.
abeg, stop that kind of talk o

toyinrayo:
hehhee. . I saw your pix
that was a beauty

I know! Jenny is hot and I would totally do her. . .no homo.