i was once involved in a relationship with a girl that resides in London.for almost a year,we had things going for us,even to the point that she told me she'll ve coming back to Nigeria coz of me,but suddenly she stopped taking my call,replying my mails and then changed her mobile number.till now,no reason whatsoever.

mumu, she don find one lovely RUBEN wey dey burantash am, 
this kind of relationship is on a 10 : 90 ratio.
its not 50:50
the[b] Scambo [/b] don give herself brain, so u sef, give yourself brain.

Long Distance don't work!!!!

buzyDiva:

Long Distance don't work!!!!

LOL!! busta, so fun wa. bawo le se moh?

full depth:

mumu, she don find one lovely RUBEN wey dey burantash am,
this kind of relationship is on a 10 : 90 ratio.
its not 50:50
the Scambo don give herself brain, so u sef, give yourself brain.

ROTFLMAO

buzyDiva:

Long Distance don't work!!!!

REAL!!!

U'll die young with worries.
Even married people find it In short i no know the word to use qualify am.

All this long distance thing sef, i dnt believe in it cos it hardly works.

buzyDiva:

Long Distance don't work!!!!

I hope some male Nairalanders are reading this. Don't IM me and say you saw me as your girlfriend in your dream/vision meanwhile we are in different continents. It won't work!

well,for a while i thot it would work because i have an elder brother who's happily married to German and they live happily with their son.there met through the net and after about a year of internet dating(long distance relationship),she came to Nigeria,saw my brother and b4 anyone could shout BOMSHAKALAKA,they were married.
for me i guess it's because it's a naija babe.i dont think naija babes could be trusted in that area.

sometimes it does sometimes it doesnt that's why both parties who do so must go with eyes wide open to potential dangers lurking. Going almost 1 yr without seeing the girl u're supposed to be dating is not too cool . . . at least make a conscious effort to see her more often and spend quality time with her.

I dont blame the chic, once she found someone who could give her the physical touch she craved you became history. There was nothing she could remember you by besides emails and phone calls. e no easy sometimes but it works if both are determined and love each other enough.

looks like Busta's tried it and been burnt once eh.

4 Him:

sometimes it does sometimes it doesnt that's why both parties who do so must go with eyes wide open to potential dangers lurking. Going almost 1 yr without seeing the girl u're supposed to be dating is not too cool . . . at least make a conscious effort to see her more often and spend quality time with her.

I don't blame the chic, once she found someone who could give her the physical touch she craved you became history. There was nothing she could remember you by besides emails and phone calls. e no easy sometimes but it works if both are determined and love each other enough.

looks like Busta's tried it and been burnt once eh.

yea, I have to agree with you on this.
It may work, it may not work

This isnt encouraging at all. My girlfriend will be moving away for about a year and half, we have been dating for about three years. So does this mean the end??
Nobody even try support the long distance waka.

Kia!! I'm finished be this. Shes my yesterday, today and my tomorrow. I'm keeping hope alive on this one.

I will say it again . . if u can give it a try and all u got. it doesn't work . . one way of the other, one of either party will get feed up of the whole thing.

- you feel lonely and empty, emotionally depressed especially when u see ur friends with their partners
- one or both parties might decide to Settle for a temporary replacement/backup
- always a huge room for Suspicion
- it turns u into a control freak, u wanna know what the other person is doing, where they're going, who they're going with, wats for dinner, lunch, why didn't u call me last night? blah, blah, blah . . which then leads to
- countless misunderstandings and jealousy. . one partner trynna defend themselves and keep their stands
- Not being there for the other person when u need them the most, lackof intimacy
- before u know it . . .communication breaks down and one partner seems to start getting not interested
- too expensive, cost of travelling, phone cards, etc


I can keep going on and on . . not worth it.

Esss:

This isnt encouraging at all. My girlfriend will be moving away for about a year and half, we have been dating for about three years. So does this mean the end??
Nobody even try support the long distance waka.

Kia!! I'm finished be this. Shes my yesterday, today and my tomorrow. I'm keeping hope alive on this one.

LMAO! Esssss - abeg, I can't laugh this evening. Take it easy. . . . .

@ Poster - LDR is evil, frustrating and just downright stupid. If I had my chance, I would go for a guy who's attentive, loves me and all that in my own location rather than be supporting myself with chats and telephones. Like someone said - it's probably that she realized she can't cope with you being so far and she settled for her own guy around her. . . . . .




. . . . why am i getting ideas?

buzyDiva:

I will say it again . . if u can give it a try and all u got. it doesn't work . . one way of the other, one of either party will get feed up of the whole thing.

- you feel lonely and empty, emotionally depressed especially when u see your friends with their partners
- one or both parties might decide to Settle for a temporary replacement/backup
- always a huge room for Suspicion
- it turns u into a control freak, u want to know what the other person is doing, where they're going, who they're going with, wats for dinner, lunch, why didn't u call me last night? blah, blah, blah . . which then leads to
- countless misunderstandings and jealousy. . one partner trynna defend themselves and keep their stands
- Not being there for the other person when u need them the most, lackof intimacy
- before u know it . . .communication breaks down and one partner seems to start getting not interested
- too expensive, cost of travelling, phone cards, etc


I can keep going on and on . . not worth it.

Exactly. . . .Buzy - it seems you've been down that road too many times for your own comfort.

it can be tough but it does work - but only with MAXIMUM effort. It also helps if you have spent significant time with the person in the same place for a period of time before long distance starts, or that you try to meet up as frequently as possible - once a year at the very minimum.

Finally you need to spend a month or so in the same location together before moving on in marriage or anything to see those things that a LDR cannot reveal to you - personal habits and behaviour up close and personal.

That said, it doesn't work for MOST people - you need to be really committed and determined to make it work, with enough support around you too - If everyone around keeps telling you it won't work, it likely won't because they won't help you hold on.

@ Esss

given you've been together 3 years on the go, a year and a half is not too much that you can't keep it going, just make sure you see her at least once during that period to ensure you guys remain on the same frequency.

Communication is tough, but you know what? It is doable - not for everyone like I said, but still achievable if both of you give it your all.

As for the OP, she simply moved on and didn't have the guts to tell you, very unfortunate. I don't think its due solely to the long dist, something else must've happened to change her mind

debosky:

it can be tough but it does work - but only with MAXIMUM effort. It also helps if you have spent significant time with the person in the same place for a period of time before long distance starts, or that you try to meet up as frequently as possible - once a year at the very minimum.

correct.

Thanks for the encouragement. But you guys have already planted the seed.

I've really given the whole thing alot of thought and I'm pretty scared. Not because I think shes gonna cheat, but she just might call me one day and call it quits. My world will just collapse. How do I start all over again?? I'm even thinking of moving with her just that it would not be convinient at all. And what are the chances that she wouldnt find someone else who will give her more than I have to offer. She means more than I can tell you guys and this is real talk. If I tell her not to go then I'll just be plain selfish and I doubt she'll even listen to me.

Omo life is a real bitch. On a scale 1 to 100, what are tha chances of a long distance relationship surviving. I'm not talking bout lagos port-harcourt relationship o!! I'm talking bout trans-atlantic. I need something to reassure myself that it is going to be alright.

Now I'm really freaking out.

Esss what if you both were married and she had to go away for 2 yrs? Your marriage would collapse?
Whether LDR's work or not is dependent on those involved, if you want it to work it will if not there's no point punishing urself.
If you both love urself then distance shld not be more than a mild irritant.

4 every 98 people that says it doesnt work,,,,
there are 2 people out there who says it works,

though they r on the minority, the magis is 4 the people involved to be serious n focused, with a lil travelling to see each other once in a while, lag / abj has a chance of working.but lagos london, hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm unless u are a gates or an onassis, ur chances are below 0.4%, [mark it, i said 0.4%, so there is still a slim chance that it will