baba11:

I love the virgin aspect of it as only virgin should marry virgin...

what do you say to young virgin ladies marrying married men and how do virgin ladies recognise the virgin guys

olawalebabs:


Women, getting what they want since the time of Adam.

YES O, anytime

maclatunji:


Hahaha...

I was not ready by myself for a long time and I did not find anyone that meets my personal preferences. I am beginning to think of someone but nothing concrete.

OH! SO GUYS ARE PICKY TOO.....Religion,beauty? Barakallahu fihi in your search

luv2talk:
[b]I graduated from University 8 years ago, i was jobless for good 5 years before one of my Aunt help me secure a state Govt teaching Job. Through out my struggling period, no woman sees any future or potentials in me. Though, Im a born Comedian and many girls appreciate my sense of humor, but no one want to identify with poverty
Im yet to married because i had two heart-breaks that almost cost me my life. The first Girl friend's Dad didnt allow me to marry her daughter cos i was a Teacher then i tried to persuade her that things will get better, But her Dad couldnt see future in me.
Few month later, i was match-made with an abuja based muslim girl through a family friend. when i opened up to the lady that im a teacher, she asked if im willing to look for federal job or other high paying Job, i said NO, cos i knew what i was doing. i told her that im a Blogger and within a year, inshallah, i will be earning millions. She laughed at me and gave me conditions that before she could marry me, i must have a job that pays not less than 100k and i must be ready to relocate to ABJ.
I almost gave up my dream of becoming a successful blogger. i arranged with a friend in abuja who got me a teaching job at one international sch there and they were ready to pay me 120k. i rushed to call my girl friend and informed her about the Good news. Alas!! She replied it was too late, that she has found he guy with secured future. i nearly commit suicide then. Well, just one month after she dump me. Google sent me Half a million naira as my accumulated blog adverts.
Inshallah today, Im the proud owner of Entertainment and Gossip blog www.Vibenigeria.com where I earn almost 7 figures from Google adverts every month. I just even open another tutorial blog www.TipsMill.com where i research solutions to what many people are searching for, ranging from Health, relationship, marriage, Business idea, Technology and more.
Exactly this time last year, the bike i use to ply around knocked and i couldnt afford to repair it.Poverty was my middle name then, seeing what i looked like then can even scare a potential wife . Mehn, Thunder Fire Poverty
I live more comfortable now and i employ 3 people that earns Higher 5 figures monthly from me.

Now, Many women are professing their love for me now as if i be learner
Anyway sha, i wish im married, but Allah knows the best

Since then, i have lost hope in women, i find it difficult to fall in love again. Im a well-read mallam, But im happily single. only in love with my blogging business[/b]

N.B
Nairaland and Linda Ikeji really played dominant role in my blogging career, inshallah, im going to publish my story on my birthday 9th Jan. here on how i become a successful blogger within a year. its going to make front page and im sure linda ikeji is going to publish it too

Thats an acheivement, but i still suggest you get something else apart from ths blogging kini.....

mmmustapha:
I want to make sure that I have my own house, job and resource b4 I will marry. nowadays marriage is very expensive, jumaat kar33m.

Job n Resources are enuf for now

maclatunji:
Nice post although I think you might have insulted chickens in it and as a patron of the birds, I am almost offended .

I am single for many factors but I feel many of them are being removed and I now have a plan to do so although not immediately but let us call it work-in-progress.

Whilst we are encouraged to get married as soon as we have the capacity, singles should also be educated on what it takes to stay married so that we don't get a high percentage of dysfunctional marriages or divorces.

May Allah grant we singles excellent spouses and sustain the current happy marriages (Ameen).

Y ARE YOU STILL SINGLE

roshmedia:
Whao, what a discussion!

1. I think the debate shoudn't focus on who is or who is not to blame - that is not bringing out the need to identify a solution or a way forward. It seems to only accentuate the dividing line. However, kudos to the whole idea.

2. Congratulations to the sisters. I am impressed by majority of what I read. Seem you 'guys' were all about having a sit down between intending couples, ironing out misunderstanding/misconceptions, giving the brother a chance to convince you of your desires he might not be able to meet, confirming the guy is not just loking for a slave but a partner within the set limits. In short, the sisters message comes across as 'bros, lets talk about it with the spirit of give & take'.

3. Yeyenati is great too - but needs to calm down. (hope you don't take this the wrong way). in all, you did great, realy.

4. Weldone brothers for putting up a good fight. You guy didn't nail this in my humble opinion. You were too much about stereotypes: sisters like rich guys, sisters dont want to submit, etc. Hey, everybody is different. You have to treat each scenario on a case by case basis. Even if the stereotypes are true, your duty if interested is to engage before nikah, seek to understand, propose compromise, assure of Allah's support and pray. Otherwise move forward a find another sis.

5. And do let's avoid generalisation, its against our Deen. Treat people on their own merit. You can be sure most sis are right up there in the intelectual dept. as much as the brothers. We bros are just getting use to this idea (you cant blame us on what we learnt from the old generation along with the Deen. However bros, you have to catch up early. Wake up and smell the coffee. And sis have to pipe down on the effect of wetern media (feminism and whats not) - the Deen's got you covered already!

6. Dressing. I used to get accussed of these a lot long time ago. I just didn't have a good fashion sense. However, i grew up to differentiate Zhud from Taqwa.

7. You have to be financially ready before nikkah. And the readiness is about livelihood not riches. Level of wealth required is not bro nor sis opinion - it's a joint agreement of what is enough. Otherwise, if you can't agree, you keep searching for a like mind. Not give up and point fingers.


Nur vs 33 from ibn katheer

Allah's saying:

﴿وَلْيَسْتَعْفِفِ الَّذِينَ لاَ يَجِدُونَ نِكَاحاً حَتَّى يُغْنِيَهُمُ اللَّهُ مِن فَضْلِهِ﴾

(And let those who find not the financial means for marriage keep themselves chaste, until Allah enriches them of His bounty.) This is a command from Allah to those who do not have the means to get married: they are to keep themselves chaste and avoid unlawful things, as the Prophet said:

«يَا مَعْشَرَ الشَّبَابِ مَنِ اسْتَطَاعَ مِنْكُمُ الْبَاءَةَ فَلْيَتَزَوَّجْ فَإِنَّهُ أَغَضُّ لِلْبَصَرِ وَأَحْصَنُ لِلْفَرْجِ، وَمَنْ لَمْ يَسْتَطِعْ فَعَلَيْهِ بِالصَّوْمِ فَإِنَّهُ لَهُ وِجَاءٌ»

(O young men, whoever among you can afford to get married, let him marry, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and protecting the private parts. Whoever cannot do that, then let him fast, for it is a protection for him.)


(and Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful) ﴿4:25﴾.

﴿وَلْيَسْتَعْفِفِ الَّذِينَ لاَ يَجِدُونَ نِكَاحاً﴾

(And let those who find not the financial means for marriage keep themselves chaste,) `Ikrimah said, "This refers to a man who sees a woman and it is as if he feels desire; if he has a wife then let him go to her and fulfill his desire with her, and if he does not have a wife, then let him ponder the kingdom of heaven and earth until Allah grants him means of livelihood.''

8. I broke my oath of silence.

EHYAH, BUT YOU REALLY MADE SOME GOOD POINTS...Atleast agreeing with our view....JAZAKALLAHU KHAIRAN

missphumby:



Makes me feel like getting married too, wow! D pics are soo great! Just like u are wondering, m also wondering who d lucky man is gonna be.

The Lucky Man is Maclatunji....lol

AlBaqir:


Culturally, African prefer African dresses during wedding ceremony so the European style isn't that common. Religiously, Nigerian muslims might find it difficult to blend the European attires (esp. For Hijabi) with Islamic code of dressing. But things has change today. [size=28pt]Here's my humble-self and my sweetheart[/size].

Ehn Ehn.......
Barakallahu feekum

muhabab:
take more

So lovely......Ohhhhhh

maclatunji:
No one to answer my question. It is very easy to make theories and assertions but when they are tested many fail to hold any substance.

Is it safe to say that the assertion that "there are few suitable single men available for marriage has been debunked"?

I think so.

They are afraid of falling into the wrong hands

Billyonaire:
Islam is biased about education, and its even worst when its western education. Girls do not have opportunity to get proper education in most Islamic states. in Saudi Arabia, the home country of Mohammed (where Osama is also from), women are not allowed to drive, not allowed to join the police or military, not allowed to go into sports except recently when few ladies are showcased for image laundering. And guess what ? Women are forced to wear veils covering their sexy natural curves. I am just saying it the way it is, I am not religious and I will never be.

Now I know the level of your ignorance.
No more words.....

Billyonaire:
The difference is social media. There were lots of divorce too but there was no means of transmission of the news of divorce.

The very reason Islam promote illiteracy amongst women is to make sure women remain loyal to men, so was it those days, because men refuse to train their daughters too, out of ignorance and dependence on men as bread winners, but now women have equal opportunity to get education and work to earn a living, so women can decide to divorce at will, for "irreconcilable differences".

Love isnt a good reason to get married, not then, and not even now, because love is unlimited in nature, it can be depleted, but friendships keep unions strong after the diffusion of love.

I don't get your point Mr; U could av said Culture prohibited females from getting educated n Not Islam

kazlaw2000:
Good build-up. I was also ascending the ladder some years back but i guess i got to the anti-climax stage. It became really difficult to keep jumping trousers and beards. Too many verbal and at a time physical opposition from friends and family. I had to seclude my self frm long term associates then becos i dont wanna be mocked. When it was becoming unbearable, i started to improvise. Now my dressing is more like those Iranian politicians. Moderate beards and normal trousers length. Thats easier to adopt.

Barakallahu fihi Akhee

virginboy1:

"you know He can't be poor forever" hmmmmm.
And is it everyman that goes to school that are comes out literates?

Do I av to elaborate further before u get the point; I av greater affinity to intelligent guys

virginboy1:

There is a lot with it dear, moreover can you marry a man that have no money?

I just cannot marry an illiterate; but I know he cant be poor forever

fighalo:
tell me u dnt want ur guy to be rich. tell me if a guy in a range rover and another guy walking with school bag on his back calls you, who will u give your time. be frank pls

Other things attract, op u know that? In as much as he is educated n I am too; I believe we can work things together n create a better life.
We cant all be rich at the same time,if not now for Mr A,its definitely gonna be later

femmy2010:
It all boils down to how unique the Lady is.

Yeah

virginboy1:
Broke guys desperately chase ladies,
when you chase and catch up with money, the said ladies will start chasing you.

*wow* the moment and feelings of frontage, see different bobo and sisi staring at my moniker.
Op thank you for creating this topic,mod thank you for pushing it to frontpage.
My fellow nairalanders, thank you all for finding this post sensible.
Keep the likes coming.
I love you all.

Pls what's with guys n money; I see reasons y some rich dudes usually file for divorce after marriage cos they marry women who see riches n not wives who would have considered some traits to accept proposal n not money.
Y can't u endure n give her sometimes; what u work hard for is what u value and that's what stays with u for long

haliee:
I love this trend

Lovely

Nice one.
@Mac, Even though the faith is in the heart, what the heart holds should reflect outside from your manner,character to your appearance; You don't claim to believe in Allah n His Prophet, n u trying to dodge the 'Simple' aspect of Sunnah just becos u don't want to appear as a fanatic or religious bigot; ur manners attract...

leemarhsparkz:
**

Nice one leemah

AdeSuave:

Davivah, if only what?
Care to share?

Don't mind me; its temptation

AdeSuave:

Davivah, if only what?
Care to share?

Don't mind me; its temptation. lol

maclatunji:


I am beginning to wish I am taken you know.

@Tayras, you are appreciated. Allah knows best and may he grant us the best spouses (Ameen).

Shukran yah Akhi; Ameen to your du'a

AdeSuave:


Thanks sissie
Don't worry I won't tell anyone you inspired me

U just did

Sissie:


Learning isn't had, a local tailor can help, and you can contact me to learn the short cut method

@Sissie,I know how to sew too; just not perfect yet
#hautecouture; its fun being a seamstress

AdeSuave:
Hijabefy this and you are good to go

So lovely, if only.....

Barakallahu fik on that the use of hijab; may Allah(swt) ease the rest of your ways.

The dresses are really gorgeous; but to observe the real hijab; I prefer to wear those under Khimar(long hijab) cos I love tight fitting clothes

baba11:
You must be really brainy be that oooo....that aparts,I hop you are not here to derail our thread because I can deduce from your profile that you're just registering today....are you f or m#identityconceal.....

Muslim Sis; change of name n email,I get stalkers

baba11:
so do you wanna tell me that you haven't been with any guy prior now....I doubt you...even as close to you as blossom friend # maybe possible sha.....

Ofcourse, alot of friends indeed but no string attached from my own side; was afraid of Commitment.....

Empiree:
why are you so worried?

i dont think she is; maybe she just want that smiley translated to words......lol