adams123:


President has to assent

Let the house vote for it and send the bill for him to sign. When he refuses them we can condem him. Until then any request for such should be directed to our various representatives. They are law makers, we should tell them to make the damn law.

poshestmina:



Unfortunately,it is the truth.
Buhari will rather have all Nigerians killed than Restructure or even make an attempt too.

Only God can come to our rescue as it is!

Buhari cannot restructure Nigeria. If you need restructuring, take it up with your representative at the national level. The decision can only be voted for by the national assembly.

Carchoice:
Dating an independent lady;
When you call her in the evening she tells about her day activities, you both gets to share ideas, solutions to problems, discuss productive ideas(note: there’s no morning call because she doesn’t have the time)

Dating a dependent lady;
She calls you in the morning , and starts telling you how she’s not eaten, needs money for hair, her data is not always enough, she’s always in need, endless need, when you have 20k in your account, 16k goes to her one way or the other just to prove your level responsibility
You are always worried because you can’t satisfy her enough. When her phone rings it’s no other than toasters. No one calls her for anything serious except “come and visit me”

I been there bro, it’s not a nice experience. Currently I role with women that calls me to share business ideas and needs my intellectual inputs.

If you are in love with a woman and you haven’t done anything for yourself yet, and you don’t know how far journey you still have and you are a NIGERIAN, sorry bro.

This was my kind of experience during courtship but sadly everything changed when we got married.

Any single guy reading this should take this very seriously. My marriage will be 3 years in December but I wish I never entered this union.

Doesn't matter how much you earn a non resourceful lady is bitter to live with.

gowonmaharajah:

brother deji,a beg what sort of work do you do that pays you in USD ?
show your guy way na..e jooo

I am a software engineer and work for a US based company.

funmisticqueen2:
so, who does the housework?

Cos if she does all the housework, then she is being productive.

My wife does a bulk of the cooking she also does the shopping from the market. I also help with the chores. I clean the floors except for kitchen and our bedroom almost every Saturday morning. Laundry is easy as we have a washer dryer. And yes she cooks very well.

Uneed2talk:
This was what I was hammering on in my topic yesterday. Inbuilt laziness, you hardly notice it if the person is still working. Your mistake was letting her stop that job. Her type mostly do well on a ready platform, they lack the motivation and perseverance to build from the scratch. Op, as long as you continue to provide she will scarcely get up.

That 4m was too much for a person who has never done business before, she didn't do feasibility study well before taking a full dive. The fashion thing may have worked but she couldn't be patient either and probably not good in the tailoring.

Stop asking her what to do, either you set up a business where another manages and she supervise the other people or you start something from small for her, put someone good like good hair dressers in a saloon and let it grow, stop throwing huge sums for something you are not sure or better still bring her into what you do.

You will have to be her push till she can move on her own like a "push and start car". The earlier you realise this, stop complaining and start pushing her the better because she's already your cross and I believe she is good in other areas, also thank God you have money to pick up again.
Very importantly, watch out for any of your child that may pick this trait from her and start pushing the child early to correct it on time.

You read my mind in your last paragraph, we don't have a child yet but I can't say proudly that I want a daugther that will be like my wife neither do I want to raise sons who think this is normal.

She is good in other areas, she respectful my family especially my mom loves her deeply.

sweetmelanin:


Not necessarily.

It's very much possible that a woman can just decide to be lazy after marriage especially when the husband is a high earner...

.. we don't even know if she has a maid sef so let's not make excuses for laziness please.

We have a 3 bedroom of which 1 is my home office. We don't have a maid and I don't think we need 1. Maybe I shouldn't have disclosed my earnings, maybe I shouldn't have given all she asked for in the early stage I don't know but i grew up in a home where my parents knew what each earned.

funmisticqueen2:
Your wife has become lazy and amotivated.

I thought she was depressed at first, but that isn't the case.

Does she use marijuana?

Or maybe she just wants to be a housewife and doesn't know how to say it. A lot of women are shamed for being housewives nowadays, but i personally see nothing nwrong with being one.

I think whay you should do is take her to see a psychologist. She can't be unproductive to society and be using your hard earnings to do trialband error with her life.

Or you could choose to 'lose' your job and cut expenses, including her monthly salary. While you pretend to 'hustle' for job. Lets see how she will react.

She's giving women a bad name.

That we broke shame men, doesn't mean women should be irresponsible leeches too. You are a good man op, because many men will start to treat her like trash and you haven't.

You need to start being firm with her and tell her no.

She doesn't do drugs. Each time I question her about just staying like this she dismisses it with she's still trying to figure it out. I happen to have a home office and not happy seeing her just at home day in day out.

ecolime:
I really feel for you dude. Just have a heart to heart talk with your wife.

Honestly, 3 years is more than enough to come up with a business/trade plan but you've still gotta encourage her and please don't give up on her.

BTW, my actual interest is the 90k upkeep expenses. What exactly does it cater for? Only feeding?

It's for our feeding I also know her siblings ask for help and I don't want her asking me for money to send all the time.

Thanks for the responses. I sometimes also feel I would have withheld somethings initially and not give into all requests. I just want her to have something herself, something she wakes up and looks forward to. I'm not asking her to do so because i want help with the bills, I'm lucky to have a job which pays in USD while I spend in naira.

I had to register a new account to post this to hide my identity. I apologise for the long post.

My marriage will be 3 years in Decemeber but I am becoming increasingly very unhappy with my marriage.

My source of unhappiness is that my wife has no or has lost any ambition in life. Before we got married she was working and she always mentioned how she was saving to start her business and all that. I was really impressed with most of the plans she had. After marriage she quit her job saying it was too time consuming which I supported.

She decided to start her business(a boutique) I gave her the money and after about 4 months without starting, when I asked, she said she was duped(4m gone). All efforts to get who she paid money to yielded no result. After about 3 months of her staying home I asked her what she wanted to do next and she said she wants to learn fashion design and try to build her brand.
We paid 350k for her to learn which she said she was done after 8 months. She got a shop, we equipped it and she started. I was really happy but 5 months down the line she said she was tired that it was not moving that she wants to turn the shop to a saloon, another expense and she had her saloon, shop rent was due after a few months and I paid. Barely 6 months after rent renewal she said she was tired(again) and she closed the shop. She was just staying home all day 6 months passed and no change.

I asked her again if she was just going to remain like this, she said she is still figuring out what to do next. 1 year passed same situation, stay home, follow all gist/gossip on social media(of which I'm tired of hearing) her friends 2 of them are also like her jobless and clearly not interested in getting busy. Most recently she requested I buy her own car. I told her we don't need 2 cars, I work from home so 1 car is enough for us she gave me cold shoulder for a few days because of this. Next anniversary is in December and she has already started searching which country we will mark the anniversary. Not that this is bad but her lack of ambition in life is eating me up. she seems satisfied just staying home and doing nothing. I don't know how to get her to be serious with life. I am far from happy in this marriage.

As she insisted, every month I give her 95k to run the home. Though i feel this is much for 2 people, I figured she might want to send something to her younger siblings and mum once in a while so I agreed.

If anyone has had deal with this or has any advise please kindly comment.