₦airaland Forum

Seun lemme tell me u ^{listen attively}, replying off topic is not a bad idea,i've been using some foreign sites which allows more than an off topic, u brought up this issue of a "

Sam Milla's Performance As Moderator?"

cuz i said he's replying off topics. Offtopics are fun so don't drive that away from us.

Reconstruct,  Rethink, Rero, Rewind, Reconnect and Reannounce that offtopics are allowed.

Shikena as the Girl from Kano dey say

WARNING!!!
if u're not married u've no damn reason to reply this thread, its for the wise not da . . .

Mine is the 22th of Octopus, but am not looking for anybody

ayusman16:
@Deola1, guess you're a saddist. You no get eyes for better thing? How u go talk say no fine babes for NLD? Damn! Look well my guy!

where dem dey? la la la la la la la. . . where re they? these ones wey look like Zeal wey sing "stress reliever". Look well ko Ring bell ni

He told me am replying offtopic, he blind abi he no see Sam Milla wey be Moderator doing the same. I don't gimme a damn about banning, na gold they Nairaland or Complet bullshit

@Ibk
sorry for damn what , its obvious u don't see alcohol in Kano

The Tiger
A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, "I have a confession to make, I'm not a virgin."

The husband replies, "That's no big thing in this day and age."

The wife continues, "Yeah, I've been with one guy."

"Oh yeah? Who was the guy?"

"Tiger Woods."

"Tiger Woods, the golfer?"

"Yeah."

"Well, he's rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him."

The husband and wife then make passionate love.

When they are done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.

"What are you doing?" asks the wife.

The husband says, "I'm hungry, I was going to call room service and get something to eat."

"Tiger wouldn't do that."

"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"

"He'd come back to bed and do it a second time."

The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love a second time.

When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone. "Now what are you doing?" she asks.

The husband says, "I'm still hungry so I was going to get room service to get something to eat."

"Tiger wouldn't do that."

"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"

"He'd come back to bed and do it again."

The guy slams down the phone, goes back to bed, and makes love one more time.

When they finish he's tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone and starts to dial.

The wife asks, "Are you calling room service?"

"No! I'm calling Tiger Woods, to find out what the par is for this damn hole."

Birthday Present
A wife decides to take her husband to a strip club for his birthday.

They arrive at the club and the doorman says, "Hey, Deola! How ya doin'?"

His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.
"Oh, no," says Deola. "He's on my bowling team."

When they are seated, a waitress asks Deola if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.

His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says,"How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"

"She's in the Ladies' Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them."

A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Deola, and says "Hi Deolly. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"

Deola's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.

Deola follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. He tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every name in the book.

The cabby turns his head and says, "Looks like you picked up a real bitch tonight, Deola."

Poor guy
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

@topic
No beautiful Lady in Nairaland, they're all ugly. i think the topic should be the most Ugly. . .lol

@SAM MILLA
watever. . . but i think its an offense commenting ^{OFF TOPIC}

@GASPER
its not ur fault cuz the moderator is involve

off topic!!!

tufe:
come to my room for a cheque

I love that, am sure u gonna give her more than she wanted.

sorry tyty, i just can't figure out the meaning of the thing.

@topic
shit

@topic
if she caught my eye. . .lol

rokiatu:
it is a hell NO for me but if my partner choose to keep that his choice but I will surely advice him to wax it off

wax it off? girl u're damn funny

tkb417
@Deola1
how was the game?

man cool, Man. Utd came with a game plan which worked for them, but they're mistaken cuz Messi and Henry is gonna be 100% fit for the second leg, thats enough for me.

football must be fair us barca, we really deserve to win by 2-0. . .lol

don't mind me man, the pressure is just too much for me

Siena:
Wow, I can't believe flowers mean hardly anything to you ladies. 

don't mind 'em, aje pako's

Man am God die if i dont off the T.V

1958: Awful clearance from Edwin van der Sar and Barca are suddenly three on two but Samuel Eto'o can't find his team-mate.

1956: Leo Messi drifts into the middle and plays in Andres Iniesta on the left but his cut-back is inches behind Deco in the box.

1954: Barcelona beginning to settle now, and they force three corners in quick succession. Leo Messi shows how dangerous he can be by dinking the ball past Ji-Sung Park and sprinting to the byeline. No one on the end of his cut-back though.

1947: MISSED PENALTY
Drama. What drama. United pile on the pressure early on and from a corner, Gabriel Milito blocks Cristiano Ronaldo's header with his hand. Clear pen. But Ronaldo plays it far too cool, clipping his spot-kick well wide. Huge let-off for Barca, who look very, very nervous. thank God o "deola1".

1946: Penalty to United.

1945: Awesome atmosphere. Awesome. We're under way.

1943: "This is it for Fergie and Utd. He'll never have a better squad. They must go through and win this year!"

@ztyle
u could see it but unfortunately 4 u, u're not female. . .lol

my chest is not hairy, am the ladies man lol

@poster
i guess u're the ugliest thing on earth no cute babe for nairaland, e-mail me am gonna get u some, ok? dont stress urself