TEACHER:
Jonathan
2+8?
JONATHAN:
March 28, Sir.
TEACHER:
This boy, I wonder how dull you are. Did I ask you for the Election date?. Sit down!
(turns to a female pupil) You Patience, solve
this problem.
PATIENCE:
Sir no bi me start d problem. Na Jega, dat boy
weh de sit by d door.
Make you sendam out, d
problem go solve be dat.
TEACHER:
If I send him out, what will I do to dull pupils like Jonathan and you?
PATIENCE :
Make you allow us repeat class, Sir.
BUHARI:
(Raises hand and cuts in)
Ankle, Don't agree sir. They'll always pail. Dismiss
them. The answer is 10.
TEACHER:
Very good! But give me 10 reasons why Jonathan should be dismissed, first. Remember he's stillthe class captain.
BUHARI:
1. He never speak the truth.
2. He is wicket.
3. He never ware shoes to the school.
4. He cheats.
5.He sold all the bulbs in this classroom, that's why we can't read when it is dark.
6. He dances even when the class is in trouble.
7. He over sleeps.
8. He keeps rats in the same box we keep our
monthly kwantributions.
9. He doesn't take correction and
10. Hates to be advised.
TEACHER:
Class, what Buhari listed are bad qualities of a
leader. So I will give you the chance to choose another class captain before the end of March. Is that okay?
MANY:
Yes sir!!, it is okay sir.
Patience: Deriz God oo

Hi,wanna ask if I can study G&C without a Lit-in-Eng credit pass in Eng....
Had mathematics,Eng,Govt,Economics,Yoruba nd 3.95 in ma NCE result.....fenks

Started Using mine in da year 09 nd av retrieved it abt 3 times....

I av always knw dis...Barca wil always send somebody out....OUCH....Jose Mourinho said it all 'If U wanna play against FCB,train wit 10 men...

sameer1212:
LOL.. If no be wickedness, hw will she avoid me on our wedn night?

Av U consider fatigue...she might be tired..

sameer1212:
Ain't do nothing... Bt if I letter start cheating on her, she shldn't blame me for it

Wanna cheat on ur wyf....I fear for U oooo

The wedding night is believed to be veryimportant for newly-weds to lay the foundation of their sex lives. In fact, a man once lamented that he had to call his mother-in-law to call his wife out because the latter had refused to have sex with him on their wedding night. He said he had to resort to that after his newly-wed bride refused to yieldto him after much persuasion. In the light ofthis,...I asked how you would feel if your partner deprived you of sex on your wedding night....Your thoughts...

IMPORTANT MESSAGE:
2015 ELECTION IS JUST FEW DAYS TO GO AND THERE ARE FIGHTS EVERYWHERE, KILLING OF INNOCENT PEOPLE,KIDNAPPING, HERE ARE SOME TIPS THAT CAN GUIDE YOU
1)DONT KEEP LATE NIGHTS
2)MAKE SURE YOU TELL YOUR FAMILY EXACTLY WHERE YOU ARE GOING TO
3)ANYWHERE YOU ARE BE AT ALERT
4)PICK EVERY CALL BECAUSE THE PERSON MIGHT WANT TO TELL YOU WHAT WILL SAVE YOUR LIFE
5)EAT OR DRINK ONLY AT TRUSTED PEOPLES HOUSE
6)PRAY BEFORE YOU ENTER A BUS AND BE SENSITIVE EVEN WHEN IN IT
7)DONT B A POLITICAL
THUG
ONCE YOU SENSE FIGHT IS ABOUT TO START,PICK YOUR THINGS AND RUN
9)DONT GET INVOLVED IN STUDENT PROTEST(AT LEAST FOR NOW
10)NIGHT PARTIES ARE EXTREMELY DANGEROUS FOR NOW.
PLEASE PASS THIS INFORMATION TO EVERYBODY EVEN YOUR FRIENDS THAT U DNT TALK TO AGAIN BECAUSE THIS IS ABOUT LIFE AND DEATH,POST ON YOUR FACEBOOK PAGE,TWITTER AND OTHER SOCIAL SITES,MESSAGE YOUR PPLE#

Dat every muslim is wicked nd an extrimist

Gd day brothers and sisters who are lovers of the round leather called FOOTBALL.....I was in my crib watching some football clip and I realised I've been heartbroken,disappointed nd I av also been made proud nd elated by my darling team
So,I came by this idea to ask wat your best and worst moment was while supporting ur football club......
Starting wit mine...as a chelsea fan,my best moment was Camp Nou 2012 wen El-nino past thru valdez which got Us to Munich nd my worst moment was stamford bridge 2009 nd andres iniesta's shot stopped US from getting to Wembley......
Share urs.

Real Sociedad have appointed former
Everton and Manchester United
manager David Moyes as their new
coach, the Basque outfit revealed on
their website late on Monday night.
Moyes was the Spanish side's top
target after previous coach Jagoba
Arrasate was sacked earlier this month, but negotiations dragged
on over the weekend and former Betis boss Pepe Mel was waiting
in the wings to take over if a deal for the Scot fell through.
Real Sociedad had said that a successor to Arrasate would be
named on Monday, however, and the Basque outfit confirmed the
51-year-old's appointment on their website.
"Real Sociedad have reached an agreement with David Moyes to be
the club's first-team coach until June 30, 2016," a short statement
read. The club added that details of the Scot's unveiling as coach
and the names of his backroom staff would be revealed on
Tuesday.
Moyes, whose turbulent 10-month spell at Manchester United
came to an end in April, becomes the highest-paid coach in the
club's history with wages of around €2m per year.
Real beat champions Atletico Madrid 2-1 on Sunday to move out of
the relegation zone and are currently 15th in La Liga, with just nine
points from their opening 11 games.

Having replaced Petr Cech as the Blues' No.1
goalkeeper this season, the 22-year-old has now put
pen to paper on a new five-year contract to stay at
Stamford Bridge
Thibaut Courtois has signed a new
five-year contract with Chelsea.The
club has announced in August that the 22-
year-old was set to commit his future
to the Blues in a deal which would
see his wages rise to £90,000-a-week,
having been confirmed as the club's new No.1 goalkeeper.
And Courtois, who has started all of Chelsea's games ahead of Petr
Cech so far this season, is relieved to finally confirm that he will
remain at Stamford Bridge for the long-term.
"I'm very happy with this new deal. It's really nice to have signed
this new contract for five years," the Belgian told the club's official
website.
"My future was already sorted but it's nice to know I'm going to be
here for another five years and now I can just concentrate on
playing games."
Signed from Genk in 2011, Courtois spent three years on loan with
Atletico Madrid, winning Copa del Rey and La Liga and establishing
himself as one of the world's finest goalkeepers.

The Nigerian government said power supply in dis country wil improve before the end of dis year....and it seems so...
The question is,what is the situation of power suply in your area.....
Mine has improved a lot....

Cars do have meanings:

BMW: Brings Me Women.

FIAT: Failure in Italian Automotive Technology.

FORD: For Only Rough Drivers.

HYUNDAI: Hope You Understand Nothing's Drivable And Inexpensive.

VOLVO: Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object.

PORSCHE: Proof Of Rich Spoilt Children Having Everything.

OPEL: Old People Enjoying Life

TOYOTA: The One You Only Trust, Always.

GOLF/GTI: Girls Only Love Fun / Get Them Inside

HONDA: Hanged Over, Now Driving Away.

You can give more names of other cars in the comment box below...

This issue is generating a lot of issues in my crib right now...
How do you feel when people pollute the air in your presence and what is the feeling like when you pollute in public....

The Chelsea boss says he is under more
pressure than any other manager because
"some have 10 years to win something" or
"arrive on time to collect the fruits off their
trees"
Chelsea manager Jose
Mourinho has kicked off the
Premier League campaign with
a thinly veiled jibe at Arsenal
boss Arsene Wenger,
suggesting he was afforded 10
years to win a trophy.
Mourinho arrived back at Stamford Bridge last summer
but insisted towards the end of the 2013-14 campaign
that his squad were not ready to win the title.
And now
he feels he
is under
more
pressure
to deliver
success
than any of
his
colleagues.
"Why?
Some have
10 years to
win
something,
I have only
two," he
told
reporters
on Friday.
Wenger famously oversaw a nine-year trophy drought
at the Gunners, ending with their FA Cup victory in
May, but has not won the Premier League in a decade
and was branded a "specialist in failure" by Mourinho
last season.
The Portuguese then went on to hit out at other
managers, perhaps old rivals Manuel Pellegrini and Pep
Guardiola, suggesting they have benefited from good
work by their predecessors.
“I’m not a very intelligent guy to choose teams,” he
added. “I like to work. I like to build. I don’t like easy
jobs. I don’t like to get clubs worked by other managers
before me. I don’t like to arrive on time to collect the
fruits off their trees.
“When I went to Porto, the season before they had
been fifth. When I went to Madrid, where was Madrid?
Where was Inter before I went there? And I came to
Chelsea [last season] at a moment when one team was
over and another needed to be born – and at the same
time I came to the only league where four, five, six can
compete for the title.
“At the end of the season you, the supporters and the
players will judge my work. And most important, my
boss, my owner, my board will judge my work.”
Pellegrini took over Manchester City last summer after
the club had finished second and first in their previous
two seasons, while Guardiola inherited Jupp Heynckes'
treble-winning Bayern Munich squad.
Dem don begin again oooo

Proud to be BLACK....

Chelsea Legend Didier Drogba has retired from international footbal.....Here is a statement released from drogba regarding his international retirement.....
Wishing him luck in d remnant of his year....

Am not saying all.....but majority..