DOMAWOLEYE's Posts
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 Jokes Etc › Re: LAFF UP Page...jokes Etal. by DOMAWOLEYE(op): 1:01pm On Nov 15, 2014 |
Title: Babes and their runs wahallah You take picture inside Rangerover sport, Infinity, Bentley,BMW X6, Ferrari,and on top Harley Davidson,then U want your boyfriend to believe You're not cheating.... Haba nah...Are You a mechanic? |
| Jokes Etc › Re: LAFF UP Page...jokes Etal. by DOMAWOLEYE(op): 1:00pm On Nov 15, 2014 |
Title: FORMING LEVELS A Bentley just bashed a Range Rover SUV in Lekki. The two owners came out, inspected the damage, exchanged business cards and left. #Swag |
| Jokes Etc › Re: LAFF UP Page...jokes Etal. by DOMAWOLEYE(op): 10:16am On Nov 15, 2014 |
snake boy[img]snake boy[/img]snake boy |
| Literature › Re: Restless...story Of A Survivor. by DOMAWOLEYE(op): 9:15am On Nov 15, 2014 |
adeh39:Lol! Adeh! i understand you! i like your choice of wise words. i promise to update faster its just that i do not want to update nonsense and spoil the story, that is why i delve into other stoties as the Spirit leads me. meanwhile i appreciate you so much. |
| Jokes Etc › Re: LAFF UP Page...jokes Etal. by DOMAWOLEYE(op): 9:19pm On Nov 14, 2014 |
Title: Let's Meet Life - Halfway At Least Let's Meet Life - Halfway At Least (Written by: Aruna Jethwani) Everybody is floating in a vacuum, so to speak. Or, they're living on a surface. We are strangers to our own self. The world around us, glorifying glamour, celebrating the superfluous and taken up with virtual images, has become so disconnected. When one reads of a celebrity or student taking her own life, it makes me wonder, why would anyone wish to end what is essentially a beautiful life? Loss of face, depression, weakness and fear of rejection by family and society are some of the reasons for dejection. All these point to one thing: lack of faith and stunted self growth. Says Dada J P Vaswani, "Depression is not what happens to us. It is due to what happens in us." However, it is failures and difficulties that make life so interesting, he points out. It is unrealistic to accept success and profit all the time; it is foolhardy to consider life as nothing but a series of problems. "Learn to live life as it is. Bend and you will not break!" advises Dada. During a crisis we do need emotional support from family and friends; but if such support is not available for some reason, it is necessary to find it within. Inner resource will help us detach ourselves from the maya of illusion. Remember the saying: `This too shall pass away.' Scientist and inventor Thomas Edison once remarked, "There is great value in disaster." It is true that disappointments, pain and suffering have made life difficult for many of us – but surviving those against all odds has also made heroes out of us. Like a tea bag, we tend to become stronger when in hot water. "For every hurt, for every plight, for every lonely pain racked night etc there is a reason. But if we trust the Lord, as we should, it all will work out for our good. He knows the reason." There is a deeper meaning in life which is not seen immediately; it gets revealed slowly, later in life. But impatient as we are, we cannot wait – in our haste we forget to live and so we lose touch with our inner self that could have given us immense strength. Insecurity grows by leaps due to lack of trust and that hinders bonding and so leads to absence of true emotional support. Add to this the excess of material values, which makes an individual self-conscious of his weaknesses. He suffers then from low self-esteem. If only we could tap into our inner source, we would get empowered to face all odds. That is why it is so important to make the effort to shake hands with life; then it will meet us halfway. Unfortunately, fear of failure haunts most people. We sail in the same boat. We seek support and security in a relationship, in materialistic risk coverage, in money and friends. But the basic insecurity lies within. It can be transformed only with faith; by mental and spiritual exercises. Perhaps the educational system should incorporate a curriculum of courage-giving courses to increase an individual's spiritual quotient. Half an hour of yoga, meditation and storytelling of heroes and great souls and such inspirational talk would go a long way in making youth strong and courageous. And to face the challenges at the ground level, let schools and colleges make it obligatory for students to do social service to the less privileged. (Presented by: Harish Nagpal, imhappy1949@yahoo.com) |
| Jokes Etc › Re: LAFF UP Page...jokes Etal. by DOMAWOLEYE(op): 9:15pm On Nov 14, 2014 |
Title: An english sentence John is a primary 4 pupil in one of the puplic schools so one day during an english lesson, this conversation took place in a class Teacher: okay class, who can make a sentence with "go" class: "me", "me", "me", Teacher: Ok Victor, you make the sentence, Victor: I go go church tomorrow, Teacher: Victor come what is that, correct yourself, Victor: Okay i no go again. |
| Jokes Etc › Re: LAFF UP Page...jokes Etal. by DOMAWOLEYE(op): 9:12pm On Nov 14, 2014 |
Title: WHO SHOULD BE THE BOSS  ??When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, "I should be boss because I control the whole body's responses and functions. The feet said, "We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go." The hands said, "We should be the boss because we do all the work and earn all the money." And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs, and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered. Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be the boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the boss just sat and passed out the shit! Moral of the story: You don't need brains to be a boss - any asshole will do. |
| Jokes Etc › Re: LAFF UP Page...jokes Etal. by DOMAWOLEYE(op): 9:01pm On Nov 14, 2014 |
Title: Flight Accident Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced: "Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain. Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to Toronto. The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth uneventful flight. So sit back, relax and ...? OH, MY GOD!" Silence followed! Some moments later the Captain came back on the intercom. "Ladies and Gentlemen. I'm sorry if I scared you. While I was talking to you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pant!" One passenger Yelled ... "For God's Sake... ... ... You should see the Back of Mine!" 1 Like |
| Jokes Etc › Re: LAFF UP Page...jokes Etal. by DOMAWOLEYE(op): 8:52pm On Nov 14, 2014 |
Ten Commandments For Life These are like the ten commandments to follow in life all the time: 1. Prayer is not a "spare wheel" that you pull out when in trouble, but it is a "steering wheel" that directs the right path through-out. 2. Do you know why a Car's WINDSHIELD is so large & the Rear view Mirror is so small? Because our PAST is not as important as our FUTURE. So,Look Ahead and Move on. 3. Friendship is like a BOOK. It takes few seconds to burn, but it takes years to write. 4. All things in life are temporary. If going well, enjoy it, they will not last forever. If going wrong, don't worry, they can't last long either 5. Old Friends are Gold! New Friends are Diamond! If you get a Diamond, don't forget the Gold! Because to hold a Diamond, you always need a Base of Gold! 6. Often when we lose hope and think this is the end, GOD smiles from above and says, "Relax, sweetheart, it's just a bend, not the end! 7. When GOD solves your problems, you have faith in HIS abilities; when GOD doesn't solve your problems HE has faith in your abilities. 8. A blind person asked St. Anthony: "Can there be anything worse than losing eye sight?" He replied: "Yes, losing your vision! 9. When you pray for others, God listens to you and blesses them and sometimes, when you are safe and happy, remember that someone has prayed for you. 10. WORRYING does not take away tomorrow's TROUBLES, it takes away today's PEACE. (Presented By: Harish Nagpal, imhappy1949@yahoo.com) |
| Literature › Re: Restless...story Of A Survivor. by DOMAWOLEYE(op): 7:27pm On Nov 14, 2014 |
PLEASE IF YOU LOVE MY WORK KINDLY VOTE ME AS WRITER OF THE MONTH AT https://www.nairaland.com/1804027/free-n5000-writer-here-every#24535726. THANK YOU. |
| Literature › Re: ANOTHER WEDDING.......A Play (sequel To Just Wedded) by DOMAWOLEYE(op): 7:25pm On Nov 14, 2014 |
PLEASE VOTE FOR ME AT https://www.nairaland.com/1804027/free-n5000-writer-here-every#24535726. THANK YOU |
| Literature › Re: Thorns In My Boot....a Soldiers Travail by DOMAWOLEYE(op): 7:24pm On Nov 14, 2014 |
HI GUYS! IF YOU LOVE MY WORK KINDLY VOTE FOR ME AT https://www.nairaland.com/1804027/free-n5000-writer-here-every#24535726 GOD BLESS YOU. AND THANK YOU SEBAK. |
| Literature › Re: Free N5000 For A Writer Here Every Month! Click To See How! by DOMAWOLEYE(m): 7:22pm On Nov 14, 2014 |
MY VOTES DIVENPEN PRETTYSPICEY |
| Romance › Re: My Boyfreind Wants To Lecture In My School Just To Keep An Eye On Me. by DOMAWOLEYE(m): 10:36am On Nov 14, 2014 |
08033473930. |
| Literature › Re: Thorns In My Boot....a Soldiers Travail by DOMAWOLEYE(op): 9:49am On Nov 14, 2014*. Modified: 5:38pm On Nov 14, 2014 |
Chapter 1 I am Ojo Makanjuola Stephens, a native of Esa-Odo in Obokun Local Government area of Osun state Nigeria. I am an only child of my Mother; I did not know my Father. He died when I was two years old. He fell from the palm tree they said. He was a palm wine tapper as well as a drinker. Stories has it that he usually drank half of his wine before getting to the market place, consequently he was always indebted those from whose hands he had collected money in advance. They say he was a good dancer and singer too, especially when he has had his fill of his produce. Mama refused to remarry, she could not withstand another man that could turn out to be like Papa, and so she buried herself in her petty trading and hair braiding. She sells anything, most especially seasonal farm produce and domestic Animals, if you want to sell your domestic animals, contact my Mum; she knows who wants to buy as long as she gets a commission out of the deal. I was her life; she lived for me even though she never pampered me. She showed me love and care within her lean resources. Mama would never borrow a Pin from anybody, she taught me contentment, her favorite watch word to me was “Remember the Son of whom you are” She taught me to stand my ground in the presence of bullies, she told me never to weep when my mates try to cheat me or oppress me. Whenever I got into a fight with my mate and I was over powered I wipe my tears before getting home while I concoct plan for a rematch. I can fight with a particular person ten times until I take my pound of flesh except our paths do not cross while going to the stream, farm, the Market or School. As a teenager, I had a small frame like my Mother so my peers were always trying to bully me, but that soon stopped when they realized that I never said die until I am dead. My nick name then was “wa pa” some thought it meant to “be cool” but it was actually coined from “wa pa mi l’oni” meaning “you will kill me today” any bully that beats me must be ready for my trouble for I would trail him to his father’s house with stones and any imaginable weapon I could lay my hands on until his family members come to beg and appease me with gifts or money. I was alone in the hostile world, no sibling to stand by me except my frail Mother. My Mother was tagged “Iya oloju kan” the woman with one eye. I was her lone eye and she would any length to protect me. When I turned twelve and in class one in the village grammar school, I started supporting my mother during the holidays by joining fellow teenagers to farm for money. About five to ten of us could collect a hectare of land to weed and cultivate for the land owner who guarantees our breakfast and lunch as well as pay for our service. We also go to the plantation owners to look for Job from the fruit dealers that buy the harvest from an orange plantation or mango plantation. Our Job was to climb the trees with sacks and pluck every ripe fruit on the tree and load it into Trucks that take the fruits to the northern part of the Country for sale. Many times we had encountered snakes and hostile rodents on the trees and such encounters had led to the death and incapacitation of some of us. After such hectic jobs, we retire home at evenings after collecting our fees, we then freshen up and hit the street after eating super, super was mostly eaten between 5 pm to 6 pm. We then go about looking for fun and girls. The problem then was that girls of our mate were looking at us as small boys; they would rather go with the older boys of class 3 and 4. So we simply go round the Village noting which girl was seen hanging out with which boy. The hang outs could be under fruit trees, by the passage between two mud houses or simply sitting together by the balcony of a house. These we spread around the School the next day. ............................................................................................................................................................................................ The proceeds of my labour I gave to mama as my meager contribution for housekeeping. My father owned no land, I heard he sold his portion of his family land long before he married mama. The only legacy he left for me was some old palm trees scattered in his other brother’s farm lands but my mother never told me about it because she did not want me to turn out like him. I still wondered what my mother saw in a man like my father, even though she never spoke ill of him to me, I knew she was not a happily married woman. Mama is a feeble Woman, she has a small frame and not physically strong, she is thin and gaunt as a result of sickness and excessive fasting. I used to wonder how someone with little to eat would indulge in marathon fasting. Mama could pray for eight hours nonstop. Many nights she does vigil praying till dawn, she does not shout or disturb anyone when she prays; she talks to her god alone. Her major prayer point was that God should protect her Son and make a success out of me. It is only during such prayers that she tells God about her not wanting me to turn out a failure like my Father, she begs God not to visit the sins of my Father on me. I attended one of her vigils with her and I slept off mid way, I was bored because she kept telling God the same thing over and over, no wonder her prayers were so long, I used to wonder then if God was that patient. My Mother’s problem started when she disobeyed her parent and married my Father. She is from a devout Muslim family; her father was the Chief Imam at the village Mosque while her Mother was the “Iya Suna” head of the Muslim women, so you can imagine the reaction of her father when my Father and his palm wine drinkers went to seek for the daughter of an Imam in marriage. They were chased off I heard. Islam and Alcohol is like water and oil. Her parent never gave their consent even after I was conceived and my father went with his family members to beg again thinking the pregnancy would pacify her father, rather the news of the pregnancy enraged the old Imam and he cursed and disowned my mother publicly. He did not forgive her amidst pleas from several reputable people in the Village till the death of him and his wife. After his death, my mother remained a persona non grata in her father’s house, I am tagged a bastard there and I can only point a finger there and tell someone it is my grandfather’s house, it was so bad that if any of my mother’s relation sees me or my mother coming along their paths, they change course and follow another route. And the man that put my Mother through all of these did not stay around to take care of her and her Son. |
| Literature › Re: Thorns In My Boot....a Soldiers Travail by DOMAWOLEYE(op): 9:43am On Nov 14, 2014 |
crislyn:Hi Cryslyn! You have won my recharge card for being the first to comment on this new thread. please reach me though my number on my profile. Thank you. |
| Literature › Thorns In My Boot....a Soldiers Travail by DOMAWOLEYE(op): 7:33pm On Nov 13, 2014*. Modified: 9:39am On Nov 14, 2014 |
Dear Peeps I am starting another story. It is a real life story flavoured with some fictions. Hope you will enjoy it DEDICATED TO ALL THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN VICTIMS OF CIRCUMSTANCES. By Awoleye Dominic |
| Literature › Re: ANOTHER WEDDING.......A Play (sequel To Just Wedded) by DOMAWOLEYE(op): 12:29pm On Nov 10, 2014 |
There is no Drama without an audience, the Monkey need Trees to display his Skills, the Flowers have no glory save for the Sun! I want to use this Opportunity to say a big "THANK YOU" to each and every one that spurred me to the completion of this series. as a matter of fact, I would not have completed this work due to my very tight schedule. but when ever I log on NL and I see your comments, I am moved to create time and scribble something down. personally I wish to thank the under listed wonderful People in no particular Order, but I must specially thank Crislyn and OnosJ for pushing me. BIBIE01 ONOSJ JOLLYJOY EPHHAY JEANFORTUNE SEBAK TITIGOLD SEUNVIJU OLUFUMMY02 BECKYTEE CRISLYN JASMINELILIAN PRETTYSPICEY (I RESPECT) COSTLYBABE ODEDEREJANET CHARIJEE MERCYLEE JEANFORTUNE MISSUNIVERSE DUNBLESSING PRINCESSSUSSAN. I can not forget Divepen for his numerous contributions in coordinating activities on NL Literature forum. Kudos Guys you all rock. God bless you all. |
| Literature › Re: ANOTHER WEDDING.......A Play (sequel To Just Wedded) by DOMAWOLEYE(op): 6:38am On Nov 10, 2014 |
onosj:OnosJ! My personal Person! Thanks for support through out. God bless you. |
| Literature › Re: ANOTHER WEDDING.......A Play (sequel To Just Wedded) by DOMAWOLEYE(op): 9:17pm On Nov 09, 2014 |
titigold:Thank you T! God bless u. |
| Literature › Re: ANOTHER WEDDING.......A Play (sequel To Just Wedded) by DOMAWOLEYE(op): 9:15pm On Nov 09, 2014 |
seunviju:Thank you Seun! You always got my back. |
| Literature › Re: ANOTHER WEDDING.......A Play (sequel To Just Wedded) by DOMAWOLEYE(op): 5:54pm On Nov 09, 2014 |
Beckytee:Thanks for ur time Becky! You rock! |
| Literature › Re: ANOTHER WEDDING.......A Play (sequel To Just Wedded) by DOMAWOLEYE(op): 5:49pm On Nov 09, 2014 |
olufummy02:Thank you Funmi |
| Literature › Re: ANOTHER WEDDING.......A Play (sequel To Just Wedded) by DOMAWOLEYE(op): 4:27pm On Nov 09, 2014 |
Patrick: Mama, talking of next month, I have a little constraint there, my Boss will be going on leave from tomorrow and I am the one to relieve him till he returns in a month! Daddy: My friend! Forget that your job! Let the Company find someone else to relieve your Boss, in fact they should start looking for a replacement for your position too because you are not going back there after your marriage ceremony. I would advise you tender your resignation now and start taking over from your Mother, the business you are taking over is worth over one billion Euros. Patrick: Jesus Christ! One billion what? (He shouts) Daddy: why are you shouting? Don’t you know what you are up against? Do you know the value of the two farms at Otta and Ikorodu? Do you know the value of the Tiles manufacturing Company at Agbara? Are you aware you have over three hundred Trucks in the fleet of Pato haulage and Logistics limited? Do you know you have over a thousand Staff to carter for? I am sure you don’t! Patrick: (Shouts) Baba! Baba Cook! (Baba rushes forward) get me a Chilled Heineken beer please! Daddy: and another for me biko! By the way where are these Cockroaches holidaying with you? Patrick: they must be inside somewhere, probably busy with their Computer games Mama: Please call them to greet us nah! Daddy: you have to leave this your small Pond that you are fishing in and join the big league! Do you hear me? Stop being a prodigal Son! Patrick: yes Daddy! Daddy: even your Wife has to resign and join you, she doesn’t have a choice but to assist you in managing a part of your business empire, after all what is yours is hers! Patrick: but she is working in her Father’s company? Daddy: her father’s company will be bequeathed to her elder brother but her husband’s Company is hers and her Children! (Baba returns with the beer, followed by Kachi and Emeka, they run forward to embrace their grand Parent shouting “Grand dad! Grand ma! Patrick grabs a Bottle of Heineken, opens the Cork with his teeth and drinks straight from the Bottle) Daddy: Cockroaches! How are you? Emeka: fine grand Dad! Grand Dad, Kachi said my mummy said that you are a wicked man! Patrick: hey! Shut up your mouth and get away from there now! Daddy: (Pulls the Boy back) No! Let him stay, why did your mummy say that I am wicked? Onyekachi: Grand Dad! Don’t mind Emeka o! My Mummy did not say that you are wicked; my mummy said you used to flog everybody when they were little Kids! Emeka: my Mummy said you don’t use to flog Uncle Patrick because he was the baby of the House! Patrick: Oh! Daddy I say these Children should go and play! Daddy: yes! Kachi! I used to flog any one that does a wrong thing! Onyekachi: What is a wrong thing grand Dad? Patrick: like making noise and disturbing me when I am busy, and also fighting with each other! Emeka: But Uncle you don’t use to flog us nah! Daddy: that is why I am here! Your Uncle called me to come and flog the two of you for all the troubles you have been giving him (Daddy stands up and begins to fiddle with the buckle of his belt, the Kids scream and flee from the room) can you imagine how their Mother has sown a negative seed into these Kids? Now they see me as a Demon! To say I was thinking of inviting them to come and spend the remaining part of their holidays with me! Patrick: lai lai! Don’t even think of it, they will not come! Daddy: yes they will not! And now I know why all my grand Kids don’t come to spend holidays with me! Mama: but you are a changed man now nah! Daddy: I am not a changed man my dear, it is only that I do not have that strength to be chasing and flogging any Child now, I don’t want to collapse and die in the process, I am an old man now. The only strength I have now is my money and my mouth. (Patrick’s Phone rings) Patrick: hello sweet heart? Fine thank you, I am at home, Daddy and mama are here too! No o! I was not expecting them o, it was a surprise visit. (A long silence) in fact I would have called you immediately they leave, that is what they have come here to tell me. Daddy feels I may bail out of the relationship! The emissaries to my Village? What did they find out? Oh thank God! My dear we need to see face to face, there is a lot to talk about! Wait till you come nah! Okay, just a tip of the iceberg, we may have to resign from Capital Communications limited! Yes the two of us! To manage my business! Yes, yes! It is worth over a billion Euros! (Bursts out laughing) (Daddy gestures mockingly as he drinks his beer, Kachi and Emeka runs into the living room and started running around Daddy’s Chair, Daddy catches Emeka and Kachi starts screaming that Daddy should let his brother go while he tugs at Daddy’s trousers) Fade ACT 8 SCENES 1 (Traditional marriage setting: everyone is cladded in traditional attire; some ferocious looking armed soldiers are stationed on guard. Clara is given a gourd of palm wine by her father who is resplendent in his Ozor title costume) General: My Daughter! Take this cup of palm wine, go into this crowd and give it to the man who is your husband! (Clara collects the gourd and dances to where Patrick and his friends are seated amidst calls and cat calls from the men present to give them the palm wine. She finally locates Patrick and hands over the gourd to him while she goes on her knees. Patrick lifts the Cup up and drank all of the content. There is loud ovation and cheers from the crowd. Singing and dancing continues till final fade) THE END |
| Literature › Re: ANOTHER WEDDING.......A Play (sequel To Just Wedded) by DOMAWOLEYE(op): 1:26pm On Nov 09, 2014 |
ACT 7 SCENES 1 (Patrick’s home: he is seen studying the Bible while Kachi and Emeka fiddle with their Computer games and quarreling) Patrick: look! These two rats! If you don’t stop making noise, I will lock you up in the toilet! Are you playing with your mouths or your hands? Emeka: Uncle, is it not Kachi? Onyekachi: which kind Kachi? Are you not the one shouting die! Die die? Emeka: yes nah! Why did you not die when I killed you? After all I died when you killed me Patrick: (shouts) common shut up! What is die die die? Who is killing who? Are you Guys assassins or what? Emeka: yes uncle! We are Ninja Assassins! Patrick: (Calls out) Baba! Baba cook! (The Kids pack up their games and scurries out of the sitting room) come and lock these Assassins up in the Toilet! (They dribble Baba as he attempts to catch each of them and they exit) Baba: (Panting) Oga! They don escape! These Children are too notorious o! Patrick: Notorious? Don’t mind them, please keep an eye on them, they are distracting me here Baba: okay sir! (Baba takes his leave, there was a knock at the door so he goes for the door, he opens the door and prostrates immediately) ha! Mama, Daddy! Welcome ma, sir! Mama: Baba Cook! Long time! How are you? Baba: Mama I am fine sir, ma! I am fine welcome! (Patrick’s father gives Baba a hand shake, Baba shakes with both hands while trying to prostrate and bow at the same time) welcome Daddy, how was your trip here sir? Daddy: fine Baba, how is your family? Baba: they are fine sir, thank you sir! (Patrick stands up and approach his parent) Patrick: ahan? Daddy! Mama! What a pleasant surprise! You did not even call! I hope all is well? Please come and sit down (They take their seats while Baba dashes off to re enter with a tray containing a bottle of Heineken beer and a bottle of chilled water with two tumblers, he places the beer by Daddy’s side stool and the water on the side stool by Mama, he opens the drinks and leaves) Daddy: (Pours himself a glass of beer and gulps the content, he gives out a large belch, refills the glass, takes a little sip before dropping the glass on the stool) Patrick! Is that not the Bible that you are reading? Or is it a dictionary? Patrick: yes sir! It is the Bible. Daddy: can you comprehend it? Patrick: Daddy, it is written in English sir! Daddy: did I ask if it was written in Igbo or Dutch? Can you understand what you are reading? Patrick: I am trying sir; I attend fellowships now, so I ask questions on issues I do not understand! Daddy: ask questions on everything! Ask on everything my Son because you cannot understand anything from that book you are reading except the spirit of God reveals it to you! Do you think that is a novel? That is the Holy Bible! The word of God! Mama: daddy leave this Boy alone nah! I told you he is a changed person now, but you still doubt me, are you not glad that you met him with a Bible instead of a junk magazine? Daddy:” hear you nah! How can I believe you when you refer to him as a Boy! Have you ever heard of a forty year old boy? It is you that has indulged and spoilt this Man thus far! Mama: I did not spoil him Daddy! After all he is getting married now! Daddy: if it were in the good old days, I would have sold him off to the slave traders and used the money to purchase a parcel of land for my farms! Mama: this is the twenty first century Daddy! Ehen! Patrick nwam! (Patrick My Son) how are you and how is our Wife? Patrick: We are fine ma! How is your health and how is the business? (Daddy cuts in) Daddy: yes! Business! That is why we are here! You are not ashamed to be asking a seventy six year old woman “How is business”? You can as well ask her when her funeral is! I have told her to share this business among your elder ones so she can take a rest but she refused, she insists on keeping it for her boy! (Mummy cuts in) Mummy: Daddy, cool down nah, it is little by little that we lick hot soup! Daddy: What? How dare you speak a proverb before me? A titled red cap Chief like me? Abomination! Don’t you know women are only allowed to use proverb on children and fellow Women? You are to learn proverbs from me and not use it on me; I have always told you this! Mama: ha! Sorry Ichie! Sorry Chief! Ehen! Patrick nwam! The emissaries we sent to Ohafia to investigate Clara’s family are back, the report is good, there is no history of madness or haunch back in their family, they are free born and from a lineage of great warriors! So you can go ahead and marry her! Patrick: emissaries? You sent emissaries to her family? Who told you to send (Daddy cuts in) Daddy: shut up! Shut up your mouth! Mummy’s boy! What do you know? That is the culture and practice of the Igbo people! How can you know when you have been busy hiding under your mother and chasing the Skirts of all her friends’ daughters! (Mama cuts in) Mama: her family will do the same to us, they will send emissaries to investigate your father’s clan too, and I don’t think there is anything to fear though because my parent did it before I married your father. The only thing they may find out is that our men are always very randy before they marry! (Daddy cuts in) Daddy: Shut up woman! Who told you that? Is that why you are here? Mama: Patrick nwam! I am relocating o! Me and your father are going back home to settle down in Owerri! We are tired of Lagos life, let us go home and die in peace! Patrick: (Surprised looks at the Parent one after the other to sense if it is a joke) I don’t understand ma! How can you just leave Lagos like that? At least you should (Daddy cuts in) Daddy: like how? Do you know how we came to Lagos in the first place? Look here Mr. Boy! I am going home to my People, they need me, I have a Villa in Owerri and a thriving business that will sustain me till I die, I am going home and I am going with my Wife! All my Life I have waited for you to become a man so that you can take over your inheritance and free my Wife! Thank God it is happening in my life time. Patrick: What of your Business and Properties here mama? Mama: Patrick nwam! All I owned here are yours; I am simply a custodian till you get married. Your father has already shared his properties in his life time but he said until each of you come of age and settle down without compulsion from any one, I should keep custody of the inheritance, that is why I never bothered you about marriage, it has to come from you, and now it has finally happened and we are glad and can’t wait to retire home. (Patrick stands up and begins to pace about the sitting room obviously confused) Daddy: Nwa Mummy! Mummy’s Boy! Why are you prancing about like a caged hyena? Listen, we have already visited your Wife’s People, and made our intentions known! The traditional marriage is next month at Ohafia and immediately after the marriage, we are off to owerri! Patrick: (Still dazed) how? You visited who? I don’t understand! Daddy: You don’t understand anything at all, you this my friend! Am I speaking Chinese language? Your father in law the Army general, happened to be in the Village when our People visited so we used a stone to kill two Birds; we have already collected the traditional marriage list Patrick: mama! Are you For real? (Shouts excitedly) Daddy: Foolish Boy! I am telling you something and you are asking your mother if she is for real! Stupid mummy’s boy! Mama: yes my Son! Your father was afraid you could change your mind, so we had to do what we have got to do. The list was collected by your uncle Anayo yesterday, even Clara is not aware of it yet until the father tells her |
| Literature › Re: ANOTHER WEDDING.......A Play (sequel To Just Wedded) by DOMAWOLEYE(op): 10:48am On Nov 09, 2014 |
ACT 6 SCENES 1 (Clara’s Office: movement of Staff to and fro, it is break period. Charles approaches Clara and offers a hand shake, Clara stares at him suspiciously and offers her right hand, Charles shook his head and grasps the second hand, the left hand, he turns her palm and reveals the twenty four carat gold platted ring with a solid diamond rock) Charles: wao! This is good! Beautiful men! This is pure rock men! Congratulations my Sister! (Yusuf rushes to the scene as he enters the office) Yusuf: what is that? What is happening here? (He sees the engagement ring on Clara’s finger) shege yarinya! Wao! Who gave it to you? Who is the Mr. Right? Charles: Haba Oga Yusuf! What kind of question is that nah? Who else would give Clara a ring if not our man? Yusuf: Our man? You mean Pato? Clara, is he the one? (Clara nods her head shyly) wao! I can’t wait to see him, Clara! How did you do it? Someone finally got Patrick to commit himself! Could you believe that, that Guy scattered two of my Cousins? Each came to visit me here in this Office and I never knew they had fallen into Patrick’s nest until the two started quarrelling over him! This calls for a celebration I beg! Oya oya! Come and buy us Lunch! Clara: Haba Oga Yusuf! Give Patrick a little credit nah, he is a changed man now o! (Mr.Ayo walks out of his Office) Mr.Ayo: what is this fuss all about? I have been straining my ears to eaves drop but I could not grasp the conversation well, what is going on here? And why are you all smiling? (Yusuf grabs Clara’s hand and shows the finger) wao! I can’t believe this! Patrick gave this to you? Clara: he did sir! Mr.Ayo: what else did he do? Clara: he took me to see his Family! Mr.Ayo: Patrick? (He shouts) Patrick took you home to his Family? Clara: yes sir! Mr.Ayo: seriously? And no drama ensued there? What about all those ladies he dumped before leaving home to work for us? Clara: (Laughing) nothing happened sir! Everything went well, in fact his mother was very warm and accommodating! Mr.Ayo: well, I must congratulate you my dear, you see, Patrick must not hear this coming from me but the truth is, you are a very lucky Woman Clara! Yusuf: haba Oga! Do you mean to say Patrick is a very lucky man? Mr.Ayo: No Yusuf! I know what I said; Clara is a very lucky Woman! Patrick cannot be said to be the lucky one because he never really gave a damn about settling down until now, but you cannot say the same for Clara because she is a woman! You see, Clara, men like Patrick are hard to come by, Pat is an open book! He does not lie, he cannot hurt a fly deliberately, and his faults are as open to everyone as the sky so when he changes, we shall all see it. When a man like Patrick decides to change for good, then you can sleep with both eyes closed. Patrick has seen ninety nine so what is a hundred to him? You just have to make sure the home is a pleasurable one to him so that even if by any means he derails, he will always come back home to you! Clara: ha! Oga that is exactly what the mother said o! Charles: Oga! Oga! That’s my marriage counselor o! Clara, do not take Oga’s advice for granted o! He saved my marriage o! Mr.Ayo: I am talking from over twenty years experience in marriage and with my studies in Psychology. So when are you inviting us for the real thing? Clara: very soon sir! Very soon! Yusuf: yes o! Yes o! (The men clap their hands for her)oya oya! Let’s go! Sir, she is taking us out for lunch, care to join us sir? Mr.Ayo: no! I have some things to tidy up, but please get me a pack of Ofada rice and sauce (He enters his office while the trio leaves for lunch) Fade ACT 6 SCENES 2 (Clara’s office: close of work staff are rounding up their days work, Patrick walks into the Office, Yusuf sees him first) Yusuf: here comes the groom! Patosky Patosky! (Hailings) Charles: yeah! Here comes the groom! Patrick: (Smiling sheepishly as he acknowledges greetings with hand shake) good day Guys! How is it going here? (to Charles) hey Mr. Six months experience! How madam nah? I am trying to be like you o! Charles: yes o bros! We see am nah! We see her finger nah! Men! That gold and diamond na die o! Solid rock men! Welcome on board big bros! (Patrick proceeds to hug and peck Clara) Yusuf: shege Patosky! Patosky patosky! Walahi you are making me jealous fa! Patrick: Sweet heart, are you ready? Clara: I am almost done honey! Let me just log out and shut down! Yusuf: Shege Patosky! Sweet heart! Honey! (He teased) na wa o! so una don change una names sharp sharp! Abi no be for this same office everything start? Patrick: Yusuf leave me o! Please is Oga around? Clara: yes he is. (Patrick turns to go towards Mr. Ayo’s office, the door opens and Mr.Ayo walks out of his Office smiling) Mr.Ayo: Patrick Kanu! Oko Iyawo!(The groom) How are you today? And how is work at Macaulay? Patrick: Oga! Good evening sir! I was about coming to see you sir! Well I am fine and work is fine too! Mr.Ayo: your Boss Mr. Achibong will be proceeding on his annual leave are you aware of this? Patrick: yes sir, he told us sir! Mr.Ayo: Are you also aware that you will act in his capacity while he is gone? Patrick: me? How? Why? I am not the one o! Mr.Ayo: (Laughs) why are you scared? It was agreed at the Tele- conference this morning that Patrick kanu will relieve Achibong Essien while Yusuf Kadiri will relief Ayo Badamosi. Yusuf: which Yusuf Kadiri sir? Me? Mr.Ayo: yes! You of course! I will also be going on leave in two weeks time. The management has decided that all H.O.D’s proceed on their annual leave before the peak season , all outstanding annual leaves must be cleared within the next three months. Yusuf: ha! Oga! So I will relieve you? I thought HQ will send someone down as usual! Mr.Ayo: why sending someone down when we have competent hands handy? You Guys are the next level of management so you are being prepared, so just put in your best and make a difference during your relief period. Congratulations! Patrick: hmm, Oga na wa o! Mr.Ayo: ehen ! Back to the matter! Congratulations Oko Iyawo (Groom) how far nah? Patrick: Oga no wahala sir! All is well, God has been faithful, in fact God has been good to me! Yusuf: Ha! God? How? Patrick: the Bible says (He is interrupted by the men) Mr. Ayo, Charles, Yusuf: the Bible? (They chorused) Patrick: the Bible says “He that findeth a wife findeth a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord”. Since I made up my mind to settle down with Clara, it is like a door of blessing was suddenly thrown open into my life! Good news follows me about! Okay just imagine this, I came in here now and Oga has given me good news about reliving my H.O.D. There is this Joy that has come into my life! If I do not see Clara in a day, then that day is incomplete! Charles: Patosky! Patosky! Patrick: I cannot remember I used to be a chained smoker! Charles: You don quit smoking? Patrick: was I a smoker? I can’t remember o! In fact the smell of it repulses me now, I went out with the Guys yesterday and I could not sit beside Tunde because of the smoke from his Cigarette, though I still drink once in a while but I can’t take more than two bottles in a day now. Yusuf: wao! See a whole Brewery like you! Heineken is about to lose a Customer here o! Mr.Ayo: Clara! What did you do to this Man? Clara: Oga! Nothing o! It is God o! Patrick: Oga, I never knew there was so much joy and peace in serving God o! All my chain of girl friends are fleeing one after the other once they perceive that I am now a born again Christian! Chorus from the men: Born again? Mr.Ayo: you? Patrick! Born again? Patrick: to God be the glory sir! This is a brand new Patrick sir! This is a new creation of God! (Charles leaves his desk and goes round Patrick in circles looking him up from head to toe, pays attention to Patrick’s, butt) Charles: indeed this man is not a new Creature! He is now Pastor Pat! Pastor Patosky kanu! Yusuf: old boy congratulations o! I am happy for you. Clara once again, thank you for the life of our friend! May your union be fruitful! Clara: Thank you Oga Yusuf! (To Patrick) Honey! I am set if you are Patrick: Okay sweetheart! (To Mr.Ayo) sir, we must leave now, we have some family members to visit. (Clara pulls her man after her as they exit) Mr.Ayo: Guys! Una dey see wetin my eyes dey see? This Girl don change Patrick life o! This is the work of prayers definitely! The girl carry Patrick matter hand over to God! Only God can change a man like this! Yusuf: Oga! If not that I witnessed the scenario, I no go believe am! Mr.Ayo: imagine Patrick quoting the Bible! Charles: he says he is a new Creature! Mr.Ayo: New Creation! Not Creature! Charles: oh! I thought he said Creature! That was why I went looking around him if he now has a tail or something! Yusuf: Common shut up! Six months experience! FADE |
| Literature › Re: ANOTHER WEDDING.......A Play (sequel To Just Wedded) by DOMAWOLEYE(op): 8:54pm On Nov 01, 2014 |
(Patrick yawns and slumps into s Couch, pulls his shoes, unbuckles his belt and loosens his tie, and begins to flip through the Bible Clara picks up the shoes and tie and takes it into the room. Baba comes out with a Tray containing a bottle of Heineken beer and a glass Cup, he places it on a side stool by Patrick. Patrick looks at the beer, then looks at the Bible he is reading) Patrick: Not now Baba, maybe later in the evening. Baba: Okay sir! (He lifts up the Tray and dances off singing “O se o Jesun”) (Clara returns wearing one of Patrick’s T shirts, it is over sized but it suits her well, she sits on the arm rest of Patrick’s Couch) Patrick: sweet heart, please tell me the truth, did you tell that your Pastor anything about me? Clara: of course not Pat, he doesn’t even know you exist. Why? Patrick: The Guy was just attacking me in the Church as if he knew me before! He kept picking on all my deeds! Clara: That is a good sign Pato! It means you got something out of the sermon! Patrick: No! no! My dear, it is the sermon that got something out of me! Clara: and what is it? Patrick: fear! It brought out fear that eventually turned to remorse! Clara: Then why did you not go out for the alter call? Patrick: I was ashamed, I actually wanted to go, my spirit was willing but my flesh was weak! I also was suspecting that you had a hand in the topic the man preached. Clara: I can never do such a thing Pat, never! But please do not be ashamed to submit to God so that God will not be ashamed of you on the last day. Patrick: yes! The last day! Are you sure you are not in conspiracy with that Pastor? Because he kept hammering on the last day as if it is tomorrow! He got me scared men! (Emeka and Kachi comes in singing a gospel tune, interrupting the Couple’s discussion) Emeka: Aunty please sing for us nah! Onyekachi: yes Aunty sing “Awesome God” for us Emeka: No! I don’t want that one. Sing “Miracle worker” Patrick: Hey! Hey! Oya leave here! Go and meet baba to sing for you! Can’t you Guys see that we are discussing? (They both run towards the Kitchen singing "O se o Jesun"  Patrick: sweat heart, I am tired of all these frivolities I indulge in, I want to change, I really want to be a better man, a responsible man, I want to be a good Christian! I never knew Church could be this exciting! And sweet heart, what a wonderful singer you are, you made me proud when you handled the microphone and you sent the whole church to heaven with voice1 I was so proud of you, I could not help but tell those around me that we are getting married soon! Clara: (Laughing out loud) you did? Do you know those you told? Patrick: I don’t know them, but at least now they know me (Laughs out loud) but on a serious note darling, please come and teach me how to be closer to God and be a happy man. Clara: (Kneels and pulls Patrick by the hand, he kneels too) Close your eyes and say after me Patrick: Okay ma! Clara: Lord Jesus! Patrick: Lord Jesus! Clara: I come before you today as a poor wretched sinner (Patrick repeats) I am not worthy to be before your presence for I am filthy and my soul is full of iniquity! (Patrick repeats) but your words say that we should come and let us reason together (Patrick repeats) you say though my sins be like scarlet, it shall be as white as snow (Patrick repeats) you said though my sin be as red as crimson it shall be as wool (Patrick repeats) you say I should confess my sins that you are faithful and just to forgive my sins and cleanse me from all unrighteousness1 (Patrick repeats) today father, I ask for forgiveness, my fornication, my lies, my covetousness, my drunkenness, father forgive every evil I have done against man and against your throne! (Patrick repeats, Emeka and Onyekachi sneaks into the sitting room and kneels by the Couple quietly) Father I promise to serve you and follow your footsteps hence forth, I renounce the devil and his agents. From today, I decree that I am a new creation in Christ Jesus! (Patrick repeats) come into my life and take total control in Jesus name (Patrick repeats) thank you father for your mercies and love, thank you for forgiving my sins, please give me the grace to follow you now and forever (Patrick repeats) in Jesus name Amen! (Patrick and the Kids says a big Amen, he opens his eyes and the Kids hug him one after the other, they hug Clara too and each give her a peck on the cheek, then they run out of the sitting room singing O se O Jesun) (There is a knock at the door. Baba rush out from the Kitchen to open the door, he has a long spoon in his hands, he opens the door, peeps outside and closes the door immediately) Baba: won tun de o! won tun de o! They have come again o! Patrick: who is there! And why are you screaming? Baba: it is those Girls o! Those Girls with tiny jeans and small Skirts! They have come o! God will not allow you People to kill my Oga for me o! awon oloshi! Awon ole! Stupid people! Thieves! Oga make I pour them water? Abi dem no sabi say we don get correct madam for this house now? (Clara gets up and goes to the door, she opens it and steps backwards, two skimpily dressed ladies walk in, they look at her with scorn before marching towards Patrick) Patrick: Oh Ella and Tricia! How are you? Ella: bros please cut the crap! What is happening to you? And who is this thin over there (Points at Clara) I have come here before and this your baba lied that you went to Church! Patrick: well as you can see (Shows the Bible) I am just coming in from the Church! And this thing you see here (Pulls Clara closer) took me to the Church! Tricia: You went to Church? You? Are you okay Patrick? Patrick: in fact Ladies, I have not been okay all my life until today when I encountered Jesus Christ! I am now a new creation! Old things are passed away and behold all things have become new! Please sit down let me tell you a story! Ella: Tricia! You dey see wetin my eyes dey see? Tricia: I think we are in a wrong apartment! Please let us go! (They turn and flee from the house, Baba bangs the door after them and started singing and dancing to his favourite song, the kids join him as thy dance around the sitting room) Fade |
| Literature › Re: ANOTHER WEDDING.......A Play (sequel To Just Wedded) by DOMAWOLEYE(op): 10:40pm On Oct 31, 2014 |
charijee:Thanks Charijee. Is that ur Baby on your profile? roftl! |
| Literature › Re: ANOTHER WEDDING.......A Play (sequel To Just Wedded) by DOMAWOLEYE(op): 10:39pm On Oct 31, 2014 |
Beckytee:Thanks Becky! Lovely eyes you have got! |
| Literature › Re: ANOTHER WEDDING.......A Play (sequel To Just Wedded) by DOMAWOLEYE(op): 10:37pm On Oct 31, 2014 |
dunblessing:No wahala Blessing! I don drop am for u. |
| Literature › Re: ANOTHER WEDDING.......A Play (sequel To Just Wedded) by DOMAWOLEYE(op): 10:36pm On Oct 31, 2014 |
missuniverse:Thanks missuniverse! thanks for ur time |
