realtalk19:


Hope you can take and handle her past maturely without judging her the way she did with yours? If not forget about it and don't hear what you will use against her for life except you are looking for reasons to hold against your wife. Everyone has a past

Nice point here.. The fact here is that I can take anything as far say na past.. Because me kwa my past is bloody.. Whats else could possibly be in the past that is necessary when she is hiv free and she has given birth for me.. This na the two important thing for me na.. So anything past no concern me.. Na abortion ni? I Don do that one before and I told her, na ashawo ni.. I Don do that one too and I told her.. Shey na going to babalowo.. I Don tell am that one too self.. All this na past and she was told.. So I deserve to know her past too especially when it's confronted like this..

Na girls just get this kind character in them..
They go just dey keep secrets anyhow anyhow.. Even necessary one..
They said in marriage no secrets.. But like they said that if you toast a girl without lieng you no go get the girl.. The same way that without secrets in marriage, it won't last.. But does that breaks the fact that lie is lie.. Or secrets is bad in marriagr

Richy4:

A woman hiding the identity of her son just to let married is deception... I see it as a breach of promise...I will never trust her again should I find myself in such situations..

As I said earlier, children situations in the past should be talked about during courtship... I mean that's the reason for that ( to know the person u are marrying both character and all). It was not really on the same league with OP's situation...

Hmmmm... Person wey no fit tell you say she had something with your close friend in the past when you both don't know when confronted gives you reason to think their are more things she is hiding from you...


Note: me and my wife are very cool, even since yesterday.. But the fact remains.. What would be in my mind.. What impression has that done in my head... That's is whats is important.. Make no one come here dey talk forget oo.. Its easier to forget when you get a clear picture of the damage than still being in the hang...

McDuncan:


I barely could piece together the incomprehensible gilberish you wrote, interspersed with emotionally-induced grammatical bloopers.

Your punctuations are incompliant with the standard expected from someone with the basic intellect required to engage in an enlightened discuss. It leaves me with no choice other than to conclude you're a gutter-bred bìtch with the poise of a street urchin.

Your post is clear, you don't need to re-explain. You're just an insincere bîtch. If you weren't swapping pen for dicks in your school days, you definitely would have sounded more educated or a bit more polished in your literal presentation.

Leave am.. Make she no go tell her husband things of the past when both of them are being confronted about it and the husband found out himself.. Na that she go know say action speak better than words.. Nonsense people giving excuse for their past.. We all know that it should not affect the marriage.. But oboy.. When you see say una Don jam the thing for road or future.. Oga tell your huzy first.. He go understand say na past

JovialJune:


You brought up a topic for debate? Seriously? Not like you're having issues and need advice? Just imagine smh....

I'm done here.

I asked her and she said she does not remeber after all questions. I lock up na.. Kept quiet.. For the peace na.. But what is the impression na(u wey be girl go think say it Don pass na)..

Na people like una go carry belle outside come marry... You no go tell your husband.. Then when your husband come dey suspect come ask you. Na past things ooo.. U go they talk say its not necessary

JovialJune:


Oga go and solve your marriage problems, no dey shalaye for us here, either you talk to your wife to see reasons why she shouldn't keep anything from you, or you lock up,

Your choice, your problem.

Bros.. You got a point. But the way you take talk am ehh.. Point taken: talk to her to see reasons why she shouldnt keep anything from you

JovialJune:



I don't care about your point, all you guys know and cry about is sex sex and more sex, does emotional weakness automatically mean sex? It's like you need Google and dictionary to define emotional weakness to you

Op clearly shows he is emotionally weak by crying and assuming what hasn't even been told to him yet, he quickly came to nairaland to complain and seek validations from nuisances like you just to create problems for his young marriage, yet you daft human with a -0 IQ chose to gallivant on my comment,

It is not my fault if the danging saggy schlong between your legs sums up emotions for you to hyperventilate on sèx cos it clearly defines and sums up the purpose of your life and achievement, it still did not cancel the fact that MEN ARE EMOTIONALLY WEAK, everything you do centers on and display high level of WEAKNESS,

If you hurts you that I pointed out this basic fact about men, go off yourself.

Wo.. Am not of the view to compare between man and woman who emotionally weak goor...
And then I am not emotional weak oo or crying my friend.. We are very much cool self... Even sincerely we had some rounds self. After I asked her. Its past.. No come here dey talk say I dey emotional weak.. This is how you all will be thinking that not telling him is the best because he go react or vex or just like you said divorce if he find out not knowing you are actually making it worst.
You don come here dey talk say I dey emotional weak and crying.. I brought up a topic..

JovialJune:
Men are weak and very emotional beings, ladies have no problem with who their boyfriend/husband's had sex with, but if reverse is the case, you'd see men hyperventilating, yapping spittle everywhere, wailing non stop as if they've been betrayed and their lives have been cut short,


Oga Op what exactly do you want to know, that your wife had an affair and had sex with your friend? Oya yes she had sex with him, sheybi that's what your mind is telling you abi? Yes it happened, so what do you want to do about it? divorce her right? Do that now, you'd finally have peace of mind abi....

All these immature adults getting married these days sef

Truth be told.. I could vouch that if it was a man ex that was brought up.. The man will just jejely tell the girl that something sup oo.. But its past and its past.. Then the clear will be cleared.. But when women sees it that its not necessary.. That it does not matter.. Wo. It does not matter oo.. Let's put this in another way..

If you got married to a girl, and then after several years of marriage, the girl found out that in the long past she and the guy cousin bro.. Had something in the past.. So make she no tell the husband ba because it not necessary just like you na dey talk? Because say na past?

Man normally are born with EGO... Wo.. If a man founds out his wife that she loved get HIV.. he loved her.. My brother.. Even if Doctor say she get hiv for public the man go deny am.. But if he does not know.. And the doctor said he public.. Believe me.. The man ain't gonna defend it with boldness




#respect

Richy4:
My brother, your introduction about your wife is so " Lomantic "

In as much as talking about the past help spouses strengthen relationship, bond and connection, how many dosage of honesty are u willing and prepared to swallow?

A situation where she tells you that her Ex is more trusting, caring and better in the sheets...that he does everything in the book to make her happy..she broke up with him because he wasn't ready for marriage..and she doesn't want to waste time... What will you do in such scenario??

I believe not all Exes are bad.. If u are expecting bad situations and she furnished U with his goodness,..Wetin u go come do? Or do u intend spending the rest of your life trying to measure up or being jealous of a good ex?... Please l will suggest you let sleeping dogs lie..

So your point now is if me and her after two years of this ex.. Got married and she finds out that that her ex is a very close friend of mine.. She should just be mute baa.. And keep silent.. then I find out there is a link between two of them both.. And I confronted her to know.. She replies.. I don't remeber.. That would be okay.. The point is irrespective of it being a past bro.. And it not having bearings in the present or marriage.. THE MAN HAS TO KNOW.. because the guy is a close friend to him and the past was brought to present.. But if they are not close.. Then it's a difference case..

I have heard you all.. But the truth is that no matter the answer she gives me.. It will bring no bearing to the present.. But let's tell ourself the realistic truth.. I need to know.. Because it was past but we were confronted with it in our future(by the girl finding out she is my friend) . So she had to be straight..

In my perception.. Mens have EGO.. and sometimes to protect our Ego.. We need to know some certain things.. Now let me put it like this now.. If my friend mistakenly made statement like them both in the future. Definatly I will defined my wife in front of me.. But tell me the impression.. The impression will definatly be different from me getting to know it from my wife than from the guy.


To the guy saying if I had have sex in the past that I am definatly no different. That its past .. Wo. I dey even Bleep ashawo self before I hands down getting married and since then I stopped.. But I told all this about everything without leaving stone untouched.. Even when I was toasting her.. I got to found out that her friend I once toasted her thou I did not bleeped her.. I told my wife everything about it...wo.. Imagine.. I even told her and showed her one girl I had something with in the past on our wedding when I surprising saw her in the wedding

We are all progressing.. But my opinion is that when you are married, you won't talk about all your past because definatly I did not tell her anything .. Because of you want a safety marriage.. But when you are confronted about it.. We have to be open..
Because leaving him hanging ain't the best

Abeg no insults in reply

Well, coming to those criticising the way she was reffered.. Definatly if I should say my wife now some will come and be saying he said my wife..

There is this girl I have been married with for one year plus now.. One day we decided to go for a vacation to abuja.. In the vacation she met some of my friends..we sat down together friends things.. Some of my friends are still single.. On our way back.. She told me that one of my single friend face is familiar.. I asked her more about it and she said that she does not remeber what transpired between them both but she was certain that the guy once toasted her in school..(we all schooled in the same school)... I then told her that she should be open that it's a thing of the past but she kept insisting that she does not remember.. She told me.. Its a thing of the past that we are married now and that we should focus about the marriage.. And I was telling her.. Yes.. That is true.. But I need to know about her past when confronted and everything.. That she needs to tell me the truth.. But she kept insisting that she does not remeber.. We had this to an argument that she told me to go and ask my guy..

Now what would you. Advice us? Because I am of the opinion that the past matters when confronted with it.. But she was like it does not matter..

Please.. No one is perfect.. We are all progressing..need suggestion and advice