₦airaland Forum

A happy, committed, functional relationship requires time and effort. You have to take the time to understand who your girlfriend is as a person and make the effort to be present in the relationship so you both can be happy as a couple. According to the article “How Love Affects Your Health,” a woman in the company of a man she adores will feel happy, triggering the release of various hormones in her body, increasing her appetite, and doing all sorts of good things for the body and mind. You can elicit this reaction in your girlfriend one good deed at a time.

Listen. Choose to listen to her feelings during moments of conflict instead of waiting for an opportunity to prove a point or win an argument. Be willing to make the changes she requests when necessary and appropriate. When she’s talking, nod and give feedback to let her know that you’re listening. Allow her the chance to talk about her thoughts and feelings without judgment. When you listen to her, she’s more likely to listen to you in the future.

Cook dinner for your girlfriend. Instead of going to a popular restaurant, stay home and cook a simple spaghetti or ravioli dinner. Add herbs and spices for taste and pop open a bottle of white wine for added measure. If you’re unsure what to cook, ask about her favorite foods. You could also look up recipes or take a cooking class if your skills are a little rusty.

Introduce your girlfriend to new activities that she has expressed an interest in or a willingness to try. Plan a weekend excursion to a local camp ground or sign up for dance classes. Your girlfriend will appreciate the initiative. When you take the time to help her experience new things, she knows that you listen to her and that you value the things she wants to do in her life.

Pay attention to what interests your girlfriend and support those activities. If your girlfriend is an avid diver, surprise her with a therapeutic massage after a long day in the water. No matter what the activity is, show that you support her involvement and, if possible, give her gifts that relate to that activity. You can even join in with her and potentially learn a new skill when you work on crafts or hobbies together.

Maintain a friendly and respectful relationship with her friends and family. Invite her friends and family over for game night or host a pool party for everyone to socialize and mingle. She will enjoy being able to spend time with you as well as her loved ones. Women appreciate their many relationships, so you maintaining a good relationship with the people she cares about shows her that you’re invested in her happiness in different ways.

Apologize. When you own up to your mistakes, she knows that you’re invested in the relationship. Being humble enough to admit when you are wrong is a sign of respect. She will appreciate you being willing to talk about things like hurting her feelings and taking responsibility for your actions.

Source:http://www.don9ja.com/2017/01/22/how-to-make-my-girlfriend-happy/

For the most part, people want the same thing from a romantic partner. People want spouses and partners who are:

.Understanding
.Appreciative
.Respectful
.Caring and kind
.Helpful
.Trustworthy
.Positive
.Fun to be around
Relationships are difficult to maintain when they are filled with conflict, negativity and a lack of trust.


So, what does it take to maintain a healthy relationship?

People in long-term, satisfying relationships tend to do the following (this advice is adapted from Montgomery, Cole and Bradac, Harvey and Omarzu, Aron and Aron, and Canary and Stafford’s work on Relational Maintenance):

Slow, but Consistent – Relationships work the best when people go slow and take their time getting to know each other. Whirlwind romances usually end in disaster. It also helps to be consistently supportive and encouraging. Inconsistent behavior causes misunderstandings and uncertainty.

Keep Things Upbeat – Relationships work the best when partners express a positive and upbeat attitude towards each other. Genuine displays of happiness and affection go a long way when trying to make a relationship work. By contrast, relationships fail when indifference, anger and negativity become the norm. In fact, even a little negativity can create a lot of problems in a close relationship. This does not mean that people cannot express negative feelings in a relationship, but that there are appropriate (and inappropriate) ways of dealing with one’s negative feelings (see talk about problems).

Approach Problems Together – Couples feel closer and are more satisfied with their relationships when they approach problems and difficulties as a team. Couples who take an US versus the PROBLEM, rather than a YOU versus ME approach to conflict are much happier in the long run.

Don’t Take Each Other For Granted – Over time, couples typically take each other for granted. At the start of a relationship people appreciate all the things that their partners do for them. However, as time goes on, people tend to expect more, but acknowledge a partner’s contributions less often. To keep a relationship happy and healthy it is important to show appreciation on a consistent basis.

Appreciate Differences – Relationships work the best when partners have a lot in common, but respect and appreciate the differences that do exist. It helps to appreciate someone for who they are rather than try to change them or how they behave (see relationship dynamics).


Keep Things Exciting and Fun – It is easy for couples to get stuck in a rut. Doing the same things over and over creates boredom. Falling into a routine limits conversations and it can take the fun out of life. Successful couples learn how to manage this dilemma by doing novel and exciting activities with each other as often as they can (see boredom kills). Sharing novel and exciting experiences gives couples something to talk about and it keeps romance alive.

Be Approachable – People need to be able to talk freely with a romantic partner. Sharing what is going on in one’s life and how one feels about issues is important to do. But, being open with a partner is not always easy because it requires spouses to tell the truth and to LISTEN to things that may be difficult to hear. Listening in an attempt to UNDERSTAND, not control, evaluate, or judge is critical to having an satisfying relationship.

plant growingExpress Commitment – Relationships work the best when partners reassure each other of their love and commitment. It never hurts to tell a spouse that you love him or her and that you will always be there.

Source:http://www.don9ja.com/2017/01/22/how-to-maintain-a-healthy-relationship/

Here are 4 situations and what you do when you find yourself in an office romance with a colleague.


1. The fling
Just started an office affair, tread more cautiously. You don’t want to set the office gossip mills abuzz.
What to do: Until it’s serious, hide it.


2. Dating the boss
A minefield: get together with the boss and you are sleeping your way to the top. And if you are the boss you’ll be accused of abusing power.
What to do: Switch your sights to someone more lateral to you. Or hide it at all cost.


3. Forbidden romance
Some offices have strict dating policies, but the forbidden fruit always seems sweeter. Ask yourself: are you looking for passion or promotion?
What to do: Follow company guidelines.

4. Dating the partner
Starting a business with your significant other is a good and bad thing. Good because you can discuss anything, bad because the personal and professional mix.
What to do: Cultivate smaller egos.
Nearly 5 per cent of workers who have had an office romance say they have left a job because of an office relationship gone sour.

Source:http://www.don9ja.com/2017/01/20/why-people-always-make-sx-in-the-office/

Survey conducted by condoms manufacturer Durex has revealed Nigerian women ranked most unfaithful in the world compared to other countries. According to the survey, 62% of Nigerian women have confessed to being unfaithful and admit betraying their partners.

From the survey it was also revealed that Thailand has the world’s highest percentage of unfaithful men. This results corresponds with the outcome for Thailand women as they rank 2nd position right after Nigerian women. 59% of Thailand women have admitted to cheating and being unfaithful to their partners.

The survey was based on interviews with over 30,000 people in 36 countries.

Malaysian men were recorded to have atleast 3 different sexual partners in their life while men from Singapore have over 16 which is the largest in Asia.

Russian women were ranked fourth while singaporeans occupied the fifth position.

Below is the result from the survey for unfaithful men.

First Position – Thailand – 54%
Second Position – South Korea – 34%
Third Place – Malaysia – 33%
Fourth Place – Russia – 32%
Fifth Position – Hong Kong – 29%

Personally i believe this survey should be taken lighly and should not be used to judge all Nigerian women.

But why do you think Nigerian women ranked most unfaithful partners in the world? Any specific reasons? Please share your opinions/thoughts and ideas in the comment section below. I look forward to read what you have to say.

Source:http://www.don9ja.com/2017/01/19/reasons-why-nigerian-women-were-ranked-most-unfaithful-in-the-world/

The U.S. Centers for Disease Control states that 35.7 percent of American adults are obese, with adolescents and children at about half that rate. Unfortunately, they expect that number to increase by 32 million in the year 2030. In order to try to reverse this trend, Americans must examine a number of factors that are currently contributing to increasing weight gain.

1. Food Availability

One of the main problems of modern society is the constant availably of food. We can walk down any block or drive down any street and find a fast food restaurant, convenience store or supermarket, ready to serve our every need. This availability makes it too easy to “grab a snack” or pick up a meal that may not be the most nutritious or calorie-smart for our needs.
2. Processed Foods

Many diet studies show a connection between some foods and ease of weight loss or gain. Processed foods are one of the worst offenders for weight gain, and some experts suspect that the additives and preservatives may be contributing factors. Potato chips are one of the foods that can easily lead to added weight. Sugar-sweetened drink can also add calories without adding nutrition. Even artificial sweeteners that many people consume to control weight can have a “re-bound effect” that cause weight gain. Processed meats like deli meats are also high in fat that adds weight. Instead, choose foods as close to their natural form as possible. Yogurt, nuts, whole grains and vegetables are all associated with easier weight loss.

3. The Connected Society

The computer revolution created a more sedentary lifestyle for most Americans. We spend longer periods sitting in front of keyboards doing Google searches and attending to emails, texts and tweets. Where we once moved from office to office to communicate with co-workers, we now simply send an email. Unfortunately, the human body was designed to burn calories by moving around, doing physical work and transporting ourselves from here to there. This clash of needing to move and needing to stay put to do our work can create a problem for our health.
4. Lack of Exercise

Because we have become more sedentary in our work habits and have more food close at hand, we have a greater need to exercise to burn those calories off. Only about 20 percent of the population has a regular exercise program, which means that 80 percent of Americans have not yet incorporating a plan into their daily lives. Many people dislike the whole idea of exercising at the gym, but you can still find ways to burn calories with walks, tennis, golf, dancing, swimming, cross-country skiing and other activities.

5. Quitting Smoking

Even some of the beneficial things we do can lead to weight gain. Quitting smoking has been an effort that has gone on for some time, and the added weight that is often a result may be adding to the obesity data. However, the benefits of smoking cessation are so important that temporary weight gain is worth the struggle. After you are safely off cigarettes, you can then tackle the weight gain with smart dieting and exercise.

6. Lack of Sleep

Most Americans live busy lives with work and family demands that often get us up very early in the morning and get us into bed late at night. Researchers are finding these disturbances in sleep patterns can be associated with weight gain. They find that though their metabolic rate may not be different, the sleep-deprived group tended to consumer more calories during the day. It may be that people eat to compensate for feelings of fatigue from lack of sleep. To prevent this effect from inadequate sleep, try to get at least 7 hours of sleep per night.

There are many reasons why people are getting fatter these days, but one of the biggest problems is junk food. If you want to drop a few pounds, make sure you have a healthy diet and you exercise on a regular basis. Do you know any other reasons why Americans are getting fatter?
Source:[url]ttp://www.don9ja.com/2017/01/17/6-reasons-americans-are-getting-fatter/[/url]

Remember when you and your wife were dating? It was really difficult to keep your hands off each other. You wanted her and she wanted you. That felt so good. It was awesome. There’s no better feeling than being desired. After marriage, and particularly after having kids, things have a way of changing. You are still ready to go every night, but she’s not. What happened? You feel like you rarely have sex anymore and when you do it feels like she’s doing you a favor.

You work out, you look good, but it doesn’t make a difference. You’re lost. This whole married sex thing was supposed to be different. Couples counseling might be something to consider for deeper insight. However, these 5 Reasons Your Wife Doesn’t Want Sex will help you understand and show you what to do.

1. She Doesn’t Feel Connected to You.

While we feel more connected to our wives by having sex, our wives need to connect first. You may have talked with her about daily logistics or superficial things. She needs more. She wants to be seen, heard, and known. The disconnect causes her loneliness. It’s like she’s trapped in a dungeon alone. You need to free her.

Action:Talk to her about her. Find out how she is feeling, her insecurities, fears, and struggles. Also share how you are feeling. Look at her–no distractions. Get tunnel vision on her. “Clear the mechanism.”

2. She Doesn’t Feel Sexy.

Her body has changed since having kids. She knows it and she probably thinks about it all the time, constantly comparing herself to other women. Even when she returns to her pre-kid body, I guarantee she’s still comparing–desperate for affirmation. The best place she can get it is from you.

Action: Affirm her. She needs to feel your passion for her in your words, body language and eyes. Tell her she’s sexy and why—particularly when she makes a negative comment about herself. When you get home from work, greet her with a long hug and kiss before you greet the kids. Look into her eyes and don’t be in a hurry to look away. When you’re out, direct your eyes to her rather than other places. Give her a look that communicates, in a room full of people, she’s the only one you want to talk to.

3. Her Sexual Appetite is Naturally Not as Strong as Yours.

Studies show that over the course of a relationship, a woman’s desire for sex decreases while her desire for tenderness increases. The problem is that our desire for sex stays just as high as always. Even at its highest state, her appetite might not have been as high as yours and probably never will be.

Action:Recognize this reality and be patient with her. Reach out to her with physical and emotional tenderness. That’s what she wants and needs. Try to meet her needs before your own.

4. She is Tired, Stressed, or Depressed.

Motherhood is exhausting, emotionally draining and stressful. Once again, depending on the depth of her anxiety and/or depression you may want to seek counseling.

Action: Give her some rest. Take the kids out for a day, run some errands for her, or clean the house. If she is stressed or depressed, rub her shoulders without her asking you. Give her a foot or full body massage. Tell her to kick back and relax. Give her music to listen to and light some candles. Take her tension away.

5. She’s Focused on Being a Mom, Not a Wife.

Women put a lot of pressure on themselves to be the perfect mom–to have it all together. They beat themselves up for every little mistake or lack of knowledge. They compare and can obsess on eliminating imperfections. Sometimes our relationship as husband and wife gets lost. That’s not good. Your intimate relationship is important and needs her attention too.

Action: You need to talk to her about how you feel. However, make sure you are not prosecuting or pressuring her. Encourage her about how amazing she is as a mom. Let her know though that you miss her, want her, and desire her. It might even be okay to use the word jealous here. Your biggest concern should be for more intimacy–a significant need for each of you

http://www.don9ja.com/2017/01/12/5-reasons-your-wife-doesnt-want-sex/

When my wife and I first got married, I was convinced that I knew how to be a great husband. However, it didn’t take long to see that I still had a lot to learn about caring for this beautiful lady I had chosen to be my wife.

Now that we’ve been married for over 15 years, I can honestly say that a good amount of our growth can be credited to the fact that we’ve learned that the other spouse’s needs are quite often different than our own. We’ve found that when we fail to realize what our spouse needs most, it can lead to unnecessary friction, frustration, and even resentment in our hearts towards one another.

As men, we are wired with different needs than your wife. While there could be many things included in this list of what women need, here are five of the top things I’ve learned that my wife needs most.

1. Sleep.
While the average person needs 7-8 hours of sleep a night to function at peak performance, women are naturally drawn towards needing more sleep than men. Many days, my wife will go to sleep before me, and also wake up after me the next morning, and guess what… it’s okay. Our wives need the extra rest, and we should be pleased for them to get it when possible.

2. Words of Affirmation.
While as men, we enjoy our wife re-affirming us and our roles, we need to make sure that we are constantly feeding affirmation into her heart and life as well. She thrives upon being affirmed by you. This could be by way of daily compliments, praise in front of the kids, or handwritten notes of love and affirmation. Your wife needs to be told that she is loved, that she is beautiful to you, and that she is valued.

3. Quality Time.
More than anything else your wife wants from you, she wants more ofyou, and specifically, more of your time. She wants you to talk to her, to spend time with her, and connect with her on an emotional and spiritual level as her
husband. The only way that this can happen is through intentional spending and sharing regular moments of time, prayer, and dreams together.
4. Detailed Communication.
As men, we’re satisfied with coming home, giving our wife a kiss, and hearing the words, “How was your day?”…“Good”, and we’re good to go. But more than your wife needs your lips at the end of the day, she needs your ears. She has plenty of things to say if you’ll actually ask questions and make yourself available to just listen. She also wants to know more details, not less, about you and your day as well. A good husband must learn to be both a good communicator and a good listener.

5. Non-Intimate Physical Affection.
Every day, your wife needs you to hug her, to give her a kiss, and to tell her that you love her. She needs non-sexual expressions of your physical affection. This might include brushing up against her as you walk by in the kitchen, wrapping your arm around her on the couch, or simply holding her hand while walking together through the store. All of these things non-verbally communicate your love. They communicate to her that she is yours, and you’re thankful for it

http://www.don9ja.com/2017/01/12/5-things-your-wife-needs-most/

If you want him to like you, you need to work on getting him to open up, and to be more vulnerable with you, emotionally.
Here are a few helpful guidelines to help him do just that without scaring him away.

1. Let him know why you value your relationship.

Talking about your feelings (even your good ones) doesn’t come naturally to everyone. So set a precedent. Let him know in clear, simple language what you appreciate about your relationship.

2. Share your hopes for your relationship.

It’s tempting when you’re in a relationship that is going well to think about the long term.
Instead of peppering him with questions like “do you ever want to get married?” “to you want to have kids?” “where do you want to live?” share your hopes for your relationship.

3. Share your fears for your relationship.

When you are in a romantic relationship with someone who is having a hard time opening up emotionally, it can be hard to share what you’re afraid of.
Resist the urge, however tempting it might be, to keep your fears and insecurities bottled up for fear that he will not be able to handle them.
You can talk about problems in your relationship without it being the END of your relationship. If you’re as open about the bad stuff as you are about the good stuff, it will only serve to make him feel even safer.

4. Make him feel safe in your relationship.
Taking the steps listed above is a great way to build a foundation of safety in your relationship, but there’s more you can do to encourage him.
Safety in a relationship means knowing that every fight you have isn’t going to be the last conversation the two of you engage in.

Always share what’s troubling you because in not doing so you create a tense environment and tense does not a safe space make.

5. Let him know that the two of you are partners in this relationship.

A relationship is an agreement between two people (maybe more than two if you are polyamorous). It’s a balancing act and it’s a partnership that can be hard work. But when it works, it’s the best thing there is. Let him know from the beginning that you’re there to balance and support him, and that you, in turn, expect the same.

http://www.don9ja.com/2017/01/11/5-ways-to-make-him-open-up-to-you/

Nigerian girls are special.

Nigerian girls love shakara. Even when they are helplessly in love with you, they still front and play hard to get. They will hardly come out to say the words ‘I love you’. This is probably because of the reactions Nigerian men give when girls try to toast them.

We’re not here to make excuses for anyone, though. Here are some of the things Nigerian girls love to say when they are falling hard for you. You better take the hint.

1. ‘Ode’

This is not an insult, it’s actually a Nigerian girl’s way of flirting with you.

2. ‘ I don’t want your girlfriend to come and break my head o!’

This is just her way of asking if you have a girlfriend.

3. ‘Is there light in your house?’

This means they want to come over to your house and hang out, but they’re looking for an excuse.

4. ‘Big head’

Sometimes, instead of calling you ‘ode’, they’ll use ‘big head’ as a term of endearment.

5. ‘You can’t even call somebody’

This one is code for ‘I miss you’.

6. ‘Go away jare’

If you know what’s good for you, better stay. Nigerian girls are the queens of reverse psychology.

7. ‘Won’t you come and take me out?’

Her way of saying, ‘when are we going on a date?’

8. ‘You just forgot about me’

Another way of saying ‘ I miss you’.

9. ‘Have you eaten?’

If she asks you this, she really cares about you.

10. ‘I hate you’

If she says this, then she’s head over heels in love with you.

Source:http://www.don9ja.com/2017/01/11/2054/

Sweet black couple talking on floor

Frustrated because the man in your life is oblivious to what makes your libido soar? Don’t hide unsatisfied under the duvet. Wish you had a more satisfying s3x life? Unveil in this article is the six most common things that women wish men knew about s3x.

We can’t turn our libidos on like a light switch: Guys seem ready for s3x anytime, anywhere, but for most women it’s not so easy. “Men can get erections from their genitals brushing against their clothing, they might expect that women can get aroused quickly when actually it takes much longer, and it’s not just about the physical, the mental stuff has to be in place, too.” The mental weight from daily stresses such as work deadlines and household duties can negatively impact a woman’s s3xual appetite. Most men are able to ignore such worries and dive right in, creating a situation where they can’t understand why their partner doesn’t automatically jump into a steamy clinch, too.

S3x isn’t over when you have an orgasm: Just because men have reached completion doesn’t mean that the s3xual escapade is over. You just assume that it’s over and that’s unfair to women.

Women aren’t all the same, ask what we would like in bed: Do have the feeling that your guy has used the same moves on every partner that he’s ever had? Does he assume that what works on another woman, works on you, too? Sorry, ladies. You might have to accept some of the blame for this one. Women don’t often tell their partners how things make them feel. They want their partners to be mind readers, men could use help in terms of honest communication.

We’re visual, too: Women primp, pose and pluck themselves into $exual perfection. Lingerie, perfume and questionable personal hygiene. A little more effort would be appreciated, male partners should be reminded that women are visual, too. Men, take note! “Take care of yourself. That stubble that looks so cool is not so great for making out, or receiving 0ral s3x. Manly fingernails can hurt when you’re manually stimulating your partner. A man’s attention to personal hygiene is a big turn-on for a woman.

An orgasm through penetration isn’t the be all and end all: Men think that women should always have an orgasm. In movies and P0rnography, women are having orgasms at the drop of a hat, so men are getting an unrealistic picture of what women’s orgasms are really like. For many women, orgasms can be difficult to achieve, and their partner might take it personally if she can’t have one. It’s crazy for men to think that they must give their partners an orgasm; they should banish it from their thoughts because it puts pressure on them to be s3xual dynamos, and it puts pressure on their female partners to perform or it leads women to faking which doesn’t help anybody.
Source:http://www.don9ja.com/2017/01/09/five-things-women-want-men-to-know-about-sx/

1. See if she makes an effort to be around you.

2. She seems to be staring at you a lot.

3. She often compliments you; having something nice to say about your look, the clothes you have on, etc.

4. She calls and texts you. [She’s most likely thinking about you all the time]

5. She tries to make friends with your friends. [If she’s making real effort to hang out with the guys you are always with, that could be her way of reaching out]

6. She always tries very hard to ignore you. [and fails woefully most times]

7. Her friends are always super psyched whenever the two of you are together. [She talks about you almost all the time]

8. She wants to be in selfies and pictures with you. [It’s a thing with millennials]

9. She agrees to do almost anything you suggest.

ALSO: She might also want to be in the same selfies and pictures as you (Blavity)

10. She doesn’t talk about other guys around you.

11. She’s made it clear that she is single and asks you if you are, too.

12. She blatantly flirts with you. [Since you have decided not to do anything.]

Source:http://www.don9ja.com/2017/01/09/12-signs-that-a-girl-wants-you-to-ask-her-out/

Every girl wants to know how to be beautiful. Every lady desires to be a beauty princess for her man. Moist, tender and soft lips are the cutest attribute of feminine beauty. Here, I’m sharing with you some simple beauty tips and tricks for the beauty of your lips. Using these little secrets you will get heavenly soft and kissable lips you’ve always wanted. Let’s begin:

Here is a very simple and easy tip to keep your lips healthy and smooth:

Massage your lips daily for couple of minutes (for example, every evening) with a simple, clean tooth brush. Moisturise your lips directly after this massage, using your favorite lip balm or just olive oil. If you include this simple ritual into your daily routine, you can forget about chubby and dry lips forever.

Before bed time apply some coconut oil or olive oil on your lips; you can also use an eye cream instead, if you don’t have anything else at hand – it will make a wonderful job hydrating and softening your lips.

Simple, yet effective lip makeup tips and tricks

If you want your lipstick to last longer – apply a lip pencil of similar to your lips color all over your lips first and then, only, apply your lipstick.

While testing a lipstick in the shop, apply it on the tip of your finger, instead of applying it on the back of your hand, because the texture and the color of your finger tips are closer to the natural texture and color of lips. Never apply a lipstick tester from the shop directly on your lips – it’s very unhygienic!

If you are in a hurry and you need a quick, yet fresh makeup, try to dab some lipstick on your lips using your finger and then, apply on your cheeks what’s left as a blush. This way you will get very fresh, harmonious and effortless look very quickly.

To keep your lipstick off your teeth try this trick: after you’ve applied your favourite lipstick – pop your index finger into your mouth and then, slowly pull it out, the excess lipstick will come off your finger, leaving your teeth lipstick free.

If you have a romantic date, where you will be drinking wine or champagne in a lovely company, this is how you can keep your lipstick out of the glass. It’s simple: discretely lick the tip of the glass before drinking, then, your lipstick won’t be able to leave a print. Try it! It works!

And to finish up these lip tips and tricks, I want to encourage you to experiment and play with colouurs. For example, if you have some forgotten lipsticks or shades that you don’t particularly like, try mixing them with other colours and create your own lipstick shades. So that unwanted lipstick can turn into the most desirable one.

Source:http://www.don9ja.com/2017/01/09/beauty-tips-and-trcks-for-kissable-lips/

Try these tips to help find the right balance in your life.*

1. Value yourself:
Treat yourself with kindness and respect, and avoid self-criticism. Make time for your hobbies and favorite projects, or broaden your horizons. Do a daily crossword puzzle, plant a garden, take dance lessons, learn to play an instrument or become fluent in another language.

2. Take care of your body:
Taking care of yourself physically can improve your mental health. Be sure to:

Eat nutritious meals
Avoid cigarettes — see Tobacco Cessation: You Can Quit!
Drink plenty of water
Exercise, which helps decrease depression and anxiety and improve moods
Get enough sleep. Researchers believe that lack of sleep contributes to a high rate of depression in college students. See Sleep.
3. Surround yourself with good people:
People with strong family or social connections are generally healthier than those who lack a support network. Make plans with supportive family members and friends, or seek out activities where you can meet new people, such as a club, class or support group.

4. Give yourself:
Volunteer your time and energy to help someone else. You’ll feel good about doing something tangible to help someone in need — and it’s a great way to meet new people. See Have Fun in Ann Arbor for Peanuts for ideas.

5. Learn how to deal with stress:
Like it or not, stress is a part of life. Practice good coping skills: Try One-Minute Stress Strategies, do Tai Chi, exercise, take a nature walk, play with your pet or try journal writing as a stress reducer. Also, remember to smile and see the humor in life. Research shows that laughter can boost your immune system, ease pain, relax your body and reduce stress.

6. Quiet your mind:
Try meditating, Mindfulness and/or prayer. Relaxation exercises and prayer can improve your state of mind and outlook on life. In fact, research shows that meditation may help you feel calm and enhance the effects of therapy. To get connected, see Religious and Spiritual Resources.

7. Set realistic goals:
Decide what you want to achieve academically, professionally and personally, and write down the steps you need to realize your goals. Aim high, but be realistic and don’t over-schedule. You’ll enjoy a tremendous sense of accomplishment and self-worth as you progress toward your goal. Wellness Coaching, free to U-M students, can help you develop goals and stay on track.

8. Break up the monotony:
Although our routines make us more efficient and enhance our feelings of security and safety, a little change of pace can perk up a tedious schedule. Alter your jogging route, plan a road-trip, take a walk in a different park, hang some new pictures or try a new restaurant. See Rejuvenation 101 for more ideas.

9. Avoid alcohol and other drugs:
Keep alcohol use to a minimum and avoid other drugs. Sometimes people use alcohol and other drugs to “self-medicate” but in reality, alcohol and other drugs only aggravate problems. For more information, see Alcohol and Other Drugs.

10. Get help when you need it:
Seeking help is a sign of strength — not a weakness. And it is important to remember that treatment is effective. People who get appropriate care can recover from mental illness and addiction and lead full, rewarding lives. See Resources for Stress and Mental Health for campus and community resources.
Source:http://www.don9ja.com/2017/01/05/10things-you-need-to-do-for-your-mental-health/

It is painful to be cheated on, especially when you are married and with child/children. How do you handle unfaithfulness?

1. “Talk about things you will not tolerate” Before everything else, when things are sweet between you two; set boundaries. Tell each other the things you will not tolerate: unfaithfulness, flirting, meeting up with people of the opposite sex privately, intimate communication with an ex, physical abuse, insults. Many couples collapse because they didn’t agree on do’s and don’ts. Agreeing on this helps to keep both of you accountable.

2. “Agree if this is a polygamous or monogamous union” Lady, as you are getting married, demand to know from the man what kind of union is this: monogamous or polygamous? Don’t assume. Some men, especially African men are forcing their wives to accept them to take a second or third wife. These men feel entitled to get another woman. Man, it is a shame to give a woman the illusion she will be your only one when you marry, only for you to see no problem taking in another woman later on. If you feel entitled to be polygamous, be clear about that from the beginning. Lady, let him tell you from the beginning before you say yes to being his. If he says it is a monogamous union, it is easy to hold him to his word. A man who ends up taking other wives later on, has that in mind even when he is courting you. Unmask him before you commit to him.

3. “See it coming” By the time you two are committing to each other, things between you are so good. The sex is great, there is passionate eye contact, warmth in the tone, intimate conversations and frequent quality time. Cheating doesn’t just happen. A man/woman doesn’t just suddenly find himself naked with another, it is a build up. When women say they sense their husband is cheating it is because they see it coming. To see unfaithfulness coming, look at those six things: sex, eye contact, tone of voice, quality of conversations, quality time and amount of information shared. If your partner is drifting away to another, those six things will change. Suddenly, your partner is secretive with the phone, busy, elusive. Unfaithfulness isn’t only having sex with another, but also emotionally leaning to another.

4. “Fix it early” When you sense unfaithfulness in your partner building up, act. Don’t ignore it. Warm your partner up to you. Spend time if you two have been distant, do fun stuff, ease off the pressure, be exciting instead of hostile. Flirt with your partner, get your groove back, make your partner admire you, do a make over on how you look, laugh more, be attractive, remind your partner why he/she fell in love with you in the first place. Do not attack; instead, attract. When you attack, your partner will drift away.

5. “Be sure before you conclude” Before you accuse your partner for cheating, have your facts and evidence right. The worst thing is to believe in rumors, your feelings of insecurities and assumptions; then falsely accusing your partner.

6. “Get tested” Get tested to see if your partner infected you with any sexually transmitted diseases. If you test positive, it will be painful but try to manage. If it’s negative, protect yourself.

7. “Confront with facts” Face your partner with facts. Let your partner know that you know about his/her unfaithfulness.

8. “Listen to explanation” There is no justification for cheating but still listen to your partner’s explanation as to why he/she cheated. This is important for your closure, if you are going to walk out; or to fully understand the situation if you choose to stay.

9. “Self analyze” Again, there is no justification for cheating but still look back. You two used to be a lovely couple, what went wrong? Trace back the events that led to this in line with your partner’s explanation and see the things you did. Were you too busy, were you denying your partner sex and using sex as a weapon, were there red flags you didn’t pay attention to, did you fail to protect your love, did you choose to commit to the wrong partner?

10. “Explain why this is wrong” Clearly let your partner know this is wrong and unacceptable. Get angry, vent out. You have every right to be disappointed. This is against what you two committed to. You have every right to leave your partner, to divorce.

11. “Do not revenge” Never do tit for tat. Don’t cheat on your partner to get back at him/her, that will be stooping low. Just because your partner was unfaithful, don’t be unfaithful too. Keep your values and principles. Don’t cut car tyres, stab, plan to kill, attempt suicide, or scheme evil. You are better than this.

12. “Stay or leave?” Make a decision if you will stay or leave. If you have a child/children together, decide what you will do. Will you divorce or stay? Either you are fully in or fully out. If the man is trying to force you to accept to be his first wife and then he takes a second or third wife; decide, is this something you want? Is this the life you want to live? He married you with the promise you will be the only one. You have every right to break this marriage, he no longer respects you.

13. “Stay and agree on change” If you choose to stay then make this work. If he/she is sorry for what happens and you you are willing to move past it, formulate a work plan. Re-commit to each other.

14. “Get tested together” Go get tested. Find out each other’s HIV status. Be safe.

15. “Forgive” Fully forgive your partner. Your partner’s apology has to be a real one. He/she needs to fully understand the wrong.

16. “Set rules” Agree on what you will do to prevent this from happening again. Agree, no more flirting, no secrets, no spending time with people of the opposite sex in private no drinking alcohol, no clubbing, no keeping wrong company, no hiring a house-help that is tempting. Agree to go for counseling, to spend more time together, to keep an ex away if the ex was who caused the cheating, to work on your sex-life if it has become boring.

17. “Work it out” Start afresh. Don’t keep bringing back the wrong your partner did. Be patient, be purposeful. Focus on your family, your kids together; make this work. Give it your all. Start on a clean slate. Renew your vows.

18. “Leave if it happens again” If your partner cheats on you again, or justifies their right to cheat on you and play; then leave with a whole heart. You tried your best.

19. “Officially separate” File for a divorce. End this. Agree on child custody and support. Close this unfaithful chapter.

20. “Explain to the children” Explain to yourself why you had to end this. Break down and cry but pick yourself up. If you miss your partner or feel lonely, get emotional but remember the reality. The reality is, no matter how good you are and how hard you tried, your spouse still chose to be unfaithful. Tell your child/children why this had to happen. Prepare them for this. Make things clear. Prepare to be single again. –

Source:http://www.don9ja.com/2017/01/02/how-to-handle-unfaithful-partner/

Love is like a garden. If you tend it and nurture, then it will grow and mature into a beautiful thing, but, if you take it for granted and you don’t look after it, regrettably, it will wither and die. Just like a garden there are things that you can do that will make your relationship even stronger and long lasting, so read our ten tips and it may help to make your relationship bloom:

1. Make time for one another

Our first tip on how to make your relationship stronger is – make time for one another. Whatever is on your busy schedule for today, it’s not more important than spending some quality time with your partner. Just a thoughtful question or a sympathetic ear is enough to show that you care and quality time together will help to build that lasting bond.

2. Meet your partner half way

One of the most important things that you can learn in a relationship is the art of compromise. You are not going to agree on all things at all times, but if you are both prepared to, and strive to find a middle way,both of you will be happier and you will appreciate the other person’s compromise.

3. Be honest and open

Another tip on how to make your relationship stronger is – always be honest with your partner. If you can’t trust and believe your partner, then who can you trust? Be honest and open with each other, especially in trying times, and you will be rewarded with a lifelong friend, as well as a lifelong lover.

4. Keep your promises

Our next tip on how to make your relationship stronger is – do what you promised. However insignificant they may appear to be, your promises are important, so keep them. To have a really strong relationship, there must be no doubt; you and your partner should be as solid and as reliable, as a rock for each other. There will be times when you both will need that reliability to fall back on.

5. Express your love every single day

Complacency breeds contempt, so don’t take it for granted that your partner knows that you love them, tell them! We’re all a little insecure at heart and it’s always nice to be reminded that someone loves us and don’t just leave it until Valentine’s day either, all year round affirmation of love is what will make a relationship strong.

6. Learn from arguments

Lifelong partners don’t ride roughshod over one another and ignore the things that cause arguments, they learn from them instead. Treat every argument, as a learning experience; it will help you to understand each other better and make you a stronger partnership.

7. Focus on the qualities that you love and learn to love the qualities that you dislike

Another tip on how to make your relationship stronger is – keep positive focus. When you focus on what makes your partner a wonderful person, your love will grow stronger and stronger. Love even those little annoying traits, as these are a part of what makes a person unique and special, so embrace those too and love the person as a whole.

8. Be together, but be independent

The romantic notion of two becoming one is fine for the poets, but the reality is that the strongest relationships are built on the basis of two unique, interesting and independent individuals, working together towards common goals, as a team. Your freedom to be yourself is just as important, as your commitment to the partnership.

9. Say what you really mean

No one likes a riddle and not many of us can claim to be mind-readers either, so speaking your mind in relationship makes things a whole lot easier. Having the confidence in one another to be able to say what you think is a sign of a level of trust, that you don’t find in less important relationships.

10. Give the same level of respect, love and care that you expect to receive

In a strong relationship, no one of the partners deserves any more respect, love and care, than the other. It is a partnership of equals and mutual respect is the cornerstone of a happy and healthy relationship.
Source:http://www.don9ja.com/2017/01/02/10-ways-to-keep-your-relationship-stronger/

Many women still seek the answers to these questions. Is it abnormal to fall asleep after intercourse?Not at all.The tiredness that appears after intercourse is a natural reaction of the human body to the effort it has made.

But most times, if a man does not cuddle up with his woman after he has had sex, and if he does not talk and if he simply lays on his back and goes to sleep, it is natural for a woman to jump to conclusions, thinking her partner is simply not satisfied.Their beliefs are wrong. Here are some real reasons men fall asleep after intercourse:

Fact #1 Sex during the night, especially when the human body is already tired, becomes the first argument for the state of sleepiness that occurs after having sex. The actual intercourse does not even have to be very ‘solicitating’. You should keep in mind that sex, by its nature, is very relaxing.

Fact # 2 Men ejaculate during orgasm, and the hormones that are set free induce the state of lethargy. The sleep sensation manifests more intensely than on a regular basis. Even if the tension of the body is a positive one, it is also a very big, almost exhausting one.

Fact # 3 Plenty of people tend to hold their breath from time to time while they are having sex. Its rhythm becomes abrupt and the pulse intensifies. Therefore, there is a lack of oxygen, which contributes to the need to rest – nothing serious, everything comes back to normality in the postlude.

Fact # 4 The state of sleep should be interpreted in a positive way, because it proves the fact that you have reached an orgasm and that everything has gone alright. In rare cases, men who are exhausted during and after intercourse, on a longer period of time may suffer from medical problems.

In this case, leave your inhibitions and self-pride aside and have a complete check-up.

Quick tip # 1 If you are looking for a quick solution, drink coffee before going to bed with your partner. We cannot say that it is a long-term solution, but it is also an effective erotic stimulus. Caffeine can be your main ally in the fight against tiredness; but it can also harm as it can affect the nervous system, making one over excited and under revved.

Quick tip # 2 Really refreshing is a citrus, especially a grapefruit, very cold, right from the fridge. At the opposite pole we find alcohol. Do not use it in large quantities; its effect is exactly the opposite.

Source:http://www.don9ja.com/2016/12/23/why-you-sleep-after-sex/

If you think you can’t survive without sex, you might be right. Here, all the fun ways you get a health boost in bed.

Why Sex Is Ridiculously Healthy

You know sex feels good and does wonders for your mood.

But did you know that it benefits your health (his too!) in a number of not-so-obvious ways? The reason, according to scientists, is that during lovemaking, our bodies produce a cascade of hormones (and other biological changes) that can ease pain, lower cancer risk, boost immunity, and even offset menopausal symptoms. Taking care of your health has never been so much fun.



1. Reduces chronic pain

Next time you have a headache, just say yes.

Stimulation of your clitoris and vaginal walls triggers the release of endorphins, corticosteroids, and other natural painkillers. As a result, you’ll feel less pain from headaches and sore muscles during sex. The benefit, which begins before you orgasm, can linger for up to 2 days, says Barry Komisaruk, PhD, a Rutgers University psychology professor and coauthor of The Science of Orgasm. In his research, he found that women could withstand painful pressure to their fingers while they were stimulated with intimacy gadgets; during orgasm, pain tolerance doubled. And self-stimulation through the front wall of the vagina, where some find their center of gravity, increases pain tolerance and pain detection thresholds by up to 50%, reports Komisaruk.

7 Reasons to Have Sex: Reduce Pain

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Reducing pain is one of the 7 reasons to have sex.

2. Lowers breast cancer risk

During arousal and orgasm, your levels of “happiness” hormones rise.

Two of these—oxytocin and DHEA—may help keep breasts cancer free. One study showed that women who have sex more than once a month have a lower risk of developing breast cancer than those who are less sexually active. And Greek researchers found that men who had at least seven orgasms a month in their 50s had a significantly lower chance of developing male breast cancer.

7 Reasons to Have Sex: Lower Breast Cancer Risk

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Lowering your breast cancer risk is one of the 7 reasons to have sex.

3. Gives your heart a workout

Cardiologists rank intercourse as a mild-to-moderate-intensity exercise that enhances heart health as well as brisk walking does.

As with any workout, the more vigorous you are, the more your heart benefits. The positions you try matter too; being on top is especially cardiac-friendly because it usually requires more effort. Orgasm delivers a bonus: At your peak moment, your heart rate may hit 110 beats per minute, comparable to what you might achieve when walking quickly or jogging.

7 Reasons to Have Sex: Work Out Your Heart

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Giving your heart a workout is one of the 7 reasons to have sex.

4. Protects his prostate

Catholic priests have an elevated chance of dying of prostate cancer, and studies point to celibacy as a factor.

In 2003, research on middle-aged Australian men found that those who averaged at least four ejaculations a week had a one-third lower chance of developing prostate cancer than those who had fewer. “When you drain the pipes, as it were, you have less clogging,” says Irwin Goldstein, MD, head of sexual medicine at Alvarado Hospital. Though the results of the study were clear, the reasons they occurred were not, says Goldstein, who calls for more research.

7 Reasons to Have Sex: Protect His Prostate

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Protecting his prostate is one of the 7 reasons to have sex.

5. Lowers stress

Got a big presentation coming up at work? Spend some time in bed beforehand.

A 2005 study found that men and women who had engaged in intercourse in the 2 weeks before a stressful day had an easier time while doing public speaking and some verbal arithmetic. During their presentations, their systolic blood pressure (the first number in a blood-pressure reading) increased less and then dropped back to its normal level at a faster rate than that of people who had no sexual relations or had other forms of sex, including noncoital interactions or masturbation. One theory about why this occurs is that intercourse requires more complex brain activity; another idea is that it stimulates a number of important nerves not triggered during other sexual activity.

7 Reasons to Have Sex: Lower Stress

is sex good for you, health benefits of sex, how to lower stress

Lowering stress is one of the 7 reasons to have sex.

6. Revs your immune system

It’s not just apples—sex helps keep the doctor away too.

Research from Wilkes University showed that college students who engaged in sex once or twice a week had 30% higher levels of infection-fighting antibodies than did their abstinent classmates. In 2004, German scientists produced similar results: Blood tests showed that arousal and orgasm in men increased levels of certain pathogen-fighting white blood cells. The effect is comparable to that of other stress-busting activities, such as exercise and listening to music, which also boost secretion of certain proteins that defend the body against infection.

7 Reasons to Have Sex: Rev Your Immunity

is sex good for you, health benefits of sex, boost your immune system

Revving your immune system is one of the 7 reasons to have sex.

7. Keeps down below healthy

A healthy sex life can prevent dryness—and the pain that comes with it.

Source:http://www.don9ja.com/2016/12/29/7-benefit-of-ex-to-your-health/

If you have ever wondered why some men send photos of their private parts to women, then this is your chance to find out.
Finally, ladies: the answer you’ve long been waiting for.
It was just a matter of time before we took the technology we have at our fingertips and made it all about s*x. I mean, we’re Hot, s*xual beings, so why wouldn’t we?
But while sending our partners Nudde photos seems totally acceptable, the whole “D!ck pic” thing just doesn’t have the same level of respectability. Maybe it’s because dudes on OKCupid think it’s the ideal way to snag a lady friend? I’m not really sure.
We tracked down nine men who were willing to not only admit that they’ve sent a D!ck pic (or two or three or more), but also tell us why, oh why, they do such things. I’ve yet to meet a woman who’s ever said, “And he sent me a D!ck pic and it was awesome!”
But while some of us may not be able to appreciate their, um, manhood, we can at least now start to figure out why the hell they do it.
1. It’s about pride…
“When I used to do it, it was often a mixture of pride and … pride. I only ever rarely did it unsolicited but I’d never gotten a ‘Why did you do that?!’ And I occasionally got a couple of “do that again, please,” responses.

“Now, as an older, rational man, I frown upon unsolicited D!ck pics because it’s just wrong, even if the only reason most men do it is because they hope you’ll show your tits in return. All that said, if a woman asks, it’s a request that should be fulfilled immediately because more often than not, it’s a test.”
2. It’s nice to get a compliment…
“Either I was asked for it or I knew that the person would respond positively. It feels good to have someone compliment your junk or tell you that they want it.”
3. I was hoping to get a photo of them in return…
“I’ve always thought of it as tit for tat. If I send it, even if they don’t ask for it, I assumed it would get me a Nakked picture of them. But I would like to point out that I haven’t tried that since I was 25 or so … so it’s been about five years.”
4. So she knows she gave me an erection…
“It has always been in the middle of some dirty texting and it made sense to share how hard she made me.”
5. I thought it would be an honor for her…
“Let’s pretend I might have considered it in my teens. Those years predate mobile phone cameras (or even digital ones) so honestly, teenage me would have probably considered it an honor for the woman to receive a large oil painting of my trouser business.”
6. It’s usually after I’ve been drinking…
“I can’t answer this because I don’t know why I’ve done it. It’s usually after I’ve been drinking and for some reason it just makes sense. The next morning I always realize it was a stupid and childish move but it doesn’t stop me from doing it again when I’ve had too much to drink.”
7. I was asked for it…
“Because I’ve been asked. Plain and simple. If someone I’m into wants a picture of my D!ck, then why wouldn’t I oblige?”
8. I’m just a guy…
“I’ve yet to meet a woman who has said that D!cks are nice to look at it. So maybe subconsciously I’m trying to change that thought with mine? It’s either that or I’m just a guy.”
9. I assume it might be erotic…
“Since it’s erotic for me to get a picture of any part of a woman’s body, I assumed it might be erotic for her, too. But my wife put an end to that after I tried that once when we were still dating. She still makes fun of me for it.

Source:http://www.don9ja.com/2016/12/25/revealreasons-why-men-send-their-pens-pics-to-ladies/

There are ways to be touched that are brilliant and other ways that are kind of blah. If there’s one thing we know about the way people touch each other during sex it’s that they often touch their partner the way that they, themselves, like to be touched rather than finding out how their partner likes to be touched.

Although there’s a lot of variability in how people like touch, it tends to be the case that men – whose genitals are covered in skin and less sensitive than women’s – tend to prefer rougher forms of touch. More thrusting, more vigor. Whereas women – whose genitals are more vulnerable and some ways and more sensitive in some spots (hello, clitoris!) – tend to prefer less aggressive touch. Women often prefer gentle tongue flicks on the clitoris or gentle but first stimulation of their genitals. Again, this isn’t always the case – there are no clear gender rules in sex – but generally speaking this is often how things fall out.

So when men and women get together, we sometimes find that men get “grabby” with women’s bodies and women are sometimes too soft or gingerly when they give hand jobs, with men asking them to squeeze a little harder. Lesson learned: rather than assume you know how your partner likes to be touched, ask him or her! Or try a few moves and ask for feedback (“does this feel good? would you like to be touched harder? softer? faster or slower?” etc). Got it? Good. Now go have some fun out there.

Source:http://www.don9ja.com/2016/12/24/sex-tip-touch-her-here/

Here are tips from couples who have managed to keep their sex life enticing through the years. From the The Truth About Love: The Highs, the Lows, and How You Can Make It Last Forever.

Sex often plays a vital role in reconnecting couples, but there is not enough said or written about the importance of it in long term relationships. Most of the hype is about new love, but the best life has to offer comes from true love. Public opinion is so slanted that we’ve been programmed to believe that deterioration of our sex life is endemic after the first two years of a relationship. However, this doesn’t have to be the case, and it is not for millions of couples.

Lovemaking wanes when it takes a back seat. Time pressure from work, domestic responsibilities, commuting, and social commitments make it a challenge to find quiet, private moments with a partner. Nevertheless, if you are too busy for sex — maybe you are just too busy.
So what can we learn from the fortunate couples who use sex as a gateway activity and have managed to keep their sex life enticing through the years? Here are some tips.

Be generous with physical affection. Loving touch makes your partner feel good about him- or herself, promotes closeness between the two of you, and activates endorphins that cause you both to feel calmer as well as connected. Couples who stay sexually active and happy do not limit their expression of physical affection to the bedroom. Important truth: men are as hungry for affection as women are.

Be seductive in the basic ways. The old standbys are still important. Be thoughtful. Do special favors. Lavish loving attention. Be playful. Show enthusiasm. Look your best. One of my closest friends, Noelie, says you should go through your closet and give away anything that doesn’t make you look drop-dead gorgeous. If nothing else, improve your posture, and smile. You can do that right this minute. Make sure your hygiene habits appeal to your partner. Lastly, learn to express your feelings during sex. It’s feedback, it’s erotic, it’s instructional, and it’s flattering.

Be sensitive to your partner’s needs. The reason most couples don’t have sex is that at least one person doesn’t feel attended to. If you are a person with a high desire level, a high-T person, you may not need a lot of attention to be sexually aroused, but your partner, a low-T person, may. Be willing to meet your partner’s arousal needs, and be romantic in the ways your partner prefers, even though it may not be your cup of tea. Bring flowers if they touch your partner’s heart; fold the laundry if it makes him feel loved. Let your partner be your guide.

Be responsible for your own orgasm. This doesn’t necessarily mean you do it yourself but rather that you take the initiative to know what arouses you and communicate this to your partner. Also, be aware that your partner may not always want an orgasm. For example, in their twenties and early thirties it is not uncommon for women to experience a surge of pleasure simply with penetration. This response is brought on by the release of oxytocin. When the vulva and vagina are stretched by the entry of the penis, it can give a surge of energy equal to the sensations of orgasm. Consequently, she may not feel the need to reach a climax. So, let her determine if she wants an orgasm. A man may also want to pleasure his mate without coming to orgasm himself. When each person is responsible for letting the partner know his/her needs, it takes the guesswork out of lovemaking, and avoids miscommunication and disconnection.

Make your lovemaking mutually satisfying. Many sexual positions favor the male orgasm and don’t provide enough clitoral stimulation for the female. Few women can reach orgasm by intercourse alone. Most need manual or oral stimulation or a position for lovemaking that provides the necessary excitement. The woman on top position allows the female to stimulate her clitoris — either with her fingers or the movement of her body — while having intercourse. The man’s hands are free for extra stimulation also. Rear-entry or doggie style intercourse allows for deeper penetration and is more likely to stimulate the center of gravity, which is a highly erotic area in the vagina. In this position, the man has his hands free for caressing other areas such as the clitoris, breasts, buttocks, thighs, scrotum, and testicles.

If the woman sits on the edge of the bed, this position sometimes allows for interesting contact. Or, having sex while seated in your partner’s lap can provide another variation. Having sex from the spoon position, with both partners lying on the right or left side with the man entering from behind, not only leaves four hands free but takes little energy and effort. MouthAction has come to be considered a staple of marital sex for many couples. As couples are remaining sexual long into later decades and require more stimulation, various forms of lovemaking have become more common and accepted. For men who may need more stimulation, MouthAction can not only be pleasurable but also bring his penis to a greater state of erection for further lovemaking if that is what is desired. Though MouthAction is a stretch for some individuals, you can work up to it gradually. Perhaps start with kissing different parts of each other’s body — the stomach, inside of the thighs, and then later the pubic area.

Break the ice. Sometimes just trying anything new will get you out of a rut and open the door to further adventure. It doesn’t have to be outrageous to simply interrupt your routine. It might mean having sex with your boots on or while you are coloring your hair. You have to start somewhere. Having sex with the lights on might ultimately lead to swinging from the chandelier. Finally:

location, location, location. Just changing the location of where you have sex can add new excitement to your love life. Make it a point to have sex in every room in your home. Then move to the car, the back porch, the deck, behind the bushes in the backyard, your mother-in-law’s bathroom. Then change the location of where you stimulate each other’s body. Instead of confining kisses to the lips, go for the neck, thigh, shoulder, fingertips (for further instruction on fingertip kissing rent Don Juan DeMarco and watch the opening scene). Let your creative juices flow.
Source:http://www.don9ja.com/2016/12/17/fine-out-ways-to-keep-your-sex-life-active-and-better/

S3@.x:’ can solve a lot of problems between couples, therefore, S3@.x:’ cannot be ruled out entirely, infact it could be what you need at that moment to take away your worries.

Here are 7 times when getting it on really is the way to turn your worries off.

1. When you can’t fall asleep:Who needs herbal tea when you have this holistic remedy for insomnia?

2. When you’re trying to move past a fight:He said he was sorry. You forgave him, and you meant it, but a part of you still kind of wants to smack him. Spank him instead, and within minutes, you’ll both be back to your D!sgust!ngly cuddly selves.

3. When work is stressing you out like crazy:You wish you could leave work at the office, but you have that big presentation tomorrow and you still need your boss to go over that report. Sounds like you need to schedule a meeting with your man so he can leave you breathless and thinking about anything but Melvin in accounting.

4. When you’re procrastinating: You said you were going to finally organize that wall in your closet today, and you will … as soon as you take care of this one pressing errand.

5. When you didn’t get a chance to exercise that day: There’s no denying that exercise brings with it a myriad of mood-boosting benefits, but on some days, gym time just isn’t on the cards. Not only does S3@.x:’ require both light cardio and flexibility, it leaves you with a glow that’s at least as noticeable as the one you leave yoga with.

6. When one of you is leaving town for a while: You’re going to miss him, he’s going to miss you, and you’re both going to be lonely and in different cities for a stretch. Forget talking about it, and let your bodies give each other the send-off you both deserve.

7. When you’re bored: Boredom is a gateway emotion that can lead to all kinds of ill-advised decisions, from going on an online shopping spree to cutting your own bangs. Make a little nookie instead, and avoid these unsafe, non-S3@.x:’ual activities. S3@.x:’uality is an integral part of being human. Love, affection, and S3@.x:’ual intimacy contribute to healthy relationships and individual well-being.
Source:http://www.don9ja.com/2016/12/11/7-things-why-sex-is-the-answer-to-your-problem/

S*x is an amazing experience many people hope to have every now and then but not many know that certain things are not allowed immediately after getting laid.

File photo
Straight after s*x you may be at your most relaxed, but there are three things you should never do after the deed.
“When the vaginal tissues have been lubricated, swollen, and rubbed against during intercourse, it changes how that tissue reacts to the environment,” Kansas-based gynecologist Leslie E. F. Page, M.D. told Women’s Health. “Primarily, you run a much greater risk of infection.”
So if you want to keep your lady bits healthy, we suggest you never do these things after s*x:
1. Soap-up down there
You might feel like you want to wash after s*x, but make sure you don’t use soap. Lathering up your lady bits can cause irritation and dryness and post-$ex you may even experience an allergic reaction.
“The v*gina is a self-cleaning organ, and needs to be treated very, very gently—if you wouldn’t put it in your mouth, you shouldn’t put it in or around your v*gina,” adds Leslie.
If you do want to scrub up use water only.
2. Forget to wee
There’s a reason why you always need to wee after s*x – it helps clear any bacteria that may have been pushed into your v*gina.
“[S*x] can result in post-intercourse bladder infections,” said Robert Wool, M.D., ob-gyn, “You can have some snuggle time, just empty your bladder within an hour of s*x.”
3. Chill out in a hot tub
While the idea of a post-coital hot tub dip might sounds nice, it could actually be very bad news for your v*gina.
“When your vulva swells in response to s*xual stimulation, it reveals the opening of the v*gina, which means you have a greater chance of infection,” said Leslie.
“If you’re in a hot tub with your partner, that means you’re exposed to the bacteria on his skin and anus.”
http://www.don9ja.com/2016/12/10/fine-outthese-3-things-you-should-never-do-straight-after-sx/

The economic situation is biting and many guys are vexing while as usual the ladies are expecting. I am looking forward to the day when ladies will offer to take their spouses out! Mtchewwwww! Their hands are as long as the neck of a giraffe! Oh! Did I just say that? No apologies!

The hustle is tight these days as the present ‘Oga at the top’ is not a father Christmas, unlike the past administration. So money is scarce. A significant number of Nigerians have to spend wisely. No more flamboyance, it is time to tighten the straps of your boot.

Unfortunately for you, that ‘babe’ you have been ‘eyeing’ will not look at your face if you lose your swag. Of course, there are other men flashing Ferrari at her while you are showing off with a Toyota Camry! Relax. Do not worry. You will sweep her off feet, not with extravagance but with just 10,000.

Read on!
Monday: Be a Gentleman:
Many people dread Mondays because it is perhaps the busiest day of the week. Be a gentleman on Monday and focus on your job! You can check on her by calling her.

Tuesday-First Impression matters
First impression matters. It is this prior perception that will determine how remote you will go with the lady. It determines whether you will get her to commit to going out with you! Get your swag on. Read Shakespeare, James Hadley Chase, and borrow lines from Maya Angelou’s Touched by an Angel. She will be wowed!

Wednesday: Pause:
It is time to give her a break. Do not call her, do not text and do not think about her. Let her miss you! It is difficult, but you will do yourself a whole lot of good if you are able to pull it off.. This break will stop her from taking you for granted or thinking that you cannot do or live without her!

Thursday: Buy her a priceless gift:
In a relationship, there is no way you will not spend money. However, you have to smart with spending on a woman who is yet to yield to your advances. She may be showing signs of being interested but at the end you are ‘On Your On’ (OYO)! But if youy really like her, buy her a thoughtful gift. A below-the-line gift. That is a gift that reminds her of you anytime she sees it! You can go wild by buying her lingeries! There are many affordable stalls around Lagos where you can buy thoughtful gifts!! Do not spend more than 3k.

Friday: Take her to watch a movie!
Ladies are the biggest pretenders in this world. Quote me anywhere! Abi na lie? I do not want this. I do not like it…story! As earlier said, politely get her to commit herself to going out with you. Do not ambush her with the movie stuff. You can Skype her, humbly requesting that you want to take her to the movies. Imagine an evening at the cinema with a girl you have been fantasizing about. If she likes you she will give you a positive answer. It is 3k for both of you and do not forget to buy Popcorn! At the end of the movie, invite her to your house.

Saturday: At your house:
Her first visit to your house is not an opportunity to have sex. Both of you can do that in subsequent meetiings. Of course, sex is an important feature in every relationship. But it shouldn’t be hinged on that. The visit is for you to know each other. If you can cook, please show off your cooking skills. Some ladies say they love men that have cooking skills. Impress her with it. At the end of the evening, she will be very fond of you and wouldn’t feel like going home. Importantly, make sure you drop at her doorstep or give her cab money!

Sunday: Worship at her Church
Men can do anything just to get a girl. One of those things is worshing at her church. She will be surprised. She may probably forget that she is in church and hug you! Congratulations! She is your girlfriend! But do not assume, ask her.

Extra
Do not waste money on recharge cards
In the African setting, men are expected to make all the moves including calling the woman. But, some ladies should be awarded a masters degree for flashing as they will never call their partner!

But do not worry, technology has changed everything. Skype is the way to go! It is the cheapest means to make internet calls. Ask her if she is on skype, collect her ID and make it a point of duty to only call her on it while chatting with her using instant messaging. There is no need to buy recharge card to call or send her text messages. In fact, you can go old skool by writing her a love letter!
Source:http://www.don9ja.com/2016/12/09/fine-outhow-you-can-win-a-girl-heart-will-10k/

There has been an everlasting debate on the proper age to get married. Girls used to be married as soon as they hit puberty back in the olden days. Thank goodness that it’s frowned upon now. Skyrocketing divorce rates are beginning to leave an anxious imprint on every couple who is begging the question of when the right time to get married is.

The best age: According to a study done by sociologist Nick Wolfinger at the University of Utah, couples that marry between the ages 28 and 32 are most likely to evade divorce. Reasons being that by age 28, there are less hormones that mask true feelings, there is more financial stability and there is more life experience by that age.

The late twenties and early thirties are noted as the prime marriage age because of the significant amount of growing up that occurs. There are numerous responsibilities that have to continue to be met, there are goals that have been reached and people most likely know how to take care of themselves by that time.

There is also the belief that while you may be mature enough in your late twenties, you are still capable of adjusting your habits and lifestyles to accommodate your spouse. You are not so set in your ways that things you can’t compromise.

The worst age: According to the same study, the odds of divorce begin to rise 5 percent each year after you hit the age 34. So, divorce rates have skyrocketed for those who have gotten married after 35. The reason? According to Woflinger, when people wait to be married in the late thirties, they are already set in their ways and go into the marriage without the notion of succeeding.

The actual best age: Do you know what the best possible age to get married is? Here it is: whenever you feel you are ready. And with that, there is no age that falls under the category of “worst age.” Don’t take all of your advice from numbers on a chart; there is no way for data to measure every aspect of marriage. Not even the most intricate study can predict the outcome of every life. Every person on the earth grows at a different pace. Every couple is unique.

Age should not predict your marriage’s success. What makes a marriage successful is the amount of effort you put into it. If you both feel that you are ready to move on to the next big step, do so. No marriage is perfect, but going in with a positive attitude, the ability to communicate and the ability to understand one another are the most important attributes.
Source:http://www.don9ja.com/2016/12/05/fine-outthe-best-and-worst-ages-to-get-married/

It has been said that while men prefer morning $ex, (they are naturally even ready for it if you know what I mean) women will rather get it on at night.
The reasons for this might be peculiar for each woman, but there are some basic reasons that will cut across most women.
Here are 5 reasons why she might prefer to have $ex with you at night.
1. Darkness:A woman who is insecure about her body might prefer $ex in the dark and only night-time offers that. She feels freer because she does not have to worry about how she looks and this might lead to a more satisfying $exual experience.
2. Relaxing:After a very busy day, most men just want to hit the sack, but not women. Some women might prefer to have a glass of wine, surf the net or watch someTVto unwind before bed, while some will prefer to have some fun with their men. The point is, women prefer to gradually unwind before actually going to bed, and $ex can help with this.

3. Better sleep:Experts have told us that $ex makes us sleep better. For a woman who has to be up early to deal with sleep, chores, etc, it makes sense that she will have to get the best sleep she can. So, don’t be surprised when she rubs up on you for that natural ‘valium.’
4. Mood:Something about the night makes a woman a bit freer. It is not necessarily the darkness, it is the ambience, quiet, and the overall cover that the night offers. This is why intimate dates, quiet walks, heart-to-heart talks, etc always seem so much more romantic at nights. It is this feeling that makes her want to connect with you at the end the day instead of during the harsh light of day.
5. Preparedness:Compared to morning $ex, women can actually prepare for night $ex. It is not as spontaneous as just getting up in the morning and doing it. She can take a shower, spray a little perfume, and wear lingerie in preparation for some good loving.
Women feel more $exual confidence when they are prepared, as opposed to the morning when they might be worried about morning breath among other things.
Source:http://www.don9ja.com/2016/12/04/5-reasons-ladies-prefer-to-make-love-at-night/

Did you know that women can have several different types of orgasms? That’s right.

Of course, it’s no surprise that the “holy grail” of all the female orgasms is achieved with the center of gravity. But finding it and knowing how to pleasure her center of gravity is the hard part!

Here’s an A-to-Z on everything you need to know…
How to find the center of gravity

First of all, the center of gravity is actually a zone, rather than an actual ‘spot.’ The center of gravity is located about 2 inches inside the v*gina on the topside. (On the underside of her stomach.)

You’ll know when you’ve found it because it feels like a ribbed bump, like the roof of your mouth just behind your front teeth.

While most men would love to satisfy their ladies with int*rcourse, it’s not always the best idea.

Why? Because it depends on factors like the position, her level of arousal, and p3nis and v*ginal shape and size. In short: using fingers is the easiest way to reach orgasm with the most chance of success.

In most cases, women need to have their clitoris stimulated before stimulating the center of gravity. But once it’s fully stimulated, the clitoris is often too sensitive for direct contact. Ask your lady. Otherwise, the center of gravity may feel dry and uncomfortable. After this point, you can move onto the center of gravity.

To really stimulate the center of gravity, you’ll need to be in a position that gives you great easy access to work your magic. Here are two suggestions:
1) Your lady lies on her back while you lie next to her, using your stronger arm.

2) She sits in doggie-style position, while you sit and pleasure her from behind. Actually, if you want even more passion and excitement, try changing from one position to another over the course of your stimulation. Now let’s talk about how you should pleasure it.

The motion you want to use is the “come over here” gesture, using your fingers. Keep in mind that the center of gravity is different from the clitoris, which means, in most cases, you’ll stroke it slightly harder than the clitoris. Start by massaging it lightly and work your way up to a point she finds incredibly satisfying.

First of all, remember that the best feeling will vary for every woman. Alternate between two very slight movements or spots to find what she likes best.

You’ll know what she likes by her breathing or when she firmly grips you. Having said all that, there is a way to make this experience even MORE pleasurable.

Did you know that prolonged pre-intimacy is said to intensify orgasms? That’s right. However, men often focus so much on “performing” that they forget about spicing up their lovemaking with new and exciting things. Let’s face it; most of us are guilty of this.
You take your clothes off. Away you go, and, within a few seconds or minutes, the routine is over. But as the bedroom magic fades, it becomes harder and harder to make a woman achieve orgasms. Why? Because women long for variety in their s*xual experience.

The very best way to please women long-term is to have an entire ‘bag of ideas’ ready to pull out whenever they’re needed. I cannot stress the need to keep your lovemaking fresh and exciting in every way. That’s the secret to fulfilled lovemaking

Source:[url]http://www.don9ja.com/2016/12/05/ways-to-find-her-center of gravity-and-techniques-to-drive-her-wild/[/url]