₦airaland Forum

Rules!
1) No lies
2) No pretence
3) Be positive and optimistic
4) Just be yourself cos it's d charm.

That's so disgusting.... Ooooooow!

Aren't u suppose to be married already? 35+

July 23rd

Aight!! Mine is 21BB84FD

Ok here we go.....




You are all it takes to be perfect

Interesting!!!

Nigerians are ver good with assumptions!

Sick! I've never heard of such.... Witches Raping Human... So freaking romantic

I'm not cracking!

I'm not satisfied with these response!

JOURNALIST:"Mr. Ibekwe,I understand U're the
breadwinner in your family?
Mr. Ibekwe:"I'm not hearing dat allegation for the first
time,I have heard it before...It's the work of those who
want to tarnish my name....I want to tell U dat I have
never been in any competition to win bread.
Ask those who say "I'm a breadwinner" where they
saw me win dat bread? I don't need to be a
breadwinner to feed my family,I cAn buy it with my
own money..
Those claiming I'm a breadwinner must be cAreful,
otherwise I'll sue them.."
LIKE if U smiled..

JOURNALIST:"Mr. Ibekwe,I understand U're the
breadwinner in your family?
Mr. Ibekwe:"I'm not hearing dat allegation for the first
time,I have heard it before...It's the work of those who
want to tarnish my name....I want to tell U dat I have
never been in any competition to win bread.
Ask those who say "I'm a breadwinner" where they
saw me win dat bread? I don't need to be a
breadwinner to feed my family,I cAn buy it with my
own money..
Those claiming I'm a breadwinner must be cAreful,
otherwise I'll sue them.."
LIKE if U smiled..

Guys, what kind of business makes a lot of profit within a short period of time in South Africa?

And requires a lesser capital too!!!
I need ideas... Business ideas.....

A lady had not been home for 5
years.Upon her return,
Dad :"where have U been all these
years? Why didn't U call? Do U
know wat your mum and I went through!..
The girl[crying] replied,"Dad I
becAme a pr. o stitute!
Dad: " wAt? U shameless sinner..U
are a disgrace to the family.
Lady: ok dad, as U wish..I just
came to give mum this luxurious fur
coat, keys to a ten bedroom mansion,and
50,000k.
this gold rolex
and ,the sparkling mercedes limited edition
convertible, parked outside is for u dad..
I also av an invitation for U to spend
the coming easter holiday on board
with my new yatcht in the river
and...
Her dad interrupted,"wAt is it U said
U had become?
The girl started crying again, P. r ostitute Dad!..
Dad :"Oh Jesus,U scared me,I
thought
u said U had become a
PROTESTANT!!
Come here and give your old
man a
big hug!.

Jesus

1. God Loves You!
The Bible says, "God so loved the world that He gave
His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him
shall not perish, but have eternal life"
The problem is that...
2. All of us have done, said or thought things that are
wrong. This is called sin, and our sins have separated
us from God.
The Bible says "All have sinned and fall short of the
glory of God." God is perfect and holy, and our sins
separate us from God forever. The Bible says "The
wages of sin is death."
The good news is that, about 2,000 years ago,
3. God sent His only Son Jesus Christ to die for our
sins.
Jesus is the Son of God. He lived a sinless life and
then died on the cross to pay the penalty for our sins.
"God demonstrates His own love for us in that while
we were yet sinners Christ died for us."
Jesus rose from the dead and now He lives in heaven
with God His Father. He offers us the gift of eternal
life -- of living forever with Him in heaven if we
accept Him as our Lord and Savior. Jesus said "I am
the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the
Father except by Me."
God reaches out in love to you and wants you to be
His child. "As many as received Him, to them He
gave the right to become children of God, even to
those who believe on His name." You can choose to
ask Jesus Christ to forgive your sins and come in to
your life as your Lord and Savior.
4. If you want to accept Christ as your Savior and
turn from your sins, you can ask Him to be your
Savior and Lord by praying a prayer like this:
"Lord Jesus, I believe you are the Son of God. Thank
you for dying on the cross for my sins. Please
forgive my sins and give me the gift of eternal life. I
ask you in to my life and heart to be my Lord and
Savior. I want to serve you always."
Did you pray this prayer?
YES
NO

@nickashow.... Nice one! I'm gonna try those too..... God shall direct our path, as long we keep trusting in HIM.



Thanks again.

Delete dis @Mod

***CORRECT ANSWER FOR MUMU
QUESTIONS***
1. Someone calls you at 2am and asks,"Are you sleeping?
Ans: "No! I'm picking beans."

2. When its raining and someone notice you going out yet they ask,are you going out in this rain?
Ans:"No! In the next one."

3. You are making out with your girlfriend then you start pulling her panties then she asks; what are you trying to do?
Ans: "I want to wash it for u."

4. They see you coming out of the bathroom wet, yet they ask, "Did you just have a bath?"
Ans: "No, i fell into the toilet bowl."

5.You're standing in front of the elevator on the ground floor going to your office, yet they ask, "Are you going up?"
Ans: "No, i'm waiting for my Office to come down and get me."

6.Your boyfriend comes home with a bunch of flowers, and you still ask, "Are those flowers?
Ans: "No baby, they're carrots!"

7.You are in the toilet and lock the door and someone knocks, asking, "Is anyone there?"
Ans: "No! Na shit LOCK DOOR...." Mtsheeeeeeew!!

8.You are in a queue at the cinema to buy ticket, a friend saw you and asked, "What are you doing here?"
Ans: "I'm here to pay my school fees..." ODE!

9.When they see you lying down with your eyes closed and they still ask, are you sleeping??
Ans: "No, i'm trying to DIE..." MUMU!!!!!!



Guys... Keep it rolloing....

So, Christians are not meant to have a sex life until after marriage.... What could be more boring?

luckgames: Sorry
You alone can't make a relationship
Both of you need to make the relationship
Be open mind
Treat your best half as you like your brother be treated by GF or wife
Will having sex make you a sinner?

That is thÉ issue?

^^^
Are you sure u go to church at all?

Guys! I'm curious... I want to lead a good christian life with my partner! But how do I keep my relationship romantically stable and emotional as a christian? What are my limits? Are we suppose to have a sex life?

These things are bothering me severely...

Usher!!!!
Yuri Boyka.... Adkins

Dude! Appreciate urself... You are ok!! Most of these under 16 gurls on here are trip'n for you....

13 JAMB QUESTIONS TO EXPECT TODAY:
1. If white rice is white, jollof rice is what?
2. How many times have you written this exam?
3. At what age did GEJ started wearing shoe?
4.Which Nigerian artist now wash cars in kanye west
garage?
5. What are the names of the two people shaking
hands when you put on a Nokia phone?
6. Complete with the appropriate word (wiz kid) oya
oya ___ your
mummy. A. axe B. hask C. ask
7. Each of the following causes death Except A. Mouth
Odour B.
Armpit Intoxication C. Rat poison D. Boko Haram
8. How old is your great grandma?
9. What's A Toilet To Ladies? (A)
Convenience (B) Photo Studio
10. Who pour water inside CoCOnut??
11. What is the past tense of BROKE?
12. What is the relationship btw
fuel subsidy and GEJ, Okonjo
Iweala, Sanusi Lamido and OCUPPY NAIJA?
13. Why do Nigerians look forward to the First Lady,
Dame Patience speech?

13 JAMB QUESTIONS TO EXPECT TODAY:
1. If white rice is white, jollof rice is what?
2. How many times have you written this exam?
3. At what age did GEJ started wearing shoe?
4.Which Nigerian artist now wash cars in kanye west
garage?
5. What are the names of the two people shaking
hands when you put on a Nokia phone?
6. Complete with the appropriate word (wiz kid) oya
oya ___ your
mummy. A. axe B. hask C. ask
7. Each of the following causes death Except A. Mouth
Odour B.
Armpit Intoxication C. Rat poison D. Boko Haram
8. How old is your great grandma?
9. What's A Toilet To Ladies? (A)
Convenience (B) Photo Studio
10. Who pour water inside CoCOnut??
11. What is the past tense of BROKE?
12. What is the relationship btw
fuel subsidy and GEJ, Okonjo
Iweala, Sanusi Lamido and OCUPPY NAIJA?
13. Why do Nigerians look forward to the First Lady,
Dame Patience speech?

They requested to go to his house... (Where they usually plant drugs in Nigerians houses and charge them #10000 to #50000 rands as bribe) But my uncle declined! So they kept on beating and embarrassing him for no reason.... GOD FORSAKEN MOTHE..F*CKERS

My uncle just arrived from work (where he sells clothes) and told me what happened this morning! He went to the bank and withdrew #2000 rands which he wanted to use for groceries. The police men stopped him and asked if he were a Nigerian, he said Yes( though he's married to a south african) and has his south african legal papers!... they accused him of being a drug dealer and told him to get in the car, he said he wasn't a drug dealer... Then they started beating him mercilessly without any reason... They took his papers and all the cash he had on him after searching him! Then they threw him in the boot and drove away... He was later released at the roadside in roseburg! But they left with his papers and money! He went to the police station around windsor to file complaint... With bruises all over him! GOD BLESS NIGERIA