₦airaland Forum

ShakurM:
Book of understanding women, Volume 1Ai...
Summarised edition sef

lol na summary be this

As for me this guy name supposed to be sule bolo

Bros Shey this is the book of life?

Very good errand boy wey know evey joint dem dey sell weed, and wey go they provide virgin for rituals ...shooo u think say e easy

me and my gf was having a nice time, and it seems it getting so bored to the both of us.
so I asked her to tell me some hot fact about women, this is what she narrate.

1) We set our alarm for 10
minutes earlier than needed
and oversleep anyway.
2) We always apply mascara
with an open mouth and, if we
ever attempt to shut it up, we
always mess up and get that
mascara stain.
3) We throw our phone into our
big purse and then,
spasmodically, look for it and
can’t find it when it rings.
4) We always carry around our
big purse full of stuff that we
never use, but we always think
that one day we might need it
right there.
5) We arrange stuff into the
right place and then, we forget
where the right place was.
6) We look for our sunglasses
when they are right on top of
our head.
7) When we look at ourselves
in the mirror, we often think: “It
would be great to have a
picture taken in this position…”
When we are in a hurry, we
always look for keys that we
had in our hands just couple of
seconds ago.
9) We always need to keep two
or more different shampoos,
various conditioners and two
(or more) different shower gels
in our bathroom.
10) We definitely need to check
out how we look in the mirror
before hitting the outside
world.
11) It’s ok for us to dance with
other women without thinking
that we are “gay”, but when we
see two men dancing together,
we quickly start having second
thoughts…
12) We always have nothing to
wear, even if our closet is
overloaded with stuff…
13) We brush our hair before
going to bed.
14) Sometime we fake a
pleasure, because our man
faked the pre-intimacy.
15) When we go to public
restrooms, we love going there
in groups, so that we can have
a chat…
16) We often feel insecure
about our breast size.
17) We think that all beer tastes
the same.
18) We always dress up nicely
and apply makeup to go
grocery shopping, empty the
garbage or, even, to just
answer the phone.
19) When we use a map we
need to turn it to the direction
that corresponds the one we
are heading to.
20) When we say to a guy:
“Well…nothing…”, we mean an
entirely different thing.
21) We are never wrong. We
wait for men to take initiative
and apologize.
22) We drive miles out of our
way, because we are scared of
getting lost using a shortcut.
23) When we cry, we would
love someone to see it and
offer us a cuddle.
24) In entertainment, while men
are seeking the escape from
reality, we, ladies, on the other
hand, look for stuff that
reminds us about the real life.
25) Usually, we have over 50
different items in our bathroom
most of which men would
hardly identify.
26) We all are afraid of bugs,
spiders and mice.
27) When we go on a 3-day trip
we, usually, pack over 7 outfits,
just in case we will hesitate
about what to wear.

just for fun read and add your own and let the fun begin



1.guy your girlfriend dad die, u still dey send am love message.....na u kill her dad?

2.girl u get bow leg u still dey waka round street with red leggings....u be PLIERS?

3.guy your girlfriend come to your house,showing u d green light, u dey play her different songs.....u be DJ?

4.u went for an interview u dey preach for your employer....u be PASTOR?

5.girl you dark before, now you don bleach die....u be HYPO?

6.tall girl wey still dey look for heel.....u wan torn OSTRICH?

7.guy! na every girl in the campus u wan date....u be CALENDAR

8.your boyfriend call u for a date, u dey come along with your friends....u be BULLION VAN and dem be ESCORT

9.u pay to go night of a thousand laugh, people they laugh u dey frank....o boy u be SOLDIER??

10.all those big girls wey dey form Shey dem no dey poo......is your thyroid out of whack??


add your own.

1. the awkward moment your mum caught you self servicing. o boy casala don burst

2. the awkward moment your chair sound like fart beside your crush in the lecture room and you can redo it to prove its not a fart...boom!

3. the awkward moment your zip worn out in public and u ain't wearing boxers...free show

4.the awkward moment pastor called out all virgins for special prayer and your mum been looking at you like....

5.the awkward moment a c&s lady get mestrual stain on her white garment...

6.the awkward moment u go on a cashless policy date with a girl, and your master card is being rejected...gen gen

7.the awkward moment you vomit EBA in front of your crush after forming Shey u no dey chop am.

8.the awkward moment you buy your crush an expensive golden chain and she wore it on her dog

9.the awkward moment you kiss a girl and she prescribed a toothpaste for you

10. the awkward moment u wore a mini skirt and your phone fall down in a church... u declare ur asset
♦


the awkward moment your dad bought u a sanitary pad.

and u call her big girl... mmchewwww

and u think this was funny!

yaba left returnee... u craze die

casala don burst..

FghjjfddFghjjfddFghjjfdd

[font=Lucida Sans Unicode][/font] so u want make we laugh

and that simply means the crown is a surgeon ... ADELAKUN Yoruba looks weird...

c dem, dey wan laugh....u need jesus

nonsense trend. e be like say u are jobless ...

as for me u will tell my mother about the thing if she no agree I no go do am, but if she willingly accept we don turn millionaire be dat .. God punish devil

I've been having crush on this girl for a very long period, but I don't approach her.
but one day the girl show me green light and we started as a friend, we chat we kiss we share ideas and so many other things people do in a relationship.
But the day I approach her, I regret that I know her..Omo come see insult, the girl abuse me like wtf!.
I called her number but she don't pick it,she delete me from her contact on bbm, the next time I saw her she look me like shit.
I now be like girl pls let start from where we stop, she dont even welcome my attention at all. But I think maybe she is just doing demo.but its getting outta hand

The question I wanna ask is that what is the aim of that girl

Let share fl studio knowledge can some one pls ask me some questions

odizeey:
thanks man. where can I get plugins for Nigerian songs, like gong n d rest

hmmm bros I can't really say something about that..cause I don't know any website like that ..but if to say u have a good mixer u can hit d gong to the mic mix and master it and convert it to wav that's how I do my own...in fact it really work well for me .. Cause I gat talking drum, real tambourine and some local sounds

odizeey:
Hw much can I get an external mic

u can get some external mic like GM-605 Gooseneck Microphones + GM...
₦ 8,100 u don't need those sophisticated mic cause it will attract noise, since its not a standard studio u can start with that ..but if u need good microphone go to any musical store next to you, I think that one will solve the problem better

let someone ask about instrument na.. we are here to learn more n more

odizeey:
drop something mk we learn first. my question is how to record quality audio wit my laptop

that's not a problem as far as you have got a system using window 7even or advance..
you just need an external mic and some recording softwares like sonar or cubase,
just find yourself a quiet place,in other to avoid so unwanted sounds.
but not withstanding, you may hear some hissing sound in your recording due to the fact that that u are not using cubicle ..or a sound proof room

but if you don't know how to use sonar you can ask and I will explain more about recording,mixing and mastering

ahnie:
How the hell do you expect the man to Employ you,with this your English?go get yourself a copy of brighter grammar.

can u pls be my tutor prof. cause is seems u are taking this too personal

fromusa:
My dear, there is no need to be depressed, just thank God that he has revealed his real character, now you know who your friend is.
Don't do anything because it is not in your hand to revenge, vengeance if for God, maybe that job is not meant for you, when next you are going job hunting it is better you go alone because the heart of man is very deep. This is a new year, lots of opportunities abound so you will definitely get another job that will be better than the one you lost.
Just keep him at arms length because he is not a true friend.
Try also to improve on you English as that will also help you a lot. God bless you.

thanks a lot. u make my day

dOnLarich:
Firm or Farm...

firm is a business organisation .. bro ain't talking about farm

It was a sad occurrence on the 31st of December 2014 when my best friend I really loved not knowing he don't love me betrayed me
He get one man wey tell us say he go employ us to is firm, so he told us to present our school cirt, which we did.
He told told us to come the next day that he will pick just one out of us,so when we go to is office he told me that he has picked me due to the distinct of my cirt.
He then told my friend their will be vacancy in the next two months,and he will like to employ him too.
But me I don't know that my friend was not happy about that,but we both left happily
Later in the day the man then called me and star saying some insultive words to me,when I ask why he told me "boy see your friend has told me every thing about you, you can't ruin me, will not allow you yo work with me again because of your bad behaviours that was analyse by your friend to me" and he cut the line
I then call my friend but he don't pick it,I go to his house I no see him,later I see him on the street and asked him about the incident, but he don't answer me he just walk off.
Right now I'm in state of depression cause I don't even know what to do now

Pls advise me

This trend is for producers to share knowledge together, and help our self to know what we don't know before.
Either on fl studio,reasons,cubase,sonar,acid pro e.t.c and other musical instruments, as for me I play only piano and mediocre on guitar so u can ask me questions on any where u think u are lagging, and I may ask u too

So let begin the lesson

I wonder o

u hit am..

foolishness runs in their blood...heredity

i go pretend say i no hear ...