FuckFuckBoy:
GNLD. Run for your life

This is one of the funniest messages I have come across on Nairaland.

LPC Microfinance Bank cannot be GNLD for God's sake. It is a Microfinance Bank.

Funniest part ..no dating of Awo or Angola guys got me laughing

The Nigeria nation is a difficult one to understand.

We have leaders who are hell bent milking us to bones.
The so called accidental killings of the Internal Displaced Persons could be well schemed out to reduce the numbers of people in the various camps so that the various foreign aids coming from Western countries would be enough to share .

Nigerian boxer, Efe Ajagba knocks out opponent in 23 seconds at the Rio Olympics, His secret.. He says: “I just focused all the anger I have for the Nigerian government in one blow”

Do you know that?
1. The River Niger Bridge at Onitsha was constructed
between 1964 and 1965 by Dumez- a French
construction company and cost £5 million.
2. Patience Jonathan is one of Nigeria’s most-educated
First Ladies, with an NCE, a B.Ed, and a PhD from
University of Port-Harcourt.
3. The highest peak in Nigeria is located in Taraba and
is called Chappal Waddi which means “The Mountain of
Death”.
4. There are 196 countries in the world and at least one
Igbo person from Nigeria lives in every one of them.
5. The Pidgin word ‘Sabi’ came from ‘Saber’,
Portuguese and Spanish for ‘to know’. Both country’s
ships traded slaves from the Bight of Benin.
6. Katsina College (now Barewa College in Zaria) has
produced 5 Nigerian Presidents/Heads of State since it
was founded in 1921 in Katsina.
7. Ojukwu taught Murtala Mohammed and Ben
Adekunle at Regular Officers Special Training School,
Ghana. Both ‘fought’ their teacher during the civil war
8. At Nigeria’s independence in 1960, there were 41
Secondary Schools in the North and 842 Secondary
Schools in the South.
9. In 1983, Senator Arthur Nzeribe spent $16.5 million to
win a Senatorial seat in Orlu (in Imo State).
10. In 1973, the Federal Government of Nigeria
considered officially changing the name of “Lagos” to
“Eko”. Regarding “Lagos” as a colonial name.
11. The geographical area now referred to as Nigeria
was once referred to as ‘Soudan’ and ‘Nigiritia’.
12. Offences punishable by death sentence after the
1966 coup included embezzlement, rape and
homosexuality.
13. MKO Abiola was named Kashimawo (Let us wait
and see) by his parents. He was his father’s twenty-
third child, but the first to survive infancy.
14. Jaja Wachucku was the first person to refer to Lagos
as a “no-man’s land” in 1947, provoking a national
controversy.
15. Jollof rice, chicken breast, serve of ice cream, tea,
coffee or Bournvita, with full cream milk and sugar: Meal
Cost = 50Kobo- Unilag in the late 1970s
16. At the point death in 1989, Sam Okwaraji was a PhD
candidate and qualified lawyer with an LL.M in
International Law (University of Rome)
17. When British Bank of West Africa (now First Bank)
opened a branch in Kano in 1929, Alhassan Dantata
(Dangote’s Grandfather) opened an account depositing
20 camel-loads of silver coins.
18. Jaja Wachuku is reputed to have owned the biggest
one-man library in West Africa. Balewa sometimes
referred to him as “Most Bookish Minister
19. The colonization of Nigeria took more than 40 years
to achieve and the territories were integrated by the use
of force.
20. Yoruba is spoken as a ritual language the Santeria
cult in Carribean and South-Central America.
21. Slavery existed in the Nigerian territory before the
15th century and was abolished in the 19th century-
1807 by the British.
22. At least 55 women were killed in South-East Nigeria,
in 1929 when the women forced the Umuahia warrant
chiefs to submit to their rule.
23. The coinage ‘Supreme Court’ was first used in 1863
by the colonial administration through the enactment of
the Supreme Court Ordinance No. II.
24. MKO Abiola died suddenly on July 7, 1998, exactly
one month after General Sani Abacha died mysteriously
on June 8, 1998.
25. Agbani Darego was the only one to wear a maillot as
opposed to a bikini during the Miss Universe contest in
2001.
26. The ‘Ankara’ material is not indigenous to Nigeria.
Our indigenous textiles include the Akwete, Ukara, Aso-
Oke and Adire.
27. Aloma Mukhtar is the first female lawyer from the
North and went on to become the first female Chief
Justice of Nigeria.
28. The area known as Makoro town in Lagos was first a
swamp, later sand-filled by the colonial government and
served as the first bridge to the Island.
29. Esie Museum is Nigeria’s first museum, established
in 1945. Once reputed to have the largest collection of
soapstone images in the world.
30. Aminu Kano formed the Northern Teachers’
Association (NTA) in 1948, the first successful regional
organization in the history of the North.
31. George Goldie, who played a major role in founding
Nigeria, placed a curse on anyone who attempts to write
his biography.
32. In 1996, John Ogbu, a Nigerian Anthropologist firmly
advocated for the use of African-American Vernacular to
teach in the U.S
33. Hause Language indigenous to Northern Nigeria is
spoken in 11 African States. Germany, French, U.S., and
British International radio stations broadcast in Hausa.
34. The surgeon who ‘killed’ Stella Obasanjo was
sentenced to 1 year in prison, disqualified for 3 years
and fined €120,000.
35. The word ‘asiri’ means ‘secret’ in Hausa, Yoruba,
Nupe and Igarra. It also means ‘gossip’ in Igbo.
36. Igbo-Ora in Oyo State, Kodinji in India and Candido
Godoi in Brazil are the towns that produce the highest
number of twin births in the world.
37. Bishop Ajayi Crowther, a Yoruba, in 1857 produced a
reading book for the Igbo Language and a full grammar
and vocabulary of NUPE in 1864.
38. The first TV broadcast in Nigeria and Tropical Africa
was on October 31, 1959.
39. In 1978, a 50Kobo increase (from #1.50 to #2) in the
cost of University Students’ meal per day caused the ‘Ali
Must Go’ protests.
40. Albert E. Kitson discovered coal in Enugu in 1909.
This discovery led to the building of Port-Harcourt town
in 1912.
41. Today, only Nigeria has a larger black population
than Brazil. More than 3.5 million Africans were
captured, enslaved and transported to Brazil.
42. Groundnut pyramids were the invention of Alhaji
Alhassan Dantata to stack bags before export.
43. In 1967, old traditional ruler, Oba Akran and A.
Ademiluyi were jailed for 14 years (7 each) for stealing
£504,750 (#2.5b).
44. Since 1960, Nigeria has been either ruled by an ex-
lecturer/ex-teacher or military man. The only exceptions
are Azikiwe and Shonekan.
45. If you visited Lagos in 1975, you could spend a day
at the Presidential Suite of Federal Palace Hotel for
#100, single room for #19.
46. The first aircraft to land in Nigeria landed in Kano in
July 1925. A British fighter jet flew from Khartoum
(present day Sudan).
47. In 1895, Koko of Nembe (now in Bayelsa) took 60
white men hostage. When the British refused his
demands, more than 40 of those men were eaten.
48. The ‘Naira’ was coined by Chief Obafemi Awolowo
when he was serving as the Federal Commissioner of
Finance.
49. Koma Hill (settlement in Adamawa where people
lived and practised the killing of twins) was discovered
in 1986 by a NYSC corps member.
50. The pilot (Francis Osakwe) that flew Ojukwu away
from Biafra (1970) was the same pilot that flew Gowon
to Uganda (last flight as Head of State).
51. In 1986, Shehu Shagari was banned from
participation in politics for life. The ban has still not
been lifted.
52. As the wife of the deputy Head of State (Vice
President of Nigeria) in 1984, Biodun Idiagbon
personally ran a small ice cream shop in Ilorin..
53. Koma Hills (Adamawa State) inhabitants when
discovered were observed to engage in the practise of
borrowing wives among themselves.
54. Juju, Dashiki, Yam and Okra are words in the English
dictionary that originated from ethnic groups located in
present day Nigeria.
55. Nigeria has more English speakers than England,
and more Muslims than Saudi Arabia and Syria.

1. Increase dhikr (remembrance of Allah): "Those who believe, and whose hearts find satisfaction in the remembrance of Allah: for without doubt in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find satisfaction (Qur'an, 13:28)."





2. Increase prayers: "O you who believe! Seek assistance through patience and prayer; surely, Allah is with the patient (Qur'an, 2:153)." Regardless of the type of meditation, recent studies have verified the physiological effects of meditation. Most of those mediations consist in focusing on something, repeating some words and breathing (Greenberg, p.142, 143).





3. Perform ablutions: The most important component of relaxation is what Hans Loehr calls "the rituals of success." These rituals may be as simple as making ablution; yet, they must be performed properly for it is not enough to pass water on the body parts - those parts must be massed.





4. Ask for forgiveness : A person must ensure that he asks forgiveness from Allah. "Then I said, 'Ask forgiveness of your Lord; surely, He is the most Forgiving'" (Qur'an, 71:10).





5. Recite the Qur'an: The Prophet (Sallallaahu Alaihi Wasalaam) said, " Qur'an is a remedy for illnesses of the mind" (Bukhari). "The echo of sound has a medical effect and is now widely utilized," says Dr. Greenberg. "The recitation of or listening to the Qur'an has an effect on the body, the heart and the mind! It is said that the letter Alif echoes to the heart and the letter Ya' to the pineal gland in the brain.



Dr Ahmed El Kadi of Akber Clinic (Panama City, FL) conducted and published the effects of listening to Qur'anic recitation on physiological parameters ( i.e., the heart, blood pressure, and muscle tension), and reported improvement in all factors, irrespective of whether the listener was a Muslim or a non-Muslim, Arab or non-Arab. Obviously, it can be postulated that those who understand and enjoy the recitation with a belief in it will get maximum benefits," writes Dr Athar.





6. Make the hereafter one's main concern: "Whoever has the hereafter as his main concern, Allah will fill his heart with a feeling of richness and independence; he will be focused and feel content, and this world will come to him in spite of it. Whoever has this world as his main concern, Allah will cause him to feel constant fear of poverty; he will be distracted and unfocused, and he will have nothing of this world except what was already predestined for him," said the Prophet (Sallallaahu Alaihi Wasalaam). One of the greatest causes of stress is money - how to pay the loans, whether one's job will be lost, what will happen to the family if the father dies, etc.





7. Think positively: Muslims should forget about the bad things of the past and think of good things, always having hope that he can be better. Trying to change the past is a foolish and crazy waste of time, "for saying 'if only' opens the way to Shaytan" said the Prophet (Sallallaahu Alaihi Wasalaam)(Bukhari). The Prophet (Sallallaahu Alaihi Wasalaam) also said, " Know that victory (achievement) comes through patience, and that ease comes through hardship."(Tirmidhi). Muslims understand that there's no reason for panic in the case of crisis - no reason to be distressed or worried for we know that after hardship come ease!





8. Do not waste time on thoughts of fear or stress: "The search of time is one of the most frequent causes of stress" (Seyle, p.102). Laziness is the mother of all evils, and the Prophet (Sallallaahu Alaihi Wasalaam) used to seek refuge in Allah from it. Understanding that this life is short and time precious, Muslims should try to work hard and pursue worthy knowledge.





References

Athar, Shahid, MD. "Modern Stress and Its Cure From Qur'an."

Greenberg, Jerrold S. CSM = Comprehensive Stress Management. WCB: McGraw-Hill. 1999

Courtesy: www.everymuslim.net

Yeyenatu

Whoever is interested in the temporary job should forward his/her CV & application to : NG-FMBankingIndustryCSS@ng.kpmg.com.

@OP , I hope you would be very careful with those people advising to buy supplements. They may leave you worsened off in the end.

I also experienced what you are going through right now.Hardly would a week pass without having to treat myself for typhoid.

Mine was as a result of too much sugary things such as soft drinks ( fanta especially), tea ( I couldn't go a day without taking tea) , I was found of adding sugar to almost all my meals( yam & beans especially ) , perhaps my water intake wasn't hygienic enough too.

I cut down completely on all the sugary things & I became more cautious about my water intake.

And one drug that worked really for me is Ciprofloxaxin ( Fidson).

I pray you get over it ASAP.

AGROJOSY:




I dnt think any1 has bin verified and contacted in Osun.

For those saying no one has been contacted in Osun , successful candidates from the state of Osun have been contacted and they are all in camp.

Flojoh1:
Hello people! Has Oando started calling people for test or interview for this position? Pls I need response ASAP.

I dont think so.

Mine are :
Uztaz Sulaimon Amubieya
Dr. AbdulRasaq Alaro
Dr. Sharafadeen Raji
Sheik Isa Akindele
Uztaz Buwaib
Umar Paiko Dada
Bro Lukman Idris


Most of their lectures could be downloaded at : www.dawahnigeria.com & www.islamhouse.com.

Visit these two sites to download free islamic lectures(english,yoruba&hausa).

A Palace in Jannah Everyday

Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) said, 'Whoever performs 12 Rakaats of Salaat in one day excluding the Fardh Salaat, he will be granted a house in Jannah.' (Sahih Muslim Hadith1691)These 12 Rakaats have been specifically enumerated in another narration as: the 2 Rakaats before Fajr, 4 Rakaats before Dhuhr, 2 Rakaats after Dhuhr, 2 Rakaats after Maghrib and 2 Rakaats after Esha. (Sunan Tirmidhi Hadith415). This Hadith is authentic according to Imaam Tirmidhi. 

On the day of Qiyaamat, if there be any deficiency in a person's Fardh Salaat, his Nafl Salaats will compensate for that. (Sunan Tirmidhi Hadith413) – Imaam Tirmidhi has classified this narration as sound. 

Therefore, utmost care should be taken in correcting and perfecting our Fardh Salaat by fulfilling all its requirements as well as by being particular of performing the Sunnah Salaat.

 

The 2 Rakaat Sunnat before the Fardh of Fajr Salaat is the most emphasised Sunnah Salaat of the day (Bukhari Hadith1169, Sahih Muslim Hadith1683, Tahtaawi pg.212) 

Sayyidatuna Aaisha (Radhiallaahu Anha) reports that Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) said.

'The 2 Rakaats before Fajr are better than the entire world and whatever it contains. (Sahih Muslim Hadith1685)

 

Regarding the 4 Sunnats before Dhuhr, Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) mentioned that the doors of the heavens open at that time (Sunan Tirmidhi) and if one follows it up with 4 more Rakaats after the Fardh of Dhuhr (2 Sunnats and 2 Nafl - Fathul Qadeer vol.1 pg.387) Almighty Allah will protect him from Jahannum. (Sunan Tirmidhi Hadith427; Sahih ibn Khuzaymah Hadith1190) 

If a person performs 4 Rakaats before Asr Salaat, he will receive a house in Jannah. (Majmauz-Zawaaid vol.2 pg.222). Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) has made a special Du'aa for the mercy of Allah Ta’aala to be showered on such a person. (Sunan Tirmidhi Hadith430; Sahih ibn Khuzaymah Hadith1193) 

Makhool (

Radhiyallahu Anhu) reports that Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) said,

'If the 2 Rakaats after Maghrib are performed before speaking, it will be lifted high into the heavens. (Al-Maraaseel of Imaam Abu Dawud Hadith73)

 

If a person performs 4 Rakaats (2 Sunnats and 2 Nafl) after Esha in the Musjid, he will receive the reward of performing these Salaats on Laylatul Qadr. This has been mentioned by various Sahaaba (Radhiallaahu Anhum) – refer al-Musannaf of Imaam ibn Abi Shaybah Hadith7347 – 7353 

To perform Witr Salaat is compulsory. Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) said, 'Whosoever does not perform Witr Salaat is not among us.' (Al-Mustadrak vol.1 pg.305-306). Imaam Haakim has classified this narration as Sahih (authentic). (Ibid, also refer to Nasbul-Raayah vol.1 pg.112) 

Bearing in mind the abovementioned virtues, every Musallee should endeavour to acquire these benefits by remaining steadfast on the Sunnah Salaats regarding which people are becoming increasingly lax and unmindful these days. Doing so will acquire one the love and assistance of Almighty Allah. (Sahih Bukhari Hadith6502)

Who is deceiving who here? This tax regime is dead on arrival.

This same govt will start giving out waivers to their cronies.

Academy of General Dentistry spokesperson Steven A. Ghareeb, DDS, FAGD, offers advice on how to keep your smile healthy and pretty by avoiding these bad oral health habits.

Not flossing

Brushing your teeth twice a day is important, but many patients don’t realise that flossing at least once a day is just as critical to achieving—and maintaining—a healthy smile. Flossing removes the cavity-causing bacteria left behind from food particles that get stuck between teeth.

Brushing too soon after eating

Consuming acidic foods and beverages, such as sports and energy drinks, citrus fruits, wine, and tomatoes, can erode tooth enamel—the glossy outer layer of the tooth. Brushing your teeth too soon after eating and drinking these items can cause more damage because you are essentially brushing the acid into the teeth, not getting rid of it. Instead, you should rinse your mouth with water after consuming acidic foods and beverages and wait at least 30 minutes before brushing your pearly whites!

Not replacing your toothbrush often enough

Not only are old toothbrushes ineffective, but they also harbour harmful bacteria that can cause infections. Toothbrushes should be changed every three to four months. “It’s also important to change your toothbrush after you have had a cold,” says Dr. Ghareeb.

Excessively bleaching your teeth

Overzealous bleaching can cause your teeth to look unnaturally white and increase tooth sensitivity. Before using an at-home bleaching product, talk to your dentist. “He or she can advise you on proper use of these products as well as which type of bleaching system will provide you with the best results,” says Dr. Ghareeb.

Culled : Knowyourteeth.com

mimzy007:
They are going home for a break, POP is in march. Remember while they trained in NDA for 6 months they still go to Onne for 3 more months, a total of 9.

How soon will they start the next recruitment exercise?

PHe who kills by the sword dies by the sword.

His ways are back to hunt him. What shall it profit Abati to stake his hard-earned credibility for GEJ & lose the trust of Nigerians.

manck2:
international law see APC AND PDP as terorist group in western nigeria

I hope you are ok with this your rubbish international law in almost every thread. I'd suggest suggest you sit down & re-examine ur medula perhaps there is a disconnect somewhere.

Guy, please stop being a nuisance. You schoooled in 3 sch abroads & you cannot , for once, think straight.

aljharem:
Jimi has my FULL SUPPORT !!!

Congratulations. Time to destroy APC for good !!!

And you are the only eligible voter in Lagos.

Yeyenatu

May God completely heal her & their burdens.

Amen.

There will always be an atom of truth in every rumour.
Im sure we will see the end of this very soon.

What and when you take your super play very huge roles here.

Take your super atleast four hours before going to bed and drink less water atleast till when you get over it.

I hope this helps.

The person below me is a gay

The person below me is a gay .

shadowgwalker:
who missed me? I AM BACK AGAIN! I'm here to continue with my unreliable source.

Emilishady

Stomach infrastructure

frustratedman:
I have no hope again in life. No job, no wife, cant rent a room, no family, no future. The only 200k I have for business was lost to scammers on olx. God has been so unfair to me and instead of staying alive in penury I decided to end my existence. I will chose a better destiny if there is a next life.

Sometimes you are
unsatisfied with your life,
while many people in
this world are dreaming
of living your life..

Committing suicide doesn't in anyway makes you a man.You are coward.It's even annoying you are here venting your anger on nairaland.

Every one is battling one challenges or the other in life. Live with your challenges & never stop believing God.

Gurus in the house, kindly help me unlock my Huawei GLO NetPro Modem E303s-1 with.
S/N : U9CBYA9252600861
IMEI : 861862006117866.