₦airaland Forum

MTN Finally Speaks on Why Nigerians Are Suffering Terrible Network Problems

After months of frustration from millions of Nigerians over poor calls, disappearing data, failed transfers, and unstable internet, MTN Nigeria has finally explained why network services have become so bad across the country.

Speaking during an “Ask Me Anything” session in Lagos, MTN Nigeria’s Chief Corporate Services and Sustainability Officer, Tobechukwu Okigbo, admitted that the telecom giant is battling massive operational and infrastructure challenges in Nigeria.

According to him, many Nigerians do not realize how fragile telecom infrastructure can be.

“Sometimes ordinary rainfall can affect network quality,” he explained, noting that Nigerian telecom networks carry almost everything today including phone calls, internet access, banking transactions, streaming, and business communication.

As more people flood the network daily, congestion increases and service quality drops.

This explanation is coming at a sensitive time because Nigerians are still angry over the 50% tariff increase introduced by telecom operators in 2025. Many users expected that higher prices would automatically mean better service quality.

Instead, complaints have only increased.

MTN says the problem is not as simple as many people think.

The company revealed that network expansion is expensive and slow. Equipment must first be ordered from manufacturers like Huawei and ZTE, imported into Nigeria, cleared through customs, and then installed after securing suitable sites for base stations.

Shockingly, MTN disclosed that the company experiences between 27 and 45 fibre cable cuts DAILY across Nigeria due to vandalism, construction damage, and infrastructure destruction.

Even more surprising, a fibre cut in Kogi can reportedly affect network quality in Abuja, while a shutdown in Ogun State can impact users in Lagos.

The company also accused some landlords of exploiting telecom operators with outrageous rent demands after signing initial lease agreements. In some cases, landlords allegedly shut down telecom installations during disputes, worsening network outages for entire communities.

Perhaps the most controversial statement came when Okigbo said:

“No one hates poor network quality more than telecom operators.”

According to him, MTN loses money whenever customers cannot properly use the network because generators still have to run continuously to power thousands of base stations nationwide.

The company revealed that it spent over ₦800 billion in 2023 alone just to keep its network operational despite inflation, diesel costs, vandalism, and infrastructure maintenance challenges.

MTN also praised President Bola Tinubu’s administration for officially recognizing telecom infrastructure as Critical National Infrastructure, something operators had reportedly pushed for unsuccessfully for years.

Still, many Nigerians remain unconvinced.

Across social media, users continue to complain about:
• dropped calls
• disappearing data
• unstable 4G and 5G connections
• slow internet speeds
• poor customer experience despite rising tariffs

Some subscribers are even supporting calls for stronger NCC sanctions and customer compensation against telecom operators.

One thing is now clear:
Nigeria’s telecom sector is under serious pressure, and unless infrastructure challenges, vandalism, energy costs, and network investments improve significantly, Nigerians may continue experiencing frustrating network problems for a long time.

Source: https://techpoint.africa/insight/mtn-chief-explains-poor-network/

WhiteIverson:
Before you go on a date with a woman, make sure she's self sufficient, mentally stable, a virgin and fertile

Aura for Aura.

I get your point .

“Before Dating Him, Make Sure He Can Feed Your Family” : Nigerian Lady Sparks Heated Debate Online

A Nigerian lady has triggered massive reactions across social media after advising women to avoid dating men who cannot financially take care of both them and their families.

The statement, which quickly went viral, read:

“Before you go on a date with a man, make sure he’s capable of taking care of you and your family financially.”

Expectedly, the internet exploded.

While some people supported her opinion and argued that financial stability is important in relationships, many others described the statement as entitled, unrealistic, and exploitative.

Several users questioned why a boyfriend or husband should automatically become financially responsible for an entire extended family simply because he is in a relationship with one person.

Others argued that modern men already face enormous pressure from rent, bills, unstable economic conditions, career struggles, marriage expectations, and family responsibilities.

Adding another family to that burden, according to critics, turns relationships into “economic rescue missions” rather than genuine partnerships.

One comment that gained attention online stated: “Relationship no be NGO.”

Another user wrote: “Some people are no longer looking for love. They are looking for sponsorship.”

Despite the harsh reactions, many observers believe the controversy reflects a deeper issue affecting modern relationships globally.

Dating today is increasingly becoming transactional.

Instead of focusing on values like loyalty, kindness, compatibility, emotional intelligence, and long term vision, many people now prioritize immediate financial benefits before emotional connection.

Experts and relationship commentators have repeatedly warned that while financial stability is important, turning relationships into extraction systems creates unhealthy expectations and resentment.

Interestingly, some commenters also pointed out that both genders contribute to superficial dating culture.

While some women may prioritize money, status, or lifestyle, many men also judge women heavily based on beauty, age, social image, or physical appearance.

The debate also reopened conversations around traditional gender roles in modern relationships.

Many critics argued that some people want traditional financial benefits from men while rejecting traditional responsibilities themselves, creating imbalance and confusion in relationships.

Others defended the lady, saying there is nothing wrong with women wanting security in a difficult economy where poverty can destroy marriages and relationships.

Still, many social media users agreed on one point: Healthy relationships work best as partnerships, not financial adoption centers.

As conversations continue online, one message keeps appearing repeatedly from both men and women:

The strongest relationships are usually built by people asking, “How do we grow together?”

Not simply, “What can I collect from this person?”

This is actually a great development.

Kalatium:
You made a very interesting case here. We need to hold our government accountable. What do you think @nlfpmod Mynd44Fergie001

Yes. We need to rise and speak. Nigeria won't change if we don't keep our leaders accountable.

Bakinson234:
One of most underrated profession is pharmacy,most of the pharmacy shops in Ogbomoso nine out of ten is controlled by these quacks,they are so rich to an extent that they don't allow original pharmacists to practice,it is rather unfortunate,the pharmacy council must stand up to do the needful

This is scary to see. Once they have money they think they can do anything.

Purdue Pharma Shuts Down: $7.4B Opioid Settlement Ushers New Era as Pharmacists Take Frontline Role

A major turning point has been reached in global pharmaceutical history following the shutdown of Purdue Pharma after a landmark opioid settlement valued at about 7.4 billion dollars.

The company, long at the center of the U.S. opioid crisis, officially ceased operations on May 1, 2026, as part of a court approved restructuring plan that replaces it with a new public benefit entity, Knoa Pharma LLC.

The move follows years of litigation over Purdue’s role in the aggressive marketing and distribution of opioid pain medications, including OxyContin, which were linked to widespread addiction and overdose deaths across the United States.

Under the settlement terms, Purdue and the Sackler family will contribute billions in payments spread over several years, with funds directed toward addiction treatment, prevention programs, and harm reduction initiatives across all U.S. states.

The agreement also includes strict restrictions preventing the new entity from marketing opioid products, alongside independent oversight and mandatory transparency measures involving more than 30 million internal documents made public.

Despite the shutdown of Purdue Pharma, public health officials warn that the opioid crisis remains far from over. Synthetic opioids such as fentanyl continue to drive overdose deaths, keeping the United States among the countries with the highest drug mortality rates globally.

A major focus of the new framework is shifting responsibility toward healthcare systems, particularly pharmacists, who are increasingly seen as frontline professionals in opioid risk detection, naloxone distribution, and patient education.

Experts note that settlement funds are already being directed into community programs covering treatment access, overdose prevention, and harm reduction strategies, with pharmacies expected to play a key role in delivery due to their accessibility.

However, analysts also caution that financial settlements alone cannot resolve structural issues in prescribing systems, addiction care gaps, and uneven access to treatment across communities.

The closure of Purdue Pharma therefore marks both an ending and a beginning. While one of the most controversial pharmaceutical companies in modern history is gone, the systems built to manage the consequences of the opioid epidemic are only just entering a new phase.

Source: https://pharmacyunlocked.com/2026/05/purdue-pharma-is-gone-a-new-era-of-opioid-accountability-begins-and-pharmacists-are-on-the-front-lines-of-what-comes-next/

Cc nlfpmod seun Dominique

Why We Must Stop Praying Alone and Start Demanding Accountability

For a long time, many of us have lived with a pattern that feels normal but quietly keeps societies stuck. We pray for better roads, jobs, security, electricity, and leadership, but we rarely apply the same intensity to holding institutions responsible for delivering those things.

Over time, this creates a gap. Spiritual expectation grows, while civic pressure weakens. When nothing changes, the response is usually more prayer, more waiting, and more endurance. Meanwhile, the systems that shape everyday life remain largely untouched.

It is important to be clear about something. Most of what determines the quality of life in any country is not random. It is produced by decisions made in government offices, public institutions, and policy rooms. If roads are bad, it is because they were not built or maintained properly. If jobs are scarce, it is because the economic environment and policy direction are not working. If insecurity rises, it is because the systems meant to prevent it are failing.

These are not mysteries. They are outcomes of governance.

Yet in many places, especially where institutions are weak, there is a tendency to treat these outcomes as purely spiritual matters. Bad infrastructure becomes something to pray about. Unemployment becomes something to fast over. National challenges become personal spiritual battles. This gradually shifts attention away from the real point of failure, which is accountability.

Accountability is what keeps systems alive. When leaders know they will be questioned, measured, and possibly removed for poor performance, they behave differently. When there is no consistent pressure, even basic responsibilities begin to collapse. This is not about anger or blame, it is about how systems naturally behave when left without consequences.

There is also a psychological reason this pattern persists. When people repeatedly experience failure from systems they depend on, it becomes emotionally easier to place hope in things that feel beyond human control. Prayer becomes a form of relief, a way to cope with uncertainty. But when coping replaces action completely, societies stop improving.

The uncomfortable truth is that many of the things people pray for already exist as responsibilities assigned to human institutions. Clean water is not a miracle problem. It is an engineering and governance problem. Security is not a mystery problem. It is an intelligence, funding, and coordination problem. Employment is not a spiritual delay. It is an economic structure problem.

None of these improve without sustained human effort directed at the right place.

This is why responsibility matters so much. A society does not change because people only hope for change. It changes when people also demand it, measure it, and refuse to accept repeated failure as normal.

Please do not misquoted, me this is not to reduce faith or dismiss belief. This is to correctly assign responsibility. Prayer can give strength, clarity, and endurance, but it shouldn't replace functioning roads, stable power, fair governance, or effective institutions.

Those are built by people, managed by people, and improved only when people insist on accountability.

In the end, societies rise or fall based on how seriously they treat responsibility. Not just spiritual responsibility, but practical, everyday civic responsibility.

If we want change that is real and lasting, then hope must be matched with pressure, and belief must be matched with accountability.

We need to hold our government accountable more than we currently do.

Happy Sunday.

Cc nlfpmod seun

Wotowotoman:
You forgot to add the most important to Nairaland boys…you wan nack? Money

It might sound like a joke but to effectively nack on a steady you need money.

eagleonearth:
while I appreciate the fact that money is extremely important in our day to day adult life, I must say that your write-up has an undertone of mockery to faith. Paul said that he understands first hand what it means to be rich and what it means to be poor. It is okay to arrive at your lowest at some point in your life in order to appreciate what the homeless, destitutes, and less privileged pass thru everyday. See, sometimes, it takes your lowest to discover a hidden ability in your life and also discover an invisible hand that can provide. Hardwork, skillfulness and daily assertions cannot be overemphasized but a man can still hit his chest and tell you that if birds eat without working, he can also enjoy same grace. If all you think from morning till night is money and how to make it, there will be no space in your head for God. You can get all the money you want and still be suicidal. Money is an instrument meant to work for us and not be chased vigorously. So summarily, God(faith) first. Then money can come in and not the other way around.

You are misunderstanding me. I said categorically that this doesn't mean we should worship money or make money our A-Z. Denying the importance of money is the problem and it seems that's what you are still trying to do.

femi4:
Until you have aterminal disease...you ll understand that money cant be powerless

Unfortunately that's the painful reality.

Mu At some point in life, many Nigerians stop chasing motivation and start chasing survival. At this point is when reality humbles all those sweet sounding quotes people post online.

“Money isn’t everything.”
“Just be happy.”
“Follow your passion.”
“Love is enough.”

This are Nice words but try hearing them when your rent is due, your mother is sick, your account balance is ₦842, your younger ones need school fees, and your phone is suddenly on airplane mode because too many people are calling for debt. Reality changes perspective very fast.

Let’s be honest with ourselves for once.
Money may not buy happiness directly, but lack of money can create a kind of stress that drains happiness from almost everything else.

Anybody that has stayed awake at night calculating bills understands this. Anybody that has entered a hospital in Nigeria without enough cash understands this. Anybody that has watched opportunities pass because transport money or application fees were missing understands this.

Even peace of mind behaves differently when money enters your life. Suddenly you eat better, sleep better, move better, think clearer, help more people, and breathe easier.

This is reality and no, this is not worshipping money. It is simply understanding the world we live in.

Even spiritual spaces run on finances whether people admit it or not. Churches need land, Mosques need maintenance and Outreaches need logistics.

Sound systems, generators, welfare, transportation, media equipment, all require money. Yes Prayer matters, faith matters and haracter matters. But pretending money is “not that important” is one of the biggest coping mechanisms people use against the pain of financial struggle.

In fact, many moral decisions people praise today become easier when basic needs are already covered.

Poverty pressures people psychologically. It can make intelligent people desperate, good people compromise, talented people abandon dreams, relationships become strained and Mental health suffers quietly.

This is why financial stability matters deeply. This is not because money makes someone superiorbut because survival itself has become expensive.

Want to eat healthy?
Money.

Want good healthcare?
Money.

Want stable electricity?
Money.

Want to relocate your parents from hardship?
Money.

Want to raise children properly?
Money.

Want freedom?
Most times, money is attached somewhere.

This is the painful truth many people avoid:

A lot of suffering in this country is not caused by lack of intelligence. It is caused by lack of financial breathing space.

So nobody is saying worship money blindly but stop romanticizing poverty. Stop acting like struggling endlessly is some badge of spiritual purity.

There is dignity in being financially stable.
There is peace in not panicking over every emergency. There is power in being able to solve problems without begging.

So yes, build character,have values,have faith,
have purpose. But also build income because in the real world, purpose without financial structure quickly turns into frustration.

Make money ethically, Learn skills, Invest wisely., Increase your value and Create opportunities for yourself because whether people admit it publicly or not, money quietly affects almost every part of adult life.

5 Myths About Love Many Nigerians Grow Up Believing

The older I get, the more I realize that love is one of the most beautiful things in life… and also one of the most dangerous things when you don’t understand it properly.

A lot of us were raised on fairy tales, Nollywood fantasies, church slogans, relationship quotes and heartbreak songs.

We were taught that love conquers all.But real life in Nigeria will humble that belief very quickly.
Most times love is not what destroys people it is the lies people believe about love.

Let’s talk honestly.

1. “Love Is Enough”

This is probably the biggest lie people keep repeating.

Love is important, yes. But love alone cannot carry a relationship where there is no stability, no emotional maturity, no discipline, no direction and no peace.

Love doesn’t pay hospital bills.
Love doesn’t remove frustration from unemployment.
Love doesn’t automatically fix anger issues, cheating, irresponsibility or addiction.

Many couples genuinely love themselves but still suffer badly together because life pressure is stronger than feelings.

Anybody who has experienced financial hardship inside a relationship understands this deeply.

You can love somebody and still be miserable together.

2. “If Somebody Truly Loves You, They Will Never Hurt You”

This one sounds sweet until life teaches you otherwise.

Human beings are flawed.

People can genuinely love you and still disappoint you because of weakness, immaturity, trauma, temptation, selfishness or poor decisions.

A woman can love a man and still disrespect him during anger. A man can love a woman and still cheat. Love does not automatically remove human flaws.

This is why character matters more than mere emotions because emotions change quickly.
Character is what remains when emotions cool down.

3. “Suffering Together Means The Love Is Real”


Nigeria especially romanticizes struggle too much. You’ll see two people drowning financially, emotionally exhausted, fighting every week, but they’ll still say: “At least we love each other.”

Love is not supposed to become permanent suffering. Please don't get me wrong in this.
However, many people stay in bad relationships because they think endurance automatically means loyalty.

No.

Sometimes you are not enduring love.
You are enduring dysfunction. Real love should add peace to your life, not remove your sanity completely.

4. “Women Love The Same Way Men Do”

This conversation always makes people emotional, but let’s be honest.

Men and women are not wired exactly the same when it comes to attraction and relationships.

A lot of men can stay emotionally attached even while struggling financially. But many women start losing attraction when a man becomes unstable for too long financially, mentally or socially.

That doesn’t always make women evil.

A lot of women grew up watching suffering closely.
They saw their mothers struggle.
They saw poverty destroy homes.
So security affects attraction for many of them whether people admit it or not.

This is why many men get shocked when a woman who once sounded deeply in love suddenly changes after prolonged hardship.

Painful reality, but that's the reality.

5. “Marriage Automatically Guarantees Happiness”

Marriage is not magic. It does not suddenly heal loneliness, immaturity, trauma or confusion.

Some people are deeply unhappy inside marriage but cannot leave because of children, religion, shame, finances or society.

Some married people secretly miss the peace they had while single.

Marriage only amplifies who both people already are. If two emotionally unhealthy people marry each other, the wedding ring will not suddenly create wisdom. That’s why choosing well matters more than simply marrying quickly.

One painful thing I’ve noticed is this:

Many Nigerians are not actually taught how relationships work.We are only taught how to desire relationships.

Nobody teaches emotional intelligence.
Nobody teaches conflict resolution.
Nobody teaches boundaries.
Nobody teaches financial compatibility.
Nobody teaches psychological stability.

So people enter relationships with fantasies and leave with trauma.

The truth is Love is beautiful, very beautiful. But love without wisdom can destroy your finances, mental health, confidence and future. That’s why as I grow older, I no longer ask: “Who loves me the most?”

I ask:
“Who is emotionally healthy?
Who is consistent?
Who brings peace?
Who has discipline?
Who has values?
Who can build with me during both comfort and hardship?”

Attraction can start relationships but wisdom is what sustains them and honestly, many Nigerians need relationship education more than relationship motivation.

Some heartbreaks are avoidable from the beginning if people simply understood human nature better.

This is my take.

Begging With Attitude? Make It Make Sense

This is what some people are waking up to these days and it honestly leaves you confused (see pics for more clarification).

Someone ask you for help. Not something you owe them. They came on their own, asking.

Then somehow, in the same breath, they carry entitlement, pride, and even rudeness like they are the ones doing you a favor.

How do you beg and still be aggressive?
How do you ask for help and still be ready to threaten, “I will block you”?

At that point, it stops being about the money or the request. It becomes about mindset.

Because normally, when someone genuinely needs help, there is humility. There is respect. There is understanding that the other person is not obligated.

But when you see entitlement mixed with begging, it tells you something else is going on.

It is no longer “I need help.”
It becomes “I expect you to help me.”

And once expectation enters, gratitude disappears.

That is why you now see people making demands instead of requests. Getting upset when you say no. Acting like your refusal is an offense.

But the truth is simple.

Help is given, not owed.
Support is voluntary, not compulsory.

The moment someone starts acting like they are entitled to your pocket, they have already disqualified themselves.

Because if respect is not present when asking, it will not appear after receiving.

So the real question is not whether she was rude.

The real question is why someone who needs help feels bold enough to threaten the person they are asking.

That alone tells you everything you need to know.

What would you do in that situation?

Cum4me:
Sleeping with someone partner hit different the pleasure is completely insane. Mostly those ladies in a serious relationship. As far no be rape oga enjoy it while it lasts

Nairaland will never cease to amaze me

What do you think Nairalanders?

DOUBLE STANDARDS OR DIFFERENT REALITIES? THE WAY PEOPLE VIEW CHEATING

This is one of those topics people argue about endlessly, but very few say it plainly.

When a man cheats or has multiple women, and when a woman does the same, society does not react to both in the same way. Some call it unfair. Some call it hypocrisy. But the reality is that people see them differently, whether anyone likes it or not.

A common way this idea is explained is through simple comparisons.

A man moving between multiple women is often likened to someone washing his hands in different bowls. The bowls remain separate. Nothing overlaps.

But when a woman moves between multiple men, the comparison changes. It is seen as many people washing their hands in one bowl. The same space, shared repeatedly.

Another analogy people use is that of a padlock and a key.

A padlock that can be opened by many keys is seen as weak and unreliable. It has lost its purpose.

But a key that can open many padlocks is seen as valuable. It is described as a master key, something rare and worth keeping.

The same pattern shows up again when people talk about cars and drivers.

A car driven by many different drivers is often described as worn out or overused.

But a driver who has handled many cars is called experienced, even exceptional.

These comparisons are used to explain why society reacts differently, even if people disagree with the logic behind them.

Some argue it is rooted in biology. Others say it is shaped by long-standing social norms. Either way, the perception exists, and it influences how people judge behavior.

Whether one sees it as fair or unfair, it remains one of the most debated dynamics in modern relationships.

And the truth is simple.

Life is not always balanced. Life is not always fair.

Cc nlfpmod seun Dominique myndd44

MarketDispatch:
Many condoms being sold in Nigeria may not meet proper safety standards. Some people claim that certain products feel more like plastic than genuine latex or natural rubber. This raises serious concerns about quality control, public health, and consumer protection.

Yes. I have seen people complain of foula.

OredoPikin:
we have the refinery and we have the crude in our backyard
why is what is happening in far away Iran affecting us?

If Nigeria is a serious country, this is an opportunity for us to make more money as we will start selling our crude very high to neigbouring countries.
why must the citizen of Nigeria suffer
someone should come and explain to me because i dont understand any longer
or are we still importing fuel?

Yes we have the crude but we haven't utilized the bye products to make plastics, this is where dangote is gradually expanding to.

Zumarocket:
You are saying this becos you were not born in the slum.

I think you are misreading my comment.

SmartPolician:
God may be perfect, but natural things aren't perfect! That's why we are here - to make God's creation better. God created us in His image and likeness. That means we are co-creators.

That's why when I see people beg God to do for them what He has given us the power to do for ourselves, I just shake my head. They just don't understand the place of God in their lives.

I like how you put this.

Nigeria may soon face a sharp rise in condom prices and possible shortages if the escalating conflict between the United States and Iran continues disrupting global oil and shipping supply chains, health experts have warned.

At first glance, many Nigerians may wonder:
“What does war in the Middle East have to do with condoms in Nigeria?”

The answer is global manufacturing.

Condom production depends heavily on petrochemical based materials including synthetic rubber, ammonia and silicone lubricants, many of which are tied directly to oil markets and international shipping routes currently under pressure from the US-Iran crisis.

The warning became more serious after Karex, the world’s largest condom manufacturer and a major supplier for brands like Durex and Trojan, announced plans to increase prices by up to 30 percent or more if disruptions continue.

According to Karex CEO Goh Miah Kiat, freight costs, raw material prices and shipping delays have all risen sharply since the conflict escalated. The company reportedly produces over five billion condoms yearly.

Healthcare stakeholders in Nigeria say the effects could quickly spill into the local market because Nigeria still relies heavily on imported condoms.

National Chairman of the Association of Community Pharmacists of Nigeria, Ambrose Ezeh, warned that scarcity of premium brands could shift demand toward cheaper alternatives commonly used by average Nigerians, forcing prices up across the board.

Former Pharmaceutical Society of Nigeria President Olumide Akintayo also warned that condom shortages or unaffordable prices could worsen HIV transmission, sexually transmitted infections and unintended pregnancies.

The concern is especially serious because Nigeria already faces a major condom access gap.

A joint report by the AIDS Healthcare Foundation, National Agency for the Control of AIDS and NOI Polls found that while Nigerians currently use about 587 million condoms yearly, the country actually needs around 1.15 billion annually to achieve effective national coverage.

That means Nigeria already has a deficit of more than 560 million condoms every year even before any global supply disruption.

Health experts now argue that local condom manufacturing should no longer be seen as just a private business opportunity, but a strategic national public health priority.

With Nigeria already battling HIV, rising STI rates, economic hardship and pressure on healthcare systems, many experts fear that prolonged supply disruptions could create a silent public health crisis with consequences far beyond pharmacies and supermarkets.

Source: https://punchng.com/nigeria-risks-hike-in-condom-prices-over-escalating-us-iran-war/

oz4real83:
Nice writeup. OP also add opposite sex "bestie". Why should a married person have opposite sex "bestie"? I don't see them as ordinary friends, I take them as "bangers" that didn't want to marry but still continue banging each other I no dey like any "love stress" oo, once I suspect anything, it is over.

yes you have a pount there. Bestie is also worth questioning.

Nice2023:
AS A a WOMAN, HERE ARE 10 MEN YOU MUST NEVER MARRY:

1. A mummy’s boy.

2. A Yahoo boy.

3. A man who is more than 7 years older than you.

4. A man who has been divorced at least twice.

5. A man who demands 50/50 in finances but refuses 50/50 in chores.

6. A man who wants you to get pregnant before he marries you.

7. A man who supports APC, this present government.

8. A man who despises his mother, no matter how evil she is.

9. A man who has no voice of his own and constantly seeks validation from others.

10. A man who has no space of his own and still lives under his parents’ roof.

Above all, love God.

THE LIST SEEMS GOOD BUT WHEN YOU UNPACK IT DEEPLY IT HAS A LOT OF SHORTCOMINGS

1. No mummy's boys
Translation: No man should loves his mother deeply. You think the man who can't honor the woman who raised him will definitely honor you... right?

2. No Yahoo boys
Valid. But also the lowest bar imaginable. "Don't marry a criminal" isn't advice,it's survival instinct.

3. No man 7+ years older
So a 28-year-old woman should reject a 36-year-old man with his life together... for a 27-year-old still figuring it out? Age-gap fear masquerading as wisdom.

4. No twice-divorced man
Because people never grow, learn, or change right?
Two failed marriages = permanent disqualification. But her past? "That's different."

5. Demands 50/50 finances, refuses 50/50 chores The only seemingly coherent point on the list. Hypocrisy is real.
But notice: she demands fairness for only herself.

6. No "get pregnant first" men

Valid boundary. But also: basic self-respect. Again, lowest bar.

7. No APC supporters
Political litmus test for marriage. So shared values, chemistry, and character matter less than who someone voted for. Childish.

8. No man who despises his mother—"no matter how evil she is"
Wait. So a man must love a genuinely evil mother... but also can't be a "mummy's boy" (point 1)?

The contradiction: Love your mother too much = bad. Recognize she's toxic = also bad.
The real message: The mother must exist in a narrow band of acceptable devotion enough to prove he can love women, not enough to compete with wife-worship.

9. No man who seeks validation from others
But the entire list is about her validating him worthy. The irony writes itself.

10. No man living with parents In this economy? This is a good point. However also note the current state of Nigeria. The housing market? With Nigerian rent? A man saving aggressively, supporting family, or building before leaping = automatic disqualification.

Real adult partnership isn't a checklist of disqualifications.
It's discernment of character not performance of preferences.

A man can:
Love his mother deeply and prioritize his wife
Be older and be a better partner for it
Have failed before and grown from it
Live with family and be building something real

Disagree politically and be morally sound. But that requires judgment, not a list. Lists are for children who want guarantees. Adults understand trade-offs.

THE REAL RED FLAG
The woman who comes with a 10-point rejection list...
...usually has a 0-point contribution plan.
She knows exactly what he must not be.
She's silent on what she must bring.
It's not about finding a good man.
It's about finding a man who fits a narrative where she's always the prize and he's always auditioning.

You want a good man? Stop disqualifying and start discerning.
Character isn't a checklist. It's consistency over time, under pressure, when no one's watching.
And if your entire framework is "must never," you're not looking for a partner.
You're looking for a fantasy that confirms your unexamined sense of entitlement.

ManknowThyself:
Boundaries are not negotiable!!!!!!!


When you cross it, there’s consequences of the exit door.

Never hesitate to show them the exit door with all alacrity.


Life too sweet to they accommodate nonsense from adults that deliberately knows what they are doing.

When you allow a cross of boundary, you definitely lose everything as a man.

Men need set boundaries from the beginning of any friendship or relationship.

In a nutshell, anyone that crossed your boundaries have no respect for his or herself and don’t hesitate to disrespect them with their actions.

You are so in point chief.

Some Boundaries Shouldn’t Even Be Debated

If you’re in a serious relationship, there are certain people you honestly should not still be entertaining emotionally.

Not because your partner is “insecure.”
Not because you are being “controlled.”

But because relationships without boundaries eventually breed disrespect, suspicion, confusion, and emotional chaos.

If you are committed to someone, constantly keeping close contact with:

• your ex
• someone who clearly likes you.
• someone who used to like you.
• someone you once liked.
• someone obviously waiting for your relationship to fail.
• someone who openly disrespects your partner
• bestie of the opposite gender.
…is simply unnecessary risk.

Many people like pretending these things are harmless until emotional lines start crossing slowly.

Most emotional cheating does not begin from nowhere.

It usually starts from:
“It’s just conversation.”
“We are only friends.”
“You’re overthinking.”
“It’s not that deep.”

Then over time:
constant chatting,
private emotional bonding,
attention seeking,
complaining about your partner,
hidden conversations,
and inappropriate familiarity start growing.

A lot of relationship problems are not caused by one big event.

They are caused by small ignored boundaries.

People must stop confusing “access” with “entitlement.”

Not everybody from your past needs permanent access to your present.

And not every friendship deserves preservation once you enter a committed relationship.

Maturity is understanding that protecting your relationship sometimes requires distance from certain people, certain conversations, and certain emotional connections.

That is not toxicity.

That is respect.

Cc seun nlfpmod

Not everyone sees it this way, that's the sad part.

Have Nigerian Men Lowered the Bar Too Much?

Sometimes if you observe modern relationships carefully, especially in Nigeria, you’ll notice something strange.

The expectations on men keep increasing…

But the expectations on many women keep reducing.

These days, some men are already impressed simply because a woman is not “billing too much.”

Think about it.

A lady comes to visit you, and somehow it is already expected that you’ll give her transport fare, extra money, food, and more before she leaves.

You visit her too…

And somehow you are still the one expected to spend again.

At some point, many men stopped asking:
“What exactly am I receiving apart from company?”

Now the standard has become so low that basic decency is treated like premium wife material.

“She’s not materialistic.”
“She understands when I’m broke.”
“She doesn’t pressure me too much.”

These are now seen as rare qualities.

Meanwhile, many men are carrying financial pressure, emotional stress, work struggles, and still expected to constantly prove themselves through spending.

The funny part is this:

A lot of men are not even asking for luxury from women.

They are not asking her to pay rent.
They are not asking her to finance businesses.
They are not asking her to carry family responsibilities.

Many just want:
✔️ Peace
✔️ Respect
✔️ Loyalty
✔️ Genuine support
✔️ Someone with reasonable self discipline

But somehow even these basics now look like “high standards.”

The reality is that too many men have become afraid of asking for reciprocity because society already conditioned them to believe their value only comes from what they can provide.

So once a woman simply exists and shows small attention, some men already feel lucky.

That is why some people stay in one-sided relationships for years.

Not because they are loved deeply.

But because the bar has dropped dangerously low.

A healthy relationship should not feel like one person is constantly auditioning with money while the other simply shows up.

Effort should exist on both sides.

That is what balance looks like.

MaxInDHouse:
I have seen something further under the sun, that the swift do not always win the race, nor do the mighty win the battle, nor do the wise always have the food, nor do the intelligent always have the riches, nor do those with knowledge always have success, because [b]time and unexpected events overtake them all. For man does not know his time. Ecclesiastes 9:11-12a[/b]

God never created anyone to be rich or poor rather it's time and unexpected events that's affecting us all because no one knows the right time to strike so when someone strikes and hit the target don't think God destined him to be rich and when someone misses his target don't say God is against him!🙂

You are making sense.

paxonel:
I think God deliberately and randomly assign that everyone should be born into different background.
But it doesn't matter what background you find yourself. What matters is your personal development

You said it well. The background shouldn't be an excuse.

I’ve been thinking about something that gets said a lot, especially in conversations around money, struggle, and success in Nigeria.

You often hear people say:

“God created some people to never lack.”

It sounds comforting, especially when life is hard. It gives a simple explanation for why things are unequal. But the more you look at real life closely, the more that explanation starts to fall apart.

Because when you look around in places like Nigeria, the differences we see between people are very clear. Some people are born into stability, good education, and access. Others are born into environments where just surviving is already a struggle.

Now the question is, did God deliberately assign all of that at birth?

Or is something else going on?

If we are being honest, a big part of what shapes people’s outcomes is not just divine assignment, but also foundation.

Some people are simply starting from a place where someone before them already laid something down. Maybe it’s land. Maybe it’s education. Maybe it’s a business. Maybe it’s just connections built over time and that advantage did not appear randomly. It was built by effort, decisions, and sometimes sacrifice from earlier generations.

On the other hand, there are people who are also working hard, but they are starting from weaker foundations. Fewer opportunities, less structure, challenging environment and sometimes systems that are already stacked against them. So even if the effort is there, the outcome is slower or harder to see.

In moments like that, people often shift to spiritual explanations. Things like curses, attacks, my village people or “it’s just my destiny.”
This happens especially when someone is trying repeatedly and still not seeing results, it becomes easier to believe there is something beyond the physical blocking them.

But here is where I think we need to be careful.

If we believe in a loving God and that he is faithful and just, then the idea that He deliberately created some people to permanently suffer while others automatically succeed becomes difficult to reconcile. It raises questions that don’t have easy answers.

What makes more sense when we look at reality is that outcomes are shaped more by systems, environment, access, and decisions over time, rather than fixed divine favoritism.

In Nigeria specifically, this is even more obvious because opportunity is not evenly distributed. Where you are born, who you know, and what you are exposed to often has a huge impact on where you end up.

This does not mean prayer or faith is not important and it also does not mean effort does not matter. It just means we should be careful about replacing real-world causes with simple spiritual explanations that stop us from thinking deeper and working towards success.

Because once someone believes “this is just how God made it,” they stop asking questions, stop building, and stop looking for solutions.

But when you start to see that a lot of what we call destiny is actually shaped by structure and choices, your mindset changes. You start focusing more on what can be built, improved, or changed.

At the end of the day, what we are seeing is not random assignment. It is layered outcomes built over time and understanding that changes how you see life, responsibility, and even opportunity.

Happy Sunday Nairalanders. May be love of God be with you all.

Shantyken:
What is PMTCT
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prevention of mother to child transmission
It's a way to stop mothers from transmitting HIV to children, every standard hospital has it.