₦airaland Forum

oxygenlove:
God said… go yee into the world .. be fruitful and multiply…..

That statement is hormonal in nature for human body functions .. (The testosterone and estrogen) playing vital role in sexual health can’t be underrated....

If you don’t have sex for a long time .. you will be f^cked upp….
F^ck and have rest of mind…. Before konji kee you…

Come and elaborate on this ooo

Fiscus105:
Hi


If your submission to be taken seriously, 95% of people in the world would have contacted the deadly disease.

If you you know the amount of multiple sex partners, every mature man and woman have.

So you saying just because they didn't contact life threatening disease. It is very okay to have multiple partners without proper protection and safe practices.

U

Diamond098454:
Very very difficult for men but we women can control ourselves not 100 percent but we can resist a difficult situation

Yes. But i believe out of 100 ladies only 60% have that self control.

Diamond098454:
Human can't do without sex and people hardly stay out of sexual relationship but despite how sweet love making can be, the truth remains valid

Good morals, self control and self discipline is the best way to stay safe.

Though it can be difficult and challenging but self control is still the best way to avoid the risk.

T0BY:
Shout out to those guys/men that don't sleep with anything on skirt despite the strong and powerful sexual urge.

Having multiple partner isn't an achievement but then everyone is free to make a choice and live their life.

Indeed.
You said it all.

Truvelisback:
You have said it all. Marriage now is not for the weak because the harsh economy, poverty rate, unemployment and underemployment rate have ruined everything, especially in Nigeria. It's very difficult to find true love. Most people especially ladies now get married to escape poverty and hardship.

Yea. They marry who is ready.

femi4:
Its not old fashioned but redefined

The roles ain't the same as it used to be

This is exactly my point.

ManknowThyself:
There is no excuse for the failure of most marriages in our society today but family have a bigger role!!!!!!


It starts from the failing of most families to instill character in terms of respect and discipline in kids at the right time.

We have lost the true cultural values of marriage!!!!!!!
Not until we start with our generation by imposing the ancient value of family, most marriages will fail.


This generation devalued marriage hopes by modernizing the sacred and cultural importance of it.


I'm a modern man with an ancient value, so my clarity can only accept a modern woman with ancient value of marriage.


We have to start building the family with ancient cultural values in a modern world of today.

A true man needs respect to love his wife!
A true woman needs love to respect her husband!

The problem is most of this generation do the opposite, they claim their wife love them without respect.
They forgot you can only respect what you love, so before a woman respect you there's true love.
When a woman disrespect you there's no love cos you can't respect who you don't love as your man.


It's all going to start from us bringing up a discipline and respectful families to the society.


I respect your opinion, more grace man.

You made a very interesting point. Something needs to be done on thw current realities of our marriages.

Let’s be real for a moment this isn’t a troll post, it’s a reality check.

Sometimes I ask myself: is marriage as we knew it simply outdated? Not because love is dead, but because the environment that once supported marriage has fundamentally changed.

Before you get angry, read to understand.

1. The Economy Has Redefined Commitment
In West Africa especially, marriage is no longer just emotional, it’s a financial stress test. As a man, if you’re not reasonably stable, marriage doesn’t bring peace; it brings pressure, anxiety, and in many cases, depression. Love doesn’t pay rent or school fees.

2. The Timeline Has Shifted
Decades ago, a 25-year-old man likely had years of work experience, a steady income, and a clear path.
Today? Many are unemployed graduates, interns, or still “finding themselves.” The system changed, but expectations didn’t.

3. Gender Equality Changed the Market (Not a Bad Thing Just Reality)
Women are educated, empowered, and ambitious and that’s progress. But it also means many now want a fully established man, not someone still under construction. Growth partnerships are rare; finished products are in demand.

4. Marriage Is Now High-Cost, High-Risk
Dowries were once symbolic. Today, some families treat marriage negotiations like asset liquidation.
Cost of living is brutal. Feeding yourself is hard enough add a spouse and children, and the math becomes scary.

5. Roles Are No Longer Clear
Back then, roles were defined (right or wrong). Today, roles are negotiated and negotiation requires emotional intelligence most people were never taught. Some outsource domestic roles. Others resent them. Tension follows.

6. Options Have Exploded
Travel was limited. Communities were smaller. Choices were fewer.
Now? Infinite options, endless comparisons, and constant dissatisfaction. Marriage used to signal responsibility. Today, many see it as a trap.

7. Tolerance Levels Have Dropped
People were more patient then sometimes too patient.
Today, tolerance is low. Exit doors are wide open. One mistake and it’s “I deserve better.”

8. Sex Is No Longer a Scarce Resource
Let’s not pretend. Intimacy once came mostly through marriage. That alone pushed commitment. Today, access is easy, so the incentive structure has changed.

So no, marriage isn’t dead.
But the conditions that made it work effortlessly in the past are gone.

Marriage now requires:

A. Strategy
B. Emotional maturity
C. Financial realism
D. Clear alignment and
E. Brutal honesty

If you’re doing it blindly, you’re gambling.

And before anyone asks
No, this isn’t me talking.
It’s my 95-year-old grandma observing the world and shaking her head.

The end.

ucheagu:
Kpekus wey don gbim don gbim

One uncomfortable truth many don't like to talk about is the real health risk that comes with multiple sexual partners especially when basic sexual health practices are ignored.

When people move from partner to partner without regular testing or proper treatment, infections don’t just disappear on their own. Untreated STIs can linger, worsen, and become easily transmissible.
Sometimes, you don’t even need a diagnosis to sense that something isn’t right : unusual odors, discomfort, or recurring symptoms are warning signals, not “normal.”

This reality has made many people cautious not out of judgment, but out of self-preservation. The fear of contracting an infection is real, and it’s valid. Sexual freedom without responsibility eventually creates consequences for everyone involved.

This isn’t about shaming any gender. It’s about accountability, hygiene, and health discipline.

Regular testing. Prompt treatment. Honest communication. Respect for your partner’s well-being.

Those are the real markers of sexual maturity.

Ignoring infections doesn’t make them disappear, it spreads risk. And no moment of pleasure is worth long-term health damage.

If we want healthier dating and sexual environments, responsibility has to be part of the conversation not an afterthought.

The Reason Why Many Men Are Called “Broke” by People Who Can’t Afford Their Own Demands is Due to A Paradox of Perception

Let’s cut through the noise.

A man can have a solid apartment, a stable income stream, upward mobility, and long-term potential that outclasses most of his peers.
Yet an Almajiri-level critic : someone struggling for basic sustenance, someone who relies on chance, survival instincts, and occasional handouts can look him in the eye and call him broke.

Why?
Because he can’t finance a lifestyle she cannot finance for herself.

That’s the irony of modern dating economics.

In today’s social climate, “broke” is no longer an objective financial status it’s a punishment word for any man who refuses to sponsor another person’s lifestyle fantasy.

And this is exactly where the systemic damage begins.

When a society conditions men to be treated like lepers whenever they hit a financial low, those same men often hit their breakthrough with a deep backlog of resentment, scars, and a revenge mindset.

Suddenly, the man they ignored becomes the man they admire and he starts making choices from a place of memory, not maturity.
He remembers every insult.
Every dismissal.
Every moment he was treated like he carried a contagious disease called “No Money.”

This is how cycles of emotional mismanagement are born.

Because truth be told:

If men used financial qualifications to measure women the same way women often measure men…

90% wouldn’t even make the eligibility list.

Financial contribution is rarely requested.
Economic stability is rarely expected.
Yet men are required to show up as providers even to people who cannot sustain their own expectations.

Here’s the uncomfortable reality:

Economic imbalance fuels emotional imbalance.

And until we fix the metrics, the narratives, and the entitlement,
we will keep producing relationships built on pressure, not partnership.

End.

NoahHadNoArk:
Well said Brother


Keep the Intelligence and Enlightenment going.


With love from your biggest Fan.

Thanks. You are the first here to focus on the topic.

There’s a recurring disconnect in conversations about men and sex, largely because male sexual biology is often misunderstood or oversimplified.

Biologically speaking, men have higher baseline testosterone levels, which directly influence libido. This is why most healthy men experience spontaneous erections during sleep, on waking, or even without conscious sexual thoughts. It’s a physiological response, not always a deliberate intention.

A man can be praying, studying, working, or sleeping, and his body may still respond sexually. This isn’t moral failure or spiritual weakness, it’s biology. The male reproductive system is designed to be responsive and ready. That’s simply how nature wired it.

History, psychology, and even religious texts acknowledge how powerful sexual drive can be in men. Many strong, disciplined individuals leaders, kings, warriors have made costly mistakes where desire overrode judgment. Not because they were evil, but because unmanaged impulses are dangerous.

That said, biology explains behavior it does not excuse lack of control.

Self-discipline is the real mark of maturity. Not every urge needs action. Not every erection means consent, entitlement, or justification. Growth means learning restraint, boundaries, and respect for others.

At the same time, men should not be demonized for having sexual urges, just as women should not be objectified for existing. Mutual understanding is the goal.

The conversation should move away from shame and blame, and toward education, accountability, and emotional intelligence.

In short:

Male libido is real and biologically driven
Desire does not equal intention
Self-control is non-negotiable
Responsibility defines character

Understanding this balance helps everyone men and women navigate relationships with clarity instead of confusion.

Au revoir

dollytino4real:
Is like i forced my man into marrying me, because he still see himself young man of late forty with a son of 15 years

Too bad.
But i don't think he feels like yiu forced him.

It's just that married life is something else.

Here’s the hard truth, stated plainly:

Men are rarely prepared for marriage because society never trains them for it.

From a young age, women are conditioned to expect marriage.
They are taught relationship skills, emotional labor, home management, communication, and long-term planning consciously or unconsciously. Marriage is part of their mental roadmap.

Men, on the other hand, are trained for survival, not partnership.
“Make money.”
“Be strong.”
“Don’t show emotions.”
“Figure it out as you go.”

So marriage often hits men like a sudden job they never applied for but are expected to master immediately.

That’s why many men enter marriage:

Financially focused but emotionally untrained
Responsible but relationally unskilled
Willing to provide, but unsure how to connect

Marriage isn’t just about paying bills or being present in the house.
It’s about communication, empathy, adaptability, conflict resolution, and emotional availability skills many men were never taught.

This gap is why:

Men feel overwhelmed in marriage
Women feel “unmet” despite provision
Conflicts escalate instead of resolve

The solution isn’t blaming either gender.
It’s intentional preparation.

Men need to start preparing for marriage the same way they prepare for careers:

Learn emotional intelligence
Practice communication
Understand partnership, not dominance
Develop self-awareness and accountability

Marriage is not an instinct.
It’s a skillset.

And any skillset you don’t train for, will expose you when it matters most.

Cc seun nlfpmod Dominique

In today’s world, conversations around family, fatherhood, and relationships often spark heated debates. One recurring theme is the role of stepfathers and the choices men make when it comes to starting or joining a family.

The Call for Standards and Options

“Be that man with options, standards, and vision. Start your own family don’t join one.”

This perspective emphasizes the importance of men setting boundaries and making deliberate choices about their future. For some, being a stepfather feels like stepping into a role that doesn’t align with the sacrifices they made earlier in life.

The Step‑Parent Dilemma
Many men express hesitation about becoming stepfathers.

One voice puts it plainly: “I tried to be a stepfather, but it wasn’t for me. You must know that the baby’s father will still be around.”

This sentiment reflects a fear of emotional complications, divided loyalties, and the challenge of raising children who are not biologically theirs. Critics often label such views as insensitive, but proponents argue it is simply a matter of personal choice — not a reflection of disrespect toward single mothers or blended families.

Personal Decisions, Not Condemnations
It’s important to note that choosing not to step into a blended family is not necessarily a judgment on others.

As one man explains:
“When I say I did not avoid teen pregnancy just to become a stepfather, I’m not being rude. It has nothing to do with the family I’m from or the children I’ll have in my marriage. My offspring will also have their own views on this matter.”

This highlights a broader truth: every individual has the right to define their path, and those choices should be respected.

The Reality of Different Perspectives
While some men firmly reject the idea of becoming stepfathers, others embrace it under certain conditions. One candid admission reads: “For some of us who have five baby mamas, we have no problem dating single mothers provided she is cooperative.”
This shows the diversity of perspectives: for some, blended families are a deal‑breaker; for others, they are simply part of life’s complexity.

The Bigger Picture
Ultimately, the debate is not about condemning single mothers or glorifying biological parenthood. It is about recognizing that men, like women, have the right to set standards, make choices, and live by them. Some will choose to build families from scratch, while others will embrace blended households.

What matters most is honesty, clarity, and respect. Every path comes with challenges, but also with opportunities for love, growth, and fulfillment.

DrFunmisticGlow:
Finally someone said it.

Bashing the other gender is easy to do, but sharing true knowledge takes courage

Today me and you see eye to eye on this topic.

The Truth About Tightness: Why Everything You've Heard About The Vagina Is Wrong

A lot of people still misunderstand how the female body works, and it leads to unnecessary shame, wrong assumptions, and damaged relationships.

One wrong assumption people make is that a woman vagina can be loose. It's wrong.

Let’s break this down clearly:

It is NOT the vagina itself that becomes “loose.”
It is the pelvic floor muscles that weaken.

Those muscles are the same ones responsible for holding the bladder, uterus, and rectum in place. They stretch during childbirth, and they weaken with age, lifestyle, multiple pregnancies, chronic stress, obesity, and yes, frequent sexual activity with poor muscle recovery.

So when a woman feels “loose,” it’s not because the vagina has somehow permanently stretched open it’s because the muscles supporting the vagina are fatigued, under-trained, or weakened.
Just like every other muscle in the human body.

And here’s the part that most men never say out loud:

Many men get shamed into thinking their penis is “small,” simply because the pelvic floor muscles of the woman they’re with are weak.

This false narrative damages a man’s confidence, increases anxiety during sex, and makes people fight over a problem that has NOTHING to do with penis size.

If the pelvic floor is weak:
– The vagina feels less tight
– Sensation decreases
– Penetration feels “different”
– And the man wrongly feels inadequate

It’s biology, not manhood.

The solution is not insults.
The solution is not shame.
The solution is knowledge.

Women with strong pelvic floor muscles naturally feel tighter, enjoy better orgasms, experience less pain, and maintain better bladder control.

That’s why:
• Pilates helps
• Kegel exercises help
• Squats help
• Core strengthening helps
• Postpartum recovery matters
• Even breathing and posture matter

A healthy pelvic floor = a healthier sexual experience for both partners.

So let’s stop spreading myths.
Let’s stop weaponizing ignorance.
Let’s stop mis-labeling natural physiology as someone’s “fault.”

Sexual health is not a blaming contest.
It’s an education gap.

Once you understand the pelvic floor, you stop shaming men…
You stop shaming women…
And you start understanding how the human body TRULY works.

Knowledge is power.
Ignorance is the real enemy.

Cc nlfpmod Dominique seun

RexTramadol1:
Everywhere go fess blur na

Lol why

HeatSeeker:
Economics is always the major determinant in any relationship. When I say "economics," know that it is not always about money, but opportunity costs and other benefits (some of which you highlighted).

All relationships are inherently transactional in nature. No one maintains an interaction that does not benefit them either financially, emotionally, physically, spiritually, socially, and/or psychologically. There is always an exchange of benefits and that is the Koko

You are right. There is an exchange one way or the other.

Let’s strip relationships down to their core. No filters. No fluff.

Imagine this:
Remove sex from a relationship and suddenly, many men discover that the emotional, intellectual, and spiritual value they hoped for… isn’t there.

Remove money from a relationship and many women begin to question the purpose of staying.

This isn’t a jab. It’s a wake-up call.

We’ve built a culture where transactional intimacy has replaced transformational connection. Where physical access and financial support are mistaken for love, loyalty, and legacy.

But here’s the truth:
✅ If sex is the glue, the bond will break.
✅ If money is the magnet, the attraction will fade.
✅ If purpose, growth, and shared values aren’t present then what’s left?

Relationships must evolve beyond survival economics and sensual convenience.
They must become partnerships of purpose, alliances of ambition, and safe spaces for soul-level growth.

The future belongs to couples who:
- Build empires, not just memories
- Exchange wisdom, not just pleasure
- Invest in each other’s evolution, not just each other’s comfort

This is the era of conscious coupling.
Where love is not a transaction but a transformation.

Let’s stop asking “What do you bring to the table?” and start asking:
“Can we build a new table together?”

If this post made you pause, reflect, or rethink drop a comment. Let’s elevate the conversation.

RelationshipIntelligence #EmotionalMaturity

Stephen0mozzy:
Y'all keep heaping the blame to women. As a man you should ashamed of yourself if you can't hold your WILL against incurring wedding expenses that you're not capable of handling even by yourself.

About unsupportive partners, y'all are the ones who run to make a wife out of a woman who doesn't spend her own money on you, s woman who doesn't work, a woman who doesn't know that marriage is PARTNERSHIP - y'all leave virtuous hardworking women, and chase after women who are chasing after wigs and BBL when their mates are chasing career and ambition.

There are men and women who are liabilities - YOU DON'T MARRY THEM. AND IF YOU DO, STFU AND LIVE WITH YOUR DECISION.

Note, I'm a full blooded man - with balls 😝

I might not agree with you totally but you sure have a lot of points that makes sense.

ridwintin89:
Those ungrateful fellows would start calling you broke guy.

Thank God they will start vigil to see husband.

I cannot put one liability at home.

If you cannot support stay your papa house.

They will be shouting they want man to take care of them, please are they handicapped.

The best is to deceive them and make them a baby mama

At this point. Name calling doesn't move me.

I pass my message across to whoever cares to read and heed.

Let’s talk facts, not feelings. Marriage today has quietly become one of the most financially inefficient systems for men.

Think about it:

Proposal costs: videographers, photographers, decorations, outfits, and content production… often fully funded by the man. Reward? Likes, engagement, and social pressure.

Bride price: once symbolic, now an inflated checklist for uncles and family members.

Weddings: traditional + white + registry, easily ₦10–20M. And what do most grooms get in return? No house, no investments, just bills and social validation.

Registry fees: ₦50k–₦120k on top of everything else.

Stack it all together, and the man is the lead investor, the woman is the majority shareholder. Upfront costs, lifetime responsibilities. Incentives? Misaligned. Society says, “Be romantic, do more, prove yourself”, but the economics of it are brutal.

This isn’t about women or love. It’s about a broken system. Debt masquerading as culture, social approval masquerading as romance.

The smarter path?

Keep proposals and weddings strategic, not extravagant.

Share responsibilities upfront.

Build a partnership that creates wealth, not debt.

A marriage built on spectacle collapses.
A marriage built on strategy thrives.

Discussion: How can we reshape cultural expectations to make marriage sustainable for men without killing romance?


Cc nlfpmod seun Dominique

Morizo:
This is where the world is coasting now esp with this generation of GenZ. The so called boy has been doing this before he was 14 given his confidence and handling skills. He might have been the one who approached the teacher and fell for his handsomeness and courage to approach her. He's mature enough to handle his own decisions and the consequences thereafter. I can bet you he's a very rich kid and the teacher has been getting good money from him given the way teachers salaries are handled in some African countries

This is not to excuse the dumb teacher from her own blames too cos she should have drawn a boundary that would not give kids the confidence to encroachecen if she's sex starved or a money longer. She might go to jail depending on the laws of Zimbabwe regarding such issues. No law, no punishment

A teacher's authority makes any relationship with a student exploitative, regardless of who initiated it. A minor cannot give free consent in that dynamic. Confidence or wealth doesn't change that—the adult is always responsible for maintaining the boundary. The law exists to protect children from this exact abuse of power.

popp:
Which abuse, I watched the video, if you see the way this boy was spanking the lady while giving her fast and furious you will get crazy.

An abused person can appear enthusiastic, even dominant, within the dynamic their abuser has constructed. That does not mean the relationship is consensual, ethical, or legal. Grooming works by making the victim feel complicit, special, or "in control" as part of the manipulation. The teacher, as the adult and authority figure, created the context and set the stage. The student is acting within a scenario designed and permitted by the abuser.

This is why the law focuses on the position of the adult, not the behavior of the child. A 16-year-old is legally and developmentally incapable of consenting to a sexual relationship with their teacher period. Their physical actions do not change the fundamental power imbalance, breach of trust, or criminal liability of the adult involved.

To claim the boy wasn't victimized because of how he participated is to fundamentally misunderstand how predation, especially of minors, actually works.

We4all:
A 16 year old boy is old enough to reject the advances of his teacher. Physically, he is even stronger and from the video, he wasn't rape.

However, people tend to raise alarm if an older man sleeps with a teenage girl because they mostly do it forcefully; even threating them with death. So, comparing both scenarios is absurd!

Your argument makes several flawed assumptions.

First, strength ≠ consent or power. A student's physical size does not neutralize a teacher’s institutional, psychological, and authoritative power. Consent requires equal freedom to say no without fear of academic, social, or emotional consequences something a student cannot freely do when the other person controls grades, reputation, and discipline.

Second, you assume rape must be physically forceful, ignoring coercion and grooming. Legal definitions of statutory rape recognize that minors cannot meaningfully consent to adults in positions of authority regardless of visible resistance. The absence of a struggle doesn’t imply genuine consent.

Finally, to claim that abuse of girls is "mostly forceful" while dismissing abuse of boys as inherently different is a harmful double standard. It ignores the reality that boys can be groomed, manipulated, and psychologically coerced often in ways that leave no visible marks but cause lasting harm.

The core issue isn’t gender or physical strength it’s the abuse of power by a trusted adult.
Dismissing that based on the victim’s gender or physique perpetuates the very stigma that keeps male victims silent.

Kukutente23:
The video brings to the fore the obvious conflict between age of consent and age of sexual maturity
Sex is a biological act and having sex has to do with physical development and hormones and not age. Age factor was brought in to protect young ones from predators. The fact is looking at that boy, he's every bit matured for sex just as most 16 year old girls are also. The point I'm making is that sex is basically biological and in biology, there's no mechanical set time for testosterone or adrenaline to start pumping. The time they start differ for each person because it's simply biological. Two babies born same day will not grow teeth, sit, crawl, walk, speak the same day. Thus, while the lady's behaviour is irresponsible, the boy's demeanor shows this is not rape in the classical sense. In the legal sense, which is not something that biology respect, it is statutory rape though

You’ve correctly noted that age of consent is a legal construct, not a purely biological one but that’s exactly the point.

Laws aren’t based on biology alone; they are based on ethics, power, and protection.

Biological maturity does not equal psychological, emotional, or social maturity.
A 16-year-old may be physically capable of sex, but they are not equipped to navigate the power imbalance inherent in a relationship with a teacher an adult in a position of authority, trust, and responsibility.

The law intervenes here not because the teenager is biologically immature, but because the structural and psychological dynamics make genuine, free consent impossible in such a relationship.
Statutory rape laws exist precisely to protect minors from adults who could otherwise exploit their physical maturity while bypassing their developmental vulnerability.

So while biology varies, the ethical principle is constant: adults in positions of power must not sexualize those they are meant to guide and protect regardless of how “mature” the minor appears.

Offpoint1:
You know a victim when you see one, in that video that boy is clearly not the victim. He might have probably done countless times with his age mate.

Less not shift the goal post from the main issue which is terrible parenting.

In my days, even in my mid 20s, I was afraid of going close to a woman, talkless of touching.

A spoil child is a spoil child

The core of this issue is not the teenager's demeanor,his hypothetical past, or his parents' skills. The core is the abuse of power.

A 33-year-old teacher, by virtue of their role, has a non-negotiable ethical and legal duty to maintain professional boundaries. When they choose to violate that duty for sexual gratification, they have committed the primary offense. Every argument that seeks to scrutinize the child his attitude, his history, his upbringing is a distraction from this fundamental, unforgivable breach of trust.

We protect children and uphold justice by focusing accountability squarely on the adult who held the power and chose to misuse it. Anything less is a failure of logic and a failure of empathy.

jojothaiv:
I know that most women will speak from both sides of their mouth or better still rather avoid this thread altogether but as for the men saying sh***t, you're more than irredeemable.

Most men are terrible beings and our comments is a complete sell out. Just look at the way man are praising the boy child and some wished they were in his shoes.

Pathetic fellas.

I am just surpassed at how men here are im support on the boy being raped and they see nothing wrong.

Omoluabi16:
A whole lot of women too are praising him and hustling for the video. The double standard is glaring.

Yes they do as they also see many men seeing nothing wrong with it.

If men were busy condemning it, the women will not do it.